Part 7: Robert the Bastard

The Universe, having already lost its bottom, proceeded to turn itself inside out and melt into an unrecognizable smear.

Sandy stared at Mom. I stared at Mom. Sandy stared at 'Officer Bob' who was now 'Uncle Bob'. I stared at 'Officer Bob' who was now 'Uncle Bob'. Mom Stared at him as though she could disintegrate him with her mind and wanted nothing better. The silence took on an air of solidity that is normally only felt in the movies, in that moment right before the building where the 200 school children are held hostage, explodes.

The phone rang and we all nearly died of fright. Mom answered it on the third ring. Listened for 2 seconds and told the caller that we didn't need a new long distance service, and hung up. She tried to glare at Robert as intensely as before but the spell was broken, instead she started to speak, but her eyes never left Robert, who seemed to shrink as they bore into him.

"Robert is my younger brother. Whom I have not spoken too since I married your Father."

"Why not tell them why Katie? Go ahead."

"BECAUSE YOU RAPED ME YOU BASTARD!!"

I don't remember standing, but I found myself on my feet in front of Robert. Standing between him and my now crying mother. Something in my face must have really frightened Robert, because he shrank even further into his chair. But what he said next was surprising. He didn't try to deny Mom's accusation or defend it. He didn't even raise his arms to fend of the blows he was sure (quite correctly) that I was about to deliver.

"Yes, I did Katie and I'm sorry. I can't change what happened. I can't even ask for forgiveness. But I just wanted to talk. To let you know that even though you can't forgive what I did. I'm sorry and I still love you."

"LOVE!!! You call what you did LOVE?"

"No Katie. It was anger. It was desperation. It was fear. But IT wasn't love."

"So now what? You couldn't get what you wanted then, so your here to Blackmail your way back into my pants, BY USING MY CHILDREN!"

"No Katie that's not why I'm here." Robert started to get up. He looked like he had just been told he had less than a week to live."No Katie, I just wanted a chance to be in your life. Not in that way just as your brother. I know now that I never really wanted you that way. You see Katie, I'm Gay."

Mom looked at Robert. "What kind of trick is this Bobby? What do you mean your 'Gay'?"

"Katie didn't you ever wonder why I couldn't keep a girlfriend? It was because you were the only girl I could ever get it up for. For the longest tine I thought it was because I loved you! I guess in a way it was, but not the way thought it was. After you left, I was in a really bad place. Finally I went into therapy. It was only then that I realized that, you weren't the ONLY girl I could get it up for, you were the only GIRL I could get it up for."

"What happened that night was anger and jealousy, pure and simple. At the time I thought I was angry at Danny for taking you, and jealous that you loved him not me. It took a long time before I realized. I was angry at you for taking Danny, and that he loved you not me."

"Like I said. I was a confused, scared kid. Who didn't even understand why I was hurting you. I know you can't for give me but I wanted you to know and maybe understand."

Robert moved to the front door. " I'll Leave Now Katie. I'm sorry I hurt you again. I won't come back!"

As Robert opened the door to leave Mom called out. "Robert, Don't go yet."

"No Katie, I won't bother you anymore. Good bye!"

"DAMN IT, BOBBY I SAID STOP!" Robert hesitated.

Mom Looked at him, "Give me awhile to think Robert, Give your number to Bobby. Let me think and maybe..."

Mom looked away again. Robert walked out the door, I followed, "She wants you number. I want answers."

"They're not my answers to give. This is between Katie and Me. Its my sin and my atonement all in one. Here." he gave me a card with his name on it and a phone number. "That's my land line." he said " If another guy answers, That will be Tony, My husband. Well not really, not in this state anyway. Just tell him your my nephew, I'll get the message."