Chapter 3

Zoe

I sipped some of the tea, looking at her over the rim of the cup, wondering why she would care so much for a complete stranger and then, for once listening to advice, I laid my head on the pillow and closed my eyes. As soon as I relaxed I already started to drift off to sleep, feeling both my exhaustion and the effect of the drugs. For a moment I felt her standing beside me, then something warm and soft touched my forehead but maybe that was already a dream, although the other dreams I had that night weren't warm and soft at all.

It wasn't a good night, not at all. I woke often and every time I immediately started to think about things I didn't want to think about at all. Like hospitals. But it's hard not to think about hospitals when you are in one. They look like hospitals, they smell like hospitals, they sound like hospitals. And even more so in the dead of night.

At dawn I was wide awake but not rested. I couldn't sleep anymore and longed for the doctor so I could leave. Eventually he arrived, hours later of course, and we were arguing whether I needed to stay another day or not and I was about to say that I'd leave no matter what when the woman arrived, placed a cup of tea on the night-stand and, without giving me the chance to say something, said that I wouldn't be alone, that I'd stay with her. Or she with me. The tone of her voice didn't leave much room for argument and so the doc nodded and departed, probably glad that he didn't have to further argue with me.

But the woman went on like this and although I was also glad that I'd been spared an argument I felt like a small child in the care of an overprotective nanny by the time she left in search of a nurse.

On the other hand, she had been extraordinarily nice to me, she had not only brought me my belongings but actually replaced my torn bag with a new one (which of course I would pay for) and she had gone far out of her way to help me. For all that I was very grateful. But still, I was 26 years old and no little child anymore.

When she returned with a nurse in tow who made me sign a sheet of paper that said that I was discharged on my own request and even knew where my torn clothes where kept (in the nightstand) I didn't say anything but waited until we were out of the hospital. After a lot of wincing and moaning I was in my clothes, or what was left of them, and ready to go.

As soon as we were out the door I stopped. "So, I stay with you?" I asked. Maybe this wasn't too polite and probably not what she expected, but I was quite confused, still tired and I didn't want to be treated like a baby.

"Yes, that is right. It's what I told the doc. And I make it a habit of mine to never lie."

I must have stared at her for a full minute. It was obvious that she was determined not to let me alone and that nothing I did would change her mind. I also could relate to the habit of not lying. And to be honest, I didn't really want to be alone.

"OK, I see. I wouldn't want you to break your habit." I held out my hand. "I'm Zoæ, but I guess you know that already."

"I'm Ann. And yes, I do," she smiled at me and shook my hand. Or rather, I shook our hands, which was not the smartest idea. I winced again with the pain in my chest and thought that maybe I should have swallowed some of the pills the nurse had wanted to give me earlier in the morning.

"Thank you, Ann. Thank you for everything." This time the tone of my voice was much friendlier.

A short discussion followed as to where we should go and in the end we went to Ann's place, the simple reason being that unlike me she had a full fridge and I was starving because I hadn't been able to eat anything in the hospital.

After a short taxi ride which we spent in silence we arrived at her flat.

"Please make yourself comfortable while I make toast," Ann said and I sat down at the kitchen table, watched her moving about the kitchen with careless efficiency for two minutes, then opened my bag to see whether my computer still worked. To my relieve it did and when I wanted to put it back into the bag I saw the little gift-wrapped box.

"Ann, I think you forgot this in the bag."

She froze for a second when she saw what I held in my hand, a reaction I thought was quite peculiar, but then she smiled and said that no, she hadn't forgotten it in the bag, it was for me.

I don't have big a problem with accepting gifts, but this didn't look like your average "get well soon"-box of chocolates, which I would only have eaten out of courtesy anyway since I don't like chocolate too much. So I told her that no, I couldn't take this and that she had already done far too much for me but she wouldn't have any of that. In the end I sighed and clumsily unwrapped and opened the box with the one hand I still could use properly.

I'm not much of a jewelry kind of person, mostly because I didn't give much importance to such things but also because I never had the money to buy the pieces I really liked. But I immediately fell in love with this one. I also knew why she had picked it and that she had put more than just a little thought in it. And it explained why Ann kept looking into my eyes.

As she did now when I looked at her.

"I ... it's beautiful, Ann."

She seemed to relax when I said this, as if she had been holding her breath, but I had the feeling that she was waiting for something else.

"Barely beautiful enough for you," she responded after a few seconds and rounded the table to help me lock the chain around my neck.

Her fingers were warm and soft on my skin when she pulled away my hair and they rested on my neck a tad longer than was necessary after locking the clasp on the chain. I also had the impression that they were trembling a bit, but I could be wrong about that.

But that wasn't what I was thinking about when I looked down at the green stone that rested on my collarbone. What I was trying to figure out was how I felt about being here with this beautiful woman who obviously had a crush on me. And a big one it was, too.

Ann

Locking the chain around Zoæ's neck evoked thoughts of other locks and chains, but not now, those would have to wait, right now she needed time to recover. Those thoughts caused me to pause, my fingers still upon her neck, I lifted then away reluctantly and stepped back. It suited her perfectly, the emerald the exact colour of her eyes. Such expressive eyes, her delight in the gift obvious, yet there were other emotions, other thoughts moving deeper within those emerald depths.

The speed at which the toast disappeared indicated an appetite that hospital food had obviously not quenched, so whilst Zoæ sat at the table, her hands wrapped around her tea mug, I prepared something a little more substantial.

Aware of her eyes following me as I moved around the kitchen, I concentrated on what I was doing and to our conversation that ebbed and flowed, the silences comfortable, giving both of us time for our thoughts, Zoæ's seemed introspective, as if searching herself whilst mine centered on preparing the simple fish dish and how best to deal with tomorrow.

Sharing a meal is always better that eating alone. Relaxing before a real fire is even better. Zoæ avoided the couch and settled herself in a leather recliner besides the fire, adjusting the angle to favour her sore body before turning her attention to the room. Seated in the other recliner, my customary chair, I watched the firelight reflected in her eyes as we continued to talk and relax as the flames danced, the logs turning slowly to ashes whilst we took the first steps towards friendship.

Zoæ's introspection seemed to have been resolved, at least for now, the warmth of her easy smile matching the heat of the fire. As expected, it was still early when her eyelids began to grow heavy, time to take my emerald beauty to bed. A suggestion that triggered a mixture of emotions deep in her eyes. Rising I crossed to her side, helping her up and taking her hand to lead her to bed, turning away to hide my amused smile.

She followed slowly, reluctant or timid, either were redundant as I guided Zoæ into the spare room. The double bed already made up, the central heating set to ensure a comfort. Stopping by the bed I turned, indicating the small en-suite bathroom. "Help yourself to the toiletries, there are extra towels in the cupboard and a robe behind the door. If you need anything, anything at all, my bedroom is across the corridor, good night sweetheart." I smiled at the look in her eyes and moved closer to kiss her forehead, a brief but tender moment, then I stepped back. "Sweet dreams." I turned and left, closing the door softly before crossing to enter my bedroom, stripping off my clothes as I walked towards my own bathroom, I needed a shower, a cold one.

Opening the door quietly I stepped into the bedroom, the morning sunshine filtered through the curtains to caress the auburn hair spread across the pillow, framing a face of such simple beauty I yearned for my camera. Barefoot I moved to her, placing the mug of tea on her bedside table, propping the note and pill packet against it, I turned away, then, unable to resist, I turned and leant forwards, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before forcing myself to turn and leave her sleeping.

Taking my bag and checking the spare key was on the kitchen table, I left the house, heading for the studio with a smile on my face and a feeling in my heart that I tried hard not to put into words lest I jinx it.

Dee's questions started even before the door closed behind me. The mangled bike and my brief note was apparently cause for concern, or more exactly, cause for interrogation. Ignoring her barrage of questions I smiled sweetly, "you'll have to lock up, I have a guest at home, now wench, tea... !!" I grinned evilly and disappeared into the studio, her retort following me down the passageway. "Yes, O evil one, I live to serve you tea ... NOT... !!"

I smiled, hearing the kettle begin to boil even as I set up my cameras. The models were due soon and I wanted to be ready, for I had a reason to hurry home, I hoped...

Zoe

"When in doubt, eat," had always been my grandmother's motto. I was not only in doubt, I was also starving and so the toast was gone in no time. Ann looked on as I devoured the toast, then asked me whether there were foods I disliked.

"No, not really. As long as it doesn't move on the plate I'll eat it." Remembering that brief episode when I was about ten and decided that I'd be a vegetarian because I had heard that some pop star I liked was a vegetarian too. So I stopped eating meat, until the next time I visited my Nana, as I called my grandmother.

"Vegetarian?" she had asked and raised her eyebrows. When I had told her that yes, I had stopped eating meat she had explained that this was just stupid because you can't drink milk and eat cheese and eggs but not the animals those foods came from. That would simply be a waste. Then she had asked me whether I thought it would be better if those animals never lived. Which I know now was a bit unfair to ask a ten year old, but it sure had made me reconsider my decision.

"And last but not least: In my house you'll eat what's on the plate." Yup, Nana wasn't only a great cook, a smart woman and a talented narrator of the funniest and scariest tales, she was also someone you didn't argue with, at least not when it was about food. So I ate what she had put on the plate and have stuck to that ever since. I also stopped listening to what pop stars said.

Today was no different. Ann prepared fish and then we ate, all the time talking about this and that, for once the breaks in a conversation not awkward, not leaving me with the feeling that I needed to say something to keep it going, quite to the contrary, they were rather welcome pauses to think and reflect, at least to me.

I know I should have made phone calls and stuff, but to be honest, I totally didn't feel like it and forced the notion from my mind. I'd do it the next day. Today I wanted to talk with Ann and sort my thoughts and feelings, if feelings can be sorted at all.

All I knew is that here was a woman who was kind, caring and apparently genuinely interested in me, for what reason and based on what grounds I didn't know. What I did know was that she was very pleasant company and that it had been some time since I had talked so openly with someone except Karin. In the end I settled for exactly that: I enjoyed talking to her, simply because she was a kind person and I liked talking to her and there was nothing else I needed to do.

It wasn't like I had to make a decision anyway and even if there was a decision to be made it hadn't to be made then.

I didn't realize how fast time went by and only noticed that it was already dark when Ann suggested it was time to take me to bed. The image of her tucking me under the sheets and then crawling in beside me flashed through my head. Was that what she wanted? I hoped not, because it wasn't what I wanted.

So I didn't really know what I expected when I followed her down the corridor, but whatever it was I was wrong. After showing me into the guest room she kissed me on the forehead again and now I knew it hadn't been a dream the night before. "Sweet dreams," she said and turned to leave.

"Good night," I replied and went on to say "thank you very much, Ann," but I don't know if she still heard that.

This night was much better than last. I still woke a few times, but at least I didn't wake up in a hospital. And in the morning I was rested and restless after 36 hours of lying in beds and sitting in chairs.

It was also time to take a shower and a proper look at myself, so far I had only seen my face when I had brushed my teeth. Showering wasn't nice, to say the least. No matter whether I turned the water hot, lukewarm or cold, it hurt terribly on all the bruises and abrasions. And there were a lot of those.