Chapter 2: A novice bounty hunter

I spent the night in a decent hotel, but the bed cost me two-bits (25¢). That made it look like I was going to need $1 per day just to live reasonably comfortably in this time. In that case, I had better start looking for crooks to capture. There did not seem like much chance of finding crooks wandering around in downtown Phoenix, so I was going to need a horse. I needed one to move around the countryside and to get from town to town.

I would not classify myself as a very good judge of horseflesh, but I did the best I could when I got what looked like a useable horse and tack for $26 after a lot of haggling. Haggling was something that I was good at, so I figured that I was not cheated too badly.

The town I had lived in did not exist in 1876, so there was no point in heading in that direction. Instead, for lack of a better choice, I decided to head for Tucson. I hoped to get lucky somewhere along the way. There were two kinds of humans that I had to be wary of: hostile Indians who were of no monetary value to me and crooks who could buy my next meal if they were on a wanted poster. Even if he were not on a wanted poster, a bandit could provide me with cash and items that I could sell. For that mater, I could sell an Indian's horse, too, so I might get by with them.

It was going to take me many days to reach Tucson, and there were not many, if any, hotels or restaurants on the way, so I was forced to take food and blankets with me. I found a helpful clerk in a general store who was willing to show me what I needed, and I got it at a fair price. I was not happy about camping out, but there was no real alternative. Dammit, a car and a motel would be helpful about now!

That clerk convinced me that I could live off of jerky, dried fruit, and coffee for the time it would take me to reach Tucson. I took him at his word and wound up with a reasonably small bundle that my horse could carry without too much complaint.

I left in the morning as soon as the sun came up. That alone pissed me off, but I had to do something to miss the worst of the heat of the day. I was told that the weather would cool off some once I got well away from Phoenix. Those people, even back then, were aware that Phoenix was the hottest place to live in the Arizona Territory. I do not know how they did it without air conditioning, and I was glad to escape!

I found some shade during the middle of the day and took a siesta just like every other rational person did. I probably showed that I was a tenderfoot by staying in the shade until nearly 3:00 o'clock. Dammit, I was used to air conditioning and was not adapted to being outside in this kind of weather! I know my horse appreciated the break from walking in the heat.

I mounted and had not ridden more than 500 yards when I was accosted by a man pointing a gun at me. "Stand and deliver!" was a command that I recognized from the stories that I had read. I raised my hands and sat in my saddle looking as stupid as I thought that I could get away with. The bandit said, "Give me your money, or I will shoot you and take it anyway!"

I was in a bind, and I had to think fast. My only weapon was the shotgun, and I could not reach it quickly with my hands raised. Dammit, I had to come up with a solution to that problem if I was to live through this! I said, "My ... my money is in my saddlebag. Do ... do not shoot me, and I will dismount to get it." I hoped that the bandit would take me for a congenital idiot and let me move my hands without shooting me.

I was in luck, and he waved me to the ground. Fortunately, he was on my right side, and one always dismounted on the horse's left if at all possible. Some horses actually got real fractious if the rider tried to dismount on the wrong side. My shotgun was slung over my left shoulder and draped across my body, so I put my hands down as if I were about to grasp the saddle horn and the cantle (back part of the saddle).

The bandit seemed to relax as I moved. I guess that he figured that I was too dumb to be a danger. I noticed that and moved as fast as I could to grab my shotgun and twist it around to point at him. Still moving as fast as I could, I released the safety and fired at the bandit. We were so close that every one of the nine pellets hit him in the belly in a very tight grouping. He was almost literally torn in two!

His pistol went off and the bullet went flying into the desert as his upper body fell toward the ground and dragged his lower body with it. Of course, he was dead before he hit the ground. When nine .33 caliber bullets hit you like that, your body is going to shut down, no matter what other opinion you might have on the subject.

I dismounted and recovered the empty shell. I had decided that there was a good chance that I would have to reload my own shells, and I wanted to hang on to the the plastic shells as long as I could. Metallic cartridges were available in 12-gauge at this time, but I was not certain that they would fit my shotgun. It dawned on me that I needed to find that out as soon as I came across a gun shop.

My next chore was to loot the body of the bandit and to determine if he was on a wanted poster. I was in luck in one respect: no slug had hit the bandit's moneybelt, though it was covered with blood and shit. Holding my breath against the stink, I cut it off the bandit's body and dumped it onto the ground. You can bet that I wiped my hands real good on the dead man's shirt before I went through the pile of money. I was really in luck! I found $347 in gold and silver coins and bars. That was going to put me on easy street for at least six months! He also had some loose change in his pockets, and that added up to $5.29.

Oh, Man, my luck was really earning its keep today! The pistol he was using was a .44 caliber Starr DA (double-action). That I was going to take for myself! I had not seriously considered getting a pistol before now because I was afraid that I would be too clumsy with a single-action where I had to cock the hammer as a separate operation before I pulled the trigger. The Starr DA made that unnecessary, and I was going to start working with it as soon as I finished here.

The bandit was using a thigh holster, but I planned to use a shoulder holster as soon as I could get one. Therefore, I was not going to worry about my drawing speed in my initial practice, just in my shooting accuracy. The pistol was already converted to use the Henry rifle .44 metallic cartridge ammunition, so I did not have to worry about that.

Even I could tell that the bandit's horse was superior to mine, so I swapped immediately after I wiped the blood and shit off of the saddle. I also found a Bowie knife and a derringer also modified to use the Henry ammunition. Hell, this guy was a walking gold mine! On top of everything else, he was worth $25 as a wanted man.

I did not want to carry around half a body until I could find a marshal to take it off my hands, so I used the Bowie knife to cut off his head. That was all I needed for identification, and I wrapped that in a blanket scrap that I had been using to wipe my ass after I took a shit. I tied the blanket wrap to the horn of the empty saddle after I dragged the body remnants to the side of the road.

It dawned on me after I got started away from the holdup site that I should concentrate on getting my receipt for the head before it began to decompose. If the decomposition went too far, no marshal was going to believe who the head belonged to. There was reputed to be a little town about 12 miles farther down the road, so I headed for it at a gentle lope. I should get there in about 90-120 minutes.

Well, New Hope was more than 12 miles away or I did not move as fast as I expected because it was near to supper time when I got to town. I stopped in at a saloon and asked if there was a marshal in town. The bartender directed me to a man who was sitting at the back of the saloon. I introduced myself and explained why I was looking for him. He grimaced and said, "Okay, let me finish my beer, and I will look at your trophy."

He was not real friendly about it, but he did give me a receipt for the bandit on my wanted poster. He asked me to save everybody some trouble by pitching the head in a ditch somewhere out of town. I agreed to that, and he got a bit friendlier. He also told me where to find the nearest courthouse where I could redeem my reward.