Chapter 14: A Piece of Rebecca's Mind

"Evidence Tony?" Tony was driving Cheri to his house after the meeting. "You've been collecting evidence on me this whole time?"

"Nope, I haven't. I've been gathering evidence on me the whole time. There is a difference. You, by extension are included in that."

"Why? I mean the way Scott described it only the judge has seen it, but still, everything in my life since July?"

"Rupert. Rupert Winslow has seen it too, but that's all. It's not that bad Cheri. I'm keeping the state up to date on how you are doing. Having it written down and getting other people's opinions helps me. You didn't come with an instruction manual you know?"

Cheri laughed. "Manual wouldn't have worked. I'm one fucked-up smart chick, remember?"

"True, but really, it turned out to be the right thing to do. I have a solid record as your guardian and no one can stop us. Are you feeling better about things today?"

"Yeah, for some reason I couldn't put my finger on it, you know? There wasn't a better solution than staying with Uncle Chris and Aunt Marj. It never felt completely right to me before, it made me anxious all the time, but that was the best option I had. Now it feels right. Where everything's going feels like it should in my mind."

"OK, more psychology then; any idea why that is?"

"Not really, it just feels right. I have no anxiety thinking about it this way."

"Some people feel that man has either stopped evolving or at least slowed it way back. They say that man no longer adapts to his environment because he's become so good at adapting the environment to him."

"OK, I think I see what you're saying. We build high-rises and pack more people in cities. No, that's not exactly it, is it?"

"No, not really; we're the only species, or at least the best at it, that evolved to out-think the environment."

"Like air-conditioning and heating?"

"No, like everything. Caveman Tony and cave baby-girl Cheri are out for an afternoon stroll and along comes the big, bad, saber-tooth tiger! I'm not liking the odds for cave-baby Cheri personally. She's gonna be a snack."

"Hey! You're supposed to die protecting me with your spear!"

"Hah! Survival of the fittest and I can run faster. Today though, after tens of thousands of years of tool use and making them I just pick up my trusty rifle and bam! Who's your daddy now Mr. Saber-tooth?"

"OK, I see, where once our surroundings controlled us, now we control our surroundings."

"Right, so assuming we're both nut cases, and we are, to make you feel right again we didn't adapt to the situation. We adapted the situation to fit us. You have a fear of authority figures, mostly males. You have abandonment issues, again mostly with males. We get thrown together and now you have a father who really doesn't much look or act like an authority figure, which works for you. Having me adopt you takes care of the eight hundred pound gorilla that you, Rebecca, Anita, and Tina have been seeing in the room lately, because if you are, in fact, my daughter you are definitely going wherever I go, so you won't be abandoned. It's a perfect solution for your loose nuts and bolts upstairs right?"

"Ah, I see now. We didn't really do anything to fix what's wrong with me. We just kind of changed the rules to fit the situation."

"Yep, and you feel better about things now. The irrational is not having a fight with the rational any more, they agree on this."

Cheri was smiling at him. "That actually makes perfect sense. Wow!"

"It's amazing how much you can apply this stuff to. How about my damn boat?"

"Tony! I was just kidding. You know I love that old boat too. Not for the same whacko reason you do, but there is something about it that just feels comfortable to me."

"Uh-uh, you aren't getting away with that one. It's a nice comfortable, safe place for you isn't it?"

"Well yeah, when you put it that way, I guess so."

"OK, as long as we are going to practice psycho-analysis on each other, care to take a crack at why crazy smart chick?"

"It's just a nice boat Tony, it's beautiful ... It's more than that isn't it?"

"To you and me it is, probably a bit to Anita as well, though. Your reason is most basic of all though. What are the most basic human needs?"

"Hmm, food, clothing, water ... Oh hell, you got me didn't you?"

"One more irrational thing; you lived under a pier, it was cold at night, hot in the day, nothing to keep the wind out. So what's Kalliste to your subconscious that makes her somehow special to you?"

"Shelter, no doubt about it. More than once I've walked down there and just curled up in one of the bunks and felt better. Fell asleep more often than not."

"Yeah, I've noticed. She's safety, shelter, the first safe place you had when you were running away. Kalliste feels more like a home to you than either my house or Rebecca's."

"How'd you get so smart?"

"I didn't, I've just got a few years head start on being a psych-job. Really though, we do have to get you started facing these things. We can't change the whole world to suit us so we do have to learn how to get along with what we've got. Assuming this all works out, next year you'll be in a new school in Athens. I'm not going to be there, I'll be across town in the college. You need to be able to cope with that, or a cop who stops you on the road when you're driving. You can't freak out because the real world jumps into your comfort zone."

Cheri nodded absently. "Coping, right? We can learn what's wrong with us and what that means, but eventually we have to learn to cope with it. At least try to force the rational side to deal with the irrational even if that makes us uncomfortable at times. That right?"

"Our therapist is going to hate me." Tony was pulling into his driveway. "OK school tomorrow. You going back to Rebecca's tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, why are we here then?"

"You are here to take the whole envelope of 'evidence' that I have sent in, curl up down on the boat, have a glass of wine and go through the whole thing and decide if you hate me or not. Full disclosure, yadda, yadda. You can either bum a ride to Rebecca's or I'll take you when I get back."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going inside to call my girlfriend and invite her to a nice dinner if she's still speaking to me. Then I'm going to spend the evening trying to dig myself out of whatever pit of doom I've dug by going off and agreeing to adopt her cousin without even so much as mentioning it to her first. Do you have any idea how much shit I'm in right now?"

"So Tony, tell me how this is going to work."

Tony and Rebecca were seated at Antoine's on the north end of River Street. They were at a nice table, but neither was enjoying the view.

"OK, I know you mean more than the nuts and bolts, but I'll start with that. You know there is a new custody order. It runs, at a minimum, until the middle of May. The day after my eighteenth birthday Scott will file for adoption.

"For the record they think I've been doing great job with Cheri, mostly because everything I've done I've documented and sent to Rupert. They know everything and I mean everything that's happened where she and I are concerned since we got back. Judge Cauthan is pleased, very pleased. Once he saw all that, he had no problem issuing a new custody order. Scott even thinks he'd sign an adoption right now, but that might be open to appeals, challenges, and all kinds of things and you can bet Yakimoto would try them all. So we wait until I'm eighteen and we can throw out the whole Captain Tony crap, and I'm just another adult helping out the state by adopting a child that needs help.

"It's not normal, but the law says you can adopt when you're eighteen. About a week later we'll fly up and either Yakimoto will have a gaggle of lawyers there to challenge it or not.

"The ace in the hole is the evidence I've sent. Cheri is a minor, they can't see it; they'll never see it. It's considered too confidential even to challenge an adoption. The judge sees it and says OK I've considered it. Otherwise we'd have to listen to them make some bullshit legal challenge on every little thing. They state their case, Judge Cauthan says I've considered the evidence and signs the petition anyway and it's done. We can't lose."

"Now when you say 'we' fly to New Jersey, who do you mean?" Rebecca asked, "because I sure didn't get invited to dinner last night when all this was discussed."

Tony cringed. There it was. It was his critical mistake and he was guilty as hell. There was absolutely no reason or excuse for that one and he knew it. Of course Rebecca should have been included. It was the perfect 20/20 hindsight solution.

"I'm sorry, when it's put that way it sounds pretty damn inconsiderate of me." In the unstated rules of arguing with a female, Tony didn't dare mention that Cheri had asked that they do it that way. Better to fall on your own sword than be seen as trying to shift the blame.

"You haven't thought this through very well. How long were you going to wait to tell me?"

"Thought it through? I never even considered it. Put Rebecca's cousin on the boat, take her to Marj and Chris. Done, end of story; all the big people take over from there. Mom takes care of the paperwork and all is sunny in the Harris family. One good deed done for hero-boy. That's how far I thought it through. Shit, Rupert didn't really even tell me why I was going to see the judge that day, not in any way that registered what we were actually doing. Actually adopting Cheri? Never crossed my mind until she asked me to do it. That was, oh, around noon yesterday."

"You can't stop yourself can you? I mean I know you can't, dear God of course you can't, can you? What made her even think of asking you to adopt her in the first place?"

"Her talk with Yakimoto. She said when she was talking to him she realized that I wasn't just a stop along the way. She said she already knew it, but she just hadn't voiced it. She said I was her only real father since her dad died and she really didn't want to be passed off to another one."

"She really feels that way?"

"Rebecca how have I treated her? Like a normal friend? Like my girlfriend's cousin? Do you remember how scared I was when we got back from court that day? I've been writing down every damn thing I did for that girl. How have I treated her almost from the start?"

Rebecca thought for a minute then sighed. "Like you were her father. Shit you treat her better than most fathers do. You know you two really are fucked up.

"How do you feel about Cheri, Tony? What is she to you? Is she a name on a piece of paper the judge gave you? Just another stray you picked up?"

Tony closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. "Do you remember a long time ago, I told you I stayed awake at night thinking about what I should be doing for her?"

"Yeah, at school that day, I think we were all in a pile up on the grass." Rebecca smiled at the memory.

"OK, the closest I can come to answering in a way I think you would understand is Anita. It's different; it's like Anita with all the responsibility of everything about her thrown in."

Like Cheri, Tony had never voiced it quite so simply before. He let out a soft sigh and stared into those huge green eyes and said, "She's my kid Rebecca."

Rebecca's face softened and she gave Tony a smile he thought he might never see again only twenty minutes earlier. "OK, pay up, let's go."

Tony threw enough cash on the table to cover the bill and raced to catch up with Rebecca. He caught up with her near the door and asked, "Uhm where are we going?"

"My house, to pick up some clothes for Cheri and me for school. Then your house for a family conference."

Ten minutes later they walked into the Harris house together. Rebecca mumbled a greeting to her parents and walked straight to her bedroom already pulling off her dress as she disappeared through the door. Marj shot Tony a questioning look.

"The girls are staying with me tonight. We need to talk. I'll get them to school in the morning."

"What's so important that it can't wait until tomorrow?" Chris asked.

"Well, I take it that back when you two were dating you never agreed to adopt Marj's cousin without either yourself or her cousin discussing it with her first?"

Rebecca exited her room; she had thrown on a T-shirt and a pair of jeans and now carried an overnight bag. She turned left and disappeared into Cheri's room.

Chris cringed. "Oh you guys have a good night. I'm not going to try and stop her."

"I always thought you were a wise man sir," Tony replied deadpan.

Rebecca entered the living room. She didn't look upset, but she did look determined. She kissed her dad on the cheek and told him, "'G'nite Daddy, I'll see you tomorrow." Then she headed out the door followed by Tony.

In another ten minutes they were back at Tony's house. Tina headed downstairs while Tony stopped briefly in the kitchen to tell his mom that the girls were staying the night.

"Ah, Rebecca finally caught up to you. That's going to be quite the discussion I would think."

Tony laughed. "Yes it will be. And don't start with the be-all, know-all parenting voodoo. I'm starting to catch on to it now you know. You just have a big head start."

Carol laughed. "Well more voodoo for you then. I haven't talked to your sisters. That's your job, but I'll keep them up here for tonight."

"Yeah, you didn't surprise me with that one. Anita's not going to be pleased with the situation I don't think, that's going to take some work."

"Good luck Tony, you're going to need it. The simple fact she's here means you're safe though. I'd put just a little more forethought in these things in the future. A certain redhead should be the first thing that pops into your mind, not the last."

"Oh don't I know that. G'nite Mom."

He caught up with the girls sitting in the salon on Kalliste. Each had already poured themselves a glass of wine so Tony made himself a bourbon and sat in the chair opposite them. "OK baby-girl, hate me yet?"

Tony could see tears forming in her eyes and for a minute he thought he was in trouble.

"I knew. I knew all of this, well most of it. But when you put it all together like this you really have done a lot for me. It's tremendous Tony. How could I possibly hate someone who did so much for me? No Tony, I don't hate you. I still love you like a dad, even more so. I didn't have any idea I had a $30,000 college fund. What's that all about?"

"That's for you and Marj and Chris. Most people who are smart start saving for their kid's college education almost immediately after they are born. I wanted to make sure you could go to college and they haven't had years to save up for that yet. I don't think Chris would have objected to that if it just came along with you, so there you go."

"Tony, I've always hated to ask this so I never did. It seems rude, but..."

"The last time they counted the chips about three hundred and sixty million."

"Oh dear! I mean holy shit! That's just ... a lot."

"That it is baby-girl. That it is."

"Uhm, Tony you wouldn't think that I'd ask you to adopt me because of that would you?"

"I believe you asked me before you knew, didn't you?"

"True, I mean I knew you had some money, probably even a lot, but that's..." Cheri sighed.

"I think the chances of my little girl ever needing for anything are pretty slim."

"Why even bother to go to college then, what's the point?"

"Easy, all that money is managed by consultants. Those consultants are very, very expensive. They take a large bite out of every dime I earn. So I need to study business and finance to understand it. I need to go to college because I have all that money. I also have to learn that for Tina. The day she turns eighteen she's just going to hand over hers as well. It will still be her money of course, but I don't think any of us can imagine Tina worrying about financial wheeling and dealing. As long as her credit card functions, or mine if she can get her hands on it, she's just not going to care. It's just not something she's going to be interested in. If you ask her right now she'll just tell you that Tony is going to take care of all that for her. So I will."

"Oh, OK, well that makes sense when you put it that way."

"Anyway, you read all that stuff, still trust me?"

"More than ever Tony. Like I said I knew most of it but having it all in one place made me realize just how much you really do care for me."

"Good because I really do. Now, I think we need to let Rebecca start out. The term used was that this is going to be a family discussion. Family in this case means the three people in this room. I made, no Cheri, we made a huge mistake yesterday, something that could have cost me the single most important person in my life. We need to talk about how we can't let that happen again."

"I've been thinking about that some since you left and I agree. Why didn't we just think to invite her to dinner with Scott?" Cheri asked.

"Oh no, it's not that easy you two," Rebecca started, a touch of anger had returned to her voice. "No way. This is something we should have talked about long before talking to Scott. I know things happened really fast yesterday but as crazy as you two are, you both claim to love me and I will not be left out again, ever.

"There were some questions I needed to ask before I at least tried to talk you two out of this. What if this isn't the right thing for me? What happens? What happens if I think it's not the right thing for Tony and you two shut me out and don't talk to me?

"Everything," Rebecca shouted, "and I do mean everything that involves Tony involves me and everything that involves me involves Tony. I don't give a shit, Cheri, if you have PMS one day and irritate him. That involves me. There hasn't been a Rebecca or a Tony for a long time now. There's just the two of us, we aren't just a couple, we're much more than that. You have to understand that. We aren't like other people."

"So you don't think this is the right thing to do?" Cheri asked, tears once again starting to form in her eyes.

"No Cheri, that's not it at all. What I did do last night was go to bed with a lot of doubts and not just a little fear OK? That's because we didn't talk about this first.

"Here's what I thought last night OK. There are three people in the world that hold an absolute death grip on Tony's heart: me, Tina, and Anita. There is no doubt in any of our minds that he would do absolutely anything for us. He loves us completely and unconditionally. He has a lot of love to go around and that's OK. Even when Anita and I joke around about him it's just that, jokes. Those first couple of days on the boat maybe there was some minor seriousness there, but since then we're fine. We both love him to death and we know we get it back in spades."

"So you don't think he loves me?" Cheri sniffed.

"You need to let me finish Cheri and not get yourself in a tizzy. Tony loves you, never fear that. It made perfect sense to me that you at least thought and truly believed that having Tony adopt you instead of my parents was the right thing for you. Tony and I talked about it at dinner. We talked about how he treated you right from the start, all those things in the envelope there. Once I realized that he absolutely has been treating you like a daughter all this time then it makes a heck of a lot more sense. That big lug there has been a better father to you than most fathers I know hasn't he?"

Cheri just nodded at Rebecca.

"Well then it makes perfect sense and we can't change it. If he had been more distant, if he had just dropped you off at our house and then did nothing otherwise than just treat you like a friend you wouldn't feel this way. Dad may have seemed like just as good a choice probably."

This time Cheri shook her head. "I'm not sure, one thing Tony and I talked about today was that he looks nothing like an authority figure to me. He's not even two full years older than me. While I might not have looked at Tony as a father, or a very good one at least, he would have probably still been less threatening to me. The fact that he treats me so well and works so hard just makes him more perfect."

Rebecca nodded her agreement. "OK, I can see that. So that solves Cheri. The best thing in the world for Cheri is the whacky and weird, having another teenager adopt her.

"But Cheri, did you really ever stop to think about Tony?"