Chapter 23

“I agree. I will see what I can do to convince a certain young man to become a caretaker.”

Harry stood behind the young man watching him. Unable to keep silent any longer, Harry said, “You’re talking to a mongoose.”

“I know,” the young man answered.

“They don’t talk back,” Harry said making reference to the weird one sided conversation he’d been listening to.

“You don’t know that. In fact, she’s quite talkative,” the young man said while rising from his kneeling position to face Harry.

“It’s a mongoose,” Harry said as if explaining something to a simpleton.

“Yes, she is. She’s a very fine example of one,” the young man said. He looked over at the mongoose and said, “Run along now. I must talk to this young man for a bit.”

Harry stared at the young man wondering what kinds of drugs he was taking. When he glanced back at where the mongoose had been, he found that it had slipped back into the undergrowth.

“Allow me to introduce myself. I am William Redman Carter. Your friend, Chuck, is marrying my sister.”

“So you are Betsy’s brother,” Harry said.

People had warned him that one of her brother’s was a little different. He had assumed by the reverence in their voices that he was different in a good way rather than just a little touched in the head. Needless to say, he wasn’t impressed by someone who talked to animals and thought that they talked back to him.

“And you are Harry Mahoe, Chuck’s childhood friend.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“I think friends are important, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Harry said somewhat uncomfortable with the topic.

“Never underestimate the value of friendship. It is worth more than your weight in gold.”

“I wouldn’t put any price tag on it,” Harry said.

The past few days had not been the kind of reunion between friends that he had expected. It seemed to him that Chuck had changed a lot. He didn’t know if it was him or Chuck who had changed the most. There was a kind of ill defined tension between the two of them.

He wondered if their friendship would survive Chuck’s marriage to Betsy. He knew about a lot of friendships that slowly withered and died when one friend got married. A lot of married couples didn’t feel comfortable with a single guy hanging around with them.

“You’re very lucky that Chuck is your best friend,” William said.

“I take it that you like him.”

“I don’t really know him. At least, not as well as you do. I do know that he’s a very important person for the future of civilization,” William said.

“Future of civilization?”

“Yes.”

Harry was convinced that William was mad as a hatter. First he talked to a mongoose as if it actually was answering him. Now he was talking about his friend Chuck being important for the future of civilization. He wondered what topic was coming next.

William asked, “Do you think that the two people who have taken responsibility for leading the world into the future should be happy?”

“I suppose so,” Harry said. “Who are these two people who are going to lead the world into the future?”

“My sister and me.”

Harry nearly burst out laughing. He asked, “Don’t you think it is rather pretentious for someone to say they’ve taken responsibility for leading the world into the future?”

“Not when it is a fact.”

“Ah!” Harry said looking around to see if he could find a reasonable excuse to put some distance between him and William.

William said, “I have something important to ask of you.”

“What?”

“I want you to take charge of the islands,” William said.

Harry laughed thinking William was joking. The laughter slowly died when he saw that William wasn’t smiling.

Harry said, “There’s already a Governor running the state.”

William said, “I don’t mean that you should be running things. The islands need a spokesman for the flora and fauna. The upheavals in the economy have caused people to turn to the land as a source of food. Most of them are clueless about how to take care of it. Your people constitute almost a quarter of the population. They have a long history of living on the land. You need to organize them to teach others how to take care of the environment.”

“What about Betsy?” Harry asked.

“She’s going to be busy,” William said.

“Isn’t she supposed to be leading the world into the future?” Harry asked thinking that if she was so important then it was her job and not his.

“That’s what she’ll be busy doing. She won’t have the time to take care of the environment as well,” William said.

“Do you honestly think people will listen to me?” Harry asked.

“Yes,” William answered and then walked off.

Harry grabbed Chuck by the arm and led him down to the beach despite Chuck’s protests.

Once he was convinced that they were far enough away from the house so that they wouldn’t be overheard, he said, “Chuck, don’t marry her.”

“Why do you say that?” Chuck asked.

“She’s crazy and all of the people with her are crazy,” Harry said.

Over the past day and night, Harry had been meeting members of her family. It was a large family. He didn’t believe what he was told about them. Ed Biggers, the cowboy, was supposedly a Druid, but he didn’t act like one. Dan Biggerstaff was a computer guru of some sort. He had been told that Leroy, Betsy’s biological father, had won the Nobel Prize in Biology. Druids, computer gurus, and Nobel Prize winners didn’t reminisce about sitting on the floor playing games of Hunt the Bug-eyed Monsters with the kids. Bill had introduced himself as a garbage man and was the only one who Harry believed was telling the truth.

The women in her family were just as bad in terms of exaggerating their backgrounds. He’d been told that Kelly was a nurse who was also a Druid, Linda was a world famous author, Claire was a world champion with a rifle, and Ling was the most dangerous woman in the world. He did believe Ling was dangerous. An uneasy chill ran down his spine when he had been introduced to her.

The only one he liked was Lucy, William’s wife. She had told him she was the daughter of the owner of a hardware store in a small town in Pennsylvania. She was down to earth and dismissed William’s claim that she was a world famous mathematician.

“Betsy is not crazy.”

Harry said, “Don’t make excuses for her. I’ve been listening to all kinds of crazy stories about her and none of them are believable. She’s not in touch with reality. No one swims with Mako sharks! No one fights Russian Spetsnaz and wins. There’s no way that little lady is one of the most dangerous women in the world. Everyone says she’s rich. There’s no such thing as being rich today. Everyone is just working to get by.”

Shaking his head sadly, Chuck said, “Harry, you don’t know what you are saying. I’ve seen her swim with Mako sharks. She dove into highly chummed waters and swam next to a monster shark. I swear it was the biggest Mako I’ve ever seen. It was huge. The sharks swam with her through blood infused waters without attacking her. She was right up with them. I nearly pissed in my pants watching her.

“I’ve seen her fight. You wouldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it and I was watching her. She took care of four men without even breaking a sweat. I’m not talking about four little guys, but real soldiers who are highly trained in the martial arts. She whipped their asses, all at the same time. Not only that, they thanked her for the lesson.

“I hate to tell you this, but I’m filthy rich by today’s standards. I own partial interests in a hundred businesses. I’ve got a student from the Druid College helping me organize my businesses. I have a stockpile of cell phone minutes and food that is almost obscene.

“Betsy is even richer than I am. She’s got interests in more companies than me by an order of magnitude. We’re talking thousands of companies. She’s got five people who track all of her business interests and a student from the Druid College to help out.

“You are so wrong about her that it is almost embarrassing.”

Harry said, “I talked to her brother earlier. I’m telling you that he’s a few cards short of a full deck.”

“That’s not true. He’s the most aware person I’ve ever met. He knows things,” Chuck said.

“I found him talking to a mongoose earlier and he was acting like it was talking back,” Harry said dismissively.

“According to everyone in the family, William can talk to animals and they do answer back,” Chuck said knowing that it sounded ridiculous. “His Native American name is ‘Talks With Animals.’”

“I think he needs to lay off the old fire water,” Harry said.

“He’s a Druid.”

“I’m beginning to wonder about those Druids if they are any example.”

“I’ve met a lot of Druids. You don’t want to mess with them,” Chuck said thinking back to his time at the Druid College.

“I’m sorry, but talking to a mongoose is just a little bit weird.”

“You know Penny and her reputation,” Chuck said.

“That’s true.”

Chuck said, “Give Betsy the benefit of the doubt.”

Harry said, “I think you’re making a mistake. The wedding is tomorrow and it’s not too late to change your mind.”

“I love her,” Chuck said.

“Well, when you realize that you’ve made a mistake give me a call. I’ll help you all I can,” Harry said tiredly.

Chuck said, “We’re all going out to dinner tonight. Come with us.”

“Okay,” Harry said.

It was a rather large crowd that was seated around the table at the restaurant. It was actually four long tables pulled end to end. Betsy, Chuck, Steve, Penny, Ling, and Claire were seated with their backs to the wall such that they could watch the entire room. Harry sat at one end of the table next to Chuck so that he would have someone with whom he was comfortable talking with. William sat on the other side of Harry. Betsy’s fathers, Oliver, and Linda were seated with their backs to the rest of the room.

There were still a lot of seats open for the rest of the party to join them. Unfortunately, Betsy’s other brothers and sister hadn’t arrived at the restaurant yet. They were bringing the food that would be traded for the meal.

Five rough looking men entered the restaurant. The owner of the restaurant had been standing near the front window of the place. He had seen them chase off a car full of customers. He had heard about a small gang that was attempting to bully their way into the protection racket. He knew they had beaten a number of other businessmen into paying a weekly tribute of cell phone minutes. So far no one had been seriously injured, but he feared that situation wouldn’t last long.

“Hey, old man. You need some insurance on this place.”

“It looks like a fire could start at any minute.”

The owner held up his hands and begged, “I don’t want any trouble.”

“Good. We like to eat every day. I think you could help us out with that,” the apparent leader of the gang of thugs said.

“Don’t forget we need to make calls while we’re eating our meals,” another member of the gang said.

The owner of the place paled. He couldn’t afford to feed them every day and to give them any of the cell phone minutes people paid to eat there. The restaurant business was barely surviving as it was. If it wasn’t for the fact that the majority of his customers brought food as barter for his Chef’s excellent cooking skills, he’d have already shut the doors on the place.

The whole crowd at Betsy’s table turned to watch the drama at the front of the restaurant. It was obvious, even from across the room, what was happening.

“It’s my turn, Momma Ling.”

“Let me handle this, Betsy.”

“Aren’t you going to offer to take care of them, William?”

“Nope. I already know how it is going to turn out, Lucy. It needs to happen the way it will unfold.”

Everyone turned to stare at William. He grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

“So that’s why you insisted we come here?”

“Do you need to ask that, Daddy Ed?”

“No.”

“What about you, Penny? Do you want a piece of them?”

“I’m tired of fighting, Lucy. I’m going to let someone else take care of it, for a change.”

“I don’t blame you, Penny.”

“I could talk to them.”

“Ed, I’d like a turn.”

“Claire, you’re wearing a nice dress. I’d hate for you to mess it up.”

“You’re right, Kelly. It would be a shame to mess it up. They don’t make clothes like this any more.”

“How about we share, Momma Ling?”

“There’s only five of them, Betsy.”

“William, is there a chance that more of them will show up?”

“Sorry, Betsy. They’re it.”

“You’re getting married tomorrow.”

“It’ll help take care of my wedding jitters, Momma Linda.”

“You don’t have any wedding jitters, Betsy.”

“I could pretend to have them.”

With Betsy, her mothers, Sally, Lucy, and Penny, there were eight women present. There were Betsy’s fathers, William, Steve, Harry, Oliver, and Chuck with them thereby making nine men. Harry could not believe that the eight men were sitting around while the women were arguing which which of them would have the pleasure of dealing with the five thugs at the door of the restaurant. He looked at the other men as if they were scum.

Pulling out a pistol, Harry said, “I’ll take care of them.”

Putting a hand on Harry’s pistol, William said, “Put that away. Betsy or Ling will handle it.”

“They are women,” Harry protested.

Dan Biggerstaff said, “I know, but they enjoy it so much.”

“We’d hate to ruin their fun,” Bill said.

“You’ve got to be kidding!”

Looking over at the men harassing the owner of the place, Ling said, “I haven’t had a chance to kick ass in ages.”

“Same here,” Betsy said.

Chuck asked, “What about those five guys you fought while I was at the Druid College?”

“That was a long time ago,” Betsy said.

“Okay. I’ll let you do it.”

“Thanks, Momma Ling.”

Knowing that further argument would be a lost cause, Chuck sighed and said, “Be careful.”

“Don’t worry about me. There are just five of them.”

Harry said, “Are you kidding?”

William said, “She’ll be okay.”

Betsy skipped over to the front of the restaurant while whistling ‘It’s a Long Way to Tipperary.’ She stopped two steps away from them. She put her hands behind her back and rocked to and fro.

In a little girl voice, she said, “You’re in my way.”

Harry watched her while rubbing his forehead. He decided that she was crazy and was going to get herself killed. He started to rise from his chair to go help her. William grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Ling shook her head at him.

William said, “Watch and learn.”

“Watch what? I don’t want to watch her get hurt,” Harry asked.

“I picked this place for a reason,” William said earning a look from nearly everyone at the table.

Penny said, “I feel sorry for them. They are in for a world of hurt.”

“Are you folks crazy?” Harry asked.

The spokesman for the group of thugs said, “The restaurant is closed until further notice.”

Betsy said, “Boys, I know what you’re doing. It’s time to stop this nonsense. Take your bats and go home. The baseball game is over.”

The five thugs exchanged amused glances. Under different circumstances they would have entertained themselves with her, but they were after something a bit more serious. They were attempting to establish themselves in the protection racket. They figured with a good enough show of violence (involving breaking things with their baseball bats) that they’d intimidate all of the other businesses in the area once the word got around. They were sure that after tonight they would only have to show up and demand that the store owner pay insurance in the form of cell phone minutes and the store owner would comply.

“Go home and play with your dolls, little girl.”

All of the women at the table grimaced.

Covering her eyes, Sally said, “That was a mistake.”

Betsy gave a short cry of frustration. Stamping her foot, she said, “Why is it that every bad guy tells me to go home and play with my dolls? I never had a doll. I don’t like dolls. I’d never play with one even if I had one. Now get out of my way.”