Chapter 1: This is life

Loneliness
A bleak landscape stretches before my eyes
Empty of all but darkness
Drained of light
Never to be
Full of happiness
Never to know
The light of love
Just rejection, pain
Hurts more, grows numb
Till nothing matters
Dead, the living dead
To feel nothing
To hurt so much that feels nothing at all
To feel so much that grow numb
To welcome the nothingness of sleep
So that pain will stop
To remember that which wishes forget
To live, but live a lie
To live for other people
To cry till drained of tears
And to die alone
Surrounded by people
None care
This is life

Chapter 2: To my brother

When do you wake?
From the world you live inside
When do you sleep?
If the light causes you to hide
Nights inside your head
Do you have the power to leave this life behind?
Days out of your head
Does it really give you what you need to find?

Where do you run?
From this thing inside of you
Where do you hide?
If it's deep inside of you
And do you know
Than only when you look for light
Will it find you
And only in the darkest night
Can it blind you
To yourself

Nights inside your head
Hiding from the things you want to flee
Days out of your head
Don't you know you'll never leave?

Chapter 3: On death

I still don't believe you're gone
I'm thinking it's all just a dream gone wrong
And I'll wake up tomorrow
And call you tomorrow
And you'll be fine
Won't you?

And if I sit here and cry
Tonight
Tomorrow you'll be here again
And I'll hear your voice again
Won't I?

I'll never see your face again
And when I wake tomorrow you'll still be dead
And I miss you so much I can't sleep
I can't think
And all I feel is emptiness

Chapter 4: A letter to Noor

Did you really think it was that bad
That no one would help you
Did you not think that I would understand?
Could you not talk for fear of sounding weak
You who had always been so strong
You were my lifeline
My escape from the insanity
You were the one who was always there
The one who could make this make sense
And yet you cannot help me no
I would have followed you anywhere
And now you have gone where I cannot follow
And you just didn't know
I would have done anything for you
If you had asked it of me
But you didn't ask
You were always the one who could see the right way for me
And yet
When it came to yourself
You blinded your eyes to your weakness
Until it all came crashing down around your head
And now you are gone
I miss you more than you can imagine
You understood so much
And now you're gone it's all meaningless
Now that I need you most

Chapter 5: To my ex

If I say it's over
Will that make it true?
If I say a thousand words
Will it make it real for you?
And when you finally understand
The things I say
Will you hate me when it's over
And it's time to walk away?

If I say I'm leaving
Will you cry and turn away
Can't you understand
That it needs to be this way
I need to escape
Cos I'm dying inside
Every time I look at you
And see death is in your eyes

And is it now
Or was it then
I can't see the truth your words are covering
Or is it true
And can you say
That you need me more to stay than walk away

Chapter 6: To my father, the letter I couldn't send