Chapter 30

Hero Hugh continued his story:

I headed out towards Belariak. Surprisingly I had no further trouble until I reached the town. I had decided to discard my Regulator's uniform as this would stand out. I swapped it for a standard Brotherhood uniform. I took out some of the papers to use the cover of a messenger. I found a room at a cheap inn. I used the first day to find my way around the town and to see where the prisoners would be taken. I saw that over half the town had been walled off and this was the prison! This posed a real problem, for not only did I need to find a way in, I also had to find a way out with Adrianna. The next morning I started my work as a messenger. I went to the various officers and asked if they had any messages, as this is what I had seen others do. Most said no, but one, a man named Darius, had some messages for me.

"Can you read?" he demanded.

"No sir, never saw the need to."

"Good. Doesn't do for a messenger to be able to read the messages. Now take this to the stores. Tell Falik that I need these things by dawn."

"Yes, sir. Right away, sir."

I delivered the message. It was for horses and arms for men to be sent to some island. I delivered the message, but as it was raining, and as I had no idea how important it was, it managed to get a little damp and some of the writing smudged. I asked if there would be a reply, but the man just waved me away as he struggled to read the soggy paper.

"Bloody incompetent fool! Bet they made him a messenger just to get rid of him!" I heard him mutter as I left the building.

My next message was to the Regulators' headquarters. This was more like it.

"I need this to go to Regulator Poldark. Make sure you give it to him personally. Here is a pass that will let you through the gate. If anyone tries to stop you, show them this and they will let you pass," he said, handing me a separate piece of paper. Bingo! This was just what I needed.

I went through the gate into the prison area. The conditions I saw there were less than ideal. They reminded me of pictures I had seen of the Jewish ghettoes during WW2. People were crowded into houses, far more than they were ever meant to hold. There were people sleeping on the streets, in hallways, anywhere they could find space. I hadn't gone very far when I voice called out.

"Hey! You there! Where do you think you're going?"

"Regulator Poldark, sir. I have a message for him," I replied.

"Give it here, and I'll see he gets it."

"Can't, sir. Been told to put it into his hands personally, sir."

"What's your name?" he asked, becoming cross.

"Baldrick, sir." And yes, I was giving my best Baldrick impersonation at the time.

"Well, Baldrick, how would you like to spend some time as a guest of the Regulators?"

"Sir, I was told to give this message personally to Regulator Poldark."

"Who by?" he asked menacingly

"Oh, I don't know sir."

"Didn't you ask?"

"No sir." [Trust me. I have worked with men like this. They only have one brain cell, and it takes time for it to run around their tiny little minds to work out what needs to be done. You have to be careful what you tell them to do, for they will do exactly what you tell them. Independent thought is not an option.]

I could sense his exasperation.

"Very well. Did he give you anything else?"

"Yes, sir"

"Well?"

"Well what, sir?"

He took a very deep breath. "Well what was it?"

I looked at him puzzled, and then smiled, as if a light had just come on "Oh, it was this, sir," I replied, showing him the pass.

He took it, looked at it, and then gave it back quickly, as if I had handed him a live snake.

"Oh. You need the Regulators' offices. Down to the end of this street, turn right, second left, and then it's the third building on the left. Got that?"

It was just too tempting that I just could not resist. "Yes sir. End of the street, turn right, [pointing left of course] then second left then third building on the right." I nodded and turned to leave.

"No!" the man shouted. "Left!"

"What sir, end of this street and turn left?"

"No, right!" he screamed. He sighed and gave up. "Go to the end of the street and turn left. After that just ask someone else. They can direct you!"

I nodded and started to walk away

"Bloody useless incompetent idiot!" the man muttered as he walked away. As I did so a lad of about fifteen came and walked alongside of me.

"I enjoyed that. I thought he was going to explode," the lad said, laughing. "Why did you wind him up like that?"

"Don't know what you mean," I answered, smiling. "Maybe if he had said please or thank you I might have reacted differently, but he didn't, did he? Don't like rudeness; no need for it."

The lad nodded, said his goodbyes and left. I reached the office and went in. I was met by a small skinny little man who obviously had a broom handle wedged firmly up his bum. He had a bad case of SMS: small man syndrome. He was officious to the point of rudeness. I told him that I had a message for Regulator Poldark.

"Give it to me and I'll see he gets it," came the command.

"Can't. Got orders to give it to him personally. Can't give it to anyone else."

"But I'm not anyone else." the little man puffed himself up to his full height of five-feet one. "I'm his personal assistant!" he said with a toss of his head.

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. I didn't think such people existed on Chaos, and if they did, how the hell did they survive to adulthood? The man was obviously gay and hero-worshipped this Poldark character. I took several deep breaths before I could reply.

"Got to give this to him myself. That's what the officer told me."

"Oh, and which officer was this?" He asked, waspishly

"Don't know, he didn't say. Told me to put the message into his hands personally and no one else. He said if I had any trouble to show this pass." I shoved the pass under his nose, and watched as the colour drained from his face. This pass was dammed effective. It read "Any man obstructing this messenger will explain himself to Vladik personally." I don't know who Vladik is, but he makes these folk shit themselves.

"I'll get Regulator Poldark at once!" And with that he scurried off. He came back with Poldark a few minutes later.

"Here he is, sir," the man simpered as Poldark came through the door. He was a big man, at least six-feet six and had to weigh 20 stone (280 lbs.) at least. It looked like it was all muscle as well: a very big and powerful man. I locked a fixed expression on my face as I handed the message to him. I just could not get the image of them together out of my head!

"Is there a reply. sir?" I asked desperate to get out of there before my self-control failed me and I burst out laughing. I knew to do so would be fatal.

"The man broke the seal and then read the message. A look of concern crossed his face, and he was silent for a moment. He looked up and saw me still there.

"What? Oh yes — a reply. Come back in an hour and I'll give you my reply."

"Yes sir," I acknowledged and I almost ran from the building.

I stood outside and looked around, smiling to myself at the incongruous couple inside. I made my way to a nearby tavern. I entered the smoky building and sat down. The barmaid came over, a small skinny girl of about fifteen. I ordered a beer and asked what was on the menu. She looked at me puzzled.

"Stew, of course. What else would we have?

"Okay, I'll take the stew." After all, what else would there be to eat here? Get any and every ingredient you like, bung it in a pot, boil for hours: stew! Come back, Jamie Oliver; all is forgiven!

"Oh, we've got some bread!" she added.

"I nodded. Stew and bread — just for a change it was possible to have bread and stew! It was all anybody in these inns knew! The stew arrived and surprisingly it was good, but I tried not to think too hard about its contents. After I had finished my meal I sat and watched as some men were playing cards. It was all going well when one of the men accused his fellow players of cheating. Shouts rang out, knives were drawn and a fight broke out. It didn't last long, and the man who did the accusing was lying dead on the table. Several men came rushing in and took all the participants away. The man leading these men came over and started questioning the remaining patrons.

"Okay, what happened here?"

"They were playing cards when Golfrey, the dead man, accused Helgat there of cheating. He took exception to that and they fought. Golfrey lost," the barman said.

He looked over at me. "Is that what you saw?"

"Yes, just about."

The man looked quizzically at me. "You new here? I haven't seen you before."

I swallowed nervously. "Yes, just got in."

"What you doing here?"

"Messenger. Waiting to take a message back from Regulator Poldark."

I saw his lips quiver in a slight smile. "Ah, our special couple."

I said nothing, but he saw my mouth twitch in a smile.

"What's your name?"

"Baldrick, sir."

"Very well, Baldrick. When you have finished with them, come and see me. I'm Regulator Inspector Jacobs. I'm in charge of internal security. I might just have a job for you."

"Yes, sir. Where's your office, sir?"

"It's in the main administration building. It's next to General Hagrith's residence."

"Yes, sir. I'll find it, sir."

With that he left. I returned to Poldark's and asked if there was a reply to the message. There was and I delivered it. I made my way to where R. I. Jacobs had his office. I was looking round at the papers scattered on the desk when Jacobs came in.

"Ah, good! You're here. Now then, very important: can you read?"

"No sir."

"Good. Now take these papers and deliver them to General Hagrith's office. He's over at the prison at the moment dealing with those idiots from earlier. Once he's finished with them he'll deal with the papers."

"Very well, sir." I gathered up the papers and went to leave. I arrived at the general's office and was shown into the waiting room by a very pretty young woman. I thanked her and sat down. I read through the papers. In there was a message from a man called Fedor saying he had captured one cock burner, and had a lead on another. Did he want the women sent over to Belariak? I took the paper and hid it in my jacket. I read the rest. Some were requests for more men and supplies and others were reports of how the conquest was progressing. From reading between the lines things were not going as well as they wished. It seemed that they had abandoned an area called Gronhinne. They had just received a report that the last unit they had sent there deserted to a man!