Chapter 96

Flashback – Ben – At the hospital

I was in the middle of a damn fucking interview that was even worse than the last one with President Putin! And now I figured out why: Either the Colonel or the Major had prepared the news crew because they had all the right questions to ask. In the middle of a question I heard a hell of a noise in the hallway then they burst into my room...

Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital

I was excited that Ben could see; it was better than I had hoped for. I helped to get him ready for his news interview and make him appear at his best and was very proud of the job he was doing. Things were wonderful until they rudely entered the room...

Flashback – Jack – At the hospital

Masha and Maggie had finished their talk and Masha was happy as ever. I watched Banzai squirm as the reporters asked him questions - then they flew into the room...

Flashback – Colonel Maggie – At the hospital

The interview was going better than I had hoped. I fed the press enough information and potential questions so they were making the Corps look better than ever. Oh, I could tell Sgt. Blaine didn't care one bit for it! And in hindsight I should have ordered him to cooperate in better spirit.

I heard a hell of a noise in the hallway, then a whole Spetsnaz team roared into the room. I looked at the Major and commanded, "Stop them! They're ruining our interview!"

Flashback – Ben – At the hospital

Hell yes! My Spetsnaz team has come to save me from this damn fucking interview. They burst into the room; the Colonel mistakenly commanded Major M to "Stop them! They're ruining our interview!" And then the fun started...

One Major, even Major M, against a team of Spetsnaz didn't stand a chance. He made a huge mistake when he grabbed Yuri but promptly found his own ass on the floor. He then did a leg sweep, took down two of my team and then the shit really hit the fan...

Flashback – Glen

What the hell is that fucking Major doing now? The interview was going great, Maggie did a hell of a job preparing the news crews, Sgt. Blaine was upset but obviously playing along. And then the most surprising thing happened - a Spetsnaz team flew into the room. It should have been great publicity but the Major decided to fight them? And even worse, he was getting his ass kicked!

Flashback – Jens

I'm watching the interview with Daddy and can even understand a little of the Russian and translate some for Daddy. Then a bunch of Russian soldiers come into the room and Ben's Major starts fighting them. I giggle because he was getting beat up on international television. Daddy got upset and started swearing so I innocently asked, "Daddy, what's wrong?"

He steamed his reply, "Jennifer, it's that damn Major! All he's done since he's been over there is get in fights. And now this one is on television and he's getting his ass kicked. This was supposed to show the Corps in a good light and now it's been ruined."

We continued to watch, then the most amazing thing happened...

Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital

When the Spetsnaz team invaded Ben's room, his Major foolishly attacked them which unfortunately also greatly upset Ben. He tried to get off the bed and I knew I needed to do something so I laid on top of him, gave him a my best kiss while I simultaneously massaged Dim Mak¹ pressure point ten on Ben's forearm. This produced a vasovagal response and Ben promptly fell unconscious.

¹ Dim Mak - The Touch of Death (or Death-Point Striking) refers to any martial arts technique reputed to kill using seemingly less than lethal force targeted at specific areas of the body. The pressure can also be used in less lethal ways.

I caught Masha's eyes as she realized what I had done and we moved between Ben and the Spetsnaz team.

Flashback – Jack – At the hospital

What the fuck! Masha and Tatiana got between our Spetsnaz team and Ben? I looked and noticed Ben was passed out on the bed and I knew I needed to do something! They both looked like they were going to kick some ass and while I know Masha got lucky with the Major, she wasn't going to get lucky with the Spetsnaz team.

I suddenly knew what I needed to do!

Flashback – Glen

Dammit! This interview had become FUBAR! The Major was getting his ass kicked again, now a couple of women jumped between the Spetsnaz team and Sgt. Blaine (who looked like he'd passed out). I was sure the women were going to get the hell beat out of them when...

Flashback – Jens

I was soooooo angry! That ugly Russian spy female dog that loved MY BEN and some other Russian woman acted like they were going to protect MY BEN from the Russian soldiers! Ha! Even with MY BEN being injured he could still have kicked everyone's rear in the room. Then MY BEN'S spotter did the most amazing thing, but I also noticed something about Ben which troubled me terribly.

Flashback – Glen

Sgt. Reynolds stepped in front of the women, held out his arms and walked toward the Spetsnaz team. I thought the old fart was going to get his ass kicked but instead the Spetsnaz hugged the hell out of him and then the bottles of vodka magically appeared.

Flashback – Colonel Maggie – At the hospital

Well that plan worked perfectly! The Major got his ass handed to him by the Sgts.' Spetsnaz team then Sgt. Reynolds stepped in and calmed everyone down. But what interested me the most was what Sgt. Blaine's nurse and Masha did: It looked like they were going to try to keep the Spetsnaz from getting to Ben who appeared to be passed out on his bed (now how did that happen?).

The bottles of vodka came out; Jack motioned me over and we had some drinks with the boys...

Flashback – Major M – At the hospital

That bony bitch set me up! She told me to stop the Spetsnaz from getting to Sgt. Blaine and I promptly got my ass kicked - all on international television! Sgt. Reynolds 'fixed' the situation and I do have to say one thing: The Spetsnaz don't hold and grudges so they helped me up and then we started to drink vodka.

One of them said something so we all went to Sgt. Blaine's bed but he was unconscious. Hell, you would have thought he was dead by the way they all acted then the bony bitch came up and ordered, "Major you're a disgrace to that uniform! Just look at you! Get your ass back to the hotel and wait there until I arrive."

The Spetsnaz started to laugh their asses off, I stormed out of the room and decided I was going to fix that bony bitch if it was the last thing I did.

I started to head back to the hotel when a sweet young thing stopped me on the street. Even though I didn't speak Russian I could tell what the hell she wanted. She called a taxi and we both jumped in - it looked like I was going to get lucky after all...

Flashback – Ben – In the Colorado woods

It had been I guess close to five days since dad ran me off. I'd been living with the fox the whole time in her den. We'd go out hunting each day, sometimes she would catch rabbits but other times squirrels. It didn't matter because I'd cook them over a fire for both of us. Yeah, she preferred her food cooked which surprised me...

Things were great until I woke up one morning and she was gone. I came out of the den saw someone, they started with, "We've been lookin'...

Then I felt liquid fire in my mouth which then sped directly to my stomach...

Flashback – Mira, Safia and Ira – in Israel

We departed haste of post from the broken cart of ass and ran toward the address the Stay Puft ass gave us.

Irinka whined, "Mira, my ass formicates! I am sure some vile creature from your ass has taken refuge within assual proximity."

Safia giggled so I questioned, "Safia what is so mirthful?"

Safia replied, "I was not aware that someone had sexual relations with your sister's ass."

The conversation of training our asses was a sore subject so I was surprised when Irinka reacted so mildly, "Little one, I said formicate not fornicate."

Safia questioned, "What is the difference?"

I expound, "Formicate is the feeling of vile creatures crawling on your skin and you obviously already know the definition of fornicate."

Safia remarked with sudden awareness, "Oh, so Ira has ants in her pants?"

Ira informed Safia, "I only desired they were creatures of the Formicidae species since those I could tolerate better than these. I am certain the offenders are from the vile species Siphonaptera."

Safia questions, "What are you talking about?"

I recognize that I need to remove Irinka's thoughts from this topic so I deftly commence on a tangential question, "Safia, you promised to relate more ass references for our edification."

Safia thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, you know many of them already, but I don't think that you two know that you really kick ass!"

Ira replies fact of matterly, "Well that is logical because we can kick most people's derriere."

Safia giggles and corrects, "No, in this case it means that you two are really cool and the best!"

Ira answers, "I do like this ass term: Yes Mira, we kick ass!"

Safia adds, "You can bet your ass on that."

And we again begin to delve further into the ass question...

Flashback – Jens

Daddy still complained, "That damn Major is fucking everything up!"

I suggested, "Perhaps you could send him to the resort in Greenland?"

Daddy laughed, "Jennifer, like I told you before it's not a resort but that's a hell of an idea. Yeah I think Major Mike needs to spend a few months in Thule to cool his ass down."

I bravely suggested, "What about the Colonel?"

Daddy shot down that idea, "Hell no, she's done a hell of a job."

Rats! My Ben will still have some problems in Russia but the female dog spy is by far the worst. I announced, "Daddy, I'm going up to my room for the night."

He complimented me on my help, "Jennifer, I really want to thank you for your translations tonight, they really helped."

I smiled at Daddy and said, "Thank you. I will work harder on learning Russian." And then I ran upstairs to implement my new plan against the female dog Russian spy...

Flashback – Ben – At the hospital

A fire burned down my throat and into my stomach! I woke from my Colorado dream and swore, "What the hell!"

Yuri smiled and said, "Ben, we gave you a little vodka to wake you up."

I ordered, "Well give me a damn bottle so I can help myself."

I found a bottle in my hand, took a long as hell swig from it and then I saw a very pissed off Tatiana. Naturally I asked, "What is your problem?"