I'm a single mom and if you are too, you know it's not an easy task. I also include single dads and I think it's especially challenging if your child is of your opposite sex. That just adds a complexity to an already difficult situation.
And, that's just where I am in all this. My child is a boy, Adam, who is now eighteen but when this all started to happen, he was thirteen. Well, you know what happens to boys at about that age, you know, twelve to thirteen.
It's not that I didn't know he was on his way to becoming a sexual male, of course I did.
Even small, he'd get erections when I would change his diaper and wipe him clean. Every mother of a boy knows this. And in the bathtub, it's very common.
I did what most parents do, I answered his questions about his body or about sex when they came up, trying to honestly answer them while also trying to keep from telling him too much each time. If you have children, you know.
So, he was fairly young when I explained his erections, older when he asked me where babies came from, older still when he asked what my tampons were one afternoon. Yes, there were times I surely wished he had a father around.
About when he was twelve and thirteen, he also started getting more sex-ed in school. Well, that, of course, broadened our discussions to sex of all kinds, thankfully, they didn't bring up anal but they did talk about oral sex and, of course, vaginal sex and masturbation.
There are a couple of things about my son that have made it easier. He's very bright, a straight-A student with a curiosity that is even sometimes a bit maddening and he's relentlessly cheerful, just almost always happy and well-adjusted. Believe me, those two things make my job so much easier.
I had, of course, told him of the responsibilities of sex, especially in regard to birth control and never forcing a girl to do something she didn't want to do. Also, of course, that masturbation was not a bad thing, it was fine and a healthy outlet for sexual feelings. You probably have covered the same points with your children.
Then, right after he'd turned thirteen, I took some clean clothes to his bedroom and there he was, completely naked on his bed masturbating as I came in.
"Oh, hi, Mom," he said as he pulled the sheet over his middle but doing little else to cover what he'd been doing including the rather prominent tent in his sheet which continued to move up and down.
I quickly put his clothes down on his dresser, turned and went out. As I was exiting his room, I glanced back and he was naked again and masturbating.
Well, it seemed pretty forward but I really didn't think much about it until three days later when I went up to make sure he was getting ready for school and there he was again, naked and his hand moving up and down, as I turned the corner into his room.
I mumbled, "Sorry," and went back downstairs not sure that he ever really stopped. I heard little else and went back up about five minutes later and he was still doing it.
"It's time you're getting your shower and getting dressed, Adam, now," I barked at him as he smiled and did a few more strokes, then got up. I pretty much knew then that what was happening wasn't purely accidental.
And that began my pretty regularly coming upon him as he was pleasuring himself, morning, noon, and night. He was never very fast in stopping or covering himself, sometimes, in the mornings, just taking a few more strokes then getting up and walking slowly to his bathroom to shower with his erection leading the way.
He was also usually masturbating with his eyes closed so he almost never stopped when I walked in on him, I had to actually say something or clear my throat. Even then, there were times when he'd say, "Be finished in a minute, Mom," and just go on as he looked right at me.
Now I'm no fool, it certainly seemed to me that he was being deliberately exhibitionistic about it all and it all had to do with me being female and him being male.
Then, there was the evening when I went to tell him it was well-past his bedtime and to turn out the light when I turned into his room and he was going at it again.
"Time to put the light out, Adam."
"Mmm, mmm, can't stop," he blurted as semen began spurting up out of his penis as I stood there.
"Ohh, that feels so good, mmm," my son groaned as he looked right at me.
"You need to make this more private, Adam," I said and pulled the door closed. I then went to bed myself and masturbated twice. Yes, I know, I know.
I decided that I just had to talk with him about it even though it made me rather uncomfortable to do so.
It was Saturday morning and when he was sitting there eating his cereal, I sat down at the table to broach the subject.
So, I started, "You know, Adam, I've told you that masturbation is okay, that it's part of a healthy sexual life."
"Yeah, that everybody does it, right? Even you, Mom, right?"
"Um, yes, but what you need to understand is that it's a private matter, something that one should do alone."
"Yeah, I do."
Well, technically he had me there.
"True, but you should close your door and lock it when you do."
"Well, I just kind of start, you know, I start thinking about girls or ... um, well, maybe really pretty women, you know, and, well, that gets me started and then it's too late to close the door."
"I've wondered if perhaps you've wanted me to watch you?"
I thought I'd really get it out in the open but, then, realized that maybe I didn't quite put the question the right way.
"Yeah, I'd love for you to watch, Mom. We could do it together. I often think of you when I'm doing it."
Well, shit, just as I feared, he took my question the wrong way.
"Oh, what I meant was, have you been trying to let me catch you doing it?"
"Oh, I thought you meant ... oh, I see. Well, yeah, I guess maybe I have. I've been thinking about you doing it just down the hall, you know, in your bedroom, and I'm doing it, too, and you're so pretty and all, geez, I hope you're not mad?"
I kind of laughed a bit and also let it sink in that my son was masturbating with images of his mother going through his mind.
"No, honey, I'm not mad, you didn't do anything wrong. I suppose, if I understood correctly, that you think of me sometimes when you do it, well, maybe I should feel rather complimented."
"I think of you practically every time, Mom."
Well, I raised him to be honest.
"But, honey, there's so many pretty girls in your school. Um, Gretchen, what about her?"
"Mom, look at you. You are beautiful and sexy and hot, I mean, I've seen you a couple of times naked and, well...".
He looked funny when he said that, I guess it just came out without thinking.
"So, you've seen me a few times, huh? I guess I won't ask you about that but I hope you're not trying to spy on me."
"No, Mom, I wouldn't do that but, well, it's happened a couple of times."
"Well, I didn't know. So, I guess you liked what you saw?"
"Oh, Mom, you are so hot, you really are."
"Does this mean my son has the hots for me?" I asked more kidding than not.
But his reply was not, it was "Yeah, that's exactly what your son has for you," and he was looking me right in the eyes.
"Well, you need to close your door, Adam, okay?" I told him as I felt heat spread across my face.
"Yes, Mom," he answered and we went on to straightening up the kitchen.
Well, well, I thought. I'm sure this is not unheard of and when he told me, well, I was brought up to be honest as well, and, you know, it turned me on. I know all the pros and cons but the fact was that it turned me on and I soon went up to my room and stripped off my clothes, taking my very wet panties and putting them in the clothes hamper, then stretching out and getting myself off very nicely if a bit naughtily, I was thinking of my son the whole time.
Dressed and back downstairs, I came into the kitchen as Adam looked up at me from a magazine and said, grinning, "Looks like I got off quicker than you did, Mom."
I had begun making two hamburger patties for our supper later when I replied, "It's a private affair, Adam, you know that," but I did smile at him.
"Mine was really good, every time I dream about you, Mom, it's just the best. I'd love for you to watch me sometime."
"I'm not sure that would be particularly appropriate, Adam."
"Sure would be fun, I'd love to have you see me shoot my cum. You kind of did once, but, I mean, all the way from the beginning. And all from dreaming about my sexy mom."
"I think this conversation has gone a bit too far, can we talk about something else?"
And we did change the subject.
But a change began to take place in my own masturbation. Now I was thinking about Adam, rather than the usual movie star or the guy in accounting who just hired on at the office. He's a hunk but I've begun to wonder if I'm the wrong gender for him. Like Seinfeld, not that I see anything wrong with that.
But I was feeling a little different about my son, now checking the state of his pants, seeing if he was erect, taking more note when he'd run upstairs for ten or fifteen minutes. I'd also found his stash of Playboy and Penthouse magazines along with three photos of me in a bikini a few years ago. Hmm.
Then, the very next day, on Sunday, I had heard him up so I started some scrambled eggs for us to have and when he hadn't shown up in a few minutes and I was taking them off the stove so they wouldn't overcook, I called up for him.
Waiting a few more minutes, I trotted up the stairs and turning into his door, there he was smiling, stroking away, eyes closed.
"Adam, time for breakfast, the eggs are getting cold."
"Oh, oh, I'm ... uh, UNH, UNH, UNH, uh, uh," he groaned as arcs of cum spurted out his cock as he put a tissue over catching it.
"Oh, wow, that was so good. I liked you seeing it, Mom."
I turned and went down and had my portion of the eggs and was sipping my coffee when he came in.
"Adam, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I guess I am, I want you to see me like that."
"I just don't understand, Adam, what has gotten into you?"
I've thought back to that question many times since I asked it there at the breakfast table.
He replied, "I love you, Mom. I love you, don't you understand?"
"Honey, of course, I love you, too, but that's not appropriate."
"It is for the way I love you, Mom. I mean I really do love you. I am in love with you."
I just sat there. So, that's it. My son is in love with me. Romantic, sexual love. My mind was just log-jammed as I sat there. He really meant it, really meant that he loves me like a man loves a woman. But, I just had to ask him.
"Adam, you mean you love me like we are man and woman? Like it's sexual love?"
Well, I asked, didn't I? I slid my hand over on his and asked, "And this means you want a romantic and physical relationship with me?"
"Yes, Mom, I do, more than anything."
Unbelievably, he had tears in his eyes. He was serious, totally serious about wanting me, wanting me in a way I do desire to be wanted, just never thinking I'd be desired by my own son.
"This suddenly seems very complicated, Adam."
"I don't know why, I could just become your boyfriend, your lover. No one would ever have to know. I know you get lonely, I want to change that and I want to be with you."
It was said so sweetly, so honestly, so sincerely, that I knew he meant it with all his heart. He then leaned across the table and kissed me on the mouth as I felt his tongue pry into my mouth and his hand cup my breast.
I just didn't want to take his hand away, I wanted to leave it there, really, forever.
"Can we, Mom? Can we be together? That's really what I want. More than anything."
"I just don't know what to think, Adam, my head is just spinning. I just don't know."
"Let's go to your bedroom, we can be together there, I want to make love to you. You would be my first, Mom. That's what I want. I want you to be the first woman I have sex with. I only want you."
I stood up, took his hand and led him to my room where, once inside, I embraced him and kissed him, both our tongues caressing each other's mouths as our hands explored the other.
Then, I stood there, "Go ahead, Adam, go ahead and undress me," I said softly as he began taking my clothes off.