Chapter 2: Like Blood Murals Being All The Rage In Home Decor

I'm not saying I COULD NOT have come up with a better plan.

I'm saying--given the Zombie-Apocalypse and some piss-on-yourself howls, someone might think it a good idea to stay put. That maybe, I wasn't the only one waiting for a government guy to get on TV and tell us they had A PLAN. For a sixteen year old, killing Zombie-Rob and Zombie-Sow is in the realm of overachievement! It wasn't bashing their brains in with a baseball bat, but I deserved style points for the cleaver.

AND, after a few days, I had approached the conclusion that no one would be coming to rescue me when someone did.

So there!

The gunshots woke me. I crawled to the front window and peeked under the shade. Three days would normally give me cabin fever, but the zombies acted like a huge dose of social vitamin C. There were normal people outside! One guy tripped a zombie while another one used an axe to separate its head and body. A group with guns covered the two guys as they made quick work of the last zombie on the street. I looked around; there must have only been three zombies when the people entered the cul-de-sac since I could only see three for-real corpses.

"Hurry up!" someone yelled from the street entrance to the cul-de-sac. "They're coming."

Two brunettes ran up the steps of my building. Shit! A guy shambled behind the two women. A zombie! Can't be ... had to be an old guy. They rang the doorbell.

They actually rang my doorbell! I slid away from the window when they rang again. I wasn't going to answer the door! I had plenty of food; there was nothing outside remotely related to my business.

"Two minutes!" the same someone yelled. A woman!

"This is bullshit!" A guy yelled. "We gotta get out of here."

"Or into a building!" someone else shouted.

The doorbell rang again.

I cracked open the window. "There's no one here!"

For past and future context purposes, it's the fucking Zombie-Apocalypse! Just like a hot woman can reduce a male to monkey logic, the Zombie-Apocalypse can reduce an IQ by fifty points during a crisis.

I might have suffered a seventy-point drop.

"Miguel!" someone yelled.

"He's not here either!" I shouted out. "He turned into a zombie so I cut his head off with a cleaver. You can go away now!"

"Miguel! It's Joey!"

"I don't know anyone by that name."

"Nurse Mansfield!"

It sort of sounded like her, but I'd never heard her yell.

"Let us in, Miguel!"

"One minute!" I opened the window a little more and tried to look down to the front door. No luck! I saw zombies turn the corner. If it really was Josephine...

I pushed the window all the way up and stuck my head out: blue-eyes, brown hair, and perfect breast to torso ratio. I ran down the steps and worked the locks as fast as I could. Josephine and her friends pushed the door open.

"Come on!" they yelled to the people in the street. "Come on!"

Josephine pulled me into a tight hug, "I knew you'd make it, Miguel! I knew it!"

I would have said something, except she kissed me. Really-really kissed me! I would have kissed back, except for the part where she really-really kissed me. People ran by us. Gunshots outside. It could have been fireworks though! Josephine Mansfield really-really kissed me some more.

"Clear!" someone yelled. "Close and lock!"

More like slam and lock but okay!

"We need something to brace the door," the blonde tornado at the tail end of the party yelled. "The zombies had line of sight. They know where we are!"

"They'll be able to get in!" I squeaked and wished it had come out a manly-squeak instead of a squeaky-squeak.

"They can't think their way out of a paper bag," the blonde said. She wore a police uniform. Oh, fucking finally! "But they'll keep going in the same direction as a meal. Enough of them can push the door down."

"Shit!" I squeaked.

Pieces of furniture passed by me as the blonde directed the best placement for a barricade.

"Danny. Stephen." I said. The jocks turned to look at me; a moment passed between us. They had been a part of Robert's bullying crew.

I looked around at the people: blonde cop lady, a tall drink of attractive brunette I didn't recognize, an old guy, Tara the cheerleading captain, Kellie Connolly (the wants-to-be-nice cheerleader), a redhead with fierce green eyes staring at me curiously, and a thick Asian chick. I could have done without the jocks and cheerleaders but that many non-zombie faces made me smile.

"You got something to eat, kid?" the old man asked with a toothy grin. "We have to keep the calorie count up in this brave and shitty world."

"Especially the old folks," the tall brunette said, leaning against the old man. They clicked matching wedding bands together in a gesture, which seemed to give them comfort.

"Not a lot left," I replied.

"You been holed up in here the entire time?" the blonde cop asked critically.

I winced; it wasn't like I could deny my plan. On the other hand, they did come for me. So there!

"Why did you come here?" I asked.

"Joey insisted," the blonde replied.

"Are you the leader?" I asked Josephine. Giving me another hug, she shook her head.

"That would be me," the blonde cop announced. "Bianca Bellin."

A look passed between the jocks and Tara. I'd seen those glances behind my foster brother's back. Robert had been the undisputed King of the school. These three thought the social ladder should have had one of them on top of the pile. The way Bianca's lips pressed together told me that she didn't miss the exchange. I might have been better off leaving them outside.

"You're a cop?" I asked Bianca.

"There's no more cops," Stephen said angrily. "There's no more anything!"

He was going to be a shithead! He also had support. Fuck me!

"I was." Bianca ignored Stephen's outburst. It felt too practiced! "Stephen's right though; the cops left are not..."

"Interested in keeping order," the tall brunette finished. "Not the old order anyway. Hello, Miguel, I'm Brandi Larson."

"Dr. Larson?" I shook her hand.

"Correct," she replied. "This is my husband, James Larson. You know Stephen, Kellie, Tara, Danny, and obviously, Joey."

"I'm Ashley Robbins," the redhead said stepping forward. "I used to be a stripper before the Zombie-Day. This heifer is Jewel Dawn, another stripper."

"I'm not fat," Jewel, the Asian female, said to me. "I like to think of it as pleasantly thick."

I looked at her thighs. She wore black tights--two votes for pleasantly thick!

"So Joey guessed right," Brandi told Bianca. "He's alive."

"If you've stayed this entire time, you don't have a lot of food left," Bianca said in a very authoritative voice. "We can't stay here."

"Were you the only survivor?" Brandi's husband asked.

"No, sir," I said. "My foster mother and brother."

"Robert's alive," Tara gasped. "Where is he?"

"Well..."

"He woke up a zombie?" Bianca asked. "That's not a survivor, Miguel!"

"Can't say how he woke up," I replied. "He was zombie when I saw him, so was his mom!"

"Where are they?" Bianca's shotgun came up.

I really liked the combination of short, blonde stack of hotness wearing a cop uniform and wielding a shotgun. To be honest, the cop uniform and the shotgun were the parts doing it for me!

"I sort of..." Shrugging, I made a chopping gesture at my neck.

"I'm guessing he killed them," Ashley yelled from the kitchen. I hadn't seen her or Jewel leave the room.

"Oh man! He definitely killed them!" Jewel yelled. "The walls and floor are covered in blood."

"Redecorating?" Bianca asked with a raised eyebrow.

I wanted to be cool and say something like 'White walls are so yesterday', but she turned around and walked into the living room.

"You killed Robert and his mom!" Tara screamed at me.

"They were zombies." Kellie sounded annoyed for some reason. "Right, Miguel? It's not like you killed Rob because he made your life hell."

"I enjoyed killing him because he made my life hell," I admitted. "At the time though, he was trying to eat me, so I chopped his head off."

"We need to eat," Bianca yelled from somewhere in the house. "Joey, help your boy pack! After some food, we have to get back to our place. And don't think I'm going to let it go that you knew he'd be alive."

"I knew," Josephine said, patting my arm and pulling me into the living room. "I knew!"

"Maybe we should wait until night," I said from behind the pack of people.

"You scared, shmidge!" Tara, Danny, and Stephen said it at the same time.

How lucky was I? Idiot triplets!

"How about--fuck yeah?" I replied. "Are you too stupid to be scared of things that want to fucking eat you? EAT YOU! Hello? Hello? It's reality calling and you're on the menu!"

"Enough!" Bianca yelled. She probably saved me from an ass kicking or Pushing the three nincompoops outside as a distraction while the rest of us got away, thus letting my secret out of the bag.

"Look, kids!" Bianca hissed. "You're not in high school anymore so cut the shit out or I'll leave the four of you behind."

It didn't sound good--not the being left part, but being left with those three!

"We think there's at least one vampire in Hohokus or close enough not to make a difference, Miguel," Bianca said.

"That shit is real?" I really-really hated my new habit of squeaking.

"It's not real vampires. I think! The description caught on," James Larson told me. "We've heard they're strong and fast. Smart too!"

"According to the emergency broadcast, vampires can control the zombies and werewolves. Yes, those are real too!" Bianca told me.

"For some reason, the vampire is only hunting at night," James said. "Thank God for small miracles!"

I nodded to them.

"God?" Brandi laughed at her husband.

"If you can believe in miracles, I can thank something I don't believe in for small favors."

"We won't run into the vampire," Bianca said. "There are easier pickings than us. The zombies can see as well at night as during the day, so we're the ones at a disadvantage if we don't move while we have sunlight."

They hadn't asked me if I wanted to go with them. I did, but it would have been nice if they hadn't assumed. I would have said yes, but they could have asked! Like they could have asked before eating the rest of the food in the house or Josephine could have asked before throwing most of my clothes into one of Robert's gym bags. Unlike Stephen and Danny, who protested every decision made by Bianca, I kept my mouth shut. Bianca was a government authority! Since it had been my plan to wait for such a person to come get me and she did come to get me, it would have been hypocritical to be critical. Not to mention, getting left behind was a scary thought!

Zombies would also have other dietary options should I find myself a guest at one of their frequent buffets. The jocks might be gamey, but there was a lot of meat on their bones.

On the way to their hideout, Bianca showed why she should be 'Number One Bitch'. The short stick of dynamite was quick on the trigger and lightning with one of those extending metal rod things. Stephen and Danny wouldn't like it if she shoved that rod up their asses, which she looked capable and willing to do.