Chapter 4

So, when school started, we joined in with the other freshman class. We had taken similar, but not identical schedules, so we weren't in the same class all the time. But when we were, it was assumed that we were fraternal twins. We saw no need to correct them. Mom had warned us about showing any affection towards one another in school, which was really hard to do. It didn't take long, only a week or two before some of the other girls started to flirt with Matt. Bless his kind heart, he never appeared to notice.

"You know, Matt, Susan and Donna are flirting with you."

"No, they're just being friendly."

"No, they want to be more that just friends."

"Well, what can I do about it; I can't tell them that I already have a girl friend. Besides isn't that why we are here to begin with. Maybe I'll ask one of them out on a date."

"You do that and you will have a bigger problem on your hands than some flirty girls."

"Well, I can't help if I'm so irresistible. What do you think I should do?"

"Just continue to ignore them; just be friendly; but not too friendly."

"And what happens when the guys start to hit on you."

"I can handle myself; besides I already have my guy."

A couple of weeks later I had my first encounter with a guy from one of my classes. He approached me after school, while I was at my locker, waiting for Matt to arrive.

"Hi, how are ya doing, he said, I'm Derrick. We're in the same history class. I was wondering; you doing anything Friday night? Maybe we can go to a movie or something."

I panicked. He was a good looking guy. The whole situation took me completely by surprise. I was just about to answer yes, when Matt walked over and asked if I was ready to go. Relieved, I turned back to Derrick and said, "No; but maybe some other time; I've got to go."

When we got outside of the building, Matt turned to me and asked, "Who was that guy?"

"Just a kid from my history class."

"He asked you out, didn't he?"

"Yes, but I told him no."

"What you did was postpone it; now he's just going to ask again."

"I know, but I was taken by surprise; and he was so good looking..."

"Do you want to go out with him?" Matt asked with a dejected look on his face.

"No, Yes, No, I'm so confused. This is going to be so much harder than I thought it would be."

"Well then, I guess you'll just have to say yes. It's the only way we'll ever know if we were wrong all along. And maybe, I'll just see if Donna or Susan is available Friday night as well."

With that he, picked up the pace and headed home alone. At that, my life just seemed to fall apart. It seemed that after only a month at school, I had lost Matt forever. When I got home, I tried to hide my face from mom as I walked around the front desk. As I got to the staircase, I heard mom's voice.

"Kristin, come with me."

We walked into the boxing room and sat on the ring apron. That's when I broke down and cried.

"Mom, I'm so confused. I think I lost him today. A guy tried to ask me out and I would have said yes if Matt hadn't gotten there when he did. Instead, I just said I wasn't available Friday night. I hurt Matt, something I never wanted to do and he said he might ask one of the girls in class for a date. Maybe you guys were right, maybe this was never meant to be."

"Honey, I know you're confused, that's normal, it's part of growing up. Not all the answers are cut and dry; and some are not what we want to hear. All I can tell you is that you have to do what feels right for you, now. If you and Matt are meant to be together, it will happen, if not, you can't sit back and watch life pass you by. Go out with this guy, but don't rush things, let them happen at their own pace. Now get upstairs, do your homework. We'll work out after supper.

School life changed for both of us that day. We both decided that seeing other people was best for us both. Matt was still my best friend. We even double dated. We acted as councilors for each other, talking about our problems, telling each other how our dates went, even asking for advice. Matt was always going out on dates, he was very popular. Some of my girl friends even asked me to put in a good word for them with him. I just couldn't bring myself to do that. In the back of my mind I think I still wanted him for myself and was a little jealous of them. I, on the other hand, seldom went on more than one or two dates with a guy, before they either lost interest in me or I dumped them because they were jerks. I was quickly getting the reputation of someone who didn't put out. I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, on the contrary, I liked being free and independent. I went out with my friends or stayed home and worked out.