Oh Wolfie, Oh Wolfie

by Serena Jones

Copyright© 2011 by Serena Jones

Humor Sex Story: When Dad misses an appointment, his son is there to carry on without him. Inspired by Wounded Wolf and with thanks to Tex Avery's "Swing Shift Cinderella".

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including mt/Fa   Consensual   Heterosexual   Humor   Black Female   First   Oral Sex   Masturbation   Squirting   .

The doorbell rang at 2am.

It was a total WTF moment for a lot of reasons. First off, nothing good ever happens at 2am in the morning – nothing that calls you or rings the doorbell, at least. Those are always conversations that started with "I'm sorry to tell you, but..." which I did not want to hear at all. My parents were out of town for the weekend and my kid sister was staying overnight with her BFF. Everyone was due back home by breakfast tomorrow morning. The one time I actually had the whole house to myself for more than an hour, was not when I wanted to hear anything like that.

Second off, if it wasn't that somebody was in a car wreck, it could have been some psycho-Jason-hellbeast-wannabe. I mean, that is totally how it happens in the movies. I totally did not need to open the door to 'welcome to the terror-verse, population: you.'

And third, nobody wants to get woke up at 2 in the freaking morning; it's totally un-cool.

Of course, I wasn't actually asleep. I was in Dad's office jacking off to his online porn collection – which was the main reason I was pissed off when the doorbell rang.

I just got lucky one time and came into Dad's office while he had his name and password on screen. I made a point to write them down as soon as I got back to my room. So soon as my mom called from my grandparent's place, I tried the user and password I wrote down and hit the jackpot! When I logged in as 'Wounded Wolf' and got online, the homepage was a sex story site and all the favorites were porn sites! Plus, most of them used the Wounded Wolf ID. I'd spent as much of my time as I could jacking off to this stuff that I was never going to have access to again in life.

On our front porch – when I got my pants back on and got to the door – there was a woman I didn't know. She was black, which was odd enough in our neighborhood, but that didn't bother me even slightly because she was smoking hot. She was kind of medium height and medium thick – not fat but not skinny either. She was wearing this really ugly color dress with a v-neck that looked like her tits would fall out any second and she totally was not wearing a bra. She reached over and rang the bell again. She had really long hair – all the way down to her butt – so I couldn't tell if she was wearing undies or not.

She did look a little impatient, though, so I opened the door. "Uh, yeah?" Yeah, I'm totally smooth.

"Wolfie?" She asked.

It took me a second to connect. Wolfie? Like as in 'Wounded Wolf', Dad's screen name? After I logged on, a couple girls IM'd me and I had some really hot, sexting for like an hour. I wondered if she was one of them. "Oh, uh, he's ... uh..."

She smiled. "Don't tell me. I think it's better if we stick to screen names." She laughed. "Of course, my name really is Serena."

"R-r-really?" I stuttered. Was my Dad having an affair?

"So, can I come in, or did you want to stay out here?"

"Uh, yeah." The neighbors did not need to see this! "Uh, come in."

As soon as I closed the door and turned to face her, she was on me – arms around my neck, lips against mine, slamming me bodily against the door. She even gave me some tongue! I didn't think I should be letting some strange girl kiss me like that, but then again, I'd never actually been kissed like that by any girl!

"Mmm." She sighed. "Sorry 'bout that, Wolfie. I didn't mean to come on quite so strong." She let me go slowly. "I've never actually done something like this before. It's sort of ... exciting."

"Yeah. I've never done anything like this either." I admitted – completely honestly.

She stepped back and grinned at me. "You're a lot younger than you told me, aren't you?"

"Oh, well, yeah see –"

She held up her hand. "Don't tell me the truth. I can't know that you're anything under 18. So, why don't we just say that you're older than you look and leave it at that?"

"Uh, yeah. That would be cool."

We stood in the hallway and looked at each other.

"So." She glanced at the staircase and then back at me. "Did your wife take the kids with her?"

My jaw practically hit the floor. Dad totally had a hook up planned!

"Or is there actually a 'wife and kids'?" She chuckled.

"Uh, yeah, uh..." I stammered for a second, figured I must be dreaming all of this, and WTF, go for it. "No, there's totally a wife and kids but, uh, yeah she's at my grand- uh, in-laws now."

Dad was totally pissed about having to go. I mean, more pissed than usual. Dad knew this hottie was coming and planned to have the house to himself. Originally, sis and me were supposed to go with Mom to her parent's house. Dad was going to stay and paint the garage. Then Mom sprained her wrist and couldn't drive, so Dad had to go. Sis and me didn't want to go anyway so I agreed to baby-sit and paint, and Dad had a total fit when Mom agreed.

I had to be totally dreaming this stuff! Even pornos weren't this good!

"I see." She smiled. "So. What were you reading tonight?"


"I sent you a new one yesterday."

"New one?"

She looked a bit suspicious. "A new story."

Then a couple pieces of the puzzle fell into place. On the Wounded Wolf homepage, the first writer bookmarked was on a bunch of the sites was Serena Jones! He must have met her somehow and planned all this.

"Oh yeah, right! Yeah, no I got it. I just totally haven't had time to read it yet."

Her expression changed and she smirked at me. "Too busy, huh? So I'm not good enough to jack off to anymore?"

"Oh, uh, I - wasn't uh..."

She laughed. "Show me." She took my hand. "I want to read the competition."

"Uh ... ok." I took her back to the office.

I was still logged in, but the screensaver had popped on. As soon as I touched the mouse, the screen and sound burst to life.

"Oooooohhhhhhh! Oh god! Fuck me hard, daddy!" A woman with pigtails was suddenly screaming as a big black guy was slamming into her. "You make my baby pussy feel so good, daddy! Fuck my pussy! Fuck my widdle pussy, daddy!"

"Uh sorry." Classy, really totally classy. I reached for the mouse, but Serena stopped me.

"Let it play."


"I thought you liked the more romantic stuff." She said with an odd look. "If you like this, you should read this one." She used her hip to move me aside and opened a new window. She typed in an address, clicked a few links and opened a new site. "Read." The porno was still playing on the other window so we could still hear the audio even if we couldn't see the videos any more.

She made me sit in the chair and stroked my hair and neck while I read. Page one introduced a family. By the bottom of page two, they were having freaky sex. It was way totally unbelievably hot.

And having her touching me while I was reading it just made it hotter. I mean, I would have thought that a girl had to touch real stuff to feel that good, but her just caressing my head was helping me get sprung that much faster.

I almost touched myself while I was reading, but I figured that was too jacked up and didn't do it.

"Go ahead." She said.

"Huh?" Oh yeah; I am smooth.

"I want to watch you. That's what you do, isn't it? You sit here, and read my stories, and think about doing that to me." She leaned down and whispered in my ear. "I want to see it. I want to see what my words do to you."

I swallowed hard but I put my hand on my crotch. I was really dying to rub one out but I felt kind of weird about it with her watching me.

"If you let me watch you," she whispered, "I'll let you watch me."

I kind of groaned as my dick nearly burst at the idea of watching a real live girl rub one out. It took me another split second to decide and then I began opening my pants.

"Do you usually take them all the way off or just open them?" She asked me.

"All the way." I answered - which was true but probably kind of freaky since she thought I meant here at Dad's desk not upstairs in my room.

She pulled the chair back and I shivered as I stood up and dropped my pants in front of a woman for the first time. Then she tugged my waistband, and I took a deep breath and dropped my boxers too.

"Oh my!" She cooed. "May I?" She asked. "I know we said we wouldn't touch but..." She actually seemed a bit embarrassed. "I'm not usually like this, you know. Most of my friends don't even know that I write."

"Really?" I tried to be cool about it. "It's cool. I'd like to touch you too. I mean, if you don't ... If that's, you know, cool with you and..."

"I definitely want you to touch me." She smiled.

Then she reached down and stroked my shaft gently and I almost lost it right there! I mean, I've had a couple girlfriends who gave me hand jobs but her hand was so soft and I was so hard I couldn't think straight.

She caressed my dick the same way she caressed my head earlier and I couldn't stop myself from moaning.

"Like that?" She asked softly.

"Oh yeah." I sighed. I closed my eyes and just stood there while my dad's online mistress stroked my dick. Somewhere, in the online background, some girl was screaming about how good it felt and I was in total agreement!

"I like it too." She said. "I always loved how soft the skin is, but how hard the tool gets. That's where that one line about screwdrivers comes from, you know."

"Yeah?" I had no idea what she meant.

"You're not the only one to ask about that one." She went on as she moved a little closer and began using two hands and caressed my nuts too. "I was trying to poetically refer to how the penis is always referred to as hardware and sex is often kind of, well, you know. Men have a 'tool'. Sex is 'screwing' or 'he hammered her' or 'he drilled her'."

"Yeah uh-huh." I grunted so she knew I was kind of listening.

"So 'driver looking for a screw', if you're screwing, one must be the screw, one must be the screw driver. Get it?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "I would love to be your screwdriver."

"Well, maybe I'll let you." She chuckled. "Sit down and finish for me." She slid her hands up to my chest. "Please?"

I almost died when she let me go, but I was really really close to totally going off in her hand so it was ok because it gave me like another minute. I sat down.

"Oh, that sounds good." Serena said suddenly and reached past me to switch windows.

There was a woman on screen totally being eaten by another woman. The one being licked was saying, "oh yes, lick my pussy" a lot. Serena rewound the scene to where the licking started and we watched as the camera pulled in close and the girl's tongue did stuff I'd only dreamed of doing so far.

"You like oral?" Serena asked me.

"Uh - well I haven't - uh, yeah." Be Dad, dude! Be Dad! "I totally love licking pussy like that."

"Me too." She sighed. "I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time."

"You're a Lez!?" I was stunned. The only other lez I'd ever met looked like a lez. Serena looked like she should be in one of the videos!

"Bi." She said. "I thought I told you that?"

"Oh right." I shrugged. "I forgot. It's cool." I looked at the girls getting off on screen; the one was getting louder. "Yeah, it's totally cool. I am too."

"You're bi?" She looked at me, stunned.

"Oh yeah." I shrugged and realized that I'd gone too far - especially since I wasn't entirely sure what 'bi' meant. "I mean, everybody is, right?"

She thought about if for a moment then smiled. "Yeah, to one degree or another. You keep surprising me, Wolfie." She looked at the screen. "I have an oral fetish. I'd rather suck than fuck most of the time. But fucking's not always good for me."

"It's not?" How could fucking be bad?

She shook her head. "My vaginal opening's smaller than average and I tend to run dry even when I really want it. I basically have to cum like that -" she indicated the woman who was spraying like a fire hose and screaming "- to be wet enough to enjoy sex."

"Well that kinda sucks." I said and she nodded. I watched the woman who was still shooting water out of her pussy. I didn't even know girls could cum like that! "Wait! I thought you wrote this stuff?"

She laughed. "It's fiction! I also hate anal but it's in almost every one of my stories. I write to avoid reality."


"Well, what's the fun if everyone has hang-ups or problems or whatever? I mean reality makes for good drama, but only to a point. In my world, the married guy will always find out that his wife has the same kink he has. Or, if she divorces him, his girlfriend or boyfriend will be a perfect match. And everyone involved always wants to be there. It may start out reluctant but it always winds up consensual. I almost never have characters under 16, but even with them, it's never rape and the parents are always ok with the relationship in the end."

"Yeah, that's totally not for real!"

"But since I'm writing it, it's my reality so I know what everyone is thinking and what everyone's real motive is. If I wrote a story where a 40-something woman had sex with, say, a 17-year-old boy, I would write it so that they both wanted to have sex with each other and neither of them was going to be hurt by the other."

"I'd be cool with that." I agreed. "I mean, that makes sense to me." In truth, I was hoping I was about to live out that plot!

She smiled again. "I thought you might." She toggled the windows and clicked a few links. "Here. See if you can get off reading this one."

"Oh. Yeah." I'd almost forgotten about that. "Sure." Our conversation, actually, was almost enough for me to go soft. I started reading.

It was about some guy or something, I don't know! I skimmed down the page until he started kissing. Then he was taking off her shirt and sucking her nipples and that got my hand moving. I kept reading until I got to the part where he unzipped the pants and a dick popped out.

I kind of caught my breath, though, cause it was still really hot. I mean, I'd never looked at a guy before but reading about a dude going down on another dude was, I don't know, really kinda hot. I didn't stop reading and I was totally surprised that my boner didn't go away.

Serena was behind me again, rubbing my neck and shoulders. She opened my shirt and played with my nipples for a while - the guy in the story was right, that did feel really good. And it was totally unbelievably hot when he came in his mouth and the guy was getting off because he could feel the other guy's dick throbbing and he knew it was because he was about to get off.

I could imagine being the guy getting sucked off - a girl did that to me once and I remember the moment I came like it was burned into me. But the weird part was that I could kind of imagine being the guy doing the sucking too. I'd never even thought of that before but reading it - how much he liked doing it - made it seem not so gay.

After that, there were a couple pages of non-sex stuff that I kind of skimmed. Then, I got to a scene when the guy walked in on his older sister and her friend getting ready to take a shower.

"Oh yeah." I grunted. Serena chuckled behind me.

The three characters wound up in the shower having massive sex - with the girls licking each other and the guy getting to stick his dick in both of their pussies. I got about two-thirds of the way through the scene before I had to close my eyes and finish jacking off. I even forgot Serena was there for a minute.

But after I shot my load and I was sitting there, panting and gasping and squeezing the last drops from my now limp dick, she knelt in front of me and stroked the head.

"Aaaggggg!" I cried out. No one'd ever touched it after before and I had no idea how sensitive it was.

"That was so hot, Wolfie." She said, sucking a fingerful of my spunk like it was cake batter. "Watching you got me so wet, I'll bet it's dripping down my leg."

My throat went dry at the same time that my mouth watered. That was totally the hottest thing anybody had ever said to me.

"That's hot." I sighed.

"Wanna see it?"

My breath caught. I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest. "Uh, yeah. Ok."

She stood up. Under the ugly dress, she wasn't wearing anything.

"Whoa." Was all I could say as a real live naked woman stood in front of me.

She was definitely older - not old like some grandmother but she could be someone's mom. She had big tits but they sagged. She had 'love handles' as my mom would say.

But as I looked at her, I was kind of thinking it was all ok; that a girl who would let you touch her was better that a girl with a perfect body any day.

"Disappointed?" She asked.

"Hell no." I said.

She blushed. "Thank you, Wolfie." She looked at me for another moment. "Do you still want to watch me?"

"Oh yeah." Then I really remembered what I was going to watch her doing. "Oh Yeah!" I got out of the chair and let her sit down.

"Pick something for me to read." She said. "Pick your favorite."

"Uh, oh. Ok." I looked at the screen and clicked back to the menu. She'd said she thought Dad was romantic. MY dad - romantic! Somehow I didn't think my mom would agree but what do I know about romance? I picked the title that sounded girlie. "This one."

She looked at me and seemed a lot surprised. "This one? Really?"

"Yeah. Totally." I had an inspiration. "It makes me think of you."

Her expression changed from surprise to something like a cross between lust and humor. "Does it. Oh you dirty, dirty boy."

She put one hand on the mouse and started reading. The other hand she put on her tit and began rubbing and squeezing. I got sprung again just that fast. Quickly, I moved behind the chair, where she had been to watch me. I hesitated a moment before I stroked her hair. It was a bit coarse but she sighed 'lower' so I did her like she did me.

The story on screen started with a man and woman already having sex. She was tied up somehow and there were other guys actually waiting to do her next. The woman didn't seem happy to me at all - in fact the story seemed kind of sick - but Serena's hand move back and forth between her tits as she scrolled down the page.

It was especially totally hot-weird because the audio from the video was a guy yelling about dicks in his ass.

Then, in the story, the woman was untied and four guys actually did her at the same time. Serena made a small, cooing sound and her free hand dropped between her legs. I stopped reading and leaned forward to see her hand.

"Wolfie!" She wined.

"Oh sorry. I can't see anything like this."

She grinned at me. "Well if you want a better view, you know what you have to do." She pushed the chair back from the desk.

"What?" She pointed in front of her. "What stand there? But won't I block the screen?"

"Not if you're not standing."

She meant I should sit on the floor, I realized. It would give me the best view of what her fingers were doing but the story had kind of put me off. Not so much that I wasn't still stiff as a board, but enough that I was thinking about it.

"So you really like this kind of thing?" I asked to stall.

She smiled. "Well, of course, it's different when you already know both the ending and what all the characters are really thinking." She gave me a kind of arched look. "You remember how it ends, right? You did say this was one of your favorites, didn't you?"

"Oh, uh, yeah." I was so busted!

"For me, as the writer, while all of this seems violent and degrading, I know that Charlie is actually thrilled by every moment. So what the reader learns as an unexpected ending, is a given for me from the very start."

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