Chapter 29

Bralan had felt a feeling of trepidation when Jorgarn had stepped forward. She worried for Eslada's safety and for her claim. She knew Eslada would be no match for Jorgarn. No one would, she figured. But she knew Jorgarn would never harm Eslada.

Then she saw he never moved. He didn't raise his arms to protect himself. He didn't even take a step backward. He stood there, eyes forward, no expression on his face. She had expected him to flick Eslada's staff way as if it were a twig, then win the duel as gently as possible. But he hadn't even tried to defend himself.

Bralan saw the blood. Her first thought was that her claim had been validated. Only when Jorgarn toppled to the ground did that thought vanish. Jorgarn was impervious. She knew he was human but she didn't think he could truly be harmed.

She raced forward, her friends in her wake, until she stood with the small crowd that huddled around the fallen figure. She saw Rayna coming toward them, a look of anger on her face. Only the hands of her friends on her shoulders kept her from racing forward and attacking the woman.

Blood flowed freely from the wound on Jorgarn's head, pooling on the ground where he lay. The medic was kneeling before him, trying to daub the blood away so she could inspect the wound.

"It is large but it is not deep," she said. "I don't believe his skull is fractured. I will have to stop the bleeding before I can say for certain. I don't think there will be any permanent damage to his mind."

There was a general gasp and Eslada broke down in tears. She fell on the ground beside Jorgarn and clutched him tightly. Bralan put her hand on Eslada's quavering shoulder and looked down at Jorgarn.

"We need to get him to the infirmary," Alite said quietly. Several sets of strong hands lifted Jorgarn by his arms and legs and started off for the closest entrance to the castle.

Denae wandered back the castle as if in a stupor. She did not understand Jorgarn's actions. She had not understood them in the past weeks but today's had left her even more confused.

She knew she probably would be unwelcome in the infirmary so she went to her father's study where she reflected on the previous weeks. It took her only a moment to pinpoint the cause – the friction between Jorgarn and Rayna.

She had always known the cause and she thought she had done all she could to lessen it. But for some reason, one or the other would not allow it. They had expected her to choose. It was a choice she couldn't make. She simply couldn't choose between her best friend and the man she wanted to marry.

Did she love Jorgarn? He had pulled away from her in the previous weeks. She felt he had pulled back from her as soon as she told him of her plans to marry him. Perhaps that was the cause of this. He had pushed her to the precipice because he did not want to marry her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the entrance of her father, who sat wearily and looked at her. There was a pained expression on his face.

"How did this happen?" Denae asked sadly, tears in her eyes.

"You know how this happened," Landor said. Part of his heart hated to see her in such anguish but another part was furious that she had allowed things to reach this point.

Anger flicked across Denae's eyes.

"Yes, I know how it happened," she said. "I suppose I meant, why would Jorgarn do that? Why would he just stand there? He didn't even raise his staff. His only defense was to shift his head backward slightly. He didn't even try to win."

"You did not expect him to try to win, did you?" he asked. "You did not expect him to give Rayna an acquittal, did you? He took the only option you left him to ensure Emertland survives the whim of that stupid girl you employ. You forced him into his action by demanding to accept responsibility for this lunacy. It is his job to protect you. He would not allow harm to come to you. He could not. It is not his nature. But he could not allow Rayna to win her claim, either. He had to defend your safety but he had to lose the battle. If Eslada had injured you, he would have been forced to seek to injure her. You put this into motion. When you allowed Rayna to dictate your decisions, to limit your options, you closed the door to Jorgarn's actions. He lies in the infirmary, still unconscious, because you put him there. You put him there when you refused to stop Rayna from acting indiscriminately."

Denae closed her eyes.

"I can't feel him," she said feebly.

"This surprises you?" Landor asked. "He told Torbert that his link to you was weakening. He seemed to think it was his fault. That he had acted rashly in accepting the Knighthood despite his misgivings. He believed he allowed others to talk him into something he knew was wrong. Do you think you chose badly?"

Denae considered her answer despite the anger that flitted across her father's face.

"I might have," she said. "I am not certain if I chose wisely nor not. I wished I had considered longer and I wish that I had taken his reservations into account instead of trying to convince him to see my point of view."

"That was perhaps the only mistake you didn't make in the past months," Landor said angrily. "He would never have accepted the Knighthood if you hadn't been forceful."

"Hah!" Denae said. "I have tried forceful in recent weeks. It has not gone well."

"You tried to order and command," Landor corrected. "You are too young to understand subtlety. Jorgarn gave in the first time because he thought it might be the right thing to do. You have commanded him this time to do something he knows is wrong. You have gormlessly followed the directions of Rayna. She gave you pointers, thinking you would be able to control him. I believe you have found that he is not willing to fall for that. I think Rayna has found that Pernice is also above such actions. Now, why do you think you no longer sense him?"

"I don't know," she said. "Even with the connection closed, I can still sense him. I didn't really realize it until it was gone. Now, I can't feel him at all. You don't think that means..."

Her voice trailed off.

"It might," Landor said sadly. "Eslada wanted to shatter her staff and perhaps scratch him with the remains. She swung so hard because she never expected him to stand there. She expected him to lift his staff in defense. He must not have expected such an attack."

"He told me she would attack that way," Denae said. "He knew that she would either go head high overhand or sweep my legs crosswise. She would have broken my arms if I had to face that attack. But I never wanted him hurt."

"Perhaps not," Landor said. "But it is done. You must accept that your actions, coupled with Rayna's and Jorgarn's actions, have produced this result. We can only move forward, not backward. Now, the Reprisal has been decided. You have 10 days to comply with its stipulations."

Denae sat still in her chair.

"And if I do not?" she said.

Landor squared his shoulders.

"I will be compelled to remove you as Heir if you fail to comply with a lawful directive from the Tribunal," he said sadly. "I do not wish that but there is precedence. Before you speak, Jorgarn was not required to offer a defense. Torbert looked into that as soon as Jorgarn was safely in the infirmary. The finding of the Reprisal will be upheld. You might gain an additional few days but that is all. I doubt you will even gain that. Rayna can remain on your staff. That was not part of the decree. But she cannot be lead attendant. Who you choose for that is up to you. It is forbidden to her always. If you choose to ignore the ruling, I will not oppose you. But Rayna will not have influence in the palace again."

He looked at his daughter who was sitting in front him looking mutinous.

"You have only yourself to blame for this," he said sharply. "At any time in the past months – past years, honestly – you could have stood up for yourself. You could have stopped this. But you allowed her to manipulate you and to direct you to places you knew you should not go. Now you have decided that her way is the best way. I want you to consider something, with an open mind. Can you do that?"

Denae nodded.

"In the past years has Rayna asked you to do something that did not hold a direct benefit to her?" Landor wondered. "From gaining a pardon for her brother to gaining a promotion for her mother to seeking to gain a better post for the man she wanted to marry, all her directives to you benefitted her. She used you to gain things for her benefit. Even now she seeks to surround herself with people who will not oppose her. She presents you candidates unworthy of your staff not because she thinks them to be practical. She presents them because she knows she can control them – like she controls you. Can you realize that now? Will you reflect on that before you finalize your decision? Can you be objective enough to think of that without emotion? Can you stand alone to reflect on the past – and the future – without the influence of those who seek to make the choice for you?"

Denae left the study and once again tried to sense Jorgarn, to see if he was OK. She felt nothing and again, a feeling of dread settled over her. It was possible that he had suffered so great a head wound that his mind might be addled.

Already it had been five hours and he had not awoken. She absently walked down the corridor until she found herself only a few feet from the infirmary. It had been months since she had been within such proximity to her Knight without knowing for certain he was nearby.

But now she felt nothing, just a cold emptiness where once Jorgarn's presence had been. She jumped when Torbert exited the room, looking sad.

"Is he well?" Denae asked tentatively. She wasn't certain she wanted the answer and she wasn't certain her uncle would even speak to her.

"They don't know," Torbert said as he stopped beside her. "You might know better than any of us, really."

Denae looked at the floor but shook her head.

"I could feel him, generally, up until the staff hit him," she answered. "He, he spoke to me across the connection just before it landed. He told me I put him in the middle of this and that this was the only way out for me. Nothing since then. I mean nothing, Uncle Torbert. I can't even tell he is alive. It is though he is a hundred miles away from me."

"He told me that the link was weakening even before this happened," Torbert replied. "I believe it is not a product of his injury. I believe he will make a full recovery. Alite, the medic who is with him, said the wound was not deep. I have seen head wounds before and they always bleed like that."

"So you think our connection will return?" Denae asked hopefully.

Torbert sighed deeply. The corridor leading to the infirmary was not the place for this conversation, nor did he think this was the time for it. Nonetheless, he spoke.

"I don't know," he replied. "The link has been lost before, according to what I've read. Queen Nese attempted to have her Knight assassinated and he never felt her presence again. The same was true of the Queen who sought to divorce her Knight."

"But I haven't done either of those things!" Denae cried. "I didn't want him harmed and I don't want him to leave me."

The last statement caught even Denae by surprise.

"The only other case that springs to mind is King Lesic and his Knight," Torbert told her as he put her hand gently on her shoulder. She was, after all, the daughter of his brother and he loved her – even if there were times he didn't really like her. "His Knight advised him against an attack the King was planning but Lesic went ahead anyway. The real purpose was not to gain land or goods but rid himself of a rival in hope of wedding the man's wife. The link was lost from the moment the Knight learned of the King's rationale and it never returned. It is more a matter of trust, I think. It took a great deal of it even before we knew of the full scope. I believe it takes even more trust between you and Jorgarn because it is so strong, because you have shared so much over it. I sincerely doubt the link will return unless the trust does. Even if it does, I doubt it will ever be a strong as it once was. He believed in you, Denae. Even if the connection returns, I think there always will be a lingering doubt in his mind – enough doubt that it will prevent him from allowing you access to his thoughts again. No one who has lost my confidence has ever gained it back fully again and word of your escapades during his time away from the castle has reached his ears."

Torbert felt badly at the tears he saw on his niece's cheeks but they couldn't be helped. Many had warned Denae of the path she was taking, warned her of putting her faith in the wrong person, warned her of sneaking away to get her ego salved by the smooth-talking young men of noble breeding.

She had, instead, chosen to follow the path she was on. Now all her plans might be for naught. She had already lost the respect of the Tribunal. They had not hesitated to rule against her. She had lost the respect of some of the noble families when they learned of her nighttime wanderings. She had thought she had Jorgarn to fall back on. Now she might have lost him, too.

She would say or do anything to keep that piece in play.

Her heart aching, Denae turned and walked sadly back to her chamber where she locked the door, lay down, buried her head in her pillow and cried herself to sleep.

The first thing Jorgarn noticed when he awakened was that his head hurt worse than it had in his life. He was thankful it was almost dark in the room, the only light illuminating from a shielded candle on a table across the room.

His stomach lurched when he opened his eyes and tried to focus them on the ceiling. It wasn't until he closed them and tried to cover them did he realize he couldn't move his right arm. A groan escaped his lips when he turned to see why: there was a head resting on his shoulder.