Chapter 13: Can We Talk?

My anger didn’t abate the next day or the day after that. Clarissa avoided me — it seemed as if our brief friendship was at an end. Lily didn’t attend school on either day, but on Thursday morning, she approached me at my locker.

“Paul, do you have time to talk?”

“Of course.”

We left the common room and found a quiet corner in the library.

“I spoke to Daddy, like you said. And to Mum. He was really, really angry. Mum told me I was stupid for getting into that situation in the first place, and she wasn’t happy with Daddy for leaving me by myself to get into that situation. But Daddy was really angry. I’ve never seen him so furious. He’s normally so laid back.”

“Angry with you?”

She shook her head. “No. Not with me. Angry with himself for leaving me alone, especially after Mum told him off about it, but even angrier with the guys who...”

She looked down at the floor, unable to finish the sentence. So, I finished it for her.

“Raped you.”

She snapped her head up to look at me, her eyes wide.

“Let’s call it what it is,” I said. “You might have left The Vic with the arsehole willingly, but the first time you said no, when he held you back when you tried to leave and forced you to your knees, then it became rape.”

Her eyes grew even wider. “God, I never thought of it like that.”

“No? Well, I bet your dad did. I bet as you told him what happened, he sat there thinking of what he’d like to do with the bastards who raped his little girl.”

She fell silent for a long time. At least, that’s how it felt. Finally, she said, “Anyway, I ... I wanted to thank you. I wouldn’t have said anything to my parents if it wasn’t for you.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “You’re a—”

“Don’t. Don’t say what I think you’re going to say.”

She smiled. “Well, you are.”

“So, what happens now? Are you going to the police?”

“Daddy says it’s not worth it. I’ve cleaned up since Saturday, obviously. You know, ‘down there.’ I felt so...” She shuddered. “So, I needed to wash and feel clean, but that means there won’t be any evidence—you know, DNA and stuff. So, apart from the bruise on my arm, there’s no other sign of anything having happened. It’d be my word against theirs. And there were four of them to back up each other’s stories.”

I ground my teeth together. “You mean they’re going to get away with it?”

“What can I say?” She half smiled. “There’s nothing we can do.”

“It just makes me so...” I took a deep breath. “They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this.”

“True, but I don’t think the world works that way.”

She touched my arm and left me alone, fury boiling inside me once more. I couldn’t believe those animals were going to get away with it. I stomped to my next class and flung myself into a seat. It was French, so I could sit alone and stew. I didn’t take in any of the lesson. In fact, I didn’t take much in at all for the whole morning. At lunch, I ate alone. I was certain all my friends could feel the anger radiating off me and deliberately kept their distance.

That was probably sensible.

I had maths during period five and made myself concentrate throughout that lesson—Bob McCarthy was a demanding taskmaster and wouldn’t have tolerated me coasting through the class on a wave of my own, irrational anger. And I knew it was irrational. I hadn’t been hurt by Stevens’ activities. I’d gotten myself involved when I spoke to Lily. So why was I so angry?

Del Stevens and I had never been friends. As far as I was concerned, he’d always been an arsehole of the highest order—even when we were in primary school. We stayed out of each other’s way for most of the time we’d been at school. But, shortly after my parents’ accident, he’d really gotten under my skin, treating their deaths as a sick joke. He’d been like salt in a raw wound ever since.

When the bell signalled the end of the lesson, I picked up my books, intending to hurry back to my locker and get off the school grounds—I was free period six and didn’t want to linger if I didn’t have to. But before I could leave the classroom, someone tapped my arm.

“Could we talk? Please?” There was something in Clarissa’s tone—something in her eyes—that made me bite back my angry response.

I narrowed my eyes. “Where? In the Common Room in front of everyone? Give them a show?”

“Please don’t be sarcastic, Paul. Can we go somewhere private? I’m free this period. I really need to talk to you.”

I nodded. “I’m free next lesson too. I was going home.”

“Okay. I’ll walk with you, if that’s okay?”

“What about your car?”

“I’ll walk back later and get it. It’s not too far.”

I huffed. “Fine. But I’ve got to get my stuff first.”

We didn’t talk at all on the way back to the Common Room or as we left the building. I was still seething, and she could probably sense it. I’m not sure whether she was waiting for me to speak first or if she simply didn’t know how to begin.

“I got warned off you again on Monday night,” I said.

She didn’t answer.

“I told him it didn’t matter since we didn’t seem to be friends anymore.”

She whipped her head around to look at me, her eyes wide. “Don’t say that.”

“You haven’t spoken to me since Monday lunchtime.”

“You haven’t exactly been easy to approach, Paul.” We walked a few more paces before she said, “I heard what happened to that girl. Lily.”

“Really? How?”

“Her dad, Pete Williams, is on the board at the company. He joined over the summer. I didn’t realise she was his daughter, but last night I overheard him telling Mum and Jake what happened. Jake didn’t believe him. But then he wouldn’t.”

“Oh?”

“Now I understand why you were so angry. It must have been hard listening to her tell you all about it.”