Chapter 6: Start then Stop

We took Jimmy to see a play on the following Saturday afternoon. It was a kid's mystery play, apparently loosely based on a Hardy Boys novel. Jimmy loved it and both Nicole and I were kept interested as well, even though we guessed who the bad guy was. The place was full of youngsters, most of them between Jimmy's age and maybe twelve. The noise they made when something exciting happened was quite amazing. The actors really got the kids into the story and led them along all the way.

When we walked out of the theater, Jimmy turned to me.

"Can we do that again next Saturday?"

"Well, that's up to your mom, but I'm not sure it won't be the same play next week. We might have to wait a bit for a new play. But, if you liked it today, then I'd be happy to take you again."

"Yaay! That was so cool when they caught the bad guy at the end. I thought he was supposed to be their friend?"

"Well, that's where he fooled the boys, didn't he. It took them a while to figure it out, but they did, didn't they?"

"Yeah. Those guys are really smart. I'd like to be a detective some day."

I looked at Nicole and I could see that certain sparkle in her eyes that I'd become used to seeing when she was very happy.

And that was the beginning of our dating. I was falling for Nicole and I didn't make any secret of it. She was, as she said she would, being cautious. That didn't mean that we didn't kiss and that the kisses became more prolonged and passionate, but we weren't going past that for now. Just being with her was a high for me, but I wondered how long it would be before Nicole was completely confident in me.

It was late October, nearing Halloween, and I had volunteered to take Jimmy out for Trick or Treat. Nicole had been a little distant and uncomfortable around me for the past couple of days and I wanted to find out why. I wish now I hadn't.

"I've got some news, Will," she began as we sat at the kitchen table after Jimmy had calmed down from his outing and had gone to bed. "I'm going to be away for a while on a special project. I won't be able to see you for some time. I'm sorry, but I can't get out of this. It's very important."

"What kind of project and for how long?"

"I can't tell you what it's about. The first section will last three to four weeks. I'll be out of town and won't be home until I'm finished."

"Oh ... oh wow. Gone for a month. What about Jimmy?"

"Mom and Dad will look after him. I can't take him with me."

"Why can't you tell me what it's about?"

"Because I'm not allowed to. You're a newspaperman and it's your job to get the news. I can't take the chance of information leaking out."

"Now you've got me completely confused. You're not allowed to tell me what it's about?"

"That's right."

I sat back in the chair and tried to figure out what the hell was going on. She worked for a foundation that gave money away. She had to go out of town for some reason that was related to the job, but couldn't tell me why. I racked my brain trying to piece together some sort of logical explanation, but nothing was coming to me.

"So," I said in resignation, "we'll be apart for a month, then?"

She nodded, "For the first segment."

"First segment? You mean there will be others?"

"In all probability I'll be home for a week or two, then away again for another two to three weeks."

I was shaking my head. I just didn't understand.

"What's so secret about the Hepplinger Foundation?"

"I can't tell you," she said, almost looking like she wanted to but didn't dare.

"Can you tell me where you are going?"

"No."

Stymied again.

"Is this about not being able to trust me to keep a confidence because I'm a newspaperman?"

"No. I don't want you put in a dangerous spot."

"Dangerous? How dangerous?"

"Information can be dangerous, Will. You know that."

"That means you're going to be in a dangerous situation, doesn't it?"

"I don't think so. I'll have protection."

"Protection! Tell me it isn't dangerous for you, Nicole," I demanded.

"It shouldn't be," she said, not being able to look me in the eye.

"What the hell does that mean, 'It shouldn't be?'"

"Stop it, Will. I wish I hadn't said anything now. It was stupid of me. Please forget everything I've said. I'll be fine and I'll be back by Thanksgiving."

"And then you'll be gone again," I said, now very frustrated at not being able to get to the bottom of this mystery.

"Will, please don't do this. I care about you. I could have made up some story that you would have had to accept, but I didn't want to lie to you. But I cannot tell you everything. I'm not allowed to, by order."

"From whom? Who ordered you to shut up?"

"I can't say."

"Well, that means it wasn't your own people, doesn't it?'

"I can't say."

"Do you parents know about this ... the danger I mean?"

"No. I didn't want them upset."

"But it was okay for me to be upset, eh?"

"No, Will. Please, please try to understand. I would never do anything to hurt you, but I simply can't tell you everything that's going on."

I sat back again, letting my pent up breath exhaust noisily. This had been the most frustrating conversation I had ever had. If it demonstrated one thing it was that Nicole was a very strong-willed person and wouldn't easily crack under pressure. It also demonstrated that she was becoming an obsession with me. I didn't want to just let it go, but I didn't know where to go next.

"Okay, Nicole," I said after a silence. "I accept you can't tell me. It hurts, but I don't think it's because you don't have feelings for me. You've been told to keep a confidence and you're determined to do that. I have to respect that because it happens to me quite often in my job. But give me some hope for the next month. Can we see each other on Skype?"