Chapter 9: So Close to Perfection

We had picked up the engagement ring the day before Thanksgiving and Nicole couldn't stop looking at it. She would fidget with it, turning it back and forth with her thumb. This was all new to her, never having been engaged before. I got a clap on the shoulder from Angus when he saw it, a clear indication we had chosen well.

We had asked my parents to come early on Thursday afternoon. Dinner would be served at five o'clock and I wanted them to have time to get to know the Carlisle family. They arrived bearing gifts, as I guessed they might. Dad had a bottle of very nice white wine, while mother brought a floral arrangement that Mary immediately put in the center of the dining room table.

"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet Mary and Angus Carlisle. Mary, Angus, meet Pauline and Thomas Travers, my parents. And, this is Nicole and her son, Jimmy," I stumbled, trying to get the introductions done gracefully.

My parents are pretty laid-back and I was reasonably confident that they would get along well with Mary and Angus and I was right. There was every sign that they had a lot in common, not the least of which was the happiness of Nicole and me. My parents, devoid of grandchildren, made a fuss over Jimmy and he reveled in it. I wondered if he might be a bit shy with the new people and all the fuss being made about his mother and me, but he watched and listened and some time later when I looked, I saw him sitting beside my father and talking to him.

My dad is an illustrator for magazines and other publications. At one point he was the editorial cartoonist for the Post, but when they decided to eliminate the position and run syndicated cartoons, he was out of a job. His severance bridged him until he could re-establish himself in the commercial world and now he's doing fine, working from home and making a good living. I'm not sure quite how Mom feels about him being there so much of the time, but I don't see any sign that it isn't working.

Jimmy disappeared briefly, returning with a notebook and a pencil, handing it to my father. I knew what was coming. Jimmy sat wordlessly as he watched my father create something with pencil and paper. I saw him look up at my dad once in a while, but not so long that he wouldn't return immediately to whatever he was drawing for the boy. When he was satisfied, he handed the notebook to Jimmy.

The youngster smiled and raced to his mother. "Look Mom, look!" he exclaimed. "It's you, Mom, it's you."

"Oh, Jimmy, that's wonderful. Thank you, Thomas," she said, genuinely pleased.

"Can I keep it, Mom? Can I?"

"You'll have to ask Grampa Travers," she said.

"Of course you can, Jimmy. I did it for you," my father said quickly.

"Gee, thanks. I never had a picture of my mom before. Thanks, Grampa," he said, his eyes still fixed on the drawing.

At that moment I found I had something in my eye, and as I glanced around the room I found I wasn't alone. It was one of those magic moments you couldn't create. They just happened.

Later, when the feast was over, we were sitting in the living room fighting off the effects of tryptophan with coffee. Jimmy had gone off somewhere to play, now bored with the adults. It was quiet for a few moments before my father spoke.

"I had a conversation with Jimmy this afternoon. I found I had to keep looking at him to make sure he was only six years old. We talked about a lot of things, but the ones that made me stop and think centered around the idea that for the first time in his life, he was going to have a dad. And for the first time in my life, I was going to have a grandson."

The room went silent at that. I could see the look on my mother's face. Her lower lip was trembling and her eyes were blinking furiously as she fought to hold back her emotions. I had never really realized just how important that was to them until that moment.

In an inspired moment, Mary got up and went to my mother's side, holding her in her embrace. It was something that would remain with me for the rest of my life. The bonds between people, related or not, come from genuine feelings and emotions. They can't be contrived. We can see right through those most of the time. The bonds that were formed between my parents and the Carlisle family were genuine.

When Jimmy had gone to bed and my parents left for their home, I turned to Nicole and wrapped her in my arms. There wasn't anything that needed to be said. It was all self-evident in the words and actions of the afternoon and evening. I shouldn't have been in any doubt anyway, but whatever might have been there in the recesses of my mind was swept away in the euphoria of the forthcoming melding of two families.

Nicole came home with me as she had been since her return. As I closed the door to my apartment and turned to her, she walked into my arms and held me tightly to her.

"This has been the best week of my life," she said into my coat.

"I know what you mean and it has been for me too. I couldn't get over what happened tonight with my parents. I guess I should have known how much they wanted a grandchild, but I was insensitive to it."

"No, Will. They suppressed it, just like your wife did. Just like you probably did too. It all came out tonight ... in a good way."

"Yeah. Jimmy is special. I can't think of him as anything but my son. I won't allow myself to."

"I won't let you, either, my love. He is our son. Always remember that."

We didn't attempt to go out on "Black Friday." We got together at the Carlisle home and ate leftover turkey sandwiches, played board games in the living room, and generally chilled out for the day. I was helping Mary with the kitchen dishes later in the afternoon when she decided she wanted to talk to me.

"Your mother and father are lovely people, Will. I can see where you get your manners and personality. You know Angus and I have been very protective of Nicole and Jimmy. She made a mistake when she was young and we've been very concerned that she not make another. I'm very pleased that she has chosen you and you have chosen her.

"I'm also relieved and happy that Jimmy thinks of you as his father-to-be. That was also a bit of worry for us. But after yesterday especially, I feel very confident now. Our daughter is in good hands and our grandson will finally have the father he needs. You are part of our family, Will."

"I feel privileged that you've made me so welcome," I told her. "I love your daughter and Jimmy will be the son I thought I would never have. I promise to protect and love them as long as I am alive."

Mary moved to me and hugged me closely to her.

"Thank you, Will. I know you will."

It had to come, but it came sooner than I was prepared for. We would be separated again for another two weeks at least. It was going to be even more difficult this time because of what had happened this past week. Our recognition of our love, the commitment to marry, the joining of the two families, and the special pleasure of making love to Nicole were all too new.

I was not in a happy state as I drove Nicole to the airport once again. This time, Jimmy came with us. Nicole had said goodbye to her parents at the house. Even though this separation would be slightly less than the first, it still seemed like an eternity to me.

We stopped in the parking area along side the now familiar black SUV's. It was a different man who came out to take Nicole's bags, but he was polite and efficient. We hugged and kissed and Jimmy joined us briefly, his attention torn from the sleek jet that awaited his mother.

It seemed like only seconds later that she was stepping into the aircraft and out of our sight with the door hissing shut. The engines spooled up and soon it turned and taxied out of sight to the end of the runway. The two of us stood silently, waiting for the jet to reappear, almost surprising us at how quickly it had risen and soared off into the distance. And just like that, she was gone again.

I drove Jimmy home and stayed only briefly before heading to my condominium. I wasn't in the mood for company. I sat in front of my computer waiting for her call and when it came it almost surprised me. She had a smooth, quick flight and all was normal at the compound. She was back in the same room and would be back to work early tomorrow morning. There wasn't much to say that we hadn't said yesterday, but I was happy to see her face and touch my finger to the screen where her lips were.

I returned to work the next day and resumed my conventional career. It seemed so ordinary when I thought of what Nicole might be involved in. But then, my career was safe. I wasn't totally sure about hers. I did some research on eco-terrorism and quickly learned that is was high up on the list of concerns of Homeland Security, the F.B.I. and local law enforcement. When I reviewed the list of suspected attacks, I was surprised at the number and frequency of them. Because they were so often in remote locations or not catastrophic events, they didn't get the publicity that they might have.

The days dragged by, brightened only briefly by our evening visits on Skype. I was yearning for Nicole's return and like her, counting the days. She would hold up the calendar and I could see not only the X's that marked the passage of days, but the red heart-shaped mark surrounding the days we were together. There was no mark on the calendar yet that would tell me when she would be home.

In the meantime, I had begun scouting for a home for us. I had promised Jimmy that I would try and keep it in the same school district and I was working with a real estate agent who had my "musts" and "wants" clearly marked for him. One Saturday afternoon when I couldn't think of anything better to do with Jimmy, I took him with me to look at some homes with our agent. Jimmy thought that was "awesome."

I had been doing a bit more work at the TV station in Saginaw during the past month. Most of it was writing for the early news at five o'clock, and updating for the six o'clock edition. If nothing else, I knew what was going on in the world. Some of the copy was lead-ins to syndicated news stories that we picked up day-to-day from all kinds of sources. Other material was network, since we had a now-and-then agreement with CBS. The station served the Saginaw, Bay City and Flint region.