I watched my niece Amy wave goodbye to her parents until their car disappeared around the bend. She was smiling, but I knew something was wrong.
I had come to visit my brother Mike and his wife Judy for the long weekend. Back when I was married, the families used to socialize back and forth. My son Isaac was a couple years older than Amy, and lived mostly with his mother. Mike and Judy had helped me out a lot when I was going through my divorce.
Although for most of the weekend we were doing things with all four of us, her parents had taken advantage of the free babysitting to get some time away as a couple. They felt especially relaxed when I was sitting, they said, since they knew Amy liked me so much and we got along so well. They didn't feel the least bit guilty or worried, and that made for a special outing for them.
Amy shut the front door and trudged my way. She then flopped down on the couch beside me, her smile vanishing. It was 2:30 on a Saturday afternoon in June, the first weekend after school got out for the summer.
She gave a huge sigh and frown.
"Hi, Amy. Why so sad?"
"First the boys laughed at me, and then when I asked my parents, they laughed too!"
"Oh, dear! That sounds terrible. Tell me what's the matter."
I could see hope flicker on Amy's face, but it faded quickly. "You'll just laugh at me too!"
"No, Amy, I promise that no matter what you say, I won't laugh."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! No matter what you say, I promise to take you seriously."
Amy was my favorite niece, and I guess I was her favorite uncle. We only saw each other a couple times a year, but we had a rapport.
When you only see a child a couple times a year, you really notice the changes each time. I'd watched Amy grow from a crying bundle into a curious toddler, an energetic preschooler, and a happy-go-lucky young girl. I'd watched her get uncertain and shy as she got to middle school and watched her embarrassment with her growing and changing body. She had just turned 14, and was finally fully developed. Her lithe, athletic 5'4" body was topped by a head with shoulder-length light brown hair, gray eyes and a pretty smile.
"You sure you won't laugh?"
"OK." She sighed. "It started when I was going through the park, and there were a couple of little boys, like fourth grade maybe, and though their backs were to me, I could just see them peeing -- streams shooting way out, like this..." She demonstrated the arc of pee. "They were like 50 yards away, and I couldn't help stopping to look. And then the terrible thing was -- oh, God, this was so embarrassing -- Jacob and Bill saw me looking!"
"Who are Jacob and Bill?"
"They're juniors in my high school, best friends, and Jacob lives right next door." Her head jerked to show which side.
I knew Amy was just a freshman, and understood the status difference that implied.
She relayed the conversation:
"Whatcha looking at, Amy? Never seen a boy take a leak before?" That's what Jacob said. I bet I turned red, and they laughed.
And then he goes, "You know what they were really doing?"
I shook my head 'cuz I didn't know, not really.
"Ah, c'mon, no idea?"
"Peeing?" I said, 'cuz I had to say something.
"Well, duh!" said Jacob. "They're seeing who can pee the farthest. You wanna have a competition like that, the three of us? See who can pee the farthest?"
And I said, "No", and they laughed again.
"I bet I could do 10 feet, easy!" said Jacob.
"10 feet? What a wimp. I could do 10 yards, no problem!" said Bill.
"Yeah, right! What about you, Amy? How far can you pee?"
"She couldn't, she'd just dribble and wet her pants."
And then they both just laughed and walked away. I was so mad!
The boys sounded insensitive at best, and my dear niece sure looked unhappy. I saw no reason to laugh.
"I want a penis! I want one so bad!"
Now I could see some temptation to laugh, but I didn't. She was watching me carefully.
"Then when I told my parents that, they both laughed at me!" Lowering her eyes, she said, "I'm just so dumb and stupid."
"No, Amy, you're nothing of the kind! You want a penis -- there's nothing wrong with that."
"Really?" she said.
"I mean, you know most girls don't have one, so you're in the same boat with them, but there's nothing wrong with wanting one."
Amy smiled and scooted over next to me and gave me a big sideways hug. "Thanks, Uncle Mark! I hoped you'd understand!"
I freed my arm to put it around her shoulder, and she promptly climbed onto my lap and snuggled her right side against my chest.
Amy had been doing that since she was a little girl, and it felt nice. But she was now a sexy young woman, and I couldn't help noticing her that way too. Her hair smelled great. Fortunately I kept my reaction to my thoughts without it affecting my body.
I thought. How could I help Amy get a penis? There was a long pause.
Amy must have been thinking too. "You said most girls don't have one. Does that mean some do?"
"I guess a few have little ones." There were a few people who were kind of in the middle, right? And I'd seen some pictures of some pretty big, penis-like clits.
"I wonder if I'd know for sure. I've hardly ever really seen a penis anyway."
"Have your mommy and daddy looked to see if you have one?"
"Have you asked them to look?"
"No ... That would be SO embarrassing. They already laughed at me."
Amy's back was warm under my arm, and her side and cheek warm against my chest. Her hair smelled great. What I said next made me nervous.
"I've got an idea, Amy. Why don't we go to your room and you can show me. Maybe you've got one, like a little one, and just don't know it."
She looked up at me with surprise. "I'm not supposed to show anyone my private parts!"
"That's good you know to keep your privates private, but I'm not just anyone. I'm family! I'd be happy -- I mean willing -- to look." After a pause, I added, "Of course, only if you want me to."
I couldn't tell quite what mix of emotions was going through Amy's head as she looked up at me, but she suddenly said, "OK!" and bounced off my lap. I followed her.
"But Uncle Mark, you have to promise not to tell anyone! OK!"
"Of course, it'll just be our secret."
"Yes! I didn't laugh at you, right?"
"Yeah," she said, giving me a trusting smile.
She locked the door behind us once we were in her room.
"Oops!" she said, spying some underwear on the floor. "Don't look, OK?"
I pretended to shut my eyes until she'd thrown the underwear in the closet. She smoothed down the blankets on her unmade bed.
"OK, you want to show me?" I asked.
She didn't hesitate, but in one motion pulled her jeans and panties down to her knees. "See? No penis!"
Indeed, there was no penis showing. There was a modest tuft of light brown hair, but naturally everything else was hidden the way she was standing.
"Well, if there is one it's not very big, that's true. But it's hard to see this way. Why don't you take those off all the way and sit on the bed ... Good. And now, spread your legs a little so I can get a better look ... Yeah, it's pretty small if it's there at all." Her labia had opened just a little.
"You want to see a comparison? I could show you mine."
"Oh!" she said, startled, then continued with, "Yeah, that would be nice."
Without fanfare, I pulled off my own shorts and briefs and sat beside her. My penis was pretty small, almost all shriveled into my body. It was a bit chilly in the house for shorts, and my penis had reacted accordingly. Not much more than the tip was showing.
"Huh, it's not so big, I guess," she said. "Fat, but pretty short."
I didn't mind her evaluation in the least. As everyone with experience knows, it isn't the length in this condition that mattered.
"I have an idea. Have you heard of the power of mind over matter?"
"Um, sort of, maybe."
"Sometimes, if you concentrate really hard on something, you can make it happen by just thinking about it. So what if we sit here side by side on the bed..." I shuffled over so the outside of my bare right thigh was firmly against the outside of her left, and took her hand in mine.
"Now let's both close our eyes, and think really hard about you growing a nice, big penis," I said.
"OK!" she said.
So we sat. I was very aware of my niece sitting right beside me, naked from the waist down. I could feel her warm thigh pressing into mine, feel her soft hand in mine. I could just barely hear her breathing and detect a faint, delicious odor -- whether from her body or her girl's room, I wasn't sure, but it smelled great. I thought about Amy growing a penis -- which meant starting with visualizing her girl parts the way they were.
After a minute, I said, "OK, let's see what happened."
"Hey!" she said. "It's huge! What happened?"
She was referring to my penis, of course, not hers.
She spread her own labia but naturally saw no evidence of penis growth there. I was intrigued to see a little moisture and darker color.
"That's no good! Now I feel even worse. You have a big, long penis and I don't have one at all! It's not fair!"
She keeled over to her right and pounded her fist on the pillow a couple times before laying her head down and sniffling. "It's not fair! It's not fair!"
"Oh, Amy, I'm sorry," I said, patting her shoulder. "Let me think." After a moment, I said, "Well, maybe you've got one but it's just hiding. Can I take a closer look?"
"Well, OK," she said, sitting back up.
I knelt on the floor in front of her. "Spread your legs a little wider ... Good girl."
I studied the perfect skin of her inner thighs, her little tuft of pubic hair, and the feminine lips below it. I took one of her lips with the fingers of each hand and gently pulled it to the side so her tissues peeled back. There was a clitoris there somewhere, of course, but it didn't show. "Hmmm," I said, "I guess you're right, there's no sign of a penis anywhere."
"I knew it!" she said.
"But ... it's really very beautiful just the way it is, you know."
"Really?" she said, blushing a little, but she wouldn't be distracted. "But it's a penis I want!"
I sat back up next to her. My own penis was fully engorged. "Let me think a little more," I said, pondering.
After several seconds, she said softly, "Can I touch yours? Since I don't have one of my own?"
"Oh, sure, if you really want," I said nonchalantly.
Her hand slowly and reverently caressed me.
"It's so smooth and warm," she said.
"Yes, I guess it is," I said, as she enclosed the shaft in her warm hand.
"I've got an idea!" I said after a moment.
"Maybe we can make you one."
"Or buy one. I think they sell artificial penises."
"Let's measure ... First, let's find out where it starts," I said. "Like this." I took Amy's finger and poked it firmly against my body right at the upper side of my penis base. It hit bone. "Let's see where it would start on you."
I gently pressed my finger at a similar location on her body, and didn't feel any bone. Spreading her lips again with index and ring fingers, I gently probed with my middle finger. The flesh pressed inward but didn't give.
"Ouch," she said, and I withdrew immediately.
"We need to find where we'd have something hard to fasten it to. You want to do the exploring?"
"OK," she said, pressing against her own soft flesh. The tip of her finger slid inside. "What?" she said with shock. "There's a hole there!"
"Oh, dear!" I said. "A hole! That's not what we were looking for at all. We were looking for something that stuck out, and we have a hole instead?"
"Oh, this is getting worse all the time!" she said, anguish written on her face. "Not only don't I have a penis -- I have like a negative penis!" She took her head in her hands and started sobbing.
"There, there..." I said, patting her shoulder. A sexy niece can muddle a guy's thinking, and after a moment I added, "But that could be good in a way. Maybe we could get you a penis by anchoring it in that hole somehow."
"Well, yeah. Kind of like a pegboard. To get a peg to stick out, you put one end in the hole in the board."
"Oh, I see."
"So, how deep is the hole?"
She pressed and winced. "I don't know, my finger doesn't go in so well."
"Well, maybe if you just put it there and gently go in and out just as far as it goes comfortably, it will change."
"OK," she said. "Like this?" The tip of her middle finger was slowly sliding in and out. After a minute, I could see a dreamy smile on her face.
"Does it hurt?" I asked.
"No," she said. "No, not at all."
"You want to try getting it in a little farther?"
"OK." She pressed in more.
"Ouch!" she said. "Something tore!"
I put my arm around her shoulder and patted. "There, there..."
I said tentatively, "Well, you know, when you were a little girl and got a boo-boo somewhere, I know your mommy, um, kissed it and made it better."
She turned and looked at me, startled. "Ewwww!" she said, though was that a little twinkle in her eye?
"It feels a little better now," she said, and resumed her exploration. She got her middle finger in up to her second knuckle, and then began sliding slowly in, then out, then in again, back and forth.
"Hey!" she said, after a minute, pulling out her finger. "I wet myself!" Her finger was kind of juicy.
"Oh, dear," I said. "But not pee, right?"
"No, not pee, but it's still wet! My body is gross!" she said, withdrawing and flopping back on the pillow and pounding her fist.
"There, there," I said. "But hey, look on the bright side. Maybe it's that wet that helped you get your finger in a little more."
"Oh," she said, sitting back up. "Oh, maybe you're right." She poked into herself again, and as her finger came back out, juices came with it, soon making her inner lips slick. She mostly moved her finger in and out slowly to the depth she'd already gotten it, but now and then she'd push harder and I'd see more of her finger go in. Finally she scooted away from me on the bed to get her legs spread even wider, and mashed her hand against her privates, probing as deep as she could with her middle digit, then pulling it out a little. She kept doing that for a minute, her eyes glazed with a faint smile on her lips.
"So, does it hurt?" I asked finally.
"No! No, not at all!" she said, looking at me briefly before lowering her eyes, blushing. "But I can't feel the end. Do you suppose it goes like all the way up to my throat or something? Ewww!"
"Hmmm, I'm not sure."
"Hey, look, you did some wet too," she said, noticing the blob of pre-cum on my penis tip.
"Oh dear, I guess you're right," I said.
"But it's not pee, is it," she said.
"Nope, it's not."
"Can I ... can I ... never mind."
"You want to feel it?"
"Yeah. You wouldn't mind?"
"No, not at all."
My fully engorged member twitched when she touched the end.
"Oh!" she said.
"Don't worry, it does that sometimes."
She looked at the dab of precum she had on her finger, eying and sniffing it.
"I've got an idea," I said. "My finger's longer than yours. Maybe I could feel the deep end of your hole to get a good measurement?"
"OK," she said brightly.
"Why don't you lie back in the center of the bed so I can get a better angle."
"OK," she said, getting my meaning at once, and was shortly lying with her head on her pillow, legs spread wide.
"Let me know if it hurts at all," I said, then leaned over her and slid my finger into her slowly. She was slick and hot, and my finger oozed in sensually. Further and further in it went.
"That's further than I got mine!" she said at last.
"Does it hurt?"
I slid back and forth in the same rhythm she'd been using, and she smiled.
"Not at all!"
I took to exploring a little deeper with my finger each time. Finally my hand too was mashed against her outer parts and the tip of my finger hadn't reached the end of the hole.
"Still haven't found the end?" she asked.
"Nope," I said. "Maybe I should think some more," I said, slowly withdrawing my finger.
She grabbed it. "You could keep exploring while you think," she said with a significant smile. "Maybe it will manage to get in a little farther."
We stayed in that position for many minutes, me slowly sliding my digit in and out of her slick hole. Mostly she looked at my hand, but now and then she glanced up at me before quickly averting her gaze.
She lifted her right hand to her shirt over her right breast, felt, and said, "Huh."
"Something's sticking out up there. You don't suppose I have a penis up there? That would be weird."
"Yeah, I guess so. You want me to take a look?"
"OK," she said, sitting up to take off her shirt.
I thrilled at the different pressures this caused inside her hole, and did my best to keep going in and out at the same slow pace.
Then she stopped with her hand behind her back on her bra clasp. "You promise not to laugh at my boobies?" she said, looking at me in what I might have thought was a slightly seductive manner if I didn't know better.
"Of course not," I said.
"OK!" she said, and instantly removed her bra. "See, they stick out!"
Her breasts were fairly small, but perfect to my eyes. Indeed, her nipples did stick out more than I would have expected for a girl that age. "Yeah, they do. Do you suppose you can pee out of them?" I asked.
She looked at me and suppressed a giggle. "Let me try."
"Wait! Not here! You'll make a mess in your bedroom."
She paused just a moment. "Oh, that's OK, I'll clean it up if that happens," she said, grinning.
She concentrated a moment. I felt a slight squeeze in the mysterious hole my finger was sliding in and out of. But no pee came out of her nipples.
"What about your nipples. Can we do a comparison?" she asked.
"OK," I said, and started to withdraw my finger.
"Oh, but don't stop exploring!" she said, grabbing my hand once more and shoving it harder against her outer squishy girl parts than I'd ever done. "I'll do it."
She sat up, causing more changes in pressure in her hole, and making me press forward further to keep my finger from coming out. She grabbed the sides of my T-shirt and pulled up. I raised my free left arm, and with a giggle she managed to get the shirt up over my head and that arm, and then bunch it around my right elbow. She gently caressed my right nipple, making my penis twitch again. She noticed and smiled.
"Yeah, they're definitely smaller than mine."
"Yeah, I'd say so. No doubt about it. See, we're different."
"But boys don't have stick-out-your-nipple contests I could join, do they?"
"Nope, not that I've heard of. What about girls?"
"Nope, but we do notice how big each other's boobs are."
"Yeah, boys notice that too -- a lot."
I said, "So, back to measuring for that penis we're going to order for you..."
Her face fell.
I continued, "Even though I can't feel the end, maybe we don't need that. Maybe as long as we know it's deep enough, we'd have enough to anchor the inside part of the penis with."
"Yeah, maybe ... But what if it just keeps sliding in and in and in, and I'd lose the thing inside, like an infinite negative penis?"
"Oh, hmmm ... I think we can get a penis with a flat part in the middle that keeps it going in too far."
"Oh, I see ... maybe. But it would be safer if we could find out how deep it really is."
I kept sliding my finger in and out, and the seconds went by slowly. After some thought, I said, "Well, you know, Amy, penises aren't the only thing. It's kind of nice to have a hole, right?"
"Yeah, that's for sure!"
"It can feel nice, right?"
"Well, I don't think I have a hole," I pouted. "You want to check?"
"OK," she said, and leaned forward to reach under my testicles. Of course she didn't find anything until she reached the outskirts of my butt hole. "There is this..." she said.
"But that's different!" I said. "You know that. We both have one of those."
"Yeah, you're right. But it's still a hole."
"Not one that can make me feel good like you have."
"I'd like a hole like that."
"Well, yeah, if it can make you feel so good."
"Huh. So you're better in the penis department, and I'm better in the hole department?"
"Yeah, it looks that way. And in the nipple department."
"Yeah. But I'd still like to get my penis."
"And I think we should find out how deep my hole really is."
"What do we have that's longer than your finger?"
"Hmmmm ... you have a ruler?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry." My penis twitched.
"Oh!" she said, as if surprised, and pointed at it. "That's longer."
"Oh, yeah, I guess it is! But it's a lot fatter too."
"Yeah, I see, but I think maybe it would fit. You think my finger would fit inside my hole along with yours? That would be wider."
She shifted my hand to the side so the top of her hand was against the top of mine and slid in, our middle fingers nail-side towards each other.
"See, it fits!" she said, and began sliding in and out a little faster. I matched her rhythm with my finger. Her eyes closed, her face slack with pleasure. "Let's see if your penis fits the wide way, and then if that works you can try to find out how deep the hole really is."
She removed her finger, and I started to withdraw mine, but she grabbed it once more. "No, yours stays in!"
"Um, OK," I said, and paused briefly. But I then started to maneuver around to mounting position, while keeping the finger in the hot, slick hole where she wanted it.
"Oh, yeah, hmmm, we'll have to get really close together," she said. "You think you can manage it?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"You don't mind being that close to me?"
"No, not at all!" I said as I began to lower myself onto her, my finger still slowly going in and out of her hole.
"Are you ready?" I asked. "Ready to try the new measuring device?"
"Yes!" she said.
I started to slide my finger out.
"But don't take that out!' she said once more.