Chapter 14: Like the Smart Doing Stupid Right (And Getting Away With It)

"Every five minutes," Bianca told Kellie and Crystal.

The two girls were on dirt bikes that they liberated from the University campus. The 'liberated' was for the sake of the police sergeant; he tended to make a face when discussing the looting of anything other than food or necessities. Kellie and Crystal assured him the bikes were absolutely necessary. He didn't buy it! I didn't feel like getting involved since the bikes made the escape from the University campus easier--zombies loved the sound of an engine revving and followed wherever it led, as long as a meal wasn't a couple of steps away. A few of the guys could ride them, but nobody could match Kellie and Crystal; country girls will survive!

"If you don't check in every five minutes, we're coming after you," Bianca said.

Kellie and Crystal nodded.

"Any people that approach you for help or get your attention, leave them a flyer and one of the extra radios," Ashley told the girls.

"Don't get off the bikes," Bianca warned. "For anyone!"

The zombies were getting closer. Kellie and Crystal gunned the bikes before riding away.

"That girl!" Bianca said to me. Kellie had drawn her sword and decapitated a zombie as she rode by it.

"Crystal is going to want a sword now," Ashley said to me.

"Let's go." I spun around. A Push forced the bank doors open.

"I'll get the alarm!" Bianca yelled, running by me.

"The safety deposit boxes are this way." Ashley pointed to the left. I followed behind her. Thick steel bars composed the door. I Pushed, pulling the door off the wall and sending it flying behind us.

"Box One, Box Eleven, Box One Hundred Eleven, Box One One One One." Ashley pointed to each box after a cursory glance around the room.

"It has to One One One One," I said. "It's the biggest box."

She stood aside as I popped the box door with a Push. Reaching in, she pulled the inner box out and handed it to me. I took the key from around my neck. Ashley took the key out of her pocket; our first stop had been to the bank manager's house to get his key. I didn't need the keys to open the box but dealing with my mother demanded extra care. The keys turned! I checked inside, saw my mother's journal, and nodded to Ashley.

"Did we get it?" Bianca asked as she walked into the room. I patted the closed box.

"Ummm ... Miguel." Ashley smiled and stuck her tongue out. Her eyes danced from box to box.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Bianca said. "No way! Some of the owners are probably still alive."

"It would piss off that sergeant of yours," Ashley replied with a wink.

"I'm on lookout and monitoring the girls," Bianca said seriously. "We have thirty minutes before they're supposed to be back."

Ashley waited for Bianca to be out of the room before clapping and doing a little dance. I twirled my hand; the box doors burst open and the locks for the inner boxes dropped to the ground.

"Get me a bag! Two bags!" Ashley yelled after I left the room.

"Did you find what you needed?" Bianca asked. I stared at her until she looked away.

The journal would have to wait but with a half-hour I could inventory the rest. It didn't work out that way; the first thing I pulled out was my favorite toy, a tiny fire truck. I put it back in the box and closed the lid.

The sergeant was being judgy again. Luckily, his sister dragged him to the farthest corner of the room from my table.

"If you give your pet too many treats, she won't eat real food," Brandi said from the other side of the table. Ashley and Jewel were sorting 'their' loot from the security boxes. A few women watched them with interest.

I had laid out the contents of my mom's security box on my table. I'd watched my mom write in her journal many times. She had told me it would be in the security box before she killed herself. The other contents of the box were a surprise: toys, pictures, a map, a set of keys, and letters.

"Ashley can't eat gold or diamonds," I told Brandi. The girls had stacked gold bars against a wall. Ashley convinced me at the last minute to break into the bank vault for her.

"Yes, but now they want to raid every bank," Brandi replied.

"Might not be a bad idea," I said, rolling the fire truck across the table. "We may meet a group that wants to trade rather than rape and kill us."

"Trade for gold?"

I shrugged. My mom's journal was large and thick, like one of those old-fashioned dictionaries on display in libraries. My mother also had tiny handwriting!

"You're right, you know," Brandi said to me.

Knowing my mom, it didn't matter if I started at the beginning, end, or middle of her journal. Linear and my mom didn't belong in the same sentence, except to deny they'd ever met.

"About what?" I asked Brandi.

"James always expected I'd cheat," she replied. "I hated it! If I slept with you, I would feel like I was breaking my vows."

I didn't have anything to say.

"I thought you might have a suggestion," she said.

"I'm not married," I replied. "Sixteen, remember?"

"Some us have the feeling you know a lot more than you're letting on," she told me. "Like a star exploding millions and millions of years ago!"

"It was an example. A possibility!" I said. "How could I know what happened?"

She raised her eyebrows at me. I took the opportunity to apply a new method of dealing with the look--I ignored it.

"I don't know, but I'm hoping you have the answer to my problem about having sex with someone who isn't my husband," she said.

"Still sixteen."

"A young mind sees solutions older minds don't," Brandi said smiling. "It's a flexibility thing."

"You're hot," I told her. "I'm going to flex my way into whatever will let me see you naked."

She laughed. "That's kind of the point, Miguel."

I stroked the leather cover of my mother's journal. The memories of seeing my mom write in it flooded back.

"My mother tortured me," I said. "I mentioned it before, but you don't understand. It hurt to use my power before I got to puberty. My mom was a Sarah Connor level of batshit crazy! No amount of crying, begging, or whatever could turn her! My mom made me practice until I could ignore the pain. Any pain!"

Brandi put her hand on top of mine.

"Robert was a fucking pussy compared to my mom. A sadistic little amateur trying to compete with someone who truly believed she was serving a higher purpose." I opened the journal to a random page. The words made little sense! "She lived in a different world. That's your problem, Brandi!"

"What?"

"Your mind is living in a world other than the one outside those windows."

She took her hand off mine.

"It's okay! At least, you're not wearing a uniform." I looked at Bianca and the police sergeant. I gestured at the members of the group we'd saved from the Project's gang. "You could be like them and let Bianca be responsible for your life and death."

"So I fuck you and I get to make my own decisions?"

"It's not like you're letting them make any decisions," I replied. "And you keep the option for yourself because you're fronting that I'm going to get to see you naked and more at some point."

I smiled at Brandi. "You can accept it's never going to be the same, that the world in your mind is gone forever, or you could do nothing and someone will push you out of the way soon enough. Don't pretend though--doing nothing is a decision to continue living in your mind."

"That's it?"

"Or I could make it easy for you." I shrugged her. "Rub your face in the new world!"

"Like you did with Bianca."

"Nah! You're too good with a scalpel for anything like that. Bianca also likes it; she might have been sex crazy before Zombie-Day," I said. "My plan would be to kill two birds with one stone, maybe three. I'm the fucker who can do it too! Throw, Push, Push, Push--dead birds falling from the sky!"

"Is it going to hurt?" she asked.

"Your heart will bleed," I told her. "But you'll think fair is fair."

"Okay!" Brandi nodded and stood up.

"What?"

"Do it," Brandi ordered. "Nobody is pushing me out of shit!"

I watched her walk away. When did I get my adult card?

Crystal caught my attention; she was at a table surrounded by the other University girls. A couple of the girls looked like they were about to start throwing punches at each other.

"Mr. Valence," I said.

The man moved like a block of wood flew. "Yah?"

"Marina and Stephanie still following you around?" I asked.

"Yeah, they don't like me or anything if that's what you're thinking." He looked at Jewel. "They're a little young for me anyway."

"I'm going to take them off your hands, okay?" I pushed my mom's security box towards him. "Can you put that in my room?"

"We got a problem," he said before picking up the box.

"Do you people know any other words?"

"Two of the guys got frisky with Joey. 'Cause of her clothes." He left me with that shit!

"Where are they?" I asked loudly.

The police sergeant rushed over. "Look, they pushed it, but Josephine handled it. You don't have to get involved. It's over!"

"I was going to fix them," I said.

"Oh!" He blinked.

Everybody in the room blinked.

"They're gone," his sister told me. "Can you check my baby again?"

"She's fine!" I told her for about the thousandth time since she got comfortable asking me. "Buy some Stripper Insurance and I'll make your daughter better than fine."

"That's not going to work for much longer," the sergeant told me. "People are getting anxious because you can heal their problems and you're not doing it."

"Let's pretend I don't give a shit," I said. "Holy crap! We don't have to pretend because I do not give a shit."

"Is that your answer for everything?" he growled.

"I don't care," I told him. "That's a problem for you and them, not so much for me. I kind of like not caring!"

"You can stop now," Bianca told the sergeant. "It wasn't a suggestion either! Miguel is feeling teenagery so don't make it worse."

"Teenagery?" I asked.

"I don't care. I really don't care about anything. I don't give a shit about crap," Bianca sing-songed. "It's not true or you wouldn't have asked for the guys who decided Joey's ass was community property."

"I wasn't going to do anything to them!" I protested.

"How strong are you going to make her anyway?" Bianca asked. "She isn't any bigger!"

"I think the more important question, is why are you doing it?" The sergeant eyed me.

"That's none of your business," Bianca told him. "We kicked the guys out, Miguel."

"Without letting me heal them?" I winced.

"They were lucky they didn't try that shit with Kelly," she snorted.

"It's the sword," I replied. "It's a big fucking sword!"

"Are you going to do those things to the rest of us?" she asked. The sergeant straightened and leaned in with an eager look.

I whistled and grimaced.

"Ashley, Joey, Elizabeth, and Kellie," she said. "You trust them."

I didn't reply.

"Kellie? Really?" she asked.

Pulling my mom's journal closer to me, I shrugged. "Maybe we can find a sword for Crystal. It would solve my Kellie problem!"

"Doubt it! It'll be two chicks with swords because Kellie has gotten pretty attached to her claymore," Bianca sat down at the table. "We need to talk about Lorena."

"Oooh! Oooh! No!" Crystal yelled from the other table. "I'm pre-law! I can take care of the Lorena thing."

She ran around the table towards me. Stopping halfway, she turned around. The girls were closing around whatever Crystal had on the table. She rushed back, pushed some girls aside, and grabbed a poster-sized sheet of paper off the table.

"What is that?" I asked when she put it down at my table.

"The Emergency Pussy Tree!" She said proudly. Turning towards the people standing around the room, she continued in a loud voice, "And some bitches need to step up and write their names down!"

"What is the Emergency Pussy Tree?" I asked, slightly horrified that I might already know the answer.

Bianca wouldn't look at me.

"Get Lorena," Crystal told Mr. Valence. "Tell everyone, Miguel has made a decision about her."

"I have?" I didn't know I still had to make a decision so I was a little unclear as to how I could have made one!

"Yes," Crystal assured me. "You've decided to let me handle it. I'm pre-Law, you know."

"Young lady, nobody is anything anymore," the Professor said before sitting down. Brandi sat beside him. Other people came into the room.

"What is the Emergency Pussy Tree?" I looked at the poster.

"You need sex after you do your thing, right?" Crystal asked.

"It makes me horny," I replied. "I need the endorphins to balance my brain chemistry."

"Last time, you said sex cooled your brain. The time before that you said you need sex to do it, I took that to mean it's like fuel," the Professor told me. "Which is it?"

I nodded when Crystal didn't continue. She looked at the Professor and shrugged.

"So you need a lot of sex." Crystal's voice was loud enough to include everyone in the conversation. "Sophie blew you to four or five orgasms on the Tower."

"Six," Sophie said before sitting on the table.

"Right! Six times," Crystal gestured at Sophie. "When we got here, you put Sophie and me in lights out!"

"Knocked Ashley and me out too," Jewel volunteered. "Same night."

"Really?" Crystal asked.

Ashley nodded, modeling a necklace.

"Oooh! I like sapphires," Crystal said. Ashley put her hand on the necklace protectively.

"I'll pay for it with nights," Crystal told her. Ashley shook her head. Turning to me, Crystal smiled. "So you need A LOT of sex after you do your magic."

"It's not magic," the Professor said.

"Isn't there something sciency about if it's advanced enough technology simple people will think it's magic or something?" Crystal asked.

The Professor shook his head slowly. "Continue, young lady!"

"Then stop interrupting!" Crystal's smile and tone of voice took the edge of her words. Crystal turned to look at me. "I was thinking--what happens if we have an emergency? If you have to use your magic, we must be ready to support you. That's why the Emergency Pussy Tree is important ... and I better see some people's name on the Tree. The people shall remain nameless, but I'm looking at them right now."

Crystal eyed the women from the Belmore Projects' group. I shook my head at the women to let them know they could ignore Crystal's implied threat. Of course, Ashley was nodding her head at the women, which might have counteracted my permission to forget the Tree.

"So when we have an emergency, you work your way down the Tree." Crystal held the poster up for me to see.

"Doesn't that mean that I'll always..."

"Use the same girls?" Crystal finished for me. "I haven't worked that out yet."

"Maybe a three dimensional Tree," Brian, the gay college guy, said. He walked behind my table and leaned against the windows. "He could hit the list by preference."

"I'm first for head!" Sophie yelled.

Crystal looked from Brian to the poster.

"You weren't this eager yesterday at the Tower," I said to Crystal. She had been quite eager (insistently eager) when we got back to the apartment building!

She stared at me for a few seconds. "Truck. Whoosh. Eeeeiiiyumm. KAPLOW! Dead Gang Members. Dead Zombies. I am going to live! Wet Pussy."

I stared at anyone who was laughing until they stopped.

"Doctors Larson," Crystal said to the married couple. "Is wet pussy an evolutionary survival thing? Because when that truck flew by, Miguel got a lot hotter! I immediately had the thought, 'he is so cute and I bet that lump in his pants would fit perfectly in my widdle-widdle pussy'. I was surprised by how slutty I felt all of a sudden!"

Thankfully, Mr. Valence led Lorena into the room. He walked her a few feet in front of my table and stepped aside.

"So I'm in charge of this little problem, right?" Crystal asked me.

Bianca kicked me under the table. Pint-sized blonde wanted to see where Crystal would go. The college group acted as a kind of bridge between the original group and the Projects group. The sex thing definitely made the Projects' people and the stragglers anxious. A flock of cute college girls seemingly willing to fill that particular need took the pressure off the unwilling women.

I nodded to Crystal.

She rested her ass on the table and folded her arms. "Lorena, you committed murder. You killed a member of the group. The us and them thing is a load of crap! There are two groups here, but they don't have anything to do with where we used to live or when we got here. It's much simpler: group one fucks Miguel or is attached to someone fucking Miguel AND the second group is everybody else."

Brandi's spine straightened so fast I thought I heard the snap.

"To be honest, I find it hard to believe no one from what you thought of as 'them' wants to screw Miguel," Crystal told Lorena. "It's probably peer pressure!"

Crystal looked at the women from the Projects' group. "Ladies, it's reality check time! Please look at the woman on your left. Look at the woman on your right. Eyes back on me. If the four of us were zombie bitten, who do you think Miguel will save first?"

All the women on my side of the room pointed at Crystal.

"He's a thirteen year old boy!" Crystal exclaimed.

"Sixteen!" I said, putting my elbow on the table. Resting my chin on my palm, I drummed my cheek with my fingers.

Crystal shrugged. "Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. All the way to what? Twenty-four. Thirty-four. Eighty-four like the Professor."

"I'm not even seventy!" the Professor blurted.

"Grandma. Mom. Sister. Daughter. Maybe a cute Auntie. Woman wetting his dick. Woman he wants wetting his dick. Every other woman on the planet," Crystal told the group. "Are there any other categories of females for a heterosexual male?"

"What about a friend?" I asked.

"Not for you," Sophie said loudly.

"Why not?"

"If she's not 'with' you, why does she need to be around you?" Sophie asked me. "I'm a very good listener! I won't even talk because your dick will be in my mouth."

Brandi stared at me hard.

"Sophie is one hundred percent correct," Crystal said, turning towards me. "If you want or need something from a woman, we can find one who will provide it to you and bang you too!"

I decided shutting up was really the best thing for me.

Crystal faced the group. "Ladies, I'm not saying all of you have to fuck him! If you are not morally opposed to good dick, why wouldn't you want to be higher in his mental order in case some bad shit happens? I've been there! Zombies on one side and a rape gang on the other! You're damn right I noticed that the first chick to walk into this building from my group happened to be the girl who horked a few of Miguel's loads."

Blowing air out of my nose slowly, I studied the paint on the walls. I had kept a close eye on Sophie when we left the University Tower. If they were going to put me on trial for it, I had no defense except that Sophie's oral skills qualified as a national treasure.

Crystal lowered her voice to make it seem like she was stage whispering. "And Sophie dropped about twenty pounds since yesterday. My ass had, you know, that little bit of fat at the cheek and thigh line. It was gone this morning! Keep in mind-- I woke up in Miguel's bed. You should take a good look at his women. The level of hotness among the set is not fucking natural! I'm just saying..."

"It's completely natural!" I protested. "What's more natural than DNA?"

"Where were we?" Crystal said, but not before pointing at the Emergency Pussy Tree poster.

"I'm pretty sure we were going to resolve the Lorena situation," Bianca replied.

"It's not fair," the police sergeant said, stepping forward. "You can't expect these women to whore themselves so you'll save them, Miguel."

The Professor stood up. "Which woman here would you help before your sister?"

The sergeant's mouth slammed shut.

"You're right, it's not fair," the Professor said, sitting back down. "It's human! You can pretend the world used to be fair if you want to. It doesn't matter since I haven't met a zombie who can say the word justice. You'll save your sister first. I'll save my wife first. Do not be a hypocrite because Miguel makes the same choice as we do!"

Crystal waited for the sergeant to step back.

"Lorena, you killed one of us," Crystal said. "You need to replace the value of that person."

Ashley snorted.

"This is a special circumstance," Crystal told everyone. "It's the first time! We're learning to work together. We're learning how to be a community. How to serve each other's needs!"

"Maybe she should be the leader," I grumbled.

Crystal spun around and glowered at me. I raised my hands in apology.

"Obviously, we can't always handle these situations in the way I'm about to suggest," Crystal continued. "Right now though, we must make inroads towards unity, otherwise only some of us will survive."

Most of the people in the room were getting a little caught up in Crystal's words.

"Lorena, I sentence you to one hundred days, a day being defined as a continuous twenty-four block, of community service," Crystal pronounced.

The Projects' group exploded in disapproval.

Crystal spun around and bent over the table. She winked at me. "You really liked it when I said that thing last night."

"What thing?" I asked.

"I'm tight as hell!"

My dick got hard. Something about her voice when she said it drove me nuts!

"You're going to keep my widdle-widdle pussy tight as hell, aren't you?" she asked. "As soon as I said it, you were ... Uh! Masterful!"

Getting even harder!

"How masterful?" Joey asked Crystal.

"He's almost ready for you," Crystal replied.

"When do you people find the time to talk?" I asked. "You just got here! How could you know about Joey?"

"When do women need to FIND the time to talk?" Sophie asked me.

"It's actually pretty easy to get anyone caught up on the subject of Miguel," Joey told me. "You're always the first and last subject of a conversation."

I looked from woman to woman--they weren't kidding!

"I think they're done," Bianca told Crystal.

The sergeant was stepping forward again. Crystal pointed at him. "Not yet!"

His sister pulled him back.

"For obvious reasons, we can't have you cleaning highways, and you'd enjoy cooking our meals so that wouldn't be much of a punishment," Crystal told Lorena. "Therefore for those one hundred days, you will service Miguel."

Lorena tilted her head. The Projects' group raised their voices again. Crystal folded her arms over her breasts and waited them out.

"I'm not talking about being his sex slave like one of us." Crystal's fluttered her hand at Ashley, Jewel, Sophie, and herself.

"You're a cock-pet," Elizabeth said.

"What?" Crystal asked.

"We are the sex slaves." Elizabeth gestured at Joey and herself. "Thus the white and free access of our clothing. You are a cock-pet!"

"Wait," Bianca said. "Crystal only did it because she owed Ashley fifty-two nights."

"That was last night!" Crystal told her. "Tonight, it's all about me and him. Actually, tomorrow night! They're probably going to insist Lorena start serving her sentence as soon as possible."

"One hundred days in a row?" Lorena asked.

"Of course not, he'd kill you with orgasms!" Crystal replied. "The days will be spread out a comfortable time apart."

"It could take a while," Lorena said thoughtfully.

"I don't see how even once a week would work," Crystal told her. "I'd count on once a month with an emergency here or there."

"It's over eight years at that rate," Lorena said happily.

"Did I miss something?" I asked the women at my table.

"You already said you'd take me if you left because I owe Ashley," Bianca said. "We're all a part of the community that Lorena owes so..."

I scratched my forehead. I took a deep breath, held it for as long as I could, and released it very slowly. Fucking Crystal!

"Don't smile," Crystal said to Lorena. "It's punishment! It's not being a cock-pet or a sex slave or even being in his bed because you owe Ashley. Miguel's a great guy!"

"I am?"

"He takes care with our pleasure," Crystal told Lorena. "Even when he was snaking Bianca's poop-chute so she could get her ass straight, he made sure she wouldn't hesitate to ask for another treatment if her tail got bent again. Nnnh-the-fuck-nnh, sister! Those hundred days are about him. You don't have a say! Your pleasure DOES NOT fucking matter! If our Lord and Master wants to spend those twenty four hours fucking your ass, then one of us will go get the ingredients of a sandwich for you to make him one while you're out here bouncing your ass on his cock."

I put my forehead on the table. "Oh, please don't!"

"Lord and Master," Joey said with a clap. "I love it!"

"Please?" I begged.

"So you set this up for him to benefit again?" the sergeant asked. "What the fuck! Is everything going to serve him?"

"Bianca has reached critical mass," Crystal said to him. I looked up; everyone stared at Crystal.

Crystal drew an air-circle around the College Group. "We're very close, almost like brothers and sisters. The Apocalypse greatly accelerates the time it took to become great friends."

"I'd be lost without all of them," Brian announced. "I could very well spend the whole day crying if something happened to any of them. Loudly, Miguel! A guy bawling his eyes out! It's pathetic, especially when I do it."

"I'm absolutely sure if Miguel decides to leave that I can fuck fast enough to convince him to take all of MY group," Crystal told the sergeant. "I don't even think it's going to be a lot of work because there's only four of my girls who didn't write their name on the Tree. Although, they want to start their own Tree to service Miguel's ladies so we're negotiating."

Crystal's head rotated until she could meet eyes with Bianca. "Between your group and my group, it's forty people who need you."

Bianca spun around in the chair and stared out the window. Crystal smiled at the sergeant. He tried to hold her gaze, but the concern was written on his face. He couldn't stop himself from glancing at the back of Bianca's head.

"Forty is better than ... God, there's almost a hundred people here!" I said. "Forty is definitely better! It would be a great way to reduce the numbers! I like it! How do I activate this plan?"

"I'm not done yet," Crystal told me. "And you might as well give it up because I saved the best for last."

"I'm not going to like it," I said.

"Probably not," the Professor said with a laugh.

Crystal turned back to group. "It's community service because what Miguel gets out of it, he will spend on the community!"

"I will?"

Bianca elbowed me in the ribs.

"Ouch!"

"Checking the progress of pregnancies. Making sure kids are okay." Crystal ignored what was going on behind her. "Correcting health problems like diabetes so we don't have to hear any more whining."

I knew I'd lost when the diabetic took a step forward.

"Yes?" Crystal's voice was too bright!

"When is she going to start?" he asked. "Is he going to take care of us tonight if she..."

Crystal snapped her fingers in my direction. Joey and Elizabeth book-ended me. They grabbed my arms and walked me to the front of the table.

"Lorena!" Crystal pointed to a spot in front of me. I finally smelled the set-up when Lorena knelt at my feet.

Crystal outlined my dick. "Kiss the cock and accept your punishment!"

"Really?" I asked Crystal. "Fucking really?"

Lorena put her hands on my hips. She looked up at me before leaning forward and planting a line of kisses along my length. Inching closer to me, Lorena rested her cheek on my dick.

"You fucking planned all of it!" I whispered at Crystal.

"I might have talked to the accused," she replied. "I had to make sure she could mount an effective defense. Pre-law, remember? I always wanted to be a politician too. Not like the last one, I know the rules! Justice demands a fair trial, Miguel. It worked out that Lorena and I found common ground for a plea-bargain."

"I don't like you very much," I told her.

"You have twenty-four hours to get over it." She patted my shoulder. "Or tomorrow night, you could do the thing to me that you did to Bianca. Or you could go all out! Hold me in contempt of court and sentence me to a day of community service. If you feel that put out, make it two days. We really need to solidify this method as a viable punishment mechanism. Public spankings too! Bianca looks the type so keep that in mind for next time."