Chapter 4

Moving day is perhaps one of the most important days in the college life of a freshman student. It is the day when young men and women finally cut the umbilical cord that ties them to their parents. The young men and women are worried about what the future will bring. Their mothers worry about them. The fathers worry about how much it is all going to cost them. It is an emotional time for everyone involved ... well ... almost everyone.

Sean stood next to his gold truck wondering how he was going to get all of his and Suzie's stuff to their room. It was going to take a number of trips even with the help of magic.

A couple helping their son move into the dorm stopped unpacking their car to stare at Sean's gold truck unable to believe their eyes.

Standing outside the dorm building, Sean's mother said, "We got him here. Let's go."

Sean asked, "What's the hurry?"

"I'm expecting Sean Connery to confirm that he'll be moving into your old bedroom. I'd hate to miss his call."

"We just got here," Sean's father said tired from the long drive.

Sean's mother said, "You're just grumpy because you're afraid that I'll forget all about you when Sean Connery moves in."

"No, I'm not."

"Maybe you could move into Sean's room and Sean Connery can move into our room," Sean's mother said.

"That's not a bad idea," Suzie's mother said.

"Explain that to what's-his-name that I'm married to," Sean's mother said.

The family that had been staring at the truck turned to stare at his mother.

Lily said, "Why don't you just rent his room to some young stud who will do anything I ask him to do?"

"That's what I'm planning on doing with Suzie's old room."

Lily asked, "Really?"

"I want a guy with huge muscles, six pack abs, and an ass so hard you could break a board on it," Suzie's mother said.

"Can I borrow him?" Lily asked.

Sean asked, "What for?"

Lily said, "I want a boy toy."

The family turned from staring at Sean's mother to stare at Lily.

"No, you don't!" Sean said.

Suzie's father said, "Hey! Wait one second. You said you were going to rent her room out to a pretty young woman."

"Did I say that?" Suzie's mother asked innocently.

"Yes."

"I lied."

"It figures," Suzie's father said.

The family at the car next to theirs turned to stare at Suzie's parents.

There was a loud crash from the street. Horns blared. A car came to a bouncing stop in the middle of the parking lot. On the final bounce, four dwarves flew overhead before landing in the bushes surrounding the dorm building. The bushes were demolished.

Chom stood up and said, "Let's do that again!"

Pip said, "I'm so happy we let him drive!"

Clea said, "He's a whole lot better than Sean."

"That last flight was great," Thur said.

The family turned from staring at Suzie's parents to stare at the dwarves.

Sean looked at the four dwarves. Confused, he asked, "Who's driving?"

Stomp got out of the car with a big grin on his face. "Fun drive!"

"Hi Stomp!"

"Hi Sean!"

"Hi Stomp!"

"Hi Suzie!"

The family turned from staring at the dwarves to stare at the troll.

The whoop whoop of sirens sounded in the distance.

Stomp frowned and said, "Bad noise. Go stomp."

Chom said, "Let's watch Stomp stomp on some cars."

Stomp took off to find the source of the annoying noise. Excited, all four dwarves followed Stomp towards the street. Other people took one look at him coming their way and started running away.

The family standing next to Sean's truck watched the dwarves run past.

Sean's father said, "It sure is going to be quiet without the dwarves living in the backyard."

"I'm going to miss them," Sean's mother said sadly.

Surprised, Sean asked, "You're going to miss them?"

"Who do you think was building the traps we were using when we were trying to catch the leprechauns?" Suzie's mother asked.

The family turned to stare at Suzie's mother.

Henri landed on top of the truck. He quacked, "Those dwarves fly almost as well as I do."

The family turned to stare at the duck.

Sean said, "Hello, Henri. How was the flight?"

"Not too bad. I ran into some geese heading south. Those honkers really know how to move," Henri said.

"Have you found a place to stay?" Suzie asked.

Henri said, "I saw a nice little pond on my way here."

"That's great," Sean said. "You'll have to show it to me after we finish moving into our dorm room."

Unused to seeing people quack at a duck, the family stared at Sean and Suzie.

Henri quacked, "I'm going to see if I can find any of my relatives."

"Okay. I'll see you later," Sean said.

Suzie said, "Let's get our stuff to our room."

Sean searched through the dozen pockets in his pants. He pulled out a wrinkled sheet of paper. Looking down at it, he said, "Our room is 318."

"318?" Suzie asked. She dug around in her purse and pulled out a sheet of paper. She looked at it and then said, "Mine says 218."

"Let me see that," Sean said while moving so that he could look over her shoulder.

"Look," Suzie said pointing to the room assignment.

Sean held out his piece of paper and compared it with the one that Suzie was holding. Disappointed, he said, "We're not in the same room. You're in 218 and I'm in 318."

"I'm in 318."

Sean looked over at the young man who was unloading the car that was parked next to his truck. The guy was just as scrawny as Sean. He was wearing thick glasses with black plastic frames.

"I'm Sean Connery Michaels."

"I'm John Patterson. Is your mother a Sean Connery fan?" John asked.

"Yes," Sean said.

"My mother is a John Wayne fan. That's why she named me, John."

Sean's mother said, "John Wayne? What kind of woman could prefer John Wayne over Sean Connery?"

"Sean Connery? Give me a break. He was so bad as James Bond that they had to replace him," John's mother said.

Sean's father cringed. "Oh. Those are fighting words."

"John Wayne's real first name is Marion. That's the name of a librarian. Talk about wimpy," Sean's mother said.

John's father cringed. "Oh, those are fighting words."

In the sudden silence that followed the whimpering death of a police siren off in the distance, the two women faced each other with vicious expressions on their faces. They snarled. They glared at each other.

"There were so many complaints about Sean Connery playing James Bond that they actually considered changing his number to 000."

Turning purple, Sean's mother shouted, "John Wayne walked like he had a corncob up his butt!"

The two women flew at each other. There was scratching, biting, hair pulling, and screaming. Oddly enough, most people in the parking lot ignored them in favor of hiding behind their cars. It appeared they were more concerned about the sounds of gunshots and grinding complaints of metal getting flattened that were coming from the street.

Looking at the two women rolling around on the ground, Sean said, "I've got a feeling that they're going to be arguing for hours."

Suzie said, "Maybe we ought to take our stuff up to our room."

John said, "That might be a good idea."

Sean, John, and Suzie made the first trip carrying a single suitcase each. They had to check in with the folks at the dorm, meet their residence assistant, and get the keys to their rooms. It was a process that took a little time, but it wasn't long before the three students, each with keys in one hand and a suitcase in the other, went up to their rooms to check them out. Sean and John explored room 316 while Suzie spent time in room 216.

The double rooms were misleading, in that while empty they looked large. Each double held two beds with two cabinets for clothes. There were two desks. They weren't nearly as large as they looked. There was very little room to move around unless the beds were configured as bunk beds.