Chapter 12: I subsidize a business and hire a housekeeper

I stopped at the first diner/coffee shop that I found.

A bit of a diatribe, here. I've been searching for the best pumpkin pie, the best hamburger, the best sirloin steak and the best pizza throughout my life. Every time I came upon a new place I resolved to give it every opportunity to excel.

I greeted the waitress with a smile and ordered a cup of coffee with cream and sugar accompanied by a slice of pumpkin pie. One point in its favor, it was at room temperature, not refrigerated. It had a nice spicy smell, yet not overpowering. I cut a bite and pressed up with my tongue. This wasn't a pumpkin pie. This was a pumpkin cheesecake! It was sweet, moist and flavorful. I closed my eyes and smiled as I chewed. The crust was buttery and marvelous. There was no lingering aftertaste. I opened my eyes to see the waitress watching me, smiling.

I said, "I'm in luuuuve!"

She smiled a bit wider. "We get that a lot."

I got a wild hair up my fanny. "Do you sell these pies as carry-out?"

"Nope. Sorry. We don't have the production space."

I reached for my checkbook. I was about to do Bangor Maine an immense favor. "How much do you need to expand? Mixers, ovens, holding boxes, forms, tables, real estate: what?"

I obviously caught her with her panties down. She yelled towards the back "Hey, Charlene! Get up here!" After a skinny little red-headed woman appeared my waitress pointed towards me with her thumb. "Talk business with the man."

I smiled at her, hoping to put her at ease. "You've got the best pumpkin cheesecake I've ever tasted. Your friend says that you don't have or can't get the capital to expand. I'm willing to front you a five year loan at one percent with no front end or back end loading, to expand your business for carry-out cheesecakes. You're going to need staff as well, so let's not skimp. I propose a one hundred thousand dollar loan from me to you. The only rider is I get a cheesecake on Thanksgiving, Christmas and my birthday. Whaddaya say?"

She sat down, hard. She slowly said "I've been fighting for a loan one tenth that size for two years. Now you just drop it into my lap with golden terms. Why?"

"Because I LIKE your cheesecake, dammit! Let's go to the bank and set up the loan. Bring your ID."

She walked out with a check and I walked out with a promise of cheesecakes! I followed her back to the restaurant. I wanted to finish the rest of my slice of pie.

While knocking back while savoring that pie and coffee I asked the waitress where I should look in town for a live-in cook and housekeeper. She had no idea off the top of her head, but suggested that I talk to the local Methodist minister. I thought that it was a pretty good idea, myself!

The minister answered the door when I rang the bell to the rectory. He invited me in. I shook his hand and told me who I was. Using the hand he'd been shaking he turned me partially around.

"I don't see either a tail or wings. My congregation seems to be mis-informed."

I grinned and replied, "I do seem to polarize people, don't I?"

"What can I do for you today?"

"I'm looking for a live-in cook and housekeeper. If they've got small kids, all the better as I've got over four hundred acres of land for them to explore. I'm an ex-reenactor and have many skills to teach little ones."

We sat and had coffee while he thought it over. Finally he came to some sort of decision. "She isn't really a member of my flock, but I know of a young widow with six-year-old twins that is having quite a bit of trouble. She's keeping body and soul together as a maid at the Mariott hotel. Her name is Julie Simms. Her kids are twins named Kim and Tim. I don't really think that she's making enough to live on. She won't take hand-outs but she's a determined worker. If you wish I'll write you an introduction and let you take it from there."

"I'll take that introduction with thanks. I've got the money to spend helping others so why not make my life easier in the process, eh?"

He grinned. "Finest kind." Now that was a 'down Mainer'!"

I had a few tasks to accomplish before I had kinds running around the place.

I paid a call on the local feed-lot and arranged for a dozen bales of hay for bedding and five hundred pounds of large breed puppy chow. I called "two guys and a truck" to replenish my cord-wood supply and stock me up with six hundred pounds of charcoal. I specified that all the fuel was to be laid on pallets or, in the case of the firewood, on 2x4 stretchers nailed together so that the supports were taller than wide. I'd probably be flushing dog poop off the floor and didn't want anything to be sitting in water. I also had the guys pick up the hay and feed from the feed-lot. I'd have to build a bin for the feed so the dogs wouldn't get into it. Having another granary wouldn't hurt me. I asked my contractor to build me a granary room inside the first barn.

Granaries aren't just built of wood and nails. They're lined with galvanized sheet metal with secure corners and flashing to keep rats and mice out of the room's contents. It takes a knowledgeable carpenter that had done it before to do a quick, clean job. I could probably lash one together with a hammer, punch and a screw gun driving in a metric butt-load of drywall screws, but why bother if the skilled labor was available and I had the cash to spend?

I contracted for a locksmith to come out and put same-keyed locks on the lab, office, bedroom suite, bedrooms and the conservatory doors. I'd give my live-in help access, but not the kids. There was too much trouble for them to get into. The locksmith clued me in as where to purchase a gun safe. I had it mounted in the corner of the office.

I got electrical service run to the first barn, lights installed as well as an LP-gas-fired heater.

It was time to get the puppies. I started with a litter of eight German Shepherds. The vet gave them their shots and dosed them for worms. Once home I spread two bales of hay inside their manger and got them bedded down. The first two nights I slept with them. Granted I was in a sleeping bag, but they seemed a lot happier around me than not.

In the morning I got them fed then peed in the small copse of trees near the barn that I wanted them to use. After eating myself I walked around the place with them both following and leading me. We spent the day wandering the beaches, the fence line and the barns. I fed them every morning and evening. After a week of this I did the same for a litter of seven Newfoundlands. At their rate of consumption I realized that I'd be running out of puppy chow in short order! I got another thousand pounds on order.

I looked around at my garden furniture. There wasn't much. I had an Adirondack chair that I'd brought from Illinois sitting in the conservatory. I got the name of the vendor off my chair (It was stamped into the wood) and ordered three more chairs and two Adirondack love seats. This would give us seating both in the conservatory and on the patio, for Julie, the kids and myself. Once everything arrived I'd get them put together, then spray paint them all with gloss enamel. That way they should hold up to the weather.

I got one of those off-the-wall thoughts. Little boys and swimming pools. I talked to a pharmacist in town. He knew just what I needed and ordered a pint of a solution for me. I remembered what a little monster I had been like. I was ready for him!

The locksmith was finished, the gun safe was installed and, God help me, I thought I was ready. I contacted Julie Simms and let her know that the Minister had clued me in that she might be needing a better job. I offered to bring her out and look the place over. She said that she'd drive out that day, as Monday was her day off. I said "Bring the kids! I think I've bullet-proofed the place."

An old Ford Taurus groaned its way up the drive. I greeted everyone with a smile and a wave. She was a Blonde little thing, just like her kids. She was interested but the kids didn't want to get out of the car. They were afraid of the dogs.

"They're only puppies. Here. Hold out your hand. I got Tim to stick his hand out the window. He looked like he expected to haul back a bleeding stump. I think the dogs licked a week's worth of grime off his hand. He was grinning from ear to ear. Kim just had to get into the act as well. Soon they were in the grass, tumbling around with puppies half as big as they were.