Chapter 9: The Hosts

After Julie left that morning, Cassie couldn't muster the motivation to do any shopping, let alone by herself.

She was still feeling weepy.

Instead, she had spent the day on the couch, trying to read through all of her survey results and getting them together in her head.

The results were clear-cut.

The women had been cheating.

She wished that she could be more like Julie, and bury herself in work.

It was hopeless.

She'd never been through a real break-up.

Not that this was a real break-up, as Julie and Cassie had never actually been together, but it felt real enough to her.

She just couldn't think, and she couldn't achieve anything.

Julie rang at about five thirty to say that she was going out to dinner with a doctor from the hospital, Anjolie Lalitha.

Cassie remembered the name.

She was the pretty one, Gabby had said.

At that point, it seemed obvious to Cassie that Julie simply didn't care about her, not one bit.

The apartment they both shared together now seemed like a bit, fat, lie.

She couldn't bear it. Tonight she would be lying lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for Julie to come home, or not, and, then, being in her room, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, with someone next door who already seemed like a stranger.

But there was an alternative.

It was Sheyda's last day of treatment at the hospital.

Cassie had got to know her well over the last few weeks, and, despite the fact that Sheyda saw Cassie first and foremost as potential host-form, she had been engaging to talk to. Her body language was pure seduction, and she had spent much of the time with Cassie in light-hearted flirting.

With her plans for today devoted to Julie, Cassie had resigned herself to not seeing Sheyda at the hospital before she was cured.

But those plans were gone now.

The pass-card Gabby had given to her would let her in at any hour of the day.

Or night.

There was still time to see Sheyda, and she could sleep at the hospital again, with its lights, and a constant feeling of busyness.

It was a perfect antidote to her crushing loneliness.

Anything was better than staying here.

When Cassie arrived at the hospital, the security guards were still there at the X-ray machine. They knew Cassie well by now, and she was through in only a few seconds.

It was quiet on a Saturday night.

With their work completed, the University people didn't need to spend so much time at the hospital, and life for them would soon be returning to normal.

Gabby was working more like her usual hours, and had told Cassie that she'd been spending a lot of time with Stefan. He'd moved into her apartment.

Cassie guessed that quite a few people would be trying out the new uni bar, which Julie and Cassie had planned on visiting tonight.

Another plan cancelled.

Cassie would have liked to have seen the twins, but didn't feel like sharing them with a bunch of strangers, and didn't feel like drinking.

Here was best for her right now.

She waved to the single nurse at reception, let herself into a lift, beeped her pass card, and hit the button to the first floor, Gabby's lab.

She would give herself protection, go in to see Sheyda, and talk to her, maybe even sleep with her.

Each time Cassie had been to visit her, Sheyda had made it quite clear that she was interested.

As Cassie picked the jar of protective ointment, she held it, and stared at it.

She knew that her life was hopeless.

Without Julie, her life outside was forfeit.

After tonight, what would she do with herself now?

She realised then that Eve had set her up.

She had tried to push Cassie and Julie apart, and, eventually, she had succeeded.

Eve had known Cassie's fascination for parasites, and had thrown her amongst the wolves.

Eve must have realised Cassie's love for Julie was doomed. Cassie had been holding out for years, waiting for Julie, but she knew now that waiting was hopeless, that Julie was hopeless.

Because Julie would never love anyone.

Cassie felt like kicking herself.

Everyone had guessed the truth but herself.

Eve had set Cassie up with an impossible task. Doing the surveys was a crazy idea. Cassie was lost in a blizzard of standardised psychology tests, and interviews with hundreds of women. With normal women, with infected women, with cured women, their words, and their thoughts, and their moods, were all buzzing around in Cassie's head, totally aimlessly, totally formlessly.

Cassie knew that the cured women were not normal. They were too kind, they were too attentive, they were too diligent.

They were attractive.

They were dangerous.

And they had cheated.

Cassie's heart began to hammer in her chest, and she put the jar down down again.

She would not use protection tonight.

She would give herself to the worms.

There would be more clinics opening in Australia, she knew that, needing more hosts.

Oh, it would be sweet. It would be so, so, sweet, giving herself to the worms. Giving herself up to an alien intelligence would salve her hurt. She could spend the rest of her days with a family of women, unable to do anything except loving each other, spawning creatures bred to possess women's minds.

Her own, original, family were a bunch of fundamentalist Christians. They had dispossessed her when she had come out to them as a teenager, and she had lost everything.

She didn't have many close friends. She had given away all of her friendships to get closer to Julie.

So much for that.

Again, she had lost everything.

Still, Cassie thought, that leaves no barriers in the way. I can have my one remaining heart's desire, and leave society with a clear conscience. I have many options, and I have made my choice.

Cassie beeped herself into the secure area, and walked over to the second bank of lifts, her legs like jelly.

She had made a commitment, one of the most potent in her life, on a whim.

But was it a whim?

Ever since Eve had set her to work, she must have seen this as a possibility. If she was honest with herself, Cassie had been considering giving herself to the worms ever since she had heard about them, since she had heard all of the crazy theories, and read the stories.

Perhaps Eve knew that this was the end for Cassie, who would not, or could not, resist the temptation that had been placed before her.

When Cassie entered the ward, Sheyda's bed was empty.

Cassie looked around. The eyes of all the women were upon her.

Cassie's eyes alighted on a pair of young women, sitting on a bed, holding hands, staring at Cassie, and whispering to each other.

They stood tall, and faced her. Still holding hands, they walked towards her, smiling.

They flanked her, and lightly held her arms.

Cassie shivered. The touch of infected women was always so inviting.

"Cassie, welcome back. Come, talk to us. Stay here with us."

Cassie fended them off.

"Please, no. Not now. I want to see Sheyda. Where is Sheyda?"

Two more women came up behind Cassie's back, and gently wrapped their arms around her torso.

"Cassie, you want a master. I can tell that you are ready for your master. We will take you to Sheyda. But we will prepare you first.

"Yes?"

Cassie hesitated, but nodded.

As the four pairs of hands lightly held her, she felt the tendrils move across the back of her neck, where they rested.

She didn't struggle.

"Please," Cassie said, "I want to see Sheyda. Not like this, please, not like this."

"It is right that Sheyda should take you." said one of the women. "We will take you to her."

"But free flesh likes to be played with. Free flesh is to be enjoyed.

"When you are host-form, the memories of being taken are so delicious."

Cassie nodded.

It was nice being held.

When the sting finally arrived, a woman bent forward to kiss her, and Cassie responded, opening her mouth, wanting more.

The sting had hurt, but it was only a prelude.

The sting began to glow in her neck, then her back, and spread through her torso. It was welcome, but not overwhelming.

All the women in the ward were staring at her, and were smiling at her, remembering the time when they themselves had been taken.

Cassie was feeling a little unsteady on her feet, and someone took her pass out of her handbag. She was led over towards the lifts, where a woman used her pass to call one.

The patients were imprisoned here, as none could leave without a pass, but it was Cassie who felt like the prisoner as she was walked into the lift, and her own pass used to punch the button for the top floor.

The hosts.

Sheyda was with the hosts.

It was her last day.

Of course she would be with the hosts.