Chapter 46: Focus

Monday morning, Penny made her way to work with a seemingly otherworldly level of focus. Today was the day of the big presentation. All of her bosses would be there, as well as several business leaders that her company was trying to impress. She had been preparing for this presentation for weeks, and a lot was riding on it.

As she pulled her car into the parking garage, she mused on how remarkable her focus was, considering the state that she had been in when the weekend began. She had awoken on Saturday morning feeling empty – as though she were a mere shell of herself. She had submitted to Mistress, begged to be collared, and had been rejected. As she rolled out of bed, her aching body protesting violently, she felt something cold and hard beneath her and immediately remembered the nipple clamps that had claimed her nipples for such an agonizingly long time. This coupled with the sight that greeted her in the mirror brought it all back to her.

Her hair was a complete mess, and didn't want to submit to her half-hearted attempts to flatten it down with her hands as the dried secretions and sweat that permeated it were unyielding to her touch. The wax that had dried on her chest had mostly flaked off, but there were still a few tell-tale bits clinging to her skin.

As she stared at herself, tears started to well up once again as she realized just how far she had fallen. But at the same time, the humbled, humiliated, submissive image before her also started to turn her on a bit. As the overwhelming sensations of the previous night continued to crash through her brain, Penny decided to try to take matters into her own hands.

That would begin with a shower.

She went straight to the bathroom and took a long, hot shower – washing away the remaining evidence of the previous night's activities. She would still have a few reminders – her nipples were a bit raw and painfully sensitive, and her sex was sore from the intense stimulation it had received. But washing away the sweat and secretions made her skin feel soft and silky, even more so because her skin had absorbed the oil that had caused her to glisten in the candlelight the previous evening.

Washing her body felt so wonderful that she decided to pamper herself a bit more. Turning off the shower, she sat down and drew a hot, steaming bubble bath.

As she lay in the tub, letting the currents of hot water soothe her tired muscles, she slowly allowed herself to confront what had happened the night before. She was empty of tears and had now decided to approach the situation the way she would handle most problems in her life – she would think through the situation, assess what was happening, and determine what needed to be done.

But this process proved more difficult than any problem that she had encountered anywhere else. The first few steps in the process took only a moment: she quickly admitted to herself that being with Mistress turned her on, that she wanted to continue to submit to Mistress, and that she wanted to be her slave. The reasons for this were also obvious to her – after all, she had had the breakthrough during the week that enabled her to see that in order to be in control in so many other facets of her life, she had to let herself go from time to time. Her sexual games with Mistress provided that outlet.

But why, then, had Mistress rejected her? She was no longer the protective heroine, hopelessly resisting while insisting that Mistress held some mystical power of mind control. Nor was she still the control freak who believed that it would be wrong for her to submit to someone else. Mistress had enabled Penny to see that the way she was living wasn't completely fulfilling, and she had openly admitted her need for Mistress's domination.

So what was missing? Penny wracked her brain, but her thoughts always went in the same circle. There were obvious things that she hadn't realized about herself a week ago, but now she realized them. What more did Mistress want?

Eventually, Penny found herself shivering slightly, and realized that she had been turning this problem over in her mind for so long that the water had cooled. She drained the tub and turned the shower back on, both to rinse away the last traces of the bubble bath and to warm herself up again. Then she got out of the shower, dried herself off, went through her usual bathroom routine, and headed for the living room.

As she flopped down on her couch, ready to watch some TV and try to put this unsolvable puzzle out of her mind for a bit, she was suddenly overwhelmed. She burst into tears as the rational, problem solving veneer that she had maintained in the bathtub finally came crumbling down.

Penny felt lost in a kind of submissive limbo. Earning Mistress's collar had somehow become a symbol in her mind for everything that she wanted. She had forsaken her old life of complete control, and there was no going back. She needed to submit to Mistress – to have that outlet. She could no longer convince herself that constantly maintaining control was fulfilling for her.

But she had been denied the collar, and was thus incomplete – pathetic even. She wasn't worthy of being Mistress's submissive – she wasn't in control, but she wasn't being controlled either – at least not in the deep way that she wanted. These games that she had played with Mistress so far were only that: games. If Penny was going to truly achieve the submission that she craved – the submission that would allow all of the other pieces of her successful, ambitious life to fall into place – then she needed to wear Mistress's collar.

And she had no idea what that would take.

And so she had spent the rest of Saturday alternating between weeping on her couch, and pacing throughout her apartment as she continued to turn the situation over and over in her head. Finally, after a particularly shaking bout of tears, Penny slipped into a deep sleep on her couch.

The next day, she was determined not to allow this feeling of helplessness to continue to claim her. After all, she reasoned, her realization of her submissive side was supposed to give her a new level of energy and focus, and she would make use of that. She had completed her work in preparation for the presentation on Monday, but, she decided, it can't hurt to practice.

And so she spent the entire day. She ignored phone calls from friends – most of whom were wondering why they hadn't heard from her all week. She blocked out her thoughts about Mistress. She allowed herself to experience the exhilarating feeling of immersion in her work – she reveled in the feeling of being in control again – a feeling that was all the sweeter to her now that she understood its opposite.

And so, as she entered her office on Monday, Penny felt completely prepared for what the day had in store for her. She greeted Sandy warmly, noting that her assistant seemed to be positively glowing despite a look of fatigue in her eyes. But, Penny decided, she wasn't going to concern herself with Sandy. She wasn't even going to broach the subject of what had happened between them on Friday as Sandy had acted as an erotic sacrifice that Penny willingly made to her Mistress.

So complete was Penny's focus that not even a shocking text message could do more than cause her a brief start. When she heard her phone chime, she checked the message, and quickly suppressed the turbulent emotions that began to move within her as she read the words:

"While you were under on Friday I decided to plant a few suggestions. I hope you enjoy them."

Penny had no idea what suggestions Mistress had given her while she was hypnotized, and the thought of Mistress's control caused a brief swell of arousal in her sex, but she put it out of her mind. Mistress would reveal herself when she wished. For now, Penny had to make her final mental preparations.

When she headed to the board room, she was brimming with confidence. She arrived just a few minutes early, and as she entered, her bosses all looked at her approvingly, knowing that they could count on her to do a good job. She introduced herself to the various business leaders who were there, and soon they all took their seats.

One, however, was empty.

Right as the clock struck the hour, the door opened and the final business leader entered. Penny's heart went into her throat when she saw who it was: Mistress Catherine!

Suddenly quite shaken, Penny cast her eyes away from the powerful woman, staring at the table in front of her and trying, desperately, to pull herself together as feelings of arousal and fear simultaneously claimed her.

Mistress took her seat and calmly made her introductions. When she reached Penny, she showed no signs of recognition, but simply leaned across the table with her hand extended, saying, "You must be the impressive young woman that I've heard so much about. I'm Dr. Chambers."

Penny stared at Mistress's hand for a moment, the text message she had received earlier racing through her mind. What would happen when she took Mistress's hand? Penny started to become aware of how long she was taking to shake Mistress's hand, and realized that she couldn't avoid it. She reached out and they shook hands.

Nothing happened.

As Mistress took her seat, which was across from and slightly to the right of Penny, Penny began to relax just a bit. Perhaps Mistress would save the suggestions for another time. Right now, Penny needed to focus on the task at hand. She allowed her eyes to remain on Mistress – no, she needed to think of her as Dr. Chambers for the time being – as the tall woman withdrew a few items from her briefcase.

First, Dr. Chambers placed a legal pad in front of her. Then, she withdrew a retractable pen. Penny noticed that Dr. Chambers glanced in her direction as her thumb went to the back of the pen, and pressed the button to make the ballpoint appear.

"Click." The moment Penny heard that sound, her eyes grew wide and wild, for she felt, beyond any shadow of doubt, a hand smack her bottom, causing it to sting slightly, but also giving it a warm sensation that she enjoyed.

Mistress – Penny could think of her by no other name – grinned at her ever so slightly. Then she clicked the pen again. Once again, Penny felt a hand spank her – only this time it was one the other cheek. She wasn't quite as shocked this time, so she was able to control her reaction a bit better, but still, anyone watching her closely would have clearly noticed a jolt run through her body.

With her mind racing, Penny was barely aware of her boss coming to the front of the room and making her introductory remarks. As she began, Mistress clicked her pen again. Again, Penny felt the spanking sensation. This time, she hardly provided any visual evidence of her duress, even as her mind and body were now aflame with arousal, anxiety, and turmoil. Would Mistress continue to do this while she was presenting? If so, could she control herself? She knew that the spanking was only in her mind, and yet, it felt completely real – including the lingering sensation of warmth that seemed to channel from her cheeks right into her sex. Fortunately she was wearing a suit, so no one would be able to see her nipples jutting out from her breasts, but whether or not Penny could maintain control of herself while she presented she wasn't sure.

Another click of the pen, and the accompanying swat to her butt, interrupted her thoughts.

Then, something new happened. As Mistress looked at Penny's boss, seeming to pay attention to what she had to say, she casually tapped the pen against her legal pad in a way that appeared completely absent-minded.