Ed (Bones): Mission Impossible

by Dapper Dan

Copyright© 2011 by Dapper Dan

Erotica Sex Story: Two guys search a haunted house for ghosts.

Caution: This Erotica Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Consensual   Heterosexual   Paranormal   .


[This is a work of fiction. The story is an unadulterated and unabashed attempt to tickle male and perhaps some female fantasies as well. As such, the story may or may not conform entirely with reality. But isn't that the whole point of fantasies--what could be? With historical exceptions, all other locations, events, and characters are entirely fictitious and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.]

I do not practice nor do I condone any of the sexual acts about which I write, other than straight, heterosexual relationships. Beside the fact that most other forms of sexual behavior are illegal, I still don't judge consenting adults for their sexual preferences except where such behavior is hurtful/harmful to others, such as pedophilia.

None-the-less, many people have FANTASIES of such taboo laden behavior to achieve sexual gratification or whatever, but have no intentions whatsoever of carrying out such behavior in actual practice. That said, if I have struck a particular fantasy of yours, read and enjoy.


Ed "Bones" Slattery ... lead male character, eighteen, high school senior
T.J. Sparks ... supporting male character, eighteen, high school senior, best friend of "Bones"
Clarissa "the bitch" ... supporting female lead, twenty something? theaparition "bones" is trying to prove

Thanks to Pepere for the editing. Any remaining errors are mine alone

Readers: FYI--This story not entered into Halloween contest as it was previously published on another site.

"I tell you, I did too! I did see her."

"No way, man, no fucking way."

"I know what I saw, T.J., I know damn well what I saw. She was plain as day, standin in the full moon light, naked as a jaybird, up on that fuckin little third floor balcony. Plain as God damn, fuckin day."

"Naked you say. Ummm. When did you see this?"

"Two nights ago."

"What the fuck you doin' out there on Three Mile Road in the first place, Bones?"

"I had to run some stuff from the store out to old man Jones. He lives four more miles out on that road. I was on my way back into town when I saw her."

"Well, Bones, I just fuckin don't believe you. That place is an abandoned junk heap. Haunted, if you believe stories like the one you just told. I'll tell you what, I dare you to take me out there and show me!"


"You know it's Halloween, Bones. You ain't 'fraid of a haunted house are you?"

"Hell, no, let's go."

So, T.J. and I piled into my '57 Chevy and hauled ass for the abandoned Blanchard Mansion about a mile or so out on Three Mile Road. It was Halloween night, 1958, and we'd nothing better to do. We'd do our own little version of "trick or treating."

T.J. and I were both eighteen and due to graduate from good old CTHS in the spring. Our girlfriends were off doing some "girl thing" with a group of their friends, so T.J. and I were left to our own devices for the night. More like vices."

When we pulled up in front of the house in question, we paused to looked it over. The country road was bleak and empty of vehicles. The house was set well back from the road, but clearly visible in its run down and derelict state.

"See, Bones, no bodies visible, anywhere."

"But look up at the upper balcony. What's that eerie glow?"

"Just the friggin' moonlight, Bones, just the friggin' moonlight. Jesus."

"If you say so, T.J."
* see picture of Blanchard mansion in better days
I turned into the decayed and overgrown remains of the old lane. I pulled the car around behind the house to stop beside the old and nearly collapsed carriage house. No use in drawin' attention of the cops on this night by leaving the car out front on the road. We were between the old carriage house and the newer garage that had been built onto the back of the house in later days.

We got out of the car. There were no doors on the side of the house, so we walked around the garage to three steps that led us down into a little sunken patio area with the house back door close at hand. With a little effort, we forced the door to open, albeit, slowly. The loud, eerie creaking sound of the rusty hinges raised the hair on the back of my neck.

"Creepy, huh J.T."

"Scared, Bones?"

"Me? Not a chance," I lied.

"Me either," replied T.J. in a somewhat shaky voice.

We both held flashlights. We turned them on in a simultaneous click of switches as I stepped through the doorway first. My head and shoulders were immediately encased in the shroud of an old cobweb.

"Shit! Damn it anyway," I sputtered.

Good old T.J., he just snickered maliciously as I tried to extriacate myself from the clinging mess. Free at last and shining the lights around, we surveyed what appeared to be some sort of kitchen/eating area.
* refer to graphic of first floor plan
The large room was empty of any furniture, but filled with cob webs and bits of junk scattered around the room. Dilapidated wall cabinets hung in a dejected ruin of their former glory, several doors hung awkwardly by one hinge. Two doors lay completely loose, one on the counter top and one on the floor.

Avoiding the large hole in the center of the floor, T.J. and I opened the first door to our right. A small cloud of dust drifted down on me. It was a small, almost triangular corner room. The layout indicated a small storage area or possibly a pantry. A large rat scurried to a hole in the wall and disappeared.

"I don't see any naked women yet, Bones."

"Oh shut up. Pay attention to where you step."

The short hall contained two doors across from each other plus one at the other end. The door on the right opened into a utility/laundry room with the washer and dryer still in place. T.J. said he was looking at a half bath on the other other side of the hall. I was fighting off more cobwebs as I was looking into the utility room. T.J. suddenly shouted from the doorway across the hall.

"Hey Bones, quick. I got a naked girl on the pot in here!"

I walked over and looked in as T.J. stepped back. He held his breath for a couple of heartbeats until he heard me open my mouth. Then he roared with laughter.

"There's no one in here," I croaked.

"But you sure did get your ass over here real quick, Bones. Ha-ha-ha-ha."

"Shit, man, quit the clowning, Goddamn it."

A look through the open door at the other end of the short hall revealed a large room on the right with a fireplace dividing it from another room to the left. We retreated back out into the kitchen area when I suddenly heard a car out on the road.

"Douse you light, quick. We don't need anybody stoppin' to investigate."

Both lights went out and we stood silently listening in the glow of the moonlit room. The car roared on by. As we turned our lights back on, a floor board creaked, loudly. I turned to look in the direction of the sound.

"God damn it, T.J., look at that!"

"Look at what, where?"

"I thought I'd seen a naked foot disappear through that doorway leading out of here."

Looking in that direction, I pointed my flashlight beam and T.J. said, "Don't see a damned thing. What was I suppose ta see?"

"Saw a bare foot disappear into the next room,. At least that's what I thought I saw."

"Huh, I never saw a foot walking without a leg or a body, Bones."

"Very funny, T.J., I think it was attached."

"To what?"

"Didn't see, but let's keep looking around, maybe we'll find out."

We left the kitchen and entered the near el shaped hallway-come-foyer. It was relatively short and we saw where it ended by the front entrance. On our right rose the stairs leading up. The stairwell was clogged with cobwebs.

On our left, were two sets of French doors leading into a semi-round area. Only a bit of glass remained in the door frames. Broken glass littered the dining room floor here as well as over on the other side of the room by the broken out windows. A once beautiful wooden table set with five chairs to a side and one on each end still occupied the center of the room. More cobwebs abounded in the room.

The huge table, sadly decrepit, still stood in its faded glory, faithfully waiting for the next setting. The chairs were scattered around in broken disaray. The tattered, rotting remains of a fancy table cloth lay askew on the table. The cloth was held in place by an elegant candelabra holding nearly used up candles in its tarnished, eight circular sockets. More sad reminders of former better days.

We crossed the foyer into a large room with a fireplace separating it from another large room behind. I recognized the room behind the fireplace as the room I'd seen earlier from the open door of the little hallway.

"Hey, T.J. I know what this is. This is the front parlor and that's the back parlor behind the fireplace. Just like at Grandma's house, the one she inherited from her mother. The 'back' parlor was the one used by the family on a daily basis. The 'front' parlor was strictly hands off. No one got into the front parlor for any reason except for Sunday afternoon visits, like by the preacher, or for funeral wakes or some other very special occasion. Otherwise, you'd better not get caught "up front."

Two sets of walnut double doors, ornately carved and decorated, framed the fireplace on either side to form a "wall" that separated the two rooms. I could hardly believe those beautiful doors still hung in place as if they had just been installed. Both sets stood open to reveal the back parlor.

I turned around and started for the foyer. T.J. was just turning to follow me.

"Fuckin God damn," I yelled in a hoarse and cracking voice."

"Double fuckin God damn," echoed T.J. in an equally strained voice.

"Now do you fuckin believe me?" I managed to croak out.

"Fuckin God damn," was again his reply.

There in the double doorway to the foyer, stood a naked woman of what, twenty something? Fuckin big tits. Tiny waist. Matching hips. And a bush. A big, flamin' red one. Red as the hair on her head. She held her hand out to us and beckoned us to her with a crooked first finger.

"Shit!" was our chorused exclamation as T.J. and I saw the flicker of bluish light.

"You can fuckin see through her part of the time," groaned T.J. "She's fuckin transparent."

"Believe me yet, T.J.?"

The figure had by now departed.

"Quick, after her!" shouted T.J.

We burst through the doorway and skidded to a stop. Where? We both looked around wildly, looking hard in the darkness while attempting to disengage from still more entangling cobwebs.

"There," I shouted, pointing to the top of the stairs, my flashlight pointing the way and spotting the grinning face of the girl. She again made that universal 'come hither' sign.

We made a mad dash up the stairs, completely disregarding more cobwebs with me in the lead. That was foolish in that stigian darkness, barely illuminated by our flashlights. The inevitable happened. I tripped and fell backward into T.J. We tumbled in a mixed ball down to the bottom of the stairs. We barely registered the mirthful chuckling from the top of the stairs.

When we bounced to a stop at the bottom, my head was ringing and I saw stars.

"Is there a hole in the roof? Man those are some bright damn stars."

"No, you dumb shit, Bones, there's no hole in the roof. We bashed heads pretty hard in that tumble. I'm seeing stars too. And I'm dizzy as a coot. I gotta get my head back here a minute."

Still more mirthful laughter from the second floor.

"Damn, it talks too," T.J. muttered.

"So I wasn't dreaming," I replied, "I did hear it or her laugh. And I got a witness. Are you fuckin ready yet? Let's get after her."

* refer to graphic of second story floor plan

We got up and tried again. A little more slowly this time, but up the stairs we went, hearts racing. At the top, we stopped to get our bearings. We were on the second floor landing. In front of us, was a narrow circular stairway, leading up, presumably, to that third floor balcony where I had first seen the naked figure several nights ago.

To the near right of us was a door to the second story turret room while to the far right was the open space of the two story foyer. since the first floor foyer was open all the way to the ceiling of this second floor. We walked into the circular room that was above the dinning room. The room was unoccupied, cluttered with debris, and devoid of any furniture. On the right side of the room was a door leading to the small outside balcony that we immediately proceeded to check out. The glass was all broken out of the door, so we could exit onto the balcony with ease. The open air platform was beautiful in that bright, full moonlight.

"Where the hell did she go?" intoned T.J. "Maybe she doesn't really exist. Just a ghost. Maybe not even that, just our overworked imaginations."

"Maybe," I answered, sure in my own mind that there was indeed something of substance here yet to be discovered.

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