A Good Man
Copyright© 2011 by Marc Nobbs
Chapter 21: When you Kiss Me, It’s like...
Monday was probably one of the worst days at school I have ever experienced.
Will’s final piece of advice the day before echoed in my mind, and everywhere I looked, I saw people more interested in my new money than in me, eager to get what they could. Every time someone looked at me, I thought, ‘Do they know?’ or, ‘How much are they after?’
It drove me nuts. I was convinced that even Kevin, Billy and the Simms twins were after my money.
I wasn’t myself, and I know that people noticed. I guess that my closest friends thought they knew the reason, as they didn’t say anything—after all, most of them had been at that fateful birthday party three years earlier. I bet the date was burned into their memories just as much as it was mine.
But Clarissa hadn’t been there that night.
“Okay, what’s up with you?” she asked as we left Miss Pattison’s class at the end of the day.
I grunted. “Nothing.”
“Yes, there is. You’ve been acting weird all day. You’ve barely spoken to anyone, and when you have spoken to me, you’ve virtually snapped my head off. Like just now.”
I huffed.
“Look, Paul, we’re meant to trust each other and be able to tell one another everything. That’s how relationships work, isn’t it? So, for God’s sake, tell me.”
“You really want to know?” I snapped.
“Yes!”
“Well, I suppose the fact that tomorrow is the third anniversary of my parents’ death might have something to do with it.”
She looked mortified. Her hand covered her mouth, and the horror in her eyes was heartbreaking. “Oh, my God! Paul, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I’m sorry, I should have known. I thought ... I thought you wanted to dump me or something. I’m sorry. God, you must think—”
“Okay, that’s not the only reason.” I couldn’t lie to her like that after her reaction. I just couldn’t. The problem was, she looked even more horrified now than before. Did she really think I was going to dump her? Why would she think that? “Look, we need to find somewhere private if I’m going to tell you this.”
She wailed. She actually wailed.
“You are, aren’t you? You’re going to dump me.”
I grasped her shoulders and made her face me. “Clarissa, listen. I’m not going to dump you, okay. Not now. Not ever. I am not going to break up with you. Ever.”
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. It’s just that ... Look, something happened over the weekend, and it’s thrown me a bit of a googly, okay. I don’t know what to make of it. I was told not to tell anyone about it but, actually, I think you might be the one person in this whole damn town who might understand. And you’re right, if I can’t trust you, then who can I trust?”
She smiled, then took a deep breath, visibly making an effort to calm down. “The library?”
I shook my head. “There might be someone there. Can you come back to my place before you go home? Will Emily and Grace mind?”
“I don’t care if they do. You’re more important.”
After telling Grace and Emily they needed to find another way home, Clarissa drove us the short distance to my house. Vicky was home, watching TV in the lounge before her shift at The Hall, so we headed to the kitchen where I grabbed a Coke out of the fridge for each of us. As I did, I noticed, perhaps for the first time, just how well-stocked the fridge was. I’d never paid much attention to it, but as I’d been growing up, before and after my parents’ death, I’d never really wanted for anything. We ate well, there were always plenty of snacks around, and I’d never had to suffer the indignity of second-hand clothes like some of my friends. We had pretty much everything we wanted—just never anything too extravagant.
I guess I was starting to see that we were well off—I’d just never noticed before.
“You’ve gone quiet again,” Clarissa said. “You look like you’re thinking about something.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I am. I just realised something, that’s all.”
She didn’t answer.
“Let’s go upstairs,” I said.
“To your room?” Her eyes were as wide as I’d ever seen them.
“No, to the bathroom. Of course, to my room.”
“Won’t your sister mind?”
I shrugged. “I don’t see why. I just need to tell you something, and I’ll be more comfortable doing it in my room.”
She nodded, but there was something in her eyes. Fear? What did she have to be scared of?
I took her hand and led her to the staircase. As I climbed the stairs, she squeezed my hand so tightly it actually hurt. Once in my bedroom, I sat her next to me on the bed, and she put her hands in her lap, staring at them.
Mine was the third of three bedrooms, so it wasn’t massive, but it wasn’t small either. Vicky had the second biggest room. We kept the master as it was. Even now, neither of us went in there very often.
I reached for Clarissa’s hand and squeezed gently. She looked up at me, then cast her eyes around the room, taking in my posters. Her eyes lingered on the famous one of Chloë Goodman on the beach from her Ladz magazine photoshoot a couple of years previously. When, at last, her eyes found me, they were wide with terror. She looked more intimidated than I’d ever seen her.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She said nothing and looked at her lap again. I put my finger under her chin and lifted her face to mine. “What? Tell me?”
She took a deep breath. “This is about sex, isn’t it?”
“What? I mean ... What?”
Tears were starting to well in those beautiful blue eyes of hers. “You’re upset because we’ve been going out for a month, and we haven’t had sex yet. I haven’t even let you ... You know. Or ... You know ... For you.”
I shook my head to clear it. “Riss, that’s ... That’s mad. That’s just ... Why would you even think that?”
“Grace said—”
“You mean Micester High’s highest authority on healthy and stable relationships? Remind me, how many boyfriends has she gone through in the past year?”
She cracked a smile at that, but it faded quickly. “But she said ... She said if we didn’t do it soon, then I’d lose you. I can’t lose you, Paul. I’ve only just found you!”
“I’d have thought that Grace would have thought that was a good thing.”
A half-smile. “Well, yes, but only because she wants you for herself.” She gasped and covered her mouth. “Shit. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“What? Grace?” I’m sure my eyes couldn’t have gotten any wider.
“Sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, and I probably shouldn’t tell you this either, but Grace adores you.” She was speaking very quickly. Babbling. Not even pausing to take a breath, her words running into each other. “She says she sees the way you are with me and gets so jealous because she’s never had that with anyone and she thinks you’re about the only guy in Micester who’s capable of it and she said if I’m ever stupid enough to let you go then she’d snap you up in a shot.” She finally sucked in some air. Then that wonderful smile of hers finally decided to turn up.
“I don’t...” I shook my head. “I’ve never been able to work Grace out. She’s always been so...”
“I know. Don’t say anything to her. Please. She’d kill me. And don’t act any differently around her either, or she’ll know I said something.”
“That’s easy enough to say, Riss.”
“Sorry.”
To read the complete story you need to be logged in:
Log In or
Register for a Free account
(Why register?)
* Allows you 3 stories to read in 24 hours.