Chapter 12

Betsy stood atop the building looking down at the people below. Several people were looking up at her, thinking that she was going to jump. She smiled, backed up a few steps, and then ran forward and off of the roof. She spread her arms and legs wide while gravity made its presence known.

The people below screamed thinking they were about to see her splatter on the sidewalk. She was only on a four story building, so it wouldn’t have been that great of a splatter, but people aren’t rational about those kinds of things. A few people turned their heads, afraid of what they were going to see. Others stared numbly, afraid of what they were going to see.

In mid-flight, she grabbed the flag pole, wrapped one arm and one leg around it, and slid down the pole to the ground below. She released the pole and continued on with her run, leaving a crowd of stunned people behind. She vaulted over a bench and ran on, as if there hadn’t been an obstacle in the way.

Ever since she had discovered Parkour, Betsy had loved it. There was something magical about moving through the environment and being at one with it. There was a sense of satisfaction at flowing over an obstacle that would have stopped almost everyone else. There was a sense of liberation from knowing how to land from a great height without injury while turning the motion into a roll that led to a full run.

For her it was as though her inner well of energy found a perfect release that blended her incredible stamina and her martial arts, with balance and grace. She could run atop buildings, on the ground, along rails, and fly through the air. Her fingers could find the smallest cracks, and with her upper body strength, she could pull herself up walls with unimaginable speed.

Of course, her sense of delight in the freedom of movement that she felt, wasn’t shared by everyone. Administrators who observed her free-fall antics and reckless disregard for walls and other barriers, could only imagine lawsuits. Every time one of them witnessed her scamper up a wall past their window, they imagined the consequences of an injury. More than one of them woke up at night suffering from nightmares.

Betsy landed in front of the building that had been her ultimate destination. She slowed to a walk, and entered the building on her way to Professor Parrish’s office.

She was almost to the door when a woman said, “Are you Betsy Carter?”

“Yes,” Betsy answered.

“This is for you. ‘You have been served, ‘“ the woman said while holding out a brown envelope for Betsy to take.

Curious, Betsy took it. Sure enough, her name was on the envelope.

She asked, “What is this?”

“That is a cease and desist order.”

“A what?”

“A cease and desist order,” the woman answered.

“What am I supposed to cease and desist doing?” Betsy asked.

“You are to stop running around campus,” the woman answered.

“You’re kidding?” Betsy asked opening the envelope.

“No. You are not to move faster than a brisk walk while on campus. You are banned from climbing walls, leaping from buildings, jumping over things, and running,” the woman said.

“Can you do that?” Betsy asked trying to read the papers while they were inside the envelope.

“We can, and we have,” the woman answered.

“Who are you?”

The woman answered, “I’m Stella Bergen, an attorney for the university.”

“Are you a good lawyer?”

“Yes.”

“I know a great lawyer,” Betsy said.

“I’m sure you do,” Stella said.

“Do you know the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?” Betsy asked looking up from the stack of papers she had pulled from the envelope.

“No,” Stella answered, hoping that she wasn’t going to tell that old joke.

“A good lawyer knows the law, and a great lawyer knows the judge,” Betsy said laughing.

Not sure if she was joking or not, Stella asked, “Is that supposed to be a joke?”

“Yes. My dad told that joke to one of the tribal lawyers. Like you, he didn’t think it was funny either,” Betsy said.

“Your father’s propensity for baiting Native American lawyers is well known,” Stella said dryly.

It didn’t take long for a Druid who routinely told lawyer jokes to lawyers, to get a reputation within legal circles. Native American lawyers had descended upon the legal system with sufficient competence to have gained a well deserved reputation as being extremely vicious in legal fights where Native American interests were at risk. The joke among them was that the only thing that scared them, was getting locked in a room with Ed Biggers for a day. Even then, they said that he probably wouldn’t have run out of lawyer jokes, and would try to keep them there for a second day.

“He’ll be glad to hear that,” Betsy said disappointed that Stella didn’t even crack a smile. She muttered, “I swear, lawyers have no sense of humor.”

She leafed through the papers and glanced over the various provisions within them. The list of things she wasn’t allowed to do was pretty extensive. There were official looking signatures in all of the right places. She couldn’t believe a judge would actually sign something like that.

Shaking her head, she said, “It really does say here that I’m not allowed to climb walls, leap from buildings, jump over things, run, get on the roof of a building, or otherwise engage in activities that might be considered dangerous.”

“That’s just what I told you,” Stella said.

Upset, Betsy said, “That’s no good at all.”

“What do you mean?”

“How am I supposed to burn off energy?” Betsy asked.

“You should go to the gym like a normal person,” Stella said.

“I don’t like the gym on campus. All of the guys stare at my butt. Can I ride a bicycle?”

“Will you keep both wheels on the ground and go at a reasonable pace?”

“Probably not,” Betsy answered absently while reading the rest of the papers.

“Then you can’t ride a bicycle.”

Thinking that she would have to fight this, Betsy said, “I’m going to have to think about this.”

“There’s nothing to think about. Just stop running around,” Stella said.

“Why are you doing this?”

“To avoid a lawsuit,” Stella answered.

Betsy said, “I get it. If I’m running and trip, then I can’t sue you.”

“That’s right.”

“How about if I’m walking and trip?” Betsy asked.

“It depends on what you’re doing when you’re walking,” Stella answered afraid that she was about to get drawn into a game of twenty questions, while Betsy searched for loopholes.

“How about if I’m chewing gum?” Betsy asked.

“Don’t chew gum,” Stella said realizing that she should have seen that one coming.

“Can I climb a ladder to change a light bulb?”

“No. You’re supposed to call maintenance.”

“So if I trip in the dark, while waiting for the guy from maintenance to change the light bulb, then I can sue?” Betsy asked.

Feeling a headache coming on, Stella rubbed her head. She said, “I now understand why the Native American lawyers fear your father.”

Betsy held up the sheets of paper and waved them around.

She declared, “Well, Stella, you can try to legislate absolute safety, but that doesn’t make the world a safe place. The world is inherently dangerous. There are lions, tigers, and bears out there. There are cracks in the sidewalks, meteors from the sky, cars that go out of control, and lightening bolts that strike people. Every day, people trip and fall while walking. It happens and you can’t prevent it by giving everyone who walks a cease and desist order. The world doesn’t work that way. For me to engage in Parkour poses no greater danger to me than walking down the hall in your high heels poses for you. I could even argue that it poses less danger for me.”

“Be that as it may, you have been asked to cease and desist from dangerous activities,” Stella said.

“This sucks,” Betsy said.

“I’ll be going back to my office,” Stella said.

“One last question.”

“What?” Stella asked letting her irritation show in her voice.

“How did you get chosen for this task?”

“I’m the newest attorney on staff.”

Betsy said, “It’s tough being the low man on the totem pole, isn’t it?”

“Low woman.”

“Oh, you’re one of those,” Betsy said dismissively.

“One of those what?”

“One of those folk who thinks that sayings that are a hundred years old have to be changed to be gender neutral.”

“Yes, I’m one of those.”

Betsy said, “Then you should have said ‘low man or woman’ to be more correct. Even better, let’s not leave the hermaphrodites out. That would make it, low man and/or woman.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Stella said.

“Hey, I serve the Two-Sided One. It’s not ridiculous,” Betsy said.

“I’m leaving.”

“Bye ... Have a nice day ... Safe journey ... Don’t trip in your high heels,” Betsy shouted after her.

Walking angrily, Stella rounded the corner and tripped on her high heels. Angered at tripping, she walked back to her office doing her best to keep her weight off of her twisted ankle.

“Betsy.”

Betsy turned around to find Professor Parrish standing behind her.

“What?”

“I trust you to swim with sharks without getting injured. I’ve seen you in the midst of a feeding frenzy with sharks. I don’t trust others in a similar situation to fare as well as you.”

“Of course not,” Betsy said.

“I trust you to be able to leap off a building, grab a flag pole, and land running,” Professor Parrish said.

“You saw that?”

“Yes, I did. It was quite an impressive maneuver.”

“Thank you.”

“The point is that anyone else who tries that stunt without proper training will end up with broken legs, at the least.”

“Probably. Anyone who does that without proper training is an idiot.”

“I agree one hundred percent with you. They would be an idiot.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that the idiots have you as a role model, making them think that they can do it. So they will do it, and they will break their legs while doing it. Then they will sue the school,” Professor Parrish said.

“Oh,” Betsy said.

“Exactly. Oh.”

Betsy said, “That’s not fair. Parkour is just part of me.”

“We have signs up all over campus stating that skateboarding and rollerblading are prohibited. Those signs are not there to prevent people who know how to do that from doing it, but to prevent people who push themselves well beyond their competence level from doing it here. To tell the truth, if they didn’t have those signs up, I’d be rollerblading from the parking lot to my office.”

“I get it. Why didn’t she put it like that?”

“Because she’s an administrative bureaucrat. They think that dictating a policy, and citing the authority who established the policy, is sufficient explanation for why the policy exists. You are supposed to obey without questioning it. It’s a strange mindset that one has to get used to dealing with, if you’re to succeed in organizations of any size.”