Sentenced to Life

by Huedogg

Copyright© 2011 by Huedogg

Flash Story: Life as a married man

Tags: Heterosexual   Humor  

How in the world did I get into this mess? I'm 28 with full head of hair, nice teeth and not fat or stocky. I have a good job as welder for Powers Shipyard. I have worked there since the day I turned 18, just like my dad and granddad who are also welders. So how in the hell did I get sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole?

My trial started at 3:00pm on November 27, 1983. It was a cold day with a nice frosty breeze. At the time I just didn't understand how cold it was going to get. I should have listened to my granddad. By the way my name is Hank Wilson, and today I am at my parole hearing. It's been 30 years to the day.

Like I said before I should have listened to my granddad.

Hank my granddad said, there will be days that you'll wish you could run away and hide. Other days you wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. And then there are those days you'll want to bury and put it out of its misery. My granddad told me this with the look of pride in his eyes that made me glad I was his grandson. My dad on the other hand wasn't so sure it was the right thing to do.

Hank are you sure son, are you sure you want to take on this kind of time. Your life will never be that same boy, "NEVER BE THE SAME!"

Like I said earlier, the trial started at 3:00 pm. The gallery was full, 100's of wittiness. There was no way of getting free from this. I could run but they would track me down. And after I was caught, a life sentence would be a picnic compared to quick death the electric chair.

My attention was snapped back to the trial, "Hank do you take Carol to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and hold in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, in good times and bad, to love and cherish her till death do you part.

"TILL DEATH DO YOU PART" that a long ass time. Damn why in the hell did I ask her to marry me..."SHIT". This is what I was thinking but I'm not dumb enough to say it out loud. But boy was I thinking it.

3 years of a life sentence

"Damn Carol", it's just a freaking couples retreat. Don't you realize that the Rams are playing in the Super Bowl this Sunday and I said with my normal "please baby, baby, please voice."

I had been trying to explain that the Ram are my team and we had been to all her lets improve our marriage junk for the last 3 years. I told how we could improve our marriage and save money.

Carol, I love you with all my blue and gold little heart. (St Louis Ram team colors) But for the last time, you want to improve the marriage. Less books and more sex, you keep reading that crap. Don't you realize that most of those writers aren't married. All they want is your money.

But I guess I didn't say it with the right tone because we went to the retreat and the Rams lost. You may not believe in karma but she jinxes the Rams every time.

Year 10 and 3 kids later

Will you guys shut up and go to bed, I won't tell you again, I said.

Um dad, its 3:30 on Saturday afternoon, said my 7 year old cornerback to be.

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