Chapter 4

"I asked her to marry me," Mannie said, sitting in Peter's office after supper, "she ... got me to admit how I felt for her."

"And?"

"And she said, 'of course'. Then she added, 'when I'm eighteen'."

"Sensible. She'd not get parental permission, and we can't give it. Has she spoken about her family?"

"Only that they didn't want her and that's why she's living with you."

"Well, it's for her to tell you about them, not that I know very much anyway. Mannie, it's been pretty obvious since, well, the moment you met, that there's something pretty intense between the two of you. I'm grateful you've clearly not been pushing her, letting her take her own time. In fact, I suspect you've been going slower than she wanted."

"She said something like that."

At about the same time, Rosie was talking to Dulcie.

"He's ... such a gentleman. I get the feeling I'll have to take the initiative all the time. But I love him, I really do. I mean, I look at him, I try to see him ... what you say, objectively? He's nothing special to look at, is he? But he's good, inside. I can see it. I can feel it. He makes me feel safe, a bit like you and Peter, but not quite."

"But?"

"It's not exactly a 'but'..."

Dulcie looked at her steadily. "Let me tell you something. I'm not ... you may have noticed ... exactly conventional. Some people believe that a sacrament is of value in and of itself; I don't. It is 'an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace'. Without the inward spiritual grace, the sacrament is of little or no value, except in as far as it leads people into that grace. Do you follow?"

"I ... think so."

"So ... receiving communion is only meaningful insofar as it is a sign of a person's relationship with God, for example."

"Okay..."

"Well, marriage is a sacrament. At least, the ceremony is a sacrament. It only becomes a reality when it is consummated, which is why even the Romans allow annulment of a marriage that is not consummated."

"And so..."

"The sexual act creates a spiritual link, which is why St. Paul tells us we should not be joined to a prostitute. If you change your mind afterwards, it doesn't remove that link. 'A man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to the woman, and they shall become one flesh.' One advantage of the ceremony is that it formalises the link."

"I'm not sure where you're going with this..."

"I think you're working up to asking if you should make love with Mannie."

Rosie blushed, hotly. "Oh..."

"Were you?"

"Well ... I suppose ... yes."

"Knowing your background, I don't think this is impulsive..."

Rosie shook her head.

"So, what I'm saying to you is, be very careful, be very sure of what you're doing. I don't want you hurt and I don't want Mannie hurt, either. I think he's probably exactly the man you need. One word of warning ... don't take him for granted. Oh, and be discreet."

Rosie's eyes widened. It sounded as though...

"Don't ask," Dulcie added, "I don't want to know."

Rosie had another problem to face when she'd finished talking to Dulcie, so she went in search of her friend. "Emma, I, er..."

"It's okay, Rosie. I understand, I really do. I can't see what you do in him, but that's just as well, isn't it? I think he's kind and good and gentle, and I think you'll be fine together. I'll be a little lonely, I expect, but I won't snitch on you."

Rosie gasped. "Emma!"

"Don't be silly, Rosie." She reached out and folded the other girl in her arms. "You know I love you, don't you? Not like Carli and Jen, but I want you to be happy. I'm sure there's someone for me out there, somewhere. I'll know when I meet him, just like you did."

Rosie lay in bed that night, sleepless. Emma's quiet, steady breathing showed she was hard asleep, but Rosie was awake and knew perfectly well she wasn't going to sleep any time soon, something that happened every so often. Sometimes she would get up, go downstairs and make tea, read a book, perhaps have a slice of toast. Sometimes, particularly when she first got to the Rectory, she'd slip into Emma's bed and cuddle with her. That night, she lay there gathering courage. Taking a deep breath, she slipped out of bed and put on a gown, went along to the bathroom, then, instead of returning to her own bed, went to Mannie's door and tapped, tentatively, on it. Not getting a response, she took a decision, quietly opened the door and entered. The Rectory was liberally supplied with night-lights, so at night it was unnecessary to switch lights on in order to move around safely and quietly; she could see the lump in bed that was Mannie. He, like Emma, was breathing steadily and quietly.

She closed the door after her, crossed the room, took off the gown, then with a shrug, her pyjamas, lifted the edge of the duvet and slipped into the bed behind him.

He stirred and mumbled in his sleep, but didn't wake as she snuggled up behind him, draped her arm over him and just relaxed, breathing in the scent of him. Content, she never realised she'd crossed the boundary of sleep as her breathing, too, took on the rhythms of slumber.

Mannie stirred sometime in the small hours; he turned in the bed, brought to semi-consciousness by Rosie's presence there. Hardly aware of what he was doing, he wrapped his arms around her before dropping off again.

When he woke in the morning it was still quite dark – the night-lights gave sufficient illumination to see the shape of her head, but he didn't need vision to know it was Rosie; he had touch and smell. He brushed her hair back from her face with his fingers.

"Rosie, darling?"

"Mmmmm?"

"I love this, but shouldn't you be going back to your own bed?"

"'S'alrigh..." she slurred, "Isss covered..." and wriggled, if anything, closer, before placing his hand on her breast and finding his penis with her hand. He groaned.

"Doancha like it?"

"I love it, sweetheart."

"Good..."

Rosie, having to go back to her own room to dress, was later to breakfast than Mannie. If anyone was aware of their changed status, the fact she'd spent the night in his bed, that would not have misled them at all, but no-one commented, though Emma smiled and winked surreptitiously when she caught Rosie's eye; Rosie blushed and concentrated on her breakfast.

Mannie's day off the previous day meant he had to work. When Dulcie asked, "Anyone got plans for the day?"

Rosie quietly said, "I thought I'd walk up to the library with Mannie. Perhaps I could do some shopping on the way back. Is there anything we need?"

With a slight smile, Emma added, "I'll wash up and do some laundry, then I think I'll go for a walk this afternoon."

"Hospital visiting," Peter said, "after Matins."

"I'll give you a list, Rosie," Dulcie said, getting up from the table. "Emma, I'm free this afternoon. Perhaps I might join you?"

"I'd like that," Emma smiled.

They went their separate ways, and Rosie walked hand in hand with Mannie up the High Street. Outside the library they shared a sweet kiss.

"It was ... lovely ... waking up with you, Rosie," Mannie spoke a little awkwardly. "I, er, just wanted to say, I don't mind waiting until we're married to, you know ... I mean, I want to, but..."

Rosie smiled up at him – actually, it was more of a grin - "Do you think I don't want to make love to you? I'm ready. I want to. I'm on the pill." Then, more seriously, "But if you're not sure? Please don't ... I don't think you're the sort of person who would let me down, but don't ... make love to me ... if you're not quite sure..."

Mannie caressed her cheek. "I thought no girl would ever be interested in me," he said quietly, "but then I met you. You're beautiful, smart and caring and you say you love me. Well, I love you too. I tell you, whatever you want, if I can do it or give it, it's yours."

Rosie stretched up and kissed him softly. "I'll see you tonight."

"Would you like to go out for a meal?"

She beamed. "I'd love to!"

"Tell Dulcie and Peter, will you?"

"Sure! Now, go on, or you'll be getting the sack." She stretched up for another peck on the lips; he held her briefly.

"As you say."

At lunch-time, instead of huddling in the staff kitchenette to eat his sandwiches, Mannie took a walk up the High Street. One of the places he visited was an estate agent.

Dulcie and Emma strolled along the prom. "Do you mind? About Rosie and Mannie?" Dulcie spoke quietly, tentatively.

Emma didn't answer immediately. Dulcie was about to say something else, thinking she'd touched a nerve, but Emma spoke before she could. "A little. Just a little. Feel maybe a little sorry for myself. But – I told Rosie, I want her to be happy. You know Carli and Jen?"