Chapter 2: Maryanne

Maryanne was a loner.

She had been all her life. She'd never had any real friends, and her parents had died when she was young.

She'd hated her foster parents, all of them, and muddled through school, her own personal issues always dominating her emotional landscape. She surprised herself by finishing her year twelve certificate, but was not ambitious, and soon found herself working as a shop assistant.

Although she was competent enough, and had never really been sacked, she'd had more jobs than she could remember, all of them much the same. She had enough money to make ends meet, but she didn't know what to expect from life, she had no plan.

Maryanne was pretty enough to have been pursued by a good number of boys, and had acquiesced to a few of them. Although she loved to read romance novels, and liked the idea of being in love, she had never felt anything particularly special for any of her boyfriends. Inevitably, each one had drifted away, leaving her alone.

She was only 25, but every day, she had been feeling more and more tired, and had not felt well for months.

She had visited many doctors, and all, except the last, had thought that she was a malingerer, and that there was nothing wrong with her.

The final diagnosis of breast cancer hadn't actually surprised her very much.

She had cried, on and off, for a few days after finding out, and again when they discovered secondary tumours on her spine. The cancer had metastasised, which basically meant that she was a goner, but she accepted her treatments, took her pain pills, and trudged through life as she always had done.

Her apathy astonished even herself.

She only had a month or two left when fortune smiled upon her.

She was asked if she wanted to participate in a trial of a new radiotherapy technique at the new Lennox Hospital.

She had accepted, meekly.

She realised that it couldn't cure her, nothing could, but it might give her a few more months, and it might give the doctors enough information to help cure some other young woman, perhaps more deserving than herself...

She had already lost a lot of weight, and all her hair was gone now from the chemo, but she signed the forms, and waited, and a date eventually turned up in the mail.

It was a Sunday afternoon in July when she took her first, and last, taxi to Lennox Hospital for her scheduled treatment.

What else could she do?

The new hospital didn't look properly open yet, and Maryanne was pleasantly surprised when she found only one person present, the doctor who had discussed her treatment with her over at Canberra Hospital in Woden.

Maryanne recalled the doctor's name: Lucille Kelly.

Doctor Kelly was American, but had one of those pleasing East-coast accents that seemed very knowledgeable and trustworthy. At their first meeting, Lucille had spent several hours with her to explain the treatment and put her mind at rest, and had always treated Maryanne kindly, and with respect, for which Maryanne was very grateful.

Today Doctor Kelly greeted her with a cheerfulness that Maryanne herself couldn't feel.

"Good afternoon, Maryanne. You're the fourth patient today, but you'll be the last one for a little while. We don't have the clinic properly operational yet, but we both know that you can't wait any longer.

"Maryanne, this clinic is on the site of the old Canberra hospital.

"Aborigines didn't like coming to this place. They saw it as cursed, because so many people have died here.

"But when the National Museum was opened at the end of the peninsula, the traditional owners held ceremonies to clear out the bad spirits, to restore their land.

"They didn't want us opening Lennox Hospital, but it's in a perfect position. In any case, I don't think the traditional owners need worry. If I have my way, everyone who visits this hospital well be sent home in perfect health. You're quite safe with me."

Maryanne thought that Lucille was joking, and smiled, wanly. She knew that she would not die today, but she also knew that she was not long for this world.

"I'll help you get into your gown, and I'll be operating the machine by myself today. It's fully automatic, so there's very little for me to do.

Maryanne accepted Lucille's offer to help her change, and, being quite weak, she needed assistance to get onto the gurney, too.

Lucille gave her some pills in a little paper cup, and another, bigger, cup with some water.

"Just a little Valium to keep you happy. It won't affect your pain meds."

Maryanne took the pills and swallowed.

"As we discussed," Doctor Kelly explained, "I will need to place a small tattoo on your back. It's just a fiducial mark, to give the machine a home position before it starts scanning and killing off the cancer cells."

Lucille showed Maryanne a photograph of another patient's back to refresh her memory. The tattoo was small, about an inch long, and showed the Rod of Aesculapius, carefully rendered as a red staff and a black snake, recognisable everywhere as a symbol of medicine and healing.

"I think it's quite cool, don't you?" said Lucille.

The tattoo only took a few minutes to apply, and Lucille seemed quite skilled.

She chatted away throughout, and it did take Maryanne's mind off the buzzing. Although the pain of the tattoo needle was dulled by her pain meds, it was still quite irritating.

"Hey, Maryanne, don't tell anyone I can do this, otherwise all the bikies will be coming in here to get one.

"It took me longer to learn how to tattoo than to use the gamma source!

"But that's only because the machine is so easy to use. It's absolutely foolproof, no need to worry."

Maryanne tried to smile, but she was feeling as morose as ever, and the Valium and pain meds didn't leave her much head-space for humour.