Chapter 13: Can We Talk?

My anger didn’t abate the next day or the day after that. Clarissa avoided me—it looked as if our brief friendship was at an end. Lily didn’t turn up to school on either day, but on Thursday morning she sought me out by my locker.

“Do you have time to talk?”

“Of course.”

We left the common room and found a quiet corner in the library.

“I spoke to Daddy. And my mom. He was really, really angry.”

“With you?”

She shook her head. “Angry with himself for leaving me alone but even more angry with the guys who...”

“Raped you.” When she looked at me, I said, “Let’s call it what it is. You might have left The Vic with the arsehole willingly but the first time you said no, when he held you back when you tried to leave and forced you to your knees, then it became rape.”

Her eyes grew wide with shock. “God, I never thought of it like that.”

“I bet your dad did. I bet as you told him what happened, he sat there thinking of what he’d like to do with the bastards who raped his little girl.”

She went quiet for a long time. At least, it felt like a long time. Finally, she said, “Anyway, I ... I wanted to thank you. I wouldn’t have said anything to my parents if it wasn’t for you.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “You’re a—”

“Don’t. Don’t say what I think you’re going to say.”

She smiled. “Well, you are.”

“So, what happens now? Are you going to the police?”

“Daddy says it’s not worth it. I’ve washed and stuff since Saturday, obviously, and apart from my arm there’s no other sign of anything having happened. It’d be my word against theirs and there were four of them to back up each other’s stories.”

I ground my teeth together. “You mean they’re going to get away with it?”

“What can I say? What can I do?”

“It just makes me so ... They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this.”

“True, but I don’t think the world works that way.”

She touched my arm and left me alone, with my anger growing once more. I couldn’t believe those animals were going to get away with it. I stomped to my next class and threw myself into a seat. It was French so I was able to sit alone and stew. I didn’t take in any of the lesson. In fact, I didn’t take in much until lunch when I ate alone. I was sure all my friends could feel the anger radiating off me and stayed out of my way on purpose.

I had maths period five, and made myself concentrate in that lesson—Bob McCarthy was a demanding taskmaster and wouldn’t have stood for me coasting through the class on a wave of my own, irrational anger. And I knew it was irrational. I hadn’t been hurt by Stevens’ activities. I’d gotten myself involved when I spoke to Lily. So why was I so angry?

Del Stevens and I had never gotten along, and we’d stayed out of each other’s way most of the time we were at school. But he’d gotten under my skin shortly after my parents’ accident and had been like salt in a raw wound ever since.

When the bell went to signal the end of the lesson, I picked up my books intending to hurry back to my locker and get off the school grounds—I was free period six and didn’t want to stick around if I didn’t have to. But before I could leave the classroom, someone tapped my arm.

“Could we talk? Please?” There was something in Clarissa’s tone—something in her eyes—that made me bite back my angry response.

“Where?”

“I don’t care. Somewhere private. I’m free this period.”

“Me too. I was going home.”

“Okay. I’ll walk with you.”

“What about your car?”

“I’ll walk back later and get it. It’s not far.”

“Fine. I’ve got to get my stuff first.”

We didn’t talk at all on the way back to the common room, or on the way out of the building. I was still angry and she could probably sense it. I don’t know if she was waiting for me to speak first or if she didn’t know how to start.

“I got warned off you again on Monday night,” I said.

She didn’t answer.

“I told him it didn’t matter since we didn’t seem to be friends anymore.”

“Don’t say that.”

“You haven’t spoken to me since Monday lunchtime.”

“You haven’t exactly been easy to approach.” We walked a few more paces before she said, “I heard what happened to that girl. Lily.”

“Really? How?”

“Her father, Pete Williams, is on the board at the company. He started over the summer. I didn’t realise she was his daughter, but last night I overheard him telling Mom and Jake what happened. Jake didn’t believe him. But then he wouldn’t.”

“Oh?”

“I understand now why you were so angry. It must have been hard listening to her tell you all about it.”

I glanced at her then looked away and said, “It was. But you want to know what made me even angrier?”

“What?”

“The way every single person in this damn school labelled her a slut and a whore and not a soul bothered to ask her what happened. Not a damn soul! I was the first person all day, all damn day, to say anything to her that wasn’t a nasty insult or cheap jibe.”

“Yeah. I can see how—”