Chapter 5

After watching his parents drive off, John said, "All of that moving in was hard work. I'm thirsty."

"Let's get a soda," Sean said.

Four dwarves appeared as if by magic. Pip asked, "Did someone mention soda?"

"No," Sean said.

"Yes, you did," John said.

"No, I didn't," Sean said.

The dwarves took turns arguing with Sean, each claiming he had mentioned sodas while Sean denied it. The argument had gone on for about five minutes when Chom said, "No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did," Sean said and then slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand.

"Hah! I knew it!" Pip shouted.

Sean said, "Stomp just ruined a bunch of police cars."

"He totally demolished about a dozen of them," Clea said.

"It was great," Chom said.

Sean said, "I wonder if there are any enterprising and ambitious dwarves around here."

Suspicious, Chom asked, "Why?"

"I was just thinking that an enterprising and ambitious dwarf, or four, might want to earn a whole bunch of soda," Sean said.

"Uh oh. That sounds like you're talking about work," Chom said with a frown.

Tugging on his beard, Thur said, "I don't like work."

"I don't mind work so long as someone else is doing it," Pip said.

Chom said, "You can say that again."

"I don't mind work so long as someone else is doing it," Pip said.

Chom started to say, "You can say..."

"No, he can't," Clea said hitting Chom on the head.

"Why not?" Chom asked while rubbing his head.

"We have more important things to talk about."

"Like what?" Pip asked.

"How many sodas are you talking about?" Clea asked looking at Sean.

"That is a good question," Chom admitted.

"I agree," Pip said.

"It's unanimous," Thur said. "That was a very good question indeed."

Clea asked, "So how many sodas are you talking about and what would we have to do to get it?"

"I was thinking that someone might offer to fix the cars for ... oh... ," Sean paused dramatically. When all four dwarves were leaning in to hear his suggested figure, he said, "five hundred bottles of soda a car."

"With a dozen cars, that's ... six thousand sodas," John said.

The four dwarves looked at each other. They looked at Sean. They looked back at each other. Their faces broke out in greedy little grins.

Trying to sound nonchalant, Chom said, "I don't mind work all that much."

"Sometimes it is better to work than to watch someone work," Pip said stroking his beard thoughtfully.

"Six thousand sodas," Thur said.

"I do like the sound of that," Pip said.

"Six thousand. That's a nice round number," Clea said.

"It sure is," Chom said.

Sean asked, "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," Clea said.

Sean asked, "What are you doing standing around here talking about it?"

John said, "Someone could offer to fix each car for four hundred sodas and then you'd have none."

The dwarves looked at each other for a second. They turned and charged towards where the cars had been flattened. There was the normal pushing and shoving as each tried to be the first one there. Pip fell down. Chom ran over him. Pip grabbed Chom's foot. Chom fell down. Pip ran over him. Chom chased after Pip shouting.

"Excitable little fellers, aren't they?" John said.

Sean turned to John and said, "I'm sorry. I should have introduced you to them."

"You have some rather unusual friends," John said.

"I guess," Sean said.

John said, "That one guy had breasts just like a woman."

"That's because Clea is a woman," Sean said.

"She has a beard."

"All dwarf women have beards," Sean said.

"Interesting. I didn't know that," John said.

"Let's go get something to drink."

"Lead on McDuff."

The pair were heading towards the Student Center, a rather remarkable nondescript building that was the center of student life. It was one of the places outside of the school cafeteria and library where students of all majors rubbed elbows with each other. Young women, away from the watchful eyes of their parents, were strutting their stuff. Young men, majoring in babes, beer, and what might become a profession were hell bent on pursuing the first two items on their to do list, get laid and get drunk, with great diligence.

John was busy identifying all of the women he was going date in school. Sean was distracted from listening to his roommate ramble on when Lily tugged on his shirt sleeve. He looked at her wondering why she wasn't in the car with his mother and father.

He asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Where are Mom and Dad?"

Sean answered, "They went home. Didn't you leave with them?"

"No. I was distracted by an exceptionally fine example of a hunky male," Lily answered.

"I keep telling you that you should be studying math and physics instead of looking at boys," Sean said.

"The only math I'm interested in is his telephone number. I got it and a promise that he'll do all kinds of things for me," Lily said.

"A telephone number is not math."

"It's a number and that's as much math as I need to know," Lily said.

Groaning, Sean said, "You're going to put me in an early grave."

"How am I supposed to get home?" she asked.

"That's a good question," Sean said.

Lily spotted a particularly well built young man. She did something with her skirt that raised the hemline an additional two inches. As far as Sean was concerned, her skirt was already four inches too short.

She said, "I think I'll stay here, or rather ... over there by him."

"No, you won't," Sean said grabbing her arm and pulling her back beside him.

John said, "Who's the young lady?"

"My sister," Seans said.

"You should probably call your mother or father to come pick her up," John said.

"I don't have a phone," Sean said.