Chapter 31

Tina's turn:

Ummm, yeah. Alan's heinie. Think about it. I'm standing in the middle of a parking lot in, as he says it, Armpit, Louisiana (which is actually a nice little town) and we're surrounded by cops and onlookers and I'm looking at this guy standing there in handcuffs. He just rescued me, and I'm thinking 'nice heinie'. I was. And I was not only thinking it, but I was surprised that I was thinking it. I guess the stress of the situation and my period and I was tired, all those things kind of messed with my reasoning.

And since that day in August we've been together, even though the first few weeks we weren't, as Susan says 'TOGETHER together'. He gave me a place to stay while I got my stuff together. Part of the stuff I got together was him.

Today we're going to Susan's house.

Susan played a big part in me and Alan being together. She's a catalyst. In chemistry class, a catalyst is a substance that accelerates a reaction without itself being changed. That's Susan.

After I went with Alan to Tennessee we set up his trailer (now it's OUR trailer) in an RV park and we got me set up to go back to school. I met Susan. We had advanced placement classes together. She's smart. And cute. Some people might say she's a little plump, but there are thousands of women who'd see Susan and wish they were shaped like her. But she was nice and friendly and I was the new girl in school so we kind of started talking. Next thing I knew she was having a little get-together at her house for friends. She had a boyfriend and there were a couple of other couples and this guy from my science class who was kind of cute and acting interested in me.

I remember when I told Alan that I wanted to go to the thing. He tried to hide his feelings but it was like a cloud passed over his face.

I went. I found out a lot of things. First, I found out that Susan was a) trusted by her parents and b) more than a little naïve. And that Jeff Jamison thought I was gonna be easy. It wasn't the first time that I had to fight a guy off, but I think it was ol' Jeffy's most enthusiastic introduction to the word 'NO' that he'd experienced up to this point in life. He was curled up moaning on the floor when I left.

Susan caught hell from her folks when they started finding out about what happened that evening, and Susan caught hell from me for not giving me a real idea of what was going on, but I found out that she was basically snookered. Remember? I said she was naïve. I forgave Susan because I really think that she was remorseful, way more than she needed to be since a lot of that wasn't HER fault.

I went home that night and I was really irate. I walked into the trailer and there was Alan. He listened. He gave me a shoulder to cry on. Fixed me hot chocolate. Watched a movie with me. And he went to bed. I guess he went to sleep that night. I didn't. I laid there for hours. I thought about things I learned from Grandma. I thought about things I learned from Mom. I put all those things together and I looked up the dark hall of that trailer and what I knew about THIS guy who'd shown himself completely honorable and I remembered the look on his face when I told him I wanted to go to Susan's.

Something inside me that night told me that Alan was The One. I understood that he might not KNOW he was The One, and I took a great big risk when I crawled into his bed that night. I was right, though.

Since then, it's been quite a ride. It was fun learning about each other. We started out sharing classical music. The guy's smart and he loves to talk about everything and we can sit there and carry on a conversation. Then I learned he can fly. We bought a plane. And flew to Louisiana to get married when we found out he could go to jail in Tennessee for messing with a seventeen year old girl.

But Susan: now she's my best friend at school, and she's part of my life, and she's getting married to one of Alan's friends and co-workers. And she's my adopted sister.

There's another adopted sister who just astounds people on so many levels, and that's Cindy.

How do you meet Cindy? Oh, you go off for a weekend, flying to take in a Bach concert, and you walk into a hotel and Alan KNOWS the guy checking in. That's Dan Richards. And he's got this cute little redheaded girl just standing there and he introduces her as his wife. That's Cindy. Fourteen. Genius. Graduating from high school. And a riot to talk with.

That's my bunch here. One of these days I'll tell you about the rest of my family, my stepdaughter, Terri, who's at least three phone calls a week and a really neat kid, and my in-laws back in Louisiana.

But right now we're in Alan's truck following Dan and Cindy who're in my car, and they're following Susan and Jason in his truck, and we're on the way to Susan's house. Susan's dad is barbecuing ribs and we're all getting together this evening. Tomorrow we girls, including Susan's mom, are going to Nashville to shop. Susan needs a wedding dress.

I might buy a few things, but living in our tiny little trailer is kind of a proscription against getting a lot of things and I have a couple of nice dresses that Alan says look really good on me, so I'm set. Thank goodness Susan's not going for one of those full-blown 'princess for a day' weddings with matching bridesmaid's outfits. And I don't think I'm NEARLY as relieved as her dad is.

Susan sounds kind of flighty sometimes, and honestly, there was a good amount of naïve to her, but she thinks things through and she and Jason had the whole wedding thing figured out before they broke the news to her mom and dad. When we get to Susan's house, she charged right in the front door hollering "Mom! Dad! We're here!"

Mizz Kathy showed up almost immediately. Susan introduced Cindy and Dan. Dan got a handshake. Cindy got a hug. Dan tells me Cindy used to be almost afraid of her own shadow. I can't believe that, because ever since I met Cindy, she's confident and has a presence. Poise. Cindy.

We went through the house and sat on the patio. All our guys were gathered around the barbecue pit with Mister Mike. Us females sat under the awning. I knew that Mizz Kathy was interested in Cindy.

She came right out and told Cindy that she was the youngest married woman she knew.

"I'm the youngest married woman I know," Cindy said. "Did Susan tell you about what kind of life I was having before I got married?"

"She mentioned some of it," Mizz Kathy said.

Cindy wasn't rude or dramatic, but she told Mizz Kathy a LOT of what I knew. You need to understand that one of the reasons I feel so kin to Cindy is that we sort of share that whole 'crappy mom' story. Cindy wasn't too graphic. I knew the whole story. She and I had talked a lot about it, trying to understand why we were the way we were. Susan hadn't heard the whole story, or even as much as Cindy was telling. Both Susan and her mom were almost astounded while Cindy was talking about her life before Dan.

"But then I got Dan." Cindy said, with that smile.

Mizz Kathy hugged her, almost crying. "I shoulda took Tina and Susan's word for it, baby," she said. Then Mizz Kathy started asking questions about Cindy's high school experience and there was room for me and Susan to jump into the conversation. We, Susan and I, already heard a lot of this, but Cindy was retelling it for Mizz Kathy. We had a lot of fun. I could tell Mizz Kathy was enjoying talking to us. I wonder what my life would've been like with a mom like Mizz Kathy, one that saw her daughter as somebody to love and care for instead of an obstacle.

I try not to think about that too much, and when I do, Alan gets a lot of vicious hugging. We've talked about it. He understands, I think, as much as anyone can who hasn't lived through it. Cindy understands even more.

Finally it was time to eat. Finally. Mister Mike TORTURED us with the smoke from those ribs. The meal was memorable, partly due to the food. Mister Mike's ribs were trophy winners in barbecue cook-offs and this in Tennessee where they're nutty about cooking ribs. Mizz Kathy had done some wonderful things with baked beans and coleslaw and garlic bread and there were pies for dessert.

Having a terrific meal with friends and family is a wonderful thing. We all chatted and laughed and carried on. I watched my two sisters. Susan really did glow. Her blue eyes twinkled, her laughter, her smile, all that told me that Jason was a fortunate guy.

What I thought was interesting was that this didn't sound like parents and kids talking. Susan's parents actually talked to us like we were mature. I could easily see that with me and Susan, but it was a little unnerving with Cindy, but Cindy acted like she's used to it. I don't know if it goes with her being married or her being just really smart or most likely, both.

Cindy and Mizz Kathy. You know, I was worried? Susan told me of some of the conversations she'd had with Mizz Kathy when word got out that I was married to Alan because of the differences in our ages, and with Cindy and Dan, it was an even bigger distance. But Cindy and Mizz Kathy were chatting like two old friends. Cindy was explaining to Mizz Kathy her entry into the social studies fair back in Alabama. Cindy was proud. She'd competed as a middle school student in an event that was almost ALL high school students and had taken second place.

I joined the conversation. "I can only imagine who beat out Cindy."

"I want to read her presentation," Mizz Kathy said.

I'll send you a copy," Cindy said. "I had a lot of fun writing it. I talked with Dan and Tina and Susan and did a lot of research about the family and church and welfare and education. It's interesting."

"Sounds like it," Mizz Kathy said. "I was going to major in social work in college, but I switched to business." She nodded in Mister Mike's direction. "Thought he needed all the help he could get!"

"I can understand that. Look at 'im," I said. Mister Mike was waving a rib as he expounded on something to Dan and Alan and Jason.

"It's up to us to civilize 'em," Mizz Kathy said.

I didn't argue with her. Mizz Kathy's nice. But I never saw my Alan as needing civilizing. He's educated and decent and mature and level-headed. Of course, he DOES have some sides to 'im that lay below the surface. When I saw him handle those guys that night in the parking lot, I was thinking, "This is the guy that's soooo gentle with me?" And he carries a pistol almost everywhere. Says it's his responsibility to protect himself and ME. And he's done that. So I don't think I want him any more civilized.

Anyway, Mizz Kathy's comment was meant to be funny, so I smirked. I know some of the guys at school could definitely use civilizing and I doubted the capability of a lot of those girls to perform that task. Maybe Mister Mike might've needed a touch, you know, when he told us about running a motorcycle into a truck door. But I just couldn't see it applying too much to my Alan. Or maybe Dan or Jason. Of course, Mister Mike seems like a really good dad. All you have to do is listen to Susan talk about him. I'm sad that I really don't have a frame of reference. I never had a dad around, or any guy that Mom brought home that I wanted to call 'Dad'.

It's funny how certain situations make me think about our life together, me and Alan, and about my own life and why I am the way I am. I've thought about the 'dad' thing and I can see where a psychiatrist might say that has something to do with me being so unbelievably attracted to Alan. A pseudo-father figure, perhaps. The first time I put that train of thought together, it bothered me, but you know what? If what I have for Alan is 'abnormal', I don't WANT 'normal'. I know too many 'normal' couples and they can only wish they have what I have with Alan.

When Cindy was writing her thesis for her social studies project, we talked a long time about it. I explained what I was thinking and she said she had some of the same questions. She decided to do a little research, but then she said she talked to Dan about it and she's like me: who gets to say what 'normal' is, and if it's a disease, did we want to be cured?

Alan couldn't WAIT for me to explain to 'im why I called him my infection when he got home. I talked to Cindy after school the next day. She giggled. "Dan's my tumor," she laughed. Things like that make me feel like Cindy is really kin to me. That's not to say that I don't love Susan like a sister too, but there's just too much parallel with Cindy for that to be 'normal' either.

There was one other girl who I shared this sort of stuff with back in Louisiana at the last school it went to before I dropped out. We sort of lost touch. I even emailed her when we got settled in here in Tennessee and she didn't answer back. That's been months ago. Made me start wondering.

"Tina, where in the world ARE you?" Susan asked.

"Right here," I said. "A thought crossed my mind."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing ... Just kinda got caught up in being here in the middle of friends and family."

Cindy giggled. "It's ALL family, you know. Me an' you an' Susan are sisters. That makes my Dan and Susan's Jason (Susan smiled so cute when she heard 'Susan's Jason) your brothers-in-law. And Mizz Kathy and Mister Mike your parents."

"Parents?" Mizz Kathy asked.

"Sure," Cindy explained. "Your sister's mom and dad are YOUR parents too, aren't they?"

Mizz Kathy thought for a second. "Yes. I see your point, Cindy."

"Thank you, Mom," Cindy said, and she stood, walked around the table, and gave Mizz Kathy a hug.

At first, Mizz Kathy was kind of puzzled-looking, but then she smiled and tugged Cindy in for a return hug and said, "Mike, you need to come here."

"Yes, dear," he said, shuffling over, feigning submissive posture.

"Mike, Cindy informs me that their acquisition of each other as sisters has made us parents of them all."

"Great! Just what I need. MORE daughters." He laughed. He turned and said over his shoulder, "Dan! Alan! I'm now your father-in-law! I expect gifts! And I don't have the foggiest idea of how it happened but Kathy says it's so."

"Cindy!" Kathy laughed.

"Figures!" Dan said. "Dad! Can I borrow the truck?"

"Don't push it, son," Mister Mike laughed.

That's what I love about my new life: Friends and family. And it's really a blur, because when you get right down to it, the ONLY real family is Alan. And then there's my in-laws and a step-daughter, and those always count as family, but then there's Cindy and Susan and who they bring and it's rather nebulous as to where 'friends' end and 'family' begins and I love it.

It was all that: laughing, carrying on, enjoying conversation and food. Nobody upset, nobody drunk, nobody mad, and at the end of the evening we all went our separate ways after a round of hugs and goodbyes in the driveway.

We left with plans to meet for breakfast in the morning. Then we girls (and Mizz Kathy, but she's a girl, isn't she?) were going to head off to Nashville on my first shopping expedition that DIDN'T have Alan alongside me.

In the truck with the love of my life. I love the bench seat of his truck. I can buckle in right next to him. That's where I was as we drove back to the park.

"Good time, huh, babe?" I asked him.

"Sure was. Mike did some GOOD ribs!"

"Uh-huh! I think Cindy over-indulged. She was goin' after 'em."

"Yeah! Dan says they ride bikes and walk and things to stay active. She's not much bigger than when we first met 'er."

"I think she's getting taller. She's so short compared to Dan, though."

"Like a little doll, though."

I knew that Alan thought she was a cutie. We all did. And despite her being only fourteen, she didn't hang back in conversation. She and I talked about that too. She said she used to be shy and uncertain. Said her husband was what helped her bloom. I told her that I could understand that. I wasn't exactly shy, just never did see myself as particularly special. Grandma didn't see much of that before she started getting sick, before she passed away, and Mom never saw me as much more than an obstacle.

Alan sees me as his best friend and his love and he just encourages me to use the talents and abilities I have. And I watch him and talk to him about how he works and what he thinks and I want to be like that.

Right now I want to get him home and showered and shaved and naked.

Oh yeah. Sex. Actually, with me and my Alan, it's NOT just sex. It's part of our life, our connection on so many levels, and I remember that first night when I crawled in HIS bed, it was what I wanted, but it was not some animal lust, because if THAT was what I wanted, I could've had it with any of a number of guys, starting with Jeff Jamison the night I went to Susan's for the first time.

It just didn't seem right, like something I wanted to ever do, with any guy, not until I met Alan. And when I finally understood that I LOVED Alan, then it was something we were MADE to do.

I mean, I KNEW about sex. Mom wasn't particularly careful about who she did or where she did 'im, and I have ears, so I heard HER. And I listen to the conversations at school, too, and I pay attention, and for that matter, I can READ, so I knew about sex. And until something just clicked about me and Alan, it just wasn't THERE for me.

Then along came Alan. Two of us. Silly people who just bumped together in such an odd circumstance, and then stayed in that silly little trailer acting like there wasn't anything between us. Like HE didn't want to admit it because he was so much older than me, and I didn't want to admit it either and I guess part of it was the age thing and part of it was that I thought he really did just want to be nice and he didn't see me as anything but an unfortunate teenager.