Chapter 7

Poor Joe Traynor sat at the kitchen table looking like he'd just lost his last friend. The impact of our mutual realization was still sinking into his overloaded brain. All that was left to decide was how we'd cope with the reality that, in one way or another, all of us were somehow related.

"God, Roger, how the hell did we get ourselves into such a god-awful mess?" he wanted me to inform him.

"Just one of those things, Joe," I tried to ease his personal guilt. "You and Jeanette have managed to keep control of your situation for years now. I'm still working on keeping my ass out of the fire. Angie and I have only been together for a little less than a month now. I'm going to have to pick your brains for strategies to keep my little corner of the world from falling down around my ears, aren't I?"

"Might be an academic conversation by the sound of things," Joe commiserated. "Hell, if we get busted, you think they'll let us share the same cell?"

"I doubt it."

I hated to burst his bubble. Joe and Jeanette were cousins, specifically first cousins. The circumstances that they'd created after the death of Jeanette's first husband might have made people think they were married, but in reality, that was still something that was outside what the law would recognize

"Besides, you're not my type anyway," I tried to joke.

But Joe Traynor had reasons to feel frightened. Where we lived, he and Jeanette weren't far enough removed from each other to be legally allowed to live together in the kind of relationship they had, any more than Angie and I were. And from the little I knew of the law, the penalties were pretty stiff. Adding minors to the equation only made things a lot worse. Hell, even I was scared, and I'm usually a born optimist...

"Dad? Can I talk to you?" my daughter pleaded as she came back in from the patio.

"Sure, Sweetheart. Joe, would you excuse us?" I set the stage for my daughter's enquires.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure. How about the living room? I'll go out and see if I can give Jeanette a hand," he excused himself. Angelina and I made or way into the living room, sitting beside each other on one of the sofas in there.

"What the hell's going on, Dad? I go out for what's supposed to be a friendly supper, and my whole fucking world comes crashing down around my ears! Jeanette's my aunt? Why didn't you or Mom ever tell me I had an aunt? And how come I had to wait until now to find out? Jeezuz, what other secrets am I going to have to tackle?"

"Sweetheart, we never told you simply because we didn't know where Jeanette had moved to, or what she'd done with her life. It was only when Joe walked through that door tonight that I put all the pieces together myself. How in the hell was I supposed to know? I haven't heard the name Traynor for over thirty years. Because I didn't know, I couldn't tell you. I'm sorry for keeping you in the dark, but I was there myself."

"So what do we do now? This whole thing is going to blow up in our faces, isn't it?"

"Angie, they say that the best defense is a strong offence. With that in mind, maybe we should all sit down and get everything out on the table. That includes the kids too. They're entitled to know the truth, and they'll be a lot better equipped to handle things if they know the whole story. Sound like an idea?"

"I don't know, Dad. Does Mr. Traynor know about us, about you and I?"

"He knows now. I figured there was no sense hiding the truth from him, so I told him. Angie, I knew Joe Traynor for a lot of years when we were growing up. With where he and Jeanette are at, it's pretty obvious that he hasn't changed much. He won't say a thing to a living soul. Trust me. I know you won't say anything either, about them or about us. So all we have to do is explain things to the kids, and pray like hell that they have the brains to keep their mouths shut. With Jerry being my nephew, he and Fancy might split up, but I'll bet they become a part of what is starting to look like a family tradition. And even if they do split up, neither one of them are malicious enough to jeopardize their own parents. From what I've learned about Jerry, he's got a strong sense of family loyalty, just like Fancy seems to."

Angie gave herself time to let my logic sink into her head, and I waited for her to get as comfortable with the knowledge as she could.

"Tell me we're going to be alright, Dad. I've waited almost twenty years to be with you, and I'm not interested in losing what we have. If things got messy, would you move to keep us together?"

"Sweetheart, I'll do anything I have to in order to keep you and Fancy safe."

"So what about the kids? What do we do about Jerry and Fancy?"

"Nothing. If they build a life together, that's fine by me. Even if they go their separate routes, it's still their choice, and we have to allow that. But something inside me says that they're a lot closer to each other than we realize. I'm ready to do whatever I can for them, and I think you'll find that Joe and Jeanette are thinking the same things."

There was another long pause as my daughter struggled to assimilate all that I'd put before her.

"I'm trusting you here, Dad, but I'll be honest. I'm about half scared out of my panties that this whole thing's gonna blow up in our faces. Shit, I thought living with what Darren dragged us through was bad enough, but now I've put my own daughter in jeopardy! What have I done?"

"Angie, have a little faith, would you? You're making a mountain out a mole hill. Just trust me on this. Okay, Sweetheart?"

I could see her attempts to accept my analysis. Now all I had to do was successfully convince myself that things really would work out. I suggested we go out to the patio and join our host and hostess.

The mood on the patio was about as much fun as having a party in a funeral home. Everyone looked like they'd just been convicted of the most heinous crimes known to mankind.

"Maybe we should have waited until you and Angelina were out here," Joe let me know, "but we told the kids about Jeanette and me. I guess we should have been more honest with Jerry from the beginning."

I took it upon myself to do whatever I had to, to return us to a mental state that precluded looking like death warmed over.

"Look," I started," we're here to enjoy ourselves. We're among friends and family. So would the rest of you please lighten up? This – problem – is a bit of a bump in the road, but it's not insurmountable. After supper, we'll all sit down and go through it. Until then, I'd like to see some happy faces. There's a lot of love in my house after a four-year hiatus, and I'll lay odds that there's just as much in this one, too. I can't speak for the rest of you, but that counts for a lot to me."

I must have hit the right nerves, because my daughter swallowed her fears and stood close beside me, the love in her heart for her old Dad percolating up through the doom-and-gloom atmosphere. Jerry and Fancy were the next to surrender to the warmth of their love as my granddaughter reached for her boyfriend's hand. It was only a minute or two later before Jeanette sat on her cousin's lap.

"So what do we do now, Roger?" Joe took our discussion to the next level.

"Same thing we've been doing all along, I guess. You and Jeanette built a life for yourselves, and it looks like it's working. Just keep living it. Angelina and I have started a new life that includes Francesca. Unless someone has a really good reason, I'm not about to change that very damned much. Jerry, you live in this home, and from what you've told me, it's been good for you. I can attest to the results from personal observation. Joe's proud of what you've become. I don't think you want to see it ruined now, do you?"

Jerry kept looking at the tabletop, but shook his head which told me that he agreed with my claim.

"And you, Fancy. You've found a guy that you love dearly. Just because he's your cousin, are you going to walk away from that?"

Just like her boyfriend, my granddaughter shook her head to let me know that she wasn't prepared to abandon her cousin, although she did grant me the courtesy of looking into my eyes while she answered.

"Okay then, about the only thing that's changed since this morning is that Jerry now knows a little more about our family's background, and Fancy knows a little more about her boyfriend. I think you two can learn to live with that. Am I right?"

"Grandpa, you're not going to ask us to split up, are you?" was Fancy's first question.

"I won't," I let her know, "but I can't speak for Joe and Jeanette. You'll have to ask them, and I suggest that you get Jerry's opinion on the whole thing while you're at it."

"I've already told you how I feel, Mr. Hamstead. Just because it turns out that Fancy's my cousin, it doesn't change how I feel," he adamantly expressed himself. In return, I could see Fancy grip his hand a little tighter in a show of solidarity between them.

"Joe? Jeanette? That only leaves you to tell us how you feel. Unless I miss my guess, Angie here feels the same way I do. Don't you, Sweetheart?" I gave her the opportunity to either agree or disagree with my position. She took the time to thoroughly weigh her decision before replying.

"Yeah, I do, Dad. My daughter's been happier in the last few weeks than she's been for years. I'm really reluctant to see that go down the drain. Baby, whatever you want, we'll support you. I love you, Francesca Marie, and all I want is for you to be happy."

"I love you too, Mom," Fancy quickly responded. "I really want to be with Jerry, if no one has any objections."

Some of that missing twinkle in her eyes came back. When she shifted her gaze to her old grandfather, her eyes got a little brighter. It was when she finally looked at Jerry with real love that I saw her light up like a Christmas tree. And in that one moment, I knew that we'd all be fine, as long as we were open and honest with each other.

"Jerry," Joe took the lead, "now that you know a little more about your mother and me, how does that affect you?"

"Dad," Jerry began to explain himself, "you've been more of a dad to me than my own father was, and I'm not about to lose Fancy just because society has some stupid rule. You and Mom have put a lot of love in this house, and that's special to me. Mr. Hamstead and Mrs. McConnell seem to have done the same thing in their house. Even Francesca will admit that she's happier now than she ever was where she moved from, and I see it in her most of the time we're together. I've even felt that same comfort around Mr. Hamstead when he confronted me about some things that happened between Fancy and me. He accepted both of us for exactly who we are, for what we'd done, and for how we feel about each other. A guy would have to be a complete asshole to screw that up. So whatever you, Mom, Mr. Hamstead, and Mrs. McConnell think is best, I'll go along with it. Anything that keeps us all together."

"The boy doesn't mince words, does he?" I made my observations known. "You should be proud of him, Jeanette."

"Thanks, Roger," my sister-in-law told me with a smile on her face. "We are. Do you think my sister would have approved of all of this?"

"Fay? Yeah, she would have," I tried to reassure her. "She was a pretty open-minded woman. A family united in harmony was always one of her top priorities. We tried to bring Angelina up that way, and I think we succeeded. By the looks of it, she brought her daughter up the same way. So, unless anyone else has something to say, how about we get our butts out of the doldrums, enjoy supper, and have some fun?"

"Just what did you have in mind for fun?" my daughter teased me quietly as the entire mood lightened. In response, I gave her a light swat on the backside. We'd finally swept away the gloom that had tried to ruin our evening.

Traynor's barbeque supper was one of the best meals I'd had for a while, although I think it was the company we kept that made the difference. Afterwards, Jerry and Fancy took charge of putting stuff away and washing all the dishes. The two seemed to work well together.

Once we'd finished, Jeanette mixed us another drink while Angelina, Joe, and I sat and talked, mostly to reminisce over our high school days. A lot of the information was for Angie's benefit. Most of it she already knew, but there were questions for which she wanted to find answers. By the time the evening was over, we all knew a lot more about each other.

It was almost eleven o'clock when Joe mentioned that as much as he'd love the evening to go on, he had to work the next morning. I gathered up the girls and started heading for the door, thanking our hosts profusely.

"Roger," Jeanette pulled me aside slightly just before I opened the door, "I wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not, but I had to find out. Thank you for coming over, and for helping us clear some things up. I miss my sister, probably as much as you do. She'd have been proud of you tonight. I know I am."

"I appreciate that, Jeanette," I let her know. "After we got married and you disappeared to the East coast, we both missed you. I just wish Fay was still here so we could all be together again. But life goes on. We were the best of friends, thirty-odd years ago. I'd really like to see us rekindle that."

"I think you will," Joe eased into the conversation, "especially if the kids are going to be seeing each other still. That's something else I'd like to talk to you about, Roger. What you mentioned earlier about Jerry and Fancy, I mean."

I knew exactly what he was referring to, although bringing up the kids giving each other their virginity in front of Jeanette didn't seem prudent. I knew Joe would eventually share what he'd been told. He and I discussing it could wait for another day. And in the meantime, I was looking forward to getting home

"I think I'm going to turn in," Fancy advised as soon as we walked in the house. "It's been a long and busy day, and I've got some things to think over. Night, Mom. Night, Grandpa," and she kissed her mother appreciatively. I expected the same kind of kiss on the cheek, but was surprised when my granddaughter wrapped an arm around my neck and pressed her lips solidly to mine, then held me there for several seconds.

"I love you, Grandpa," she murmured as she released herself. "Umm, is it really okay if Jerry and I keep seeing each other?"

"Why wouldn't it be, Princess?"

"Because he's my cousin, maybe?"

"So? I'm sleeping with my daughter, and that doesn't seem to bother you. Why would Jerry being your cousin make a difference? You love him, right? Only a blind man could miss how he feels about you. All you two have to do is keep the rest of the world from finding out about our secret. I think Joe and Jeanette will be the people to talk to about how to keep things quiet. Your mother and I could use some pointers."

"I'm worried, Dad," Angie let me know when we were alone again as I sat beside her on the sofa. "There's too many people that seem to know about us, about how we're living together, I mean. I can see our little house of cards falling down around our ears. But what really worries me is the possibilities of you and I going to jail. Who's going to look after my little girl if that happens?"

"The only people that know are Joe, Jeanette, and the kids. They're not about to spill the beans. That would leave them vulnerable, and Joe's not about to let that happen. As for Fancy, she probably knows the risks, and Jerry will definitely make sure she's aware of them. Think about it, Sweetheart. If you were in their position, you'd do everything you could to make sure your daughter's safe. We both need to have a little faith in the kids. It's not just our future at stake here, but theirs too," I reminded her.

"Yeah, you're right. Doesn't change the fact that I'm worried though. I sure hope you're right about this, Dad. Half my life feels like it's been a total screw-up. After putting Fancy through Darren's version of Hell, I'm not about to put her through any more pain and hurt if I can help it," my daughter expressed.

"Sweetheart, you need to step back and look at the bigger picture. Fancy needs us both, and I won't let anything ruin things, any more than you would. But I also need you, and you need me. My granddaughter needs the two of us to show her that same kind of legacy. We need to work together. Joe and Jeanette are a resource for us. They can teach us how they kept their secret so well."

Angelina sat back and looked deeply into my eyes as she gave herself the time to digest that information, finally acknowledging her understanding of the concept.

"Well, at least I told my daughter the truth," my daughter gave me her impression. "You are the wisest man on earth."

"Not likely, Sweetheart, but I appreciate the compliment. If I was the smartest man on earth, I'd know better than to fall in love with my own daughter, wouldn't I? But then where would we be? Hmm?"

"You mean my father is admitting that he might have made a mistake?" she teased me with a soft yet knowledgeable tone.

"Heavens no! All I'll admit to is being human. And I'll admit that I'm very much in love with you."

Angie pulled me to her lips and kissed me deeply and passionately as her answer. By the time she was ready to tell me how she felt, I'd almost forgotten the question. So just to refresh my memory, I returned her kiss with one of my own, just as deep and just as passionate.

Without a word, my daughter got to her feet, then reached back to offer me her hand in a request to accompany her. I happily accepted, knowing that I'd follow her to the ends of the earth. The look in her eyes let me know that she'd do the same thing, and for the same reasons. We were a team, a couple, a united front against the challenges of everyday life.

Laying in our bed later with Angelina curled up in her favourite position on my chest, all our concerns seemed to swim through my head. My daughter's finger, slowly circling around on my chest, told me that she couldn't sleep either. I leaned forward and kissed the crown of her head.

"You can't sleep, can you?" she enquired of me.

"No. I've got too much going on in my mind right now, Sweetheart. I've got those same worries that you have about what we're doing. Did we make a mistake, Sweetheart? Did we let our hearts overrule our heads?"

"Dad, are you saying that you'd rather we parted ways again? Because if that's the case, you're going to shatter my world and break my heart, and God only knows what it'll do to your granddaughter."

"No, Angie, I'm not saying that. I definitely want you here beside me, because I'm in love with you. Right now, I'm trying to take my own advice. I'm desperately trying to hear what my heart is telling me."

Angelina lifted her eyes to me, looking deeply into my very soul, almost searching for her own truth through me.

"What's your heart telling you, Dad? What are you hearing it say?"

There was a real note of fear in her tone, as though what she wanted to hear and what I had to say might be complete opposites. It was at that moment that my feelings came through to me, loud and clear.

"It's saying ... it's telling me that I want to be with you for the rest of my life, Sweetheart. It's saying that I'll do anything to keep you and Fancy safe, protected, and loved. Unfortunately, it's not telling me how to pull that one off. But I'll find a way, I promise you that," I gave her my vow.

"That's what your heart is telling you, Dad?" she softly asked, and seemed to know the answer without my confirmation. Before I could say a thing, she kissed me with a warmth that almost defied description. It wasn't a kiss of deep lust and passion, nor one of duty. It was soft, gentle, almost a caress, but filled with more love than I'd felt since my wife had passed away.

"Mine's telling me the same thing," she let me know. "For as long as we can, I want to be here beside you, to love you, to care for you when you need me. You may be my father, but you're also the light of my life. I love you, Roger Hamstead."

Silently we made a pact to each other, and sealed it with a kiss that threatened to burn the skin off our lips. As tightly as I held her, my daughter held me even closer.

"I want you, Angie," I murmured as we let each others lips go.

"I know, Dad. I want you too."

Now gently caressing her one exposed breast, I flicked a finger lightly and slowly over her nipple, feeling it becoming erect and rubbery for me. Angelina moaned with delight at the attention I paid her, giving me all I wanted, and offering even more. The warmth of her body seemed to permeate my very existence. And when it was time, I entered her softly like a young child searching a mysterious place, curious of its contents, but ready to face the monsters if necessary. In that same vein, Angelina took me inside herself with a warm and gentle welcoming that called to the very centre of my soul. As we continued to make love to each other, it was all about giving more pleasure than we received. I wanted so badly to feel her cum, to give her the pleasure that she so richly deserved. My own orgasm was almost inconsequential in my mind. And yet, Angelina was more interested in pleasing me than being pleasured herself. When she finally came for me, it was a long and warm orgasm, one that sent the shivers of her body into the very core of my being as we shared our ecstasy. She stayed like that until she took me over the edge, moaning and groaning at the wonder and beauty of her taking my seed. I came hard for her, showing her my love. It may have been one of the most intimate acts I've ever experienced, equaled only by the love my wife and I had shared.

Afterwards, I rolled onto my back, taking my daughter with me and laying her on my stomach while we were still joined. Despite losing my erection, I did everything I could to stay inside her, and Angie held me with her muscles clamped tight for as long as she could. I was completely soft and spent when she finally had to let me loose. And until that moment, not a single word was spoken, for the songs in our hearts were all that we needed to tell each other of our feelings.

"Dad," she finally broke the silence, "I know that I said it was alright if you wanted to make love to your granddaughter. But after that, I don't want to share you with anybody. Maybe Fancy wants to know if Jerry is her second best, but you're my very best. I know I don't have the right to tell you that you can't make love with her, but I'm asking you not to. I need to feel like I'm the only woman you want, need, and love in that special way. Am I being selfish? Is it too much to ask? Am I overstepping my bounds?"

"No, Sweetheart, it isn't selfish or too much, and you're not overstepping anything. It's the same promise I made to your mother when we got married. For thirty years, I lived that promise every day of my life, and was proud to do so. Maybe you and I can't legally marry, but the commitment between us is just as strong, and as sacred to me as the one I gave your mother. Now do you understand why I've been so reluctant to make love to Francesca? That same vow that I gave Fay is a part of what you and I have together. I love you, Angelina Danielle, and will for as long as I live."

She kissed me deeply, her tongue capturing every part of me that I had to give her, and I was held like that for several minutes. I could have stayed in that embrace for decades and it still wouldn't have been long enough.

"Fancy still wants you, you know," she murmured to me when we finally released each others lips again.

"I know, and it's going to be tough for her to let that go. But she has no choice in the matter. It's not that I don't want her, because I love her dearly, and always have. I just happen to want you more, to the point that I'll happily forsake every other woman there is. I made that same commitment to your mother, and for the same reasons, I'm making it to you now."

"Were there any other women that you wanted, besides Mom?"

"Not really, although there were a couple that seemed to want me, I think."

"Like who? Jeanette Traynor?"

"Yeah, Jeanette was one. Before your Mom and I were engaged, Jeanette came on to me quite a few times. I turned her down every time, and she seemed to get the message. I think that if I'd pursued it, your mother would have let me make love to her sister once or twice. But I couldn't do it. Cheating on your mother was something that I knew I couldn't do and live with myself afterwards. Cheating on you, even if it was with Fancy, feels just as wrong, and for the same reasons."

"If you'd had the chance after Mom died, would you have made love to Jeanette?"

"That's a question we'll never know the answer, and I'm not interested in finding out either. Your Mom and I always wondered if Jeanette disappeared because she'd been turned down and needed to get away from the memory. But she and Joe were always close, even as kids, and now that they're together again, I think she's found the happiness he wants to give her so badly. He always did, even back then. Maybe she still wonders if she settled for second best with Joe, but he's made her happy. She'd be a fool to throw all that away, and I think she knows it. I'd have been a fool to throw away everything your mother gave me, if you'd asked me to be your first and I'd gone through with it. Fancy's in the same position. Maybe Jerry's her second best, in her opinion. But she offered him every part of herself, and he took her on that basis, giving her his own pledge in return. The question may burn in her mind for the rest of whatever, but she needs to understand that she made a choice, and has to live with the consequence of that decision. It's a part of growing up."

"So if she comes to you, what are you going to do?"

"I'll tell her the same thing I just told you. She might want me, but she can't have me. Just like Jeanette couldn't have me thirty-five years ago, and can't now either. I'm yours, Sweetheart. Spoken for. The only woman that can have me is my own daughter. Fancy is just going to have to accept that."

"Dad, what if I had sex with another man? What would you do?"

"Why? You planning on having an affair?"

"No, but I'd like to know, if only for the understanding of the man I love."

"Angelina, would you be able to live with yourself if you sunk to the same level as Darren? Because that's how you'd feel about yourself if you did have an affair."

"No! Never! Shit, I'd rather kill myself than become like him!"

"Then I don't have a thing to worry about, do I? Sweetheart, if you cheated, you'd hurt yourself a lot more than you'd ever hurt me, and you damn-well know it. If I had the chance to make love to another woman and took it, would you trust me afterwards?"

"Probably not. And just for the record, I already knew that I'd never cheat on you, you old goat. I think you did too. But thanks for the reassurance. It's funny, because I always thought that what you and Mom taught me was something that everyone believed. I guess Darren's living proof that it isn't. I know how much it hurt me. I could never do that to you. But I'm going to leave it to you to teach that to Fancy. You're better at it than I am. The teaching part, I mean. You're not worth a shit at hurting people. All my life, I saw the way you treated Mom. You couldn't have hurt her the way Darren hurt us if your life depended on it. And that's another reason why I love you."

We ended that subject with another kiss, and a lot of love in our hearts that we shared, both physically and emotionally. It wasn't too much longer before I heard Angelina's soft and gentle breathing that let me know she'd finally found the sleep that had eluded us. A moment later, I found it too.

The next thing I remembered was waking up with Angelina's head still on my chest and the warmth of her arm and leg on my body. What was different was that I was hard, and there was something warm and wet sliding down the length of me. It took a moment for my fuzzy brain to comprehend, and another moment to understand what was happening.

Lifting my head revealed the sight of my granddaughter's head slowly bobbing up and down over my groin. My first reaction was to yell at her to stop. But that would wake my sleeping daughter, and probably bring on a confrontation that I had no desires to go through. Instead, I lifted my hand and grabbed a hank of Fancy's hair, holding her at the top of her stroke before she could take my cock back into her mouth.

There was almost a look of panic in her eyes as she suddenly shifted her gaze to mine. I shook my head while making it imperative for her to either release me or suffer a bald spot on her head. Without a word to her, I indicated that I wanted her to leave the room, and tried to tell her that I'd meet her downstairs at the kitchen table. She obeyed my command, albeit with noticeable reluctance. Once she'd left the room, I extricated myself from under my daughter's body, trying not to wake her. Finding her daughter sucking her grandfather's cock was not how I wanted Angie's day to start, especially after our conversation and pledge of the previous evening.