Chapter 1

I opened my eyes to the bare, white walls of my cell ... errr, room. I have lost track of how long I have been here; it could have been days to months to years. I was committed to this place after something inside me snapped and I killed my girlfriend. Well, she was cheating on me with my ex-boyfriend and I walked in on them in my bed together. He ran out the door like the coward he is but she stayed behind; maybe she thought that I would forgive her for her indiscretion, I will never know.

Anyway, the court found me guilty of murder, which is not surprising. What is surprising is that the jury found me to be insane, or temporarily insane; so here I am, a 'patient' at Arklight, the insane asylum. Although it is not politically correct for Arklight to be called an insane asylum, they prefer to 'psychiatric hospital', whoever "they" are.

But I digress.

I crawled out of bed and squirmed my way underneath. I had managed to acquire a pen sometime after I came to this place and started to mark the wall every time I woke up. Granted I could be waking up at some random time and not know if it was morning or not; there are no windows and I am not allowed outside. So I mark the wall under my bed in a vain effort to hold onto sanity.

There was a knock on the door and a voice calling "Sophie, time to wake up."

That was my signal to roll out from under the bed, hide the pen, and look drowsy. I needed to create the illusion that I had just woken up when I went to open the door. Originally the orderlies would just knocked and opened the door; I am not sure what caused the change but now I, and I assume all of the other patients, have to open the door to the orderlies when they call.

I open the door slightly and saw Alan; he was the one orderly that I could not stand. He always seemed to have a smug look on his face and he treated the patients badly, well the female ones anyway. And if we tried to complain to the head doc we got dosed with extra meds to keep us sedated; not that we are really sedated, just more mood altering drug experiments.

I glared at Alan, "Can I help you Alan?"

"Do behave Sophie, unless you want to get your extra medications? I can make sure that you are properly cared for while you are ... sedated. I do not mind watching over your reaction to the medications." Alan smirked at me as I blanched.

The sleaze; I shuddered but I opened the door to allow Alan into the room like a good little patient. Alan went around and inspected the bed and checked the hinges on the door. Then he went to check the bathroom. I tried to finish remaking the deal before he came back out but he knew me by this point; he stared at my ass as I remade the bed that he had ripped apart. When he was satisfied that I made the bed to the standards of the asylum he handed me my clothes for the day.

I stood waiting for him to leave so I could go shower and go to breakfast. Alan just stood there leering at me. Too bad there was no door to the bathroom that I could slam in his face. I knew that Alan would be standing at the doorway to the bathroom, just watching me. I hated this part; why couldn't Beth or George or Frank be the ones that came in the morning? They at least had a little respect for me and gave me some privacy when I showered. Alan on the other hand constantly watched.

I striped out of the PJs that I had slept in and placed them on the bathroom counter and turned on the water in the shower. As the water was warming up I brushed my teeth, trying to stay outwardly calm; if I showed that I was upset Alan would be there, touching me, trying to "help" me calm down. I had learned that the hard way the first time he was the orderly sent to wake me up in the morning. I just hoped that this time he would not be standing outside the shower waiting when I came out.

As I stepped into the shower I saw Alan out of the corner of my eye and he was moving into the bathroom. I sighed and knew that this was going to be one of those mornings where Alan was not content with just watching.

I took as long as a shower that I possibly could, unfortunately the water always turns cold after 10 minutes. I do not like cold showers but I tried to deal with it for as long as I could; which was only about 1 or 2 more minutes. I turned off the water and brushed off as much water as I could and opened up the curtain around the tub. There was Alan, standing in front of the tub stoking his cock.

I knew what he wanted but I wasn't going to do it. No way in hell was I going to get on my knees and suck. I stepped out of the tub and grabbed the towel and started to dry myself off. I had found that if I ignore him most of the time he will just get himself off unless he was feeling particularly spiteful. I turned my back on Alan so I could get dried off and dressed. I could feel him staring at me, just watching me.

'Oh please', I thought to myself, 'don't touch me, not today.' I didn't want to play his game, I never did. But I just didn't think that I could play along today, but if I did not then I would have to be medicated more heavily. It was a Catch 22.

"Turn around Sophie." Alan's voice was rough.

"No, I won't play your game Alan. You are taking advantage of the patients in this hospital and I will not be a part of it."

"You say that every time Sophie and yet every time you always do as I say. Now, turn around!"

"No, go fuck yourself Alan."

"You little bitch!" Alan grabbed my hair, forcing my head backwards.

Normally he let up after I was bent over backwards since he wanted me on my knees, but I guess that I had pushed him too far this time. Alan kept pulling me backwards until I fell onto the floor at his feet then he knelt over me. I knew what was going to happen but that didn't mean that I liked it.

Alan pried my mouth open with one hand; did I mention that he was large? His other hand held my wrists above my head while he knelt over me. As much as I thrashed around I could not dislodge him; I even tried to bite his hand to deter him, which did not work. He shoved his cock into my mouth and I gagged. I did not enjoy oral sex and did not actively participate, but Alan did not seem to care. He just kept using my mouth as a convenient hole so that he didn't have to use his hand.

I kept struggling as he kept using me, I didn't want him to think that I was accepting what he was doing to me. I couldn't wait until he was done so I could rinse off and get on with my day.

Alan finally came, picked himself up off of me, and tucked his dick back into his pants and strolled out of the bathroom, whistling. I stepped back into the shower and quickly took a cold rinse to clean myself up and then got dressed.

When I entered my bedroom Alan glanced at me and smirked at me. "Ready for breakfast Sophie?" he asked mockingly.

I raised my chin and stalked past him out the door. When I got into the hallway I changed my behavior to match what the staff here expected of the patients. I had lots of practice acting like they expected me to act; I really dislike the meds that I get at lunch if I don't behave, so I play along with them. For now.