Chapter 6: Second Base

I put on a small party for the architect, head contractor, the interior decorator and the lawyers. The lawyers approved of the place. It was deemed "distinguished and handsome" in their words. We sat about the fireplace sipping decent wine and discussing different choices and trade-offs that I'd made. In the morning the lawyers released the rest of the construction account to me. I opened a local working account with it, arranged for a debit card and checks, made the post office and emergency services aware of my address (I got a rural delivery box) and got a local driver's license. With homeowner's insurance the place got covered for ice, hail, smoke, fire, flood, theft and acts of aggression. I investigated local ship's chandlers to see who had the best reputation. I called the winner and placed a stocking order. It was the second week in April. The occupancy clock had started ticking.

The government was still pissed about having the rug yanked out from under their feet. Personally, I didn't have a damned thing to do with it. I was just a victim that got sucked into the jet engine. However, since I was a moving target I got shot at. I was sued for various things from tax fraud to squatting to theft of government property. They tried to lock off access to my road. I visited the local Menard's for a cutoff saw, a plastic face shield and a little generator. I also bought a one gallon plastic dispenser full of gasoline. One hour later the concrete-filled steel post that the lock had been fastened to was history. I regarded all these moves as prime bovine fertilizer—bullshit. I obtained copies of the deed and the contract from the law firm, hired a young attorney with an attitude and made a trip to Augusta, the state capitol. I made an appointment to speak with the state Attorney General along with a rather vocal representative of "The Friends of Sears Island". When we paraded through his door I could see immediately that he wished he were anywhere but in the office that day. I had a plan to bring a smile to his face, but first I had to lay some shit down in the rose garden. Then we might see some blooms. I started off by shaking his hand.

"Good morning, sir. We've both got a problem because an old contract has triggered a disruption of the status quo. First, let me lay out the paperwork behind all this."

I gave him the certified copies of the deed and contract that spawned this devil's mess. He read through it and became increasingly more uncomfortable.

"Now, the state's position." I laid out the series of law suits that I'd been confronted with. My pet tiger of a lawyer started spouting phrases such as spurious suits, defamation and collusion. "Would you agree that these are nuisance suits?"

He was forced to agree.

"Before we all get our dicks in a wringer I have an offer. I propose that I grant the northern half of Sears Island to "The Friends of Sears Island" including the camp and jetty. They will be responsible for its maintenance and will receive the profits thereof. It will have to be incorporated as a not-for-profit to keep the government happy and the state will need to kick in for some things like road maintenance and storm damage repair to the water facilites. This should satisfy the most vocal interest group and swing much public opinion my way. Any state legislative grumps should either be short-circuited by the phrasing of the deed and contract before you or what I have proposed. What say you?"

He called in his team to talk it over. The woman from "The Friends" was beaming at me. I'd just proposed to give her back her pet project. I let her know that I was proposing to fence off my half of the island and populate it with large dogs and deer. Some areas would have to be cleaned up and seeded in high-protein fodder for the deer or they'd starve. I requested that a long-term limited hunting license scheme be implemented in the coming years to keep from decimating the herd yet keep its numbers under control. I informed her of my plans to raise chickens and plant a large family garden. I proposed to her that a limited number of family garden plots might be leased out on a yearly basis to city-dwellers. I was going to purchase a tractor with an end-loader attachment and a deep cultivator for my own use. I could probably be wheedled into preparing a few garden plots each spring for them. Oh, and the old coppice-woods would be cut down, the root systems dug out, the soil deep-fertilized and the woods replanted. A few small orchards would also be planted. I was considering a pioneer village and black-smithy to be built and operated during the late spring to fall seasons. I'm afraid that I pushed the poor woman in over her head. She'd 'get back to me'. Right.