06 Home
Copyright© 2012 by Banzai Ben
Chapter 20
Present – Thom – At the cabin
I walk into the kitchen and ask, "How about some breakfast for me?"
Byron wanders in and says, "I already had some but could sure use more."
Matt and Jim walk in and Jim states, "See Matt I told you someone was cooking."
Jack, Masha and Ivan come in and now the whole damn kitchen is full.
Jens asks, "Liz please take over with the eggs, I need to have a little talk with everyone."
She turns, looks at us and smiles, "Just so you know, I am not going to be providing all the service and making all the meals around here. So you all need to figure out a rotation for who's cooking, who's cleaning and who's serving."
I suggest, "Hey Jennifer, why don't you just hire a cook."
She teases, "Why should I? Can't you all cook?"
I reply, "Well, my cooking isn't half bad but if we're eating Byron's cooking we're going to need a lot of Beano."
Byron complains, "Well you never seem to mind it so much that you don't eat it. But Jennifer, think about it. What Thom has suggested makes sense because then we will be assured the quality of our meals will be consistent."
Jennifer thinks for a few moments and agrees, "It does make sense, but how in the hell do I find a good cook all the way out here?"
I volunteer, "Well, give us some keys to a car and we will go find one."
She states, "Well you're not driving my Jeep or the Cobra so I guess you'll need to take Ben's truck. But he loves that truck so if you mess it up, he's going to mess you up to match it."
I don't like the sound of that so I make a decision, "We're going to take a taxi to town and I will see if I can acquire a vehicle. Come on Byron let's go."
Jens orders, "Just make sure you're here for dinner tonight."
I reply, "Yeah don't worry, if I don't feed Byron often enough he gets cranky."
Byron laughs, "Hey I resemble that remark."
Jens calls the taxi, we head out the door and I feel relieved because I've dodged her 'secret weapon' for now...
Present – Jens – At the cabin
Thom did have a great idea about the cook, but I sure as hell wouldn't want that thankless job, not with the mixed up palates of this group. Oh Matt, Jim, Jack and Linus will eat almost anything, but you've got the two girls who so far have turned up their noses at everything other than my cookies, you have Mira, Ira, Alexi and Masha who like Russian type foods and then there's Maria and I have no idea what she normally eats. Yeah lots of luck to the person that takes this thankless job.
Liz is finished with the eggs for the three of us and Masha volunteers, "I will cook the food for everyone else."
We pray, sit down, begin to eat and I realize Zarika is missing. Oh yeah I told her to meet me in my room.
I excuse myself, "I forgot that Zarika is waiting in my room for me so let me go get her. Masha will you please prepare some food for her?"
Masha replies, "Certainly Ms. Donaldson."
Liz adds, "And please make some extra for Mira, Ira and Alexi. I will deliver their plates."
Jack hands Ivan to Jim and says, "Masha needs some help so watch Vanya."
Jim questions, "What the hell am I supposed to do with him."
Jack answers, "Play with him."
Jim looks like he is completely baffled when Alexi walks in and offers, "I will take him and play with him."
Masha requests, "Do not take him far because he will eat soon."
Present – Yasmeen – At the cabin
I am upset that the Jennifer lady is bringing Zarika in the same kitchen as me however I do not show my anger. I hate the food the Jennifer lady makes because it does not taste like my mother's cooking.
I believe they will purchase a slave to cook, so I will need to show her who is boss and make sure she cooks correctly...
Present – Zarika – At the cabin
The Jens lady did not come into our room so I begin to clean up the room. It was wise of me to go to the bathroom on my own clothes and bed because now I have moved into the Jens lady room with her.
The Jens lady walks in and says, "Wow Zarika, thanks for starting to pick up the mess, but I wish you had waited because we need to redo it."
I am sad and ask, "I not do good?"
The Jens lady smiles, "Zarika, there is the right way to do things, which is what you did; the wrong way to do things and then there's the Marine way to do things. The Marine way is what I will teach you after breakfast."
I ask, "Marine like Ben?"
The Jens lady smiles and says, "Yes we were both Marines together. Now follow me to the kitchen. Just so you know Yasmeen is there and I do not want you two fighting again."
I am not happy that Yasmeen the annoying is there, but I can't wait to see her face when she finds out she has to clean up my mess. She will be even more surprised that I am sleeping in the same bed as the nice Jens lady...
Present – Byron – At the cabin
We're waiting for the taxi and I ask, "So have you figured out Jennifer's secret weapon yet?"
Thom looks at me and says, "No, but I figure if we're not at the cabin she can't use it."
I say, "Thom, look over there."
Thom remarks, "Damn that's a beautiful fox. It's a wonder it's still here with that damn dog around."
I chuckle, "Did you already forget you're run-in with Sharik. If I remember right, he had you by the balls."
Thom says, "That damn dog is lucky I don't hold a grudge otherwise he'd be on the receiving end of a hell of a prank."
I look at Thom with amazement because he holds grudges more often and longer than any person I know. I remind him for his own safety, "Just remember Sharik has some very powerful friends that have made it clear what will happen if you hurt him."
Present – Thom – At the cabin
Damn, Byron's starting to get on my nerves with his mother hen routine! I look at him and tease, "The way you henpeck, you'd make someone a great wife."
He counters, "Well, it's the only damn way you'll listen to anything. Besides, I'm tired of cleaning up your messes."
I give him a hurt look, "My messes! Now I suppose you're going to try to blame me for your arm getting shot."
He smiles, "As a matter of fact that is your fault. If you hadn't gone off half-cocked we could have come up with a good plan instead of having to blunder in to rescue you."
I get ready to let him have it as the cab pulls up and the cabbie questions, "Where to?"
I answer, "Someplace with good food."
The cabbie continues, "What sort of food?"
I say, "Surprise us."
Present – Jens – At the cabin
We walk into the kitchen. I'm watching Yasmeen like a hawk but she doesn't even look at Zarika - all the better because if those two start another food fight then they will eat outside. I sit down, put a fork full of eggs in my mouth, fight it down and complain, "My eggs are cold. Hey Sharik, want some eggs boy."
He comes over, does his little doggie dance and I say, "Not in the kitchen, you have to eat scraps outside."
He follows me to the front door, I open it and we step outside. I see a flash of red and Sharik is off like a rocket propelled dog. I yell, "Sharik, that's Anastasia the fox! Leave her alone!"
It doesn't help. But I'm not worried because she's fast and smart. I put the eggs in the bowl outside and head back to the kitchen when I hear it. Oh hell what's wrong now!
Present – Masha At the cabin
First I serve my husband then I call, "Alexi, please bring Vanya."
He brings Vanya, puts him in the highchair by Jack and watches as I make three plates for Miranda, Irina and Alexi. Liz says, "Thanks I will take these to the girls."
Alexi adds, "I will assist."
I take a small plate for myself, put some eggs on Zarika's plate and say, "Everything else is for the rest of you."
Matt and Jim rush toward the stove.
Zarika tastes the eggs, smiles and says, "Ms. Reynolds eggs like those cooked by my mother."
I return the smile and question, "Thank you Zarika, was your mother Russian?" I ask even though I already comprehended the answer from her facial features.
She answers, "We were Tajik."
I state, "Yes that would explain your facial features and skin tone. Tajik women are known to be some of the loveliest on the planet. And when you mature you will be very lovely.
Zarika blushes, Yasmeen begins to choke and says, "Zarika lovely – big joke you tell. She look like donkey ass."
I prepare to whisk Ivan to safety so he does not witness another food fight because I had just taught him not to throw his food when the most amazing thing happens...
Present – Jens – At the cabin
I walk into the kitchen as Zarika flies past me crying like crazy. I look at everyone and ask, "What the hell happened."
Masha states, "I complimented Zarika on her looks, told her she would be beautiful when she matured and Yasmeen said she looked like" ... She stops and looks at Ivan. Then Ivan laughs and says, "Doggie ass!"
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