43 Years in Hiding
Copyright© 2012 by JPM
Chapter 1
Enlightenment.
Fear.
Confusion.
Pain.
Sorrow.
North Tonawanda, NY 1969?
I like to imagine that she spoke to her mother. Or another authority figure who took compassion to a level of releasing all of her inner demons; calming all of her fears.
The year was 1969. We were both 10 years old. I was a clueless, happy go lucky boy, whose world would shatter with his parents divorce within the year.
She was a little girl whose eyes and body language revealed more pain during our 5 minutes than I would ever want to know in a lifetime. And yet she was bewildered by my reaction as she lay in the large hole she was in.
I cannot remember any of their names. 43 years hiding inside my locked, dark place.
I need to stop here in my writing as the tears and sobs are blurring my vision and ability to breathe.
I look at children, big and small, and my inner soul prays that they are safe and happy and not hiding any demons from their parents and friends.
I cry inside when I see reports in the newspaper, or posted on an online news web page. A little boy or girl gone missing. A report of a stalker or some monster who has stolen the innocense of a child. Whether it be a man or woman; I want to scream at them to leave those children alone.
My innocense was stolen at age 10 in a 5 minute rape forced on me (and her, their 10 year old sister) during which there was no actual penetration. Hell, 10 years old I doubt I was an inch long as horrified and scared as I was. Screaming at her brothers to let me go as I had no idea why they were removing my shorts and underwear; trying to lay me on top of their naked sister.
Tears once more. I need to pause and blow my nose now.
I actually consider myself lucky. Though I hid my demons and pain and fear and never told anyone what happened. A summer/fall day 43 years ago.
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