Chapter 4

The accursed alarm clock went off as expected at six-thirty. We got up and dressed and because of her appointment for testing, we hit a local diner for breakfast of pancakes and coffee.

At eight fifteen she was walking in the door of the school board offices. There was a lady expecting her, and I left my business card for her to call me if she needed me.

"Oh, don't worry," said the lady. "These tests are timed, but she's the only one taking them today, so she'll be finished at eleven-thirty."

"Good luck, Tina," I said.

She smiled. And kissed me on the cheek. I was still standing there semi-stunned when she followed the lady up the hall.

I left, a thousand thoughts going through my head, and drove to the new jobsite, checked in the front gate and introduced myself to the people already on site. A few faces and names were familiar to me, including the engineering manager who'd asked for me by name and reputation. I looked at my new office, bare, with a desk and a large table to spread out prints and drawings, and a few chairs for the inevitable meetings and conferences. We talked about the progress so far, and the target dates for my equipment to begin arriving, and I looked at the schedule of construction, and we laughed at a few old tales, and I saw it was ten-thirty, and my cell phone rang.

I looked at the display. Unfamiliar number. I answered. Familiar voice. Tina.

"Hi, Alan," she said. "I'm finished."

"I thought the lady said eleven-thirty."

"Yeah, I know. But that's if there were others who need the whole time ... but I just did what I could and then stopped and we went to the next one. So I'm finished."

"Okay, sweetie," I said. "I'm out at the plant. I'm leaving now."

"Okay. Uh ... I see Mister Dan. I'm gonna go see if he has time to talk. See ya in a bit."

"I gotta go," I told the crew. "Had a kid taking a test this morning. She's finished. I'll be here bright and early Monday." And I left. Thirty minutes later I walked into the school board offices. The receptionist spotted me immediately.

"She's in Mr. Jenkins' office. Go right in."

I walked in, spotting Tina sitting in a chair smiling. Mr. Jenkins... "Hi, Dan," I said.

"Hi, Alan. I'm being surprised today."

I looked at Tina. She was smiling. "How so?"

"She took the placement tests. They're timed tests, Alan. Usually nobody finishes."

And I looked at Tina. She was smiling. And it was a self-assured little smirk of a smile.

Dan said, "Tina finished. I, uh, we, the lady who gives the tests is scoring them right now. If you want to grab lunch, she'll be finished by the time we get back."

"Sure," I said. "Come on, punkin," I told Tina. I looked at Dan. "We're gonna need directions. You up for another meal?"

"Oh, why not," He said. "I can always run it off..." He got up from his desk.

We all walked out to the truck and got in, Tina taking the center seat again. I know Dan noticed that she had to move the console out of the way. But she buckled in rather more to my side than his, and she was STILL smiling.

This time Dan directed us to a barbecue joint. "I don't go here often during work," he said, "because they laugh when I come back with sauce on my tie."

We could see why. The barbecue was good, but eating ribs was not for the fastidious. They had GOOD ribs. We ate happily and cleaned up as best we could. Dan was laughing. "They'll know where we've been."

Back at the office, Dan walked in to see a score sheet on his desk. "Wow," he said. One word. "Wow."

He looked at us. "Just a sec," he said, punching the phone. "Uh, hey, Louise. Yeah. I got'em. Thanks for doing it this fast. I know. I was curious too. Yeah. I'll tell 'er. Thanks!" He turned his attention to us. Tina was sitting next to me.

"Well," I said, "Back in the eleventh grade?"

"Yeah, right." His tone was happy sarcasm.

Tina was still smiling. I wasn't. I was trying to interpret Dan's demeanor. "So what's the deal?" I looked at Tina. "You did your best, didn't you? You didn't just quit?"

"No, Alan. I did my very best."

Dan said, "Uh, Alan, she's twelfth grade. And I'm recommending advanced placement in all her subjects. That way she gets college credits before she graduates high school."

"You're kidding!"

"I'm NOT kidding. These scores are the best I've ever seen. Or Mrs. Conner, too, for that matter. She does our testing for us for years. Oh, and I got a faxed draft of your guardianship this morning. So we're operating like you can sign her papers."

"That's good," I said. "When do we have to give you a decision about the advanced placement stuff? And when can she start classes? Monday?"

"Monday will be fine. And we can set her schedule if you decide. I'll call the guidance counselor at the high school, but she can start Monday." He smiled back at Tina. "You're a pleasant surprise." To me he said, "Did you know any of this?"

"Uh ... You know I've known her since Saturday. I knew she was bright, just talking with her, and she told me about the 3.8 GPA, but ... how was I supposed to know?"

"Well now we know. Can you go to the school Friday and get with them about the schedule and stuff? Since she's a new admit, you need to go with her, Alan."

"Okay. Not a problem."

Tina was still smiling. "Mister Dan," she said. "Thank you for taking care of us."

"We're the ones who are getting lucky, young lady, if YOU work to your potential. Just one question. What kept you from getting a 4.0?"

"I missed some tests when my grandma got sick. Mom pulled me from that school and moved me and I couldn't make them up."

"Oh, okay. Uh, Alan, can you sign this release so we can get her transcripts from her old school?"

I signed. We left, headed to the RV park. She got in the truck giggling.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"That lady! Mrs. Conner. I took the first test and finished and she told me to check my work, that I must've missed some pages. And I showed her the answer sheet. And she asked me if I understood the questions. It was funny. She just didn't believe that I did the work."

"You've surprised a bunch of people today. I'm one of them."

"Really?"

"I mean, I knew you were smart. It shows in the way you talk about things. But now ... it's like your swimming. Another surprise."

"I'm glad I surprise you in good ways."

"Me too," I said. "And I thought of something while I was out. Let's go get you a cellphone. I don't want you without a way to get hold of me or whoever..."

"My own phone?" Squeal!

"Yeah. I think it's a necessity, with you in school and me at work and schedules change and things happen. And I don't have to tell you how you need to take care of it."

"Nobody will touch it, Alan," she said seriously.

That was a minor stop. And the day ended in what would become routine: a walk, a swim, a dinner, TV, games, and bed. Her at her end. Me at mine.

The Friday meeting at the high school with the guidance counselor was interesting. These things were a lot more fun when you walked in with a winning hand, and Tina was an academic winning hand. "Yessir," she said. "I DO want the advanced placement classes."

"Which ones?" he asked. "Physics? Trig? English? Social studies?"

"All of 'em," she smiled.

I smiled too.

Our last weekend before we both started acceding to fixed schedules. We abandoned the trailer and drove a hundred and fifty miles to take in a concert and spend Friday and Saturday nights in a hotel with a full-sized shower and two queen-sized beds. The concert was a very workmanlike performance of Mozart chamber pieces by the local university's strings and several times during the performance I stole glances at Tina, a young perfection in an austere little black dress, tastefully simple pumps and tiny gemmed studs in her ears. Her hair was auburn perfection. And her eyes were closed and she was smiling as the notes soared over our heads.

It was with reluctance that we headed home, talking about the museums and the concert and the sights and the food.

Monday morning came. We did a bit more hurried breakfast of grits and eggs and bacon and I headed out to the project and she cleaned up then went to wait for the bus.

My day went just as chaotically as I expected for Day One. By four-thirty I was ready to leave and I did so. I stopped by the front office and found Tina and Lillian talking. Tina had a book and notebook open on the counter.

Lillian handed me the Fed-Ex package that contained the final versions of the documents that gave me legal place in Tina's life, the power normally attributed to parent.

"She's been talking and working since she got off the bus," Lillian said. "It's nice to have young company."

"You don't mind her chatter?"

"Hah!" Lillian answered. "Half her schoolwork I don't even begin to understand, but she talks about everything. It's mighty nice."

Tina poked at her trig book. "You might have to give me a hand on some of this. I think I understand, but I want to be sure."

"Okay, little girl," I said. "Swim. Food. Homework?"

"A plan," she laughed.

We bid Lillian goodbye and went to change. Our swim was abbreviated, and we hit a local eatery for supper, and then homework and showers.

Somewhere during the evening I asked about her bus ride.

"Not exactly my favorite thing. Rowdy kids. Long. Bumpy. I wish I could do schoolwork, but that's pretty much impossible," she said.

"Then let me ask you this," I said. "I think I know how you'll answer, but I want YOU to say it. Can I trust you with a car? I mean, school and home on school days, and I know exactly where you go and who you're with at all times?"

Squeal! "A car?"

"It makes sense to me. That way you get a little more time before and after school. You're carrying a heavy load. You need the time. And you can run errands for us when I have to work. Makes my job easier."

"You're gonna give me a car?"

I got serious. After all, I'd known her a week. I knew her to be a serious and unusual specimen of teenaged girl, but... "No, the car will be in my name. You're still a minor. And I have title. So if it disappears from my control ... Like if you were to take off for parts unknown..." I left that unspoken.

"Alan! I would NEVER do that! I don't have ANYTHING without YOU!"

"Baby," I said, using the term as if she were my child, "I believe you. But I also know that strange ideas come across people's minds. Just saying."

"You needn't worry. Really."

She was unusually chipper when she whipped my butt at cards before we went to bed that night.

Another day. This time I left work a tad early and picked Tina up at the park and headed to a used car dealer. I'd driven by earlier and saw what I had in mind, a little Japanese sub-compact, reliable, safe, and with good resale value. Practical, that's me. Tina looked good behind the wheel. With stars in her eyes. I'd already warned my insurance agent and the car dealer faxed him the information.

That activity cost us the day's swim. I wasn't sure that I could ever wipe the grin off Tina's face. I gave her a gas card, planning on calling the gas card people for a second card on the account to replace it. Sitting in a restaurant for supper, as in "I'm driving us to supper, Alan!" she looked at me.

"I know you're just dying to give me the speech, huh?"

"What speech? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah, right," she grinned. "Let's see. Obey traffic laws. Don't speed. Don't take risks. Pay attention to the road. Nobody else drives this car but me and you. No illegal substances. No alcohol. Don't leave it unlocked. Keep my keys with me."

"Okay, just do all that."

She smiled. "Alan, this is something Grandma would've done if she was still alive. It's wonderful. I never expected..."

"Just trying to make our lives better, babe," I said.

We got home. Did the homework thing. The shower thing. A round of rummy, 510 to 480, my favor. And to bed. Her at her end. Me at mine. The six o'clock alarm ruled the morning. Wednesday.

Thursday. We started our swim. She was unusually quiet. "What's up, Tina," I asked. "Trouble?"

"Well," she said, "not really. But I don't know how to ask this."

"Ask what?"

"It's a new school, Alan. And I'm making friends. And they want to get together Friday evening. They ASKED me if I'd come with them."

This was a day I knew would come. At this point, for all intents and purposes, she was like a daughter. And I was a dad whose teen daughter wanted to go out. She was seventeen, and when it came right down to it, I had only the most tenuous of holds on her. "So what 's the plan?"

"It's not a big deal," she said. "One of the girls is getting some movies, and we're gonna meet at her house and watch 'em."

"Are her parents going to be there?"

"Yes. She seems like a nice girl. She's in my AP English class."

"Then I guess I should let you go. You're seventeen. You know the ropes."

"Thank you, Alan," she said.

We swam our laps and then showered and went to supper. A part of me was crying inside and I couldn't tell if it was the "daddy's little girl" part or the "there goes your heart" part or if those were both the same or what. I did my best to keep conversation light.

We did homework, and I noticed that she didn't need quite the help of two days before. She beat me by a hundred and fifty points in rummy. Friday. I got tied up over a botched shipment and was still arguing on the phone as four o'clock passed. I pulled into the park at five and saw Tina's car at the trailer. Knowing she was likely doing date prep, I knocked before entering.

"Come in, silly," she said, giggling.

I wanted that to be MY giggle. I really did. "I thought you were getting ready for the big date," I said.

"It's NOT a date," she said. "There's a bunch of us."

"No special boy?" I really didn't want to hear "yes".

"Well, there's this guy. He's in my AP science. Cute. Smart. And my friend Susan says he likes me..."

Inside I died a little. Perfunctorily I mouthed, "Just go and have a good time. I'd like you to be home at a responsible hour. Say, before midnight. And if you have any trouble, call me. I mean it. That's what I'm here for."

"I'll be careful, Alan. And I planned on being home by eleven. She was standing in the door, ready to leave. "Bye! I'll see you later!"

And I let her leave. I rewarded my restraint by treating myself to a tasteless TV dinner and then I showered and stretched out to watch TV, a book in my lap. I didn't want to close my eyes for fear of seeing images I didn't want to see. Time crept. It was Friday, and I doubt that I ever felt that lonely on a Friday in my life, at least not since my divorce.

And that's why I was surprised when I heard the crunch of a car pulling into the gravel parking space at a bit past eight. And the door opened and a Tina walked in with a hugely exasperated expression plastered on her face.

Silently she stalked to the sofa and plopped down. Her face turned to me and I saw tears marring her complexion. "SHIT!!!" she said. "Fresh start, my butt!!!"

"What's wrong, Tina?"

"People LIE! That's what!"

"Uh ... how?"

"Oh, just peachy. No parents at home. And a cooler full of beer. And Mister "I think he likes you" is like, "Uh, let's go someplace in your car. I got some weed..." and he's also got enough hands for a roomful of clocks and he thinks he's all IT an' everything. Wouldn't take "NO" for an answer. He's gonna walk funny tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, babe," I said.

She was on the verge of tears. "I expected different. I hoped it would be different. But I'm the new girl and therefore I'm lucky that anybody pays attention to me an' I live in a trailer park an' ... I'm pissed."

"Uh..."

"Okay, sorry ... I am seriously upset."

"Better."

Her eyes turned shyly in my direction and the barest beginning of a smile appeared. "Okay. So what does Alan say about crap for friends?"

"Move on. People can be depended on to be people. And the behavior you describe is, unfortunately, pretty common among your age group. I won't say 'your peers', because apparently you don't have very many peers."

"So?!?"

"So life goes on. Even when things don't go your way. You get to keep being you. Uh ... why's the guy gonna walk funny?"

"I tried "NO". I tried pushing hands away. And he wrapped me up in his arms and tried to kiss me and he had his hands all over, so I reached down and grabbed. Hard. And yanked. He was on the floor crying when I left. And Susan was looking at me funny. And I came home."

"You had a rough evening. How about hot chocolate for a change." I paused. "On the floor crying?!?! Whatta girl!"

"I'm NOT going to be a slut, Alan. NOT. My first time is going to be with WHO I want, WHEN I want." She paused. "Hot chocolate?" Pause. "Okay."

Now that bunch of gears in my mind was really clattering. Her first time? She hadn't HAD a first time yet? "Sorry, babe," I said. "Hot chocolate is instant tonight. Remind me to buy some cocoa next time we do grocery shopping."

She accepted the steaming mug and sipped loudly. "Mmmmmm" she said, then "Dammit!"

Her cellphone rang. She looked at the display. "That's Susan," she said. "Shhhh!" She answered the call. "Uh, hi, Susan. Yes, I AM mad. I expected a nice evening of watching movies and talking and stuff, with new friends." Pause. "No, I DON'T drink." Pause. "No, I have NEVER tried pot." Pause. "Uh ... No, I'm NOT a prude. I know stuff about SEX that will curl YOUR hair. And I think LOVE is better." Pause. "Oh. How is he? Walks funny? Good!!! He should. He needs to learn the meaning of NO!" Pause. "No, Susan, I don't HATE you. I don't HATE him. But HE'S not getting within six feet of me. EVER. And if you want to be my friend, then YOU need to be straight with me." Pause. "No. I don't like being blind-sided." Pause. "No. If you want us to do something together, tell me what's going down, up front. And give ME the chance to say no." Pause. "Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'll still talk to you." Pause. "Reputation? If I get a reputation, it's NOT gonna be because I let Jeff Jamison put his hands on my tits. Or anything else." Pause. "Yeah. Okay. See you Monday." Pause. "Yeah, you can call. I'll talk."