Chapter 13

"That's easy," Tanisha said. "I'm getting pretty tired of worrying about what's behind that door. I mean, I know it's not likely to be very good whatever it is, but the knowledge that it could be opened at any time by my brother when I'm least ready just makes things so uncertain. We've built up some pretty good defenses in case something should happen, but who knows what will happen if it does?"

"Let me ask this," Joy replied thoughtfully. "It's been, what, going on five years? Is there any chance he'll start to accept that you're out of his reach?"

"I doubt it," Tanisha shook her head. "He lost a round, hell, a couple rounds. He doesn't like to lose."

"I sometimes wonder," Jon added thoughtfully. "Sometimes, I think he's not looking for us too hard. I know we laid some false trail, but it can't be that good. Maybe I've read too many thrillers; I can't help but think that a halfway decent detective could have turned us up a long time ago."

"Or maybe he did turn you up a long time ago," Ben mused, "But realized that trying to get violent might be counterproductive."

"I can't believe that," Tanisha said. "Yes, it would be counterproductive in many ways, but it would be an enormous pain in the butt for us in the process. We do have security, thin though it is at times, and if he were to drag me off he could get sent up on federal charges. Federal courts aren't as easily intimidated as the local courts in St. Louis. But, would he know that or believe it if he knew it? I'm not sure. He wants what he wants and sometimes doesn't look at the consequences. I'm guessing he doesn't know where I am, and I'd just as soon keep it that way until I'm convinced he's not going to show up at our door with a gang of his thugs."

"But you can't be convinced of that unless you know what's on the other side of the door," Joy nodded. "The thing of it is that this isn't a game, and you don't necessarily have to open the door to get an idea of what's on the other side."

"Joy, what are you saying?" Tanisha frowned.

"Like I said, this isn't a game, it's real life. You can investigate things before you jump in. Like, have you done any research on him on the net? Like what he's up to?"

"Not every day," Tanisha admitted. "I've run search engines on him now and then. He seems about as obnoxious as ever, but I've never come up with anything that seems to point at me. Most of what I get are news stories about him mouthing off about something or other in the St. Louis area. The church doesn't have a real web page, and I can't believe he's that ignorant about the Internet. Even if he did have a web page, I can't believe he would say anything on it that would give any indications of what his intentions toward me are."

"OK, how about another angle on it," Ben said. "Do you have any friends back home you could call discreetly and snoop around a bit? Maybe someone in the church, or something?"

That one caused Tanisha to stop and think for a moment. "Well, not really," she said finally. "I didn't have many friends when I was growing up back home. I was, well, not encouraged to have friends outside the church. There might be one or two people I could call if they were still around, but they wouldn't know anything about him. And, anyone I knew in the church, I couldn't trust to not go blabbing to him as soon as they heard from me."

"You're telling me that you weren't allowed to have any friends that your brother or your father didn't control, right?" Joy asked.

"Well, my father, when I was growing up. My brother is quite a bit older than I am, so yeah, he falls into that, too."

"That's kind of abusive, isn't it?" Ben observed.

"Well ... yeah, I guess it is," Tanisha sighed. "I never heard my father come out and say it, but his attitude was that women had to be kept under control or else they couldn't be trusted to do what he told them to do." She got a smile on her face and continued, "I guess I'm walking proof that he's right."

Joy shook her head. "I've heard of people like that. I'm amazed they let you go away to college. Most people like that cut their victims off from anyone outside to keep them under control."

"It wasn't easy," Tanisha shook her head. "Looking back on it, I'm surprised I ever managed to go to Georgia Tech instead of some black religious school no one ever heard of before." She gave Jon's hand a squeeze. "It proved to be worth it in so many ways it isn't funny."

Ben watched the two of them for a moment. He was close with Joy, closer than he could have ever imagined, but still he knew the two of them didn't share their lives in the same kind of way their friends did. "I guess that leads me back to the question of what you want to accomplish by getting back in touch with him. It sounds like you're opening yourself up for more problems than you have now."

"Yeah," Tanisha nodded, "When you put it like that, I guess you're right. I don't want to have to put up with that kind of stuff from him again, and I guess I'm worried that if I was in contact with him he'd be trying to run my life again, just like always. I just wish I knew how bad the threat is."

"I don't know," Joy shook her head. "But it still seems to me like there ought to be some way of seeing what's behind the door without opening it. Like I said earlier, this isn't a game, after all. Just to throw out an idea, what would it cost for you to hire a detective to go snooping around to see what he could find out?"

"No idea," Tanisha shook her head. "I don't even know how we'd go about finding a detective."

"The Yellow Pages, maybe?" Joy smiled.

"I don't know how much I'd want to trust some guy right out of the Yellow Pages," Jon pointed out. "Maybe someone from Hollister could fill us in."

"Hollister?" Ben asked.

"That's the company that provides security guards for Lambdatron," Jon explained. "I've never looked into the details much, but I know they do some background investigations, too. I don't know if they could actually do an investigation for us, but somebody from there probably could give us a lead on who could."

"That might not be a real bad idea," Tanisha admitted. "We could go and talk to Molly tomorrow to get a better idea." She turned to Ben and Joy and explained, "Molly is the girl in human resources who does a lot of the security administration for Lambdatron."

"It's going to cost some money," Jon said. "But it strikes me as money well spent."

"Yeah, me too," Tanisha admitted. "It doesn't settle the issue but at least it gives us a chance to know what we're dealing with."

"I don't know any more about it than what I've watched on TV, and we all know what that's worth," Ben said. "But you probably ought to figure out what it is you would want a detective to find out, such as assess the threat level, and like that. I'd guess you'd really rather your brother didn't know he was under investigation, or if he does figure it out, that it's not you who's doing the investigating."

"You're probably right," Tanisha nodded. "Those are good points. I guess we're getting to where we need to be talking to a professional."

"Yeah, from this point on we might as well be talking about TV shows," Joy agreed. "But does that help?"

"Yeah, I think it does," Tanisha said. "It doesn't really solve anything, but at least gets us on the road to finding out just how bad a problem we're facing, gives us somewhere to start, which we didn't have before we talked to you. It feels better to know we're doing something, rather than just waiting around hoping something doesn't happen. Thanks, you two. We sort of thought that a fresh look at the problem would bring an idea or two. Maybe that'll help me feel better. It doesn't quite shake this bug or whatever it is I have, but it's got to help."

"Worrying about something can get you down," Joy smiled. "Would you like some coffee?"

"I could stand some," Jon replied.

"I'll ... no, I guess not," Tanisha frowned. "It sounded good till I got to thinking about it, and I'm not so sure coffee would sit that well with me right now. My stomach has been kind of rocky the last few days, even before this thing with Kwame came up. Like I said, it's some kind of bug I can't quite seem to shake."

"What is it?" Ben asked, "A cold, or something?"

"I don't know," Tanisha said. "It's not a cold, at least I don't think it is. I don't have the sniffles or anything. If it was a cold I think I'd know it by now. I've just been feeling generally crappy the last few days, even before we went to Chicago."

"Anything besides an upset stomach and feeling generally crappy?" Ben asked.

"Well, yeah," Tanisha said. "I've been feeling bloated. My pants are tight, and my bras are all tight. It doesn't make sense. When I checked the scales this morning I saw that I've put on a couple pounds. I guess I understand why since I haven't done much exercising this week other than standing around being a booth bunny. I've been achy and irritable, too. Like I said, I don't know what it is, but I wish I could shake it."

"Well," Joy giggled, "Maybe you're pregnant and don't know it."

"Wouldn't that take the prize?" Tanisha laughed. "No, there's no way I could be pregnant. I get my shots every three months, just like clockwork, and they don't fail."

"Don't be too damn sure," Ben replied, feeling like teasing her a bit. "My sister said something like that, and then, one day, all of a sudden, guess what? It turned out she was something like four months along. That was a real quick wedding."

"It can't be," Tanisha protested, not liking the sound of what Ben was saying and trying to shrug it off. "Jon and I have always been very careful about baby proofing."

"Well, not always," Jon laughed, trying to put a light touch on things, even though Ben's words gave him a strange feeling as well. "I don't think either of us thought about it the first time we got together, but we got pretty careful after that. It really would have been a disaster back then."

"Oh, yeah, would it ever have been," Tanisha agreed. "That was right after we both had to leave home, and getting pregnant would have been just about the worst thing that could have happened."

"Have you guys ever thought about having kids?" Joy asked.

"Well, yeah," Tanisha agreed. "Jon and I have talked it over quite a bit, and we pretty much have agreed that we want to have kids sooner or later. I mean, it's sort of like taking the next step. The problem is that my brother had big ideas about me running the church day-care center, and I'll be the first to admit that it put a damper on my enthusiasm. I mean, I know darn well I could never be a stay-at-home mom. I really hate the idea. I worked too hard to get where I am now to want to give it up just to wipe asses and snotty noses."

"Yeah, I can see how that could be important to you," Joy nodded. "I wouldn't want to be a stay-at-home mother, either. I'm not as tied to my career as you are, but it would get awful dull. On the other hand, I'm not getting any younger, either."

"So, are the two of you thinking about having kids, then?"

"Well, yeah," Joy smiled. "Maybe not real, real soon. I think it'd be best if Ben and I had a little more time together one on one before we go down that road, but I don't want to put it off until we're well into our thirties, either."