Chapter 5

Well, the wedding went off without a hitch, and I managed to survive, though I wondered at times. Shit, the damned thing took hours to get through, I guess everybody had to get their money's worth. I didn't even know my new bride's name until just before the wedding, and I think I was told only because I had to say it a couple of times during the ceremony. It turned out that her name was Ai Chee, and it fit her perfectly. She was a little doll! Ai Chee was perfectly proportioned to my taste, neither too fat nor too skinny, and her breasts were just the right size for her tiny body. She was only 127 cm (4'-2") tall, so it was almost ludicrous the way I towered over her during the wedding.

Of course, it was not until we were in our bedroom that I saw any of those details about her body, but Ai Chee (Beautiful Bird) went out of her way not to disappoint me. She was a virgin, as evidenced by the bloody sheet which I had to toss out the door for all of the wedding guests to see, but she had been taught by masters of the sexual game on how to please a husband. Yes, I was indeed happy to be married to Ai Chee, and I hoped that my other wives did not get too jealous.

One other virtue she had was that she had learned to speak the Byzantine Greek that the rest of us used, so she was able to talk to the rest of my "tribe" from that first day. That went a long way toward smoothing over the rough spots. Her main difficulty was in learning to get along without all of the servants and slaves that she was used to, but Ai Chee managed that quickly enough. She even learned to clean house and cook, though that did take several months. My wives treated her more like a younger sister than a competitive wife, so we had a pleasant time that first few months of our marriage. They even accepted her turn in bed with me without grumbling, and Ai Chee taught them some of the tricks that she had learned from her sex tutors. It turned into a win-win situation, especially for me!

My tenure as shaman for the Olgars, as Chief Umgallah's people called themselves, was a blast for me. My first duty upon my first official visit to the Olgar camp was to call for the gods' intercession in favor of good hunting. Chief Umgallah wanted a staff similar in principle to the one I had made for Erkla's farm to be placed on his royal yurt.

Well, now, this was a real challenge. Suitable wood was hard to come by, but, by a fortunate chance, an especially pleasing stick three meters long and 12 cm in diameter had been received in trade about six weeks earlier. This was a heavy damned piece of wood, so I had to have help in getting it moved to the small yurt assigned to my use while I was in the camp. By the way, I was not expected to remain celibate while in the Olgar camp, so Ai Chee had joined me for the trip. This let her visit with friends and relatives she had been forced to abandon when she married me.

The point was, Ai Chee was absolutely convinced of my power as a shaman, so she directed the movement of the future totem into the yurt and personally closed off the door with a special curtain so that I would not be disturbed while I worked. She was the only one allowed to visit me inside the yurt, and she prepared all of my meals. Thank God, she was a quick study when it came to cooking!

Anyway, it took me four days to finish the carving, and I was pleased to note that I seemed to have a real talent for the job. I had carved in a kind of bas relief all kinds of prey animals and successful hunters up and down its full length. The rough work of the carving was quite acceptable, since it was far enough away from one's eyes that the flaws in my hasty carving were not obvious. Chief Umgallah wanted it mounted to the central support column of his yurt and to poke through the ceiling as high as it was safe for it to project. I guessed that one meter of its length bound to the support and two meters projecting through the roof was a safe combination.

The ceremonial mounting of the totem came on the fifth day. I explained that the gods were very busy, so they did not have time for a lengthy ceremony, so I didn't want the people to be disappointed at the brevity of the service. I did go a bit overboard and recited, in English, Robert Service's poem "The Shooting of Dan McGrew." I then bowed to the cardinal points and clapped my hands four times before declaring the service to be over.

I got a lot of cheering and admiring comments about the totem and my service. They were particularly impressed by the long speech in the language of the gods. I said that the long speech was necessary because the people moved around and my gods normally did not approve of that, but this was a special dispensation to the Olgars to keep the blessing in force, no matter where they journeyed. Chief Umgallah was especially happy to hear that.

That was the end of my stay at the camp for this month, so Ai Chee and I hurried home. For the good of my skin, I had dispatched a rider to tell my family what was going on as soon as I found out I was going to be away from home for more than three days. I am sure that my wives would have flayed me alive with stinging remarks if I had not warned them of the delay. As it was, I did receive several barbed comments about goofing off somewhere else when there was important work to be done at home. The important work was never specified, but I got the point. Truthfully, I was happy to hear that they had missed me.

A couple of weeks later, it was time for another auroch hunt, and Homer was feeling good enough that I sent him to invite the Olgars to join us. Homer brought back the word that hunters would join us in two days to make a full expedition out of it. Well, this was a little more than I had originally had in mind, but why not? I decided to take my whole family and Erkla's family, if they wanted to go. We had enough horses so that the adults could ride in saddles and the children too young for that could be transported in panniers.

Everybody with a voice was clamoring to go. Most of them rarely got a chance to venture away from home, so this was a great excuse for a glorious excursion. The wicker panniers were available to carry children and the necessary accouterments, so there was no reason not to take everybody. The farm did not need any current attention, so Erkla's entire brood was also eager to go. I figured that this would be a grand opportunity to have a hell of a lot of fun!

None of the women were overly pregnant, so they were all able to ride in reasonable comfort, especially since we now had stirrups, and I had made some modifications to the saddles. I had added some support for the lower back so that riding in the saddle was more like sitting in a chair with a padded back. This slightly changed the angle that the body made with the saddle, and the horses seemed to appreciate the change as much as the humans did. I had added a seat belt so that it was possible to sleep in the saddle without the danger of falling off the horse.

When the Olgars showed up, not only were Chief Umgallah and Wogal along, but there were a number of women who would do the actual butchering. Man, this party was getting bigger and bigger! There were 17 from my "tribe" and 70-75 Olgars. I wasn't sure how to count the Olgar contingent, since people were constantly showing up and others were leaving during the whole event.

We even spent our nights at the hunt site in yurts, since the Olgars brought enough for them and for us. I thought that this was a particularly nice gesture on their part. Our campsite, or maybe I should call it a small town, was situated on a small river. It was the biggest river for miles, in fact, it was the only river for miles in my opinion, but I bowed to local custom in the naming of natural features.

The first day was spent in getting our "town" set up, and a big celebration was held that night, including a couple of weddings I had to preside at. Well, you know that every job has its formal duties, and being shaman was no exception. As a special treat, I even recited "The Cremation of Sam McGee," in English, of course. The bridal couples especially appreciated that extra touch.