Chapter 34: New Love

Eve and I were roommates in college. I was well aware of my attraction to women when I got there as a freshman, so when, at the beginning of our junior year, Eve and I first met in our new dorm room, I knew I wanted her right away. She was so beautiful, and so strong, and yet there was an intense vulnerability to her that drew me in right from the start.

She hadn't ever been with a woman, though, so for the first several months I just kept my feelings to myself. Every once in a while it seemed that she might be glancing my way as I changed my clothes, or lingering a bit longer than necessary if we engaged in a friendly hug, but it was always subtle enough that it could have just been my imagination.

And my imagination, let me tell you, was running wild. As I said, I was attracted to her from the start, but as we got to know each other my feelings grew. We clicked right from the start, and became very close friends very quickly.

Then, it happened. Eve had been on a few dates since we had started school, but nothing ever went anywhere. Inevitably the guy would make a move on her, and she would end things very quickly. She said that this had been how things had gone with her throughout her college career.

But then she met a guy that she seemed to really like. They had gone out a few times and were really hitting it off.

Eve had even reached the point where she thought she might be ready for their relationship to get physical. They went out on a date that night, and I spent the entire night home alone in my room, trying not to think about Eve, but inevitably feeling sad as I thought about her having feelings for someone else while I was at home pining for her.

Eventually, it was more than I could bare, and I started to cry quietly in the room by myself. Suddenly, the door opened, and Eve came in looking a little shaken. I quickly wiped my eyes and tried to pretend like nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

"You're home early," I said, "What happened?"

"Nothing happened," Eve replied. "That's the problem. I was so sure that he would be the one. We went out. We had a great time. We went back to his room and everything was going so well. But then, as soon as things started to escalate, I just couldn't do it."

"So what did you do?"

"I just got up, apologized, and basically fled. He didn't do anything wrong, but I just felt like I had to get out of there. I just don't know what's wrong with me."

With that, Eve flopped down on her bed and started to cry a bit herself.

At this point, I decided to let my own tears out once again. After all, now I could easily explain them as being sympathetic tears – Eve and I were close enough that it wouldn't seem odd at all that her being upset would upset me as well.

I sat down next to her and gave her a big hug, and she gripped me back, both of us crying softly.

As we embraced, our cheeks had come to rest against each other. The feeling of her wet skin on mine was causing my heart to beat a bit faster. Part of me really wanted to just pull her lips to mine and kiss her, but I knew that that would be the wrong thing to do.

We pulled away from each other slightly, and as I looked at her, she just looked so very vulnerable. Her eyes were red and her face was flushed. Once again, I felt a wave of desire taking me, but I just couldn't act on it. I didn't want to make this night any worse for Eve.

My heart leapt into my throat, though, as she slowly – ever so slowly – leaned towards me and gave me a soft, hesitant, gentle kiss on the lips. She sat back again and looked at me, her eyes searching mine, a sense of nervousness mixing with her vulnerability to make her absolutely irresistible. Looking back, I know it probably wasn't the right thing to do, but I just couldn't help myself. I pulled her to me and kissed her deeply and passionately.

She responded by kissing back, and before I knew it, we were frantically pulling each other's clothes off. Though I had already known that I was attracted to women, I hadn't actually been with anyone prior to that night, so Eve and I were both experiencing all of this for the first time. We were a little unsure of exactly what to do, but we fumbled through, kissing, caressing, and touching each other with a passion that overcame our inexperience.

By the time the sun started to come up, we were both exhausted, having shared several climaxes together, as well as a mutual feeling that we had reached a new point in our relationship that would change both of us forever. We drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, utterly happy, and utterly satisfied.

And so our love affair began. For the rest of that year we explored every inch of each other's bodies. We spent so much time together, and slowly became and more open with others about our relationship. There were plenty of frat boys who made lewd comments, and other guys who refused to give up on trying to go out with one or both of us, but we learned to shrug it all off. We were happy together, and the sex that we had was amazing.

When the summer arrived, we were both distraught about having to part. We had already arranged to be roommates in the dorm again the next year, but we knew that the months that we would have to spend apart would be excruciating. There was nothing we could do about it, though. We tearfully parted, both promising to call every day.

And we kept that promise. We engaged in plenty of incredible phone sex, and continued to feel closer to each other. In fact, I think that the summers that we had to spend apart strengthened our relationship – we learned the subtle nuances of each other's voices and moods. We learned how to read each other even without visual cues. I had never felt so close and connected to anyone – I was in love, and so was Eve.

But still, our relationship had started a sexual awakening in me that our phone sex alone couldn't satisfy. Cheating on Eve was out of the question, so I started masturbating from time to time. This eventually led to me seeking out some porn – I figured in addition to helping me get through the summer, it might also teach me a few things.

I started to watch lesbian porn on a regular basis – marveling at the women on the screen – how self assured and confident they were. I also read a lot of erotic fiction, finding myself reveling in the fantasies that those stories created, and loving the freedom to insert Eve into what I was picturing in my mind's eye.

Then, one night, I experienced another kind of sexual awakening. As I was watching a video of one strong, powerful woman seducing another, the stronger woman suddenly pulled the other's wrists to the headboards and tied them there. She proceeded to place her victim in bondage, then to tease and torment her, before finally ravishing her – leading to both of them screaming out intense, sweaty climaxes.

I was spellbound. As I watched the scene play out, I couldn't stop touching myself. I imagined myself bound like the woman on the screen, and, just as she was for so long denied orgasm, I, too, teased myself, but wouldn't allow myself to cum. Then, when her mistress finally brought her to climax, I did the same with my own sex, and the explosion was incredible.

For the remaining weeks of the summer, I started to seek out as much bdsm porn as I could find. I reveled in all of the things I saw, and imagined myself being dominated the same way that these women on the screen were.

When the summer finally ended, I was so eager to see Eve that I forgot all about the porn that I had been watching. Our relationship picked up right where it had left off, and we were both in a state of euphoria as we could finally touch each other again.

But after a few weeks, I found myself yearning for the porn from time to time. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted Eve, and couldn't have been happier about our relationship. But the thought of being dominated by a strong woman just turned me on in a way that was so unique that I couldn't resist.

I was afraid, though, to share these feelings with Eve. Everything was going so well, and I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. I didn't know how she'd react, and was worried that she might be upset that I had been looking at porn, especially now that I was doing so even though we were back together in our dorm room.

After a few weeks of this, another landmark evening came along. Eve had gone to the library to study – she was studying for pre-law and needed to use the legal documents that were only available in the library. Meanwhile, I had decided to stay in our room and study my art history textbook.

As I tried to study, though, I just couldn't concentrate. I was feeling horny, and decided to take a break and look at some bondage videos on my laptop. As the video came to life on my screen, I laid down on the bed and started to watch, but my mind was wandering. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up, I bolted upright. Eve had returned, and was staring at my computer. The video was still playing!

I was terrified. I didn't know how she would react, and I was worried that she would be angry. I watched her, waiting for some indication of what she would say.