Chapter 8

I had listened to Jerry tell me all about what was being done to rectify my house, but I hadn't heard a thing about who was shot and what happened after I passed out that second time.

"Ok Jerry, you've beat around the subject long enough. Tell me what happened after I passed out at the barn."

"Well, umm Jon, I don't know quite how to tell you the rest. Bill says I should just tell you, but I really don't feel comfortable doing it that way."

"Dammit Jerry, just tell me!"

"The man you shot in the barn opening was named Spiros Richards. The other person, they found her bled out about a half mile away near an old pickup. Her name was Marianne Homes, your ward Sally's mother. She was armed with a pistol."

"Have you told Sally yet, Jerry?"

"No way, Jon, but it's all over the news and she is bound to hear it sooner or later. The best the Marshals could figure, was that they were trying to steal Sparky and maybe kidnap Sally. When they saw you walking toward the barn, we know that Spiros cut the horse's throat to quiet him down. He then waited and opened fire on you when he thought you were close enough. We will really never know why they were out there, but that is the theory the local law enforcement put together. I'm sorry, Jon, it had to be you that killed them, but it was them or you."

"Yea I know Jerry, but how am I supposed to tell Sally I shot and killed her mother? She'll never forgive me and I don't blame her."

He just looked at me funny as I lay back thinking about what he had told me. My God, how would I ever explain this to Sally? With her prom and the death of Sparky, and now her mother all in the short time I had been back. She would hate me for the rest of her life. Maybe I should have left her with her step father, and maybe her mother would have come back to get her from him, or maybe I should have never paid her mother off to sign her daughter away. There were a lot of maybes, but it was all that was going through my mind at the present time. I had made mistakes in my life, but nothing that hurt as much as this was hurting me now.

Jerry left the room but I didn't even see him leave, I was so deep in thought. I was wondering what I was going to do now. Sally was the only thing that had kept me here after my grandfather had died, and now she would hate me and probably never want to see me again. As I lay there, I did something I hadn't done for years, I cried in my self pity and frustration over the unjustness of it all. All I had wanted to do was to help a little girl have a better life without being abused. How had it all gone so wrong?

I got up and grabbed the clothes Myrna had brought me and got dressed. Then I walked out of the hospital headed for the nearest bar. I found one about three blocks from the hospital and took a table way in the back. I ordered a fifth of whiskey and a glass and sat and drank. I had finished the first fifth and started on the second when two local officers came in the door. They checked out the bar and left so I figured they were just on their rounds. I was sitting at the table about half passed out when I realized there were three women standing at my table looking down at me. I looked up and there stood my girls, looking mad enough to beat the hell out of me if I was able to talk. Fortunately I was too drunk to be able to speak coherently. I just took another drink and sat back and waited to see what they had to say. They all sat down at my table and I had to lean back because I was too drunk to hold my head up.

Of course it was Myrna who started, as I figured she would.

"Mista Jon, why you in hea gettin drunk when you is supposed to be in de hospital?"

I thought about it for a moment and just grinned at her. Wham! I couldn't believe it, Sarah had smacked me so hard I almost fell off the chair I was sitting on. I straightened up and took another drink and then grinned at her too. They were all looking at me like I had two heads or something. Tiny came up to the table and took one look at me and picked me up like I was a baby then took me out to his limo. He sat me in the front seat and told the girls to get in the back. By the time we pulled out, I was asleep from all the booze. If you're maybe wondering how I remembered all of this, I didn't. Tiny gave it to me the next day, play by play. I didn't remember a damn thing other than I woke up in a soft bed with a splitting headache, wondering where the hell I was at.

I sat up, wondering why I wasn't in the hospital. Then I remembered leaving and going to a bar to have a drink after I found out that I had killed Sally's mom. I got up and my shoulder felt like it was on fire. I used one hand to splash some cold water on my face and looked in the mirror at my bloodshot eyes. Damn, how much had I drunk last night I wondered, and where am I now? I hope I didn't pick up some hooker or something, I thought as I heard voices coming into the room. I grabbed a robe that was hanging on the bathroom door. I didn't have anything on but my underwear. Tying it was a bitch with one arm, but somehow I managed. I heard Sarah calling my name, so I went out the bathroom door to catch the hell I knew was coming.

I walked out and all three of the girls were there as was Tiny, setting coffee and breakfast on a table I hadn't noticed. I went over and sat down, sipping the black coffee Sarah had poured. They were all looking at me like I was a freak and at this point, I felt like one.

"Jon, whatever possessed you to walk out of the hospital and get drunk?"

I turned to Sally with tears in my eyes and just said: "I'm sorry Sally."

She just looked at me and ran around the table, hugging me and crying on my shoulder. I just hugged her back and cried my own tears, thinking I had lost her now.

"Oh Jon, please don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known who was shooting at you. We all knew last night who was dead, 'cause that little runt, as you called him, couldn't wait to tell us. I don't blame you for what happened, Jon, I blame her. All these years she could have contacted me or written, or even come to visit. But no, she and her so called boyfriend tried to kill the only father I have ever had. Jon, I love you like you are my real dad and that won't change because of this. I have talked to Sarah and thought about it all night, and it still doesn't change the fact that she was never there, even when my step dad used to beat me. I still remember how he treated me and if not for you, he probably would have sold me to one of his friends or something. I love you Jon, and don't ever think I don't. Everything I am and have is because of you and your love for me. To me, that's more important than an absent mother that couldn't even take the time to let me know she was alive. Jon, I do want you to take me to her funeral, because it's the right thing to do for us both to heal."

I leaned back and looked in her tear filled eyes and hugged her to me before I spoke.

"I thought when you found out you would hate me, Sally. I will take you, but I still can't forgive myself for what happened. When you graduate from high school, I am going back to France to live. I have had my fill of this country. When you start college I will give you the farm and move back."

Myrna was looking at me in shock and Sarah had a strange expression on her face, but neither one of them said another thing. Sally climbed down and breakfast was a silent meal. When I got up and asked Tiny where my clothes, were the girls went out. That's when Tiny gave me a play by play of last night.

"Jon, I have liked you since I first met you, but this news will tear your family apart. Sarah is deeply in love with you, whether you realize it or not, my friend. Myrna thinks you walk on water and she had a fit when Sarah slapped you. She threatened to take her outside and whip her ass if she touched you again. I have never seen her so mad at anyone. She took Sarah into one of the rooms and yelled at her for over an hour. I didn't catch all that was said, but I will almost be willing to bet Sarah gets her own place real soon, cause Myrna is not the forgiving type. Sally and I had a long talk about what happened, and she just kept saying over and over, it wasn't your fault. Jon, you were almost catatonic last night when I carried you out. How damn much did you have to drink?"

"I don't know, Tiny. All I remember was the shock when Jerry told me I had shot and killed Sally's mother. I don't even remember leaving the hospital, to tell you the truth. I haven't had that much to drink since I went on a three-day bender when I lost my squad in Algiers."