Betsy Carter - Cover

Betsy Carter

Copyright© 2012 by Lazlo Zalezac

Chapter 1

The desert stretches from horizon to horizon, existing in both time and space. One man gazes upon it and sees paradise. Another man gazes upon the same scene and only sees desolation. One desert, two men, and three entirely different worlds.

It is not a mystery why people argue and bicker over nearly everything. If two people can’t agree on something as vast and as timeless as a desert, why should it be a surprise if they can’t agree on much of anything? The variations in preferences of even the simplest of things, can appear too numerous to count: coffee black, coffee with sugar, coffee with two sugars, coffee with cream, and coffee with cream and sugar; and let us not forget the flavored syrups that can be added to the coffee.

Six billion people, and six billion worlds. Any pair of worlds can be nearly identical, or vastly different. A person points to a great truth in his or her world, only to find another declaring it to be false in his or her world. There is a God in my world because I can see him at work. There is no God in your world because random chance rules in it. Another tries to force others to accept his world as the one true world, because he knows that there is no other world than his.

We can not see or experience another’s world, because our knowledge of the other world is sensed only through the filters of our own world. Six blind men experiencing different parts of an elephant describe it as a rope, a spear, a tree, a snake, a wall, or a fan without ever agreeing on which description is correct.

“Ah,” someone shouts, thinking of a loop hole. “Have the blind men experience more of the elephant until they all agree that it is a rope, a spear, a tree, a snake, a wall, and a fan.”

But this does not address the tiger, the walrus, the fish, the stream, the bridge, the tree, the car ... well, the list is endless while time is finite.

As vast as the differences in worlds might be, there are always more points of agreement than difference. Yet commonalities are not as significant as differences. There are no arguments about things people agree upon. Two blind men who experience the elephant as a rope, will reaffirm each other’s beliefs until they experience the tiger. One experiences a snake, while the other experiences sharp knives. From that point on, they will argue over the tiger and forget their shared view of the elephant.

Conflict and war are inevitable when worlds collide.


“I didn’t expect to see you,” Betsy said sounding surprised, rather than awed.

Seated naked on the ground, the ever obese woman laughed heartily. Her fat shook with each guffaw like a huge bowl of jello. Her pendulous breasts swung to and fro. She slapped her thigh creating waves that rippled across her pale skin.

Not knowing what else to do, Betsy took the time to contemplate the surroundings. She was in the middle of a lush green meadow with a clear blue sky above. There were thousands of Monarch butterflies swarming around the edges of the meadow. They were so thick, that they nearly blocked the trees from view. Dragonflies of a variety of colors flew past, their stiff chitinous wings making a characteristic rattle. Despite recognizing everything around her, it felt like no place on earth. It was too beautiful. It was too tranquil. It was too perfect.

Betsy knelt down and ran a hand over the grass. The carpet of thin bladed grass was the softest thing she had ever felt. She took her shoes off, and walked around enjoying the feel of it beneath her bare feet.

“Wow! That’s great grass.”

Still chuckling, the fat woman said, “I’m glad you like it.”

“Have I been looking at the wrong month on the calendar?” Betsy asked obviously puzzled. “I didn’t realize it was midsummer or midwinter.”

“It is neither of those days.”

“That’s good. I thought I was losing it there, for a minute,” Betsy said wiping her brow in relief.

The fat woman snorted in laughter. She wiped her eyes.

“You have rendered a great service to us, and you should know that we appreciate it.”

“Thank you for your ‘thank you’,” Betsy said. “Uh ... what did I do?”

“You saved the lives of two individuals who will become Druids, in the course of time.”

“Oh, that.” Betsy waved her hand dismissively. Then, shaking her index finger at the fat woman, she added, “You might want to watch that little girl once she’s born. She’s been touched by ... oh, yeah ... by you ... Uh ... I guess you already know about her.”

Chuckling, the fat woman said, “Yes. You also saved a number of people who will play important roles in shaping the future.”

“I just did what I could,” Betsy said.

“You were the only one who could do it.”

“Modesty would dictate that I deny that, but it’s probably true. There aren’t any others like me,” Betsy said.

“There’s a reason for that.”

“What reason?”

“You were a wish we shaped, and let loose in the world. We hoped that you would do what you’ve done. You’ve done well, little one,” the fat woman said.

“Thank you,” Betsy said, but looked a little puzzled at the description of her as ‘a wish’ they shaped.

“You have a question?”

“Why didn’t you just take care of it yourself?”

“William can answer that question as well as I, but I will not answer you.”

“Why not?”

“It will undo all that you’ve done.”

“Then I suppose it is best that you don’t tell me,” Betsy said.

“I agree, which is why I won’t answer your question.”

Looking a little disappointed, Betsy said, “You’re not like I expected you to be.”

Amused, the fat woman asked, “What did you expect?”

“Everyone says you’re the most frightening of the Gods and Goddesses. I kind of expected to be standing here with the feeling that thousands of ants were crawling on my skin.”

“Like this?” the Two-Sided One asked.

Every square inch of Betsy’s skin started to tingle and burn. The sensation was exactly like a thousand ants were crawling on her. This was absolutely the worst thing she had ever felt. She stood there shivering with her hair standing on end.

Finding it hard to speak, she stuttered, “Y ... yes.”

The sensation stopped and Betsy sighed in relief.

The fat woman said, “That’s not very pleasant, is it?”

“No, it’s not.”

“I am the terrifying specter who haunts the blackest, darkest nightmares,” the fat woman said while turning into the grim figure of death.

“I am the angel who chases away the darkness with light,” the grim shade said, while changing into an angelic figure of glowing light.

“I am the cheerful fat woman with rosy cheeks and cookies on a nice fall day, who warms the heart of all who sit by her hearth,” the angel said turning into a fat woman.

“I am the jolly fat man who tells stories that brings joy to young and old alike,” the woman said while turning into a fat man.

“I embody the mysteries of male and female,” the fat man said turning into a young woman joined with a young man.

The young couple turned into the fat woman. She said, “I am the manifestation of all possibilities the mind can create.”

Impressed, Betsy said, “Wow! Now, that’s what I was expecting.”

The fat woman burst out in laughter. She rolled on the ground, unable to contain her mirth.

Gasping, she said, “You are funnier than your brother!”

“I hope that’s good,” Betsy said.

“It is very good,” the Two-Sided One said. “We’d like to reward you with the one thing you really want.”

“A man?” Betsy asked hopefully.

The Two-Sided One said, “You want a lot more than just a man in your life.”

“It would be a start.”

“It would be a bad start,” the Two-Sided One said.

“I’m kind of disappointed to learn that.”

“Your disappointment won’t last long.”

“Am I going to become a Druid?”

“No.”

“A bard?”

“No.”

“Oh,” Betsy said. “What will I become when I enter your service?”

The fat woman said, “Come suckle on my breast and I shall tell you.”

Betsy looked at her and thought about it for a second. It was kind of a strange request, but this was a God and Goddess in one. She shrugged her shoulders and went over to the fat woman.

“I might not do this right,” Betsy said, “but I’ll do my best.”

“Please do,” the fat woman said with a wry grin.

Betsy put her mouth to the woman’s breast and sucked. A warm sensation flowed over her. It was like being caressed by a soft gentle breeze, cocooned within warm sunlight, and supported by water. She felt safe and loved.

The woman started singing a lullaby, “Baloo balilli, Baloo balilli, Baloo balilli, Baloo ba. Ging awa peerie fairies, Fae my peerie bairn...”

Betsy fell asleep sucking on the woman’s breast.


Betsy slowly awoke, feeling as if she’d had a full night’s sleep. She was lying under a tree and looking up at the dark branches above. She had no idea of what time it was, but it was clearly night. She decided that not too much time had passed since entering the meadow. She could hear the sounds of people working at the crash site.

She sat up and looked around expecting to find Cal nearby. There was no sign of him. She wondered what had happened to him. She guessed he had run off the second she had disappeared. She figured he would turn up sooner or later. He wasn’t the kind of person who could actually make it on his own in the woods. His fears would drive him back to the crash site.

She looked down to see if she was wearing the medallion of a Druid. She wasn’t. She checked to see if she was wearing the bracelet of a bard. She wasn’t.

She noticed that she had a gold torque on her upper arm.

“Cool,” she said. “I look like some kind of Barbarian Barbie with this.”

She swore that she could hear laughter.

She got up and walked towards the crash site, following the noise rather than trusting her memory. It wasn’t very far from where she had awakened. She had thought she had walked further than that.

She stopped beside one of the trees, and watched the activity taking place. People were gathered around one side of the plane, talking and pointing. Others were trying to undo the tangle of seats that she had put in place. It looked like they hadn’t made any progress on that effort.

A new fire pit had been built where it wasn’t directly next to the plane. It was obvious to her that it had been moved, so that it wouldn’t be in the way of those working on wreckage. There were still traces of the old fire pit.

Her parents were seated around the fire talking with Millie, Melvin, Jimmy, John, Jake, and Ben. It looked like Ling and Millie were having a pretty good conversation. It was strange, but she never had thought of Ling as being much of a conversationalist. Ed and Kelly were talking with the other four men. Jimmy was poking a stick in the fire.

She spotted an ice chest that was sitting near the group. Based on the fact that everyone was holding a soda, she assumed that it contained iced drinks. She realized that she was very thirsty.

She headed towards the cooler and looked inside. There was a lot of ice with cans of soda partially buried within the ice. There was a pretty good selection of soda. She grabbed one, not particularly caring what kind it was, and opened it.

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