Chapter 5

Katie was checked into the "Valley View Depression and Anxiety Center" to try to figure out if she was off her rocker.

I was pretty much sure it was just a ploy to get me back, but that train had pulled out of the station so fast it had left skid marks on the tracks.

Wrap your brain around that one.

Katie was there two weeks before I received a call from my Attorney.

"Jason, you've not been up to see Katie have you?" asked my Attorney.

"No and I'm not going. This is just her latest ploy to get this divorced canceled," I said.

"Yes you are. If you don't, then the Judge will put you in jail for contempt and that will hurt our case even more. Not to mention who's going to watch your kids? Worse case is Katie suddenly comes out and gets custody while you're held, and then you're held long enough to prove you're unfit and you get a record. That won't help us," he said.

"No, but we didn't expect her to pretend to be crazy either. I'm sure you didn't plan on that," I said.

"No I didn't, but I have other irons in the fire and this only helps us out until I'm finished. So tomorrow you are going to have your neighbors watch your children so you can march your ass up to that facility and visit with your wife. You shouldn't need to stay more than five minutes, but you are going," said my Attorney as he then hung up.

It was all I could do not to curse as I hung up on my end.

Thanks fate. May I have another when I bend over to tie my shoes?

At the Valley View Depression and Anxiety Center I learned a few things.

There is no Valley and certainly not any view worth seeing. Well not of anything but a well-kept lawn that showcased the horseshoe styled building.

Another thing I learned was during my "orientation" when I was told that there were certain words I couldn't use. Things like "crazy" or "nuts" or "retarded" or anything else that could be seen as derogatory to or by the patients.

Still another was that as soon as I was shown past reception I was ambushed by Katie's Therapist. He wanted to know where we stood in the marriage and if there was any hope of us getting back together.

I pretty much tried not to choke on my own tongue as I pointed out that Armageddon hadn't come yet and there would have to be ice skating at a pretty hot locale before reconciliation ever happened. The marriage was done and it was not only moot to ask, but irritating.

Of course I got the standard lecture about marriages having surviving far worse, but I thought either he was paid to say this or he was an idiot. No marriages survive something like this when the other partner feels so betrayed that they want to take their own life to get away from the cheater.

I just couldn't understand why he felt that the wishes of one person were far more important than the one of the one who was wronged?

I spent almost an hour getting that lecture from the good Doctor or Therapist or whatever he was. I sat and refused to engage him any further in this stupid conversation as I stuck to my guns.

Eventually he got tired of me looking out the window as I waited for him to run out of steam and I was shown to the visitor's area to wait for Katie.

Katie shuffled in to the room slowly and looked lost and despondent, but when she saw me a smile lit up her face and she raced over to me. I think a lot of people took it badly when I hopped over the back of the rows of chairs to keep them between us.

Thank god there wasn't a wall behind them or I might have really hurt myself.

After that Katie sat in a seat in the row of chairs across from me staring at me as I came around and sat quietly in my own chair and stared at anything that wasn't her without speaking.

Once five minutes were up I stood up and slid sideways to get past her and swiftly walked out the door. I just wanted this nightmare over and I was pissed at everyone who was trying to make me take her back into my life.

I managed to go four weeks before I received another call from my Attorney.

"You've not been up to see Katie lately have you?" he asked.

"If you know that, why are you then asking it in the form of a question? This isn't "Jeopardy" you know," I said testily.

"Hang in there I'm almost finished. But you need to make another trip. Also you have to talk to her while you're there. I know I said last time you only needed to spend five minutes with her, but you really need to at least speak to her so it looks like your complying with Judge Wilson's order," said my Attorney.

How the heck did he know that we didn't talk? I guess Katie complained to her Attorney.

"Fine. Fine. I'll do it. I'll hate it the whole way, but I'll do it. I'll even pretend to be civil for a whole five minutes," I groused.

My Attorney laughed as he hung up.

Not wanting to put it off any longer I made arrangements to make the trip up to the center again that afternoon.

This time I didn't have to go through the orientation since I had already done it with in sixty days. Also I didn't have to listen to that quack trying to push me back into a marriage that was destroyed beyond repair.

As I waited in the visitors area Katie shuffled into the room and slowly sat down across from me. She looked like she had been crying, as her eyes were all red. Thankfully this time she didn't try to touch me.

There was a time when, if Katie had looked this way early in our marriage, it would have crushed me. But all I had to do was close my eyes and replayed any one of the new home movies that kept me up at nights. One of many I saw at nights where I had watched Katie getting gangbanged by countless males when she left me and the kids to fend for ourselves.

Suddenly those feeling quickly went away.

I still heard those moans she made on those videos at the oddest times.

The ones that bothered me the most were when she tried to make them around another man's dick while a different man was plowing her good from behind. I now have to sleep with my iPod playing at nights so that I don't hear them in a dream and wake up in a cold sweat.

As we sat there Katie said "Thank you for coming. Jason I love you more than you know. I didn't screw around on you. I forgot for a while how much I loved you, and I forgot that I had everything I ever wanted at home, but I didn't ever cheat on you. Why can't you believe that?"

"Because of a little thing called a lie detector your Attorney insisted on having. It proved you were lying and you still are. But what about those changes you made to yourself. Didn't you do them for one of your lovers because he liked athletically built women?" I asked staring hard at her.

Katie's eyes quickly flicked away as she looked at something just past me.

"I changed back for you, you know. I just changed how I looked as something new that I wanted to try. But since you took my experiment in changing my looks so badly I changed them back for you," said Katie quietly while still not looking at me.

I knew she was lying and she knew she was lying, but since it was moot it served no purpose to call her on it now. We weren't going to recover from this and arguing was a waste of my time.

Then suddenly something snapped in me and before I realized it I called her on it before I actually thought it all the way through.

"No, you tried to change yourself back, but you did it for you not for me. And this ... what you did recently to yourself is not the Katie I married. Her you killed and she's not ever coming back. What you've done now is bring back a pale imitation of her," I said as I gestured at Katie.

"What are you talking about? My breasts are back to being a 38DD. My butt implants have me back to almost 38 inches there as well. They are about 37 I believe, but I now have almost the same dimensions that I had before," Katie said as she stared at me.

"You know if you had this done to yourself before I met you, and I accepted all those changes as who you were, that would be one thing. But I liked how naturally your breasts looked and felt when they hung in your bras. These breasts won't do that. They looked like someone tried to put them on you as fast as they could.

"You didn't even have time to go see a very good doctor to work on you because those breasts just "sit" on your chest like someone taped balloons on you. And whoever you got to do the surgery might have just done that in their rush. Not to mention that your hips are now strangely shaped, look narrower from the front, hippy in the back, and are not as rounded as they used to be. It's like looking at an inverted triangle now.

"And we've not even gotten to the new attitude and disrespect you showed the kids and me. You were coming in at all hours of the day and night from partying and drinking. You left me to feed and care for the kids because you were too hung over to do it. All while telling me I would regret trying to get you to give up this wild life and you were going to force me to stay married to you while you did it. That isn't something I can now live with or get over.

"Katie, what you took away from yourself isn't anything you will ever get back. You changed yourself to look like what your lover, or lovers, ideal woman was. It was probably into what Teala looked like, just to please him. You gave them all the time and special moments that only the two of us were to share.

"Now that you're done you are trying to give me second best since you're now ready to change back to stop me from leaving you. Now after you've been and done everything he wants, you now want me to accept his leftovers because it would make you happy. That's not fair to any of us," I said as I tried not to focus on her.

It was irritating that she was trying to pawn off these cheap dime store changes on me and thought I should be happy to have them.

If she had started this way and I met, dated, and married her as she currently looked that would be one thing. I would have accepted her for who she was and not based solely on her looks. But to have her change herself for a lover, and then try to recreate herself as a caricature of what she used to look like, but only after her plans fell through to keep seeing them? No, I don't think so.

Katie tried to return back to looking like the woman that I fell in love, but she only did that after she was done being another man's personal dress up Barbie, and I wasn't going to take someone else's hand me downs after she put them in front of me.

"Quit saying lovers! There wasn't anyone who was my lover but you! I only loved you! If anything they were just used to pass the time! I just forgot how important you were to me for a little while! Why can't you understand that! Why can't you see that I love you!" said Katie emphatically snapping me back into the conversation.

"Katie we've gone over this and over this, and now you're splitting hairs. You failed the lie detector twice on whether or not you cheated on me. To make it worse you failed on other points well. Some of them were around whether or not you were giving other men "anal" and "oral" sex. Two things you said you would never do and you would kill me in my sleep if I persisted in asking for.

"But you, you ran off with Teala and apparently by both of your test results were giving these things to other men without so much as a second thought about me or the kids. You know, while I was at home doing without even getting my most basic needs for sex met. You were out doing these things while I lay in our bed hoping against hope you weren't out cheating on me.

"Like a fool I lay there praying that you would come to your senses, but instead you were giving up parts of you that you can now never exclusively share with me," I said hoping that I could get my point across and end this charade and get my divorce from this lying whore.

Katie stared at me for a moment quietly as she was lost in thought.

I could almost see it when the light bulb went off in her head

"So that's all I need to do to end this nightmare," said Katie quietly to herself.

It was said so quietly that I almost didn't hear it, but not quite quietly enough.

"What was that?" I asked.

I tried to play like I had no idea what Katie was talking about. I was hoping she got it and would sign the papers.

"That's it! You're just upset that I wasn't giving you what one or two others got. I can fix that. Let me give you a blowjob as well and then you'll have gotten from me the same thing as those few other men. Once I do that we can go back to being a family.

"I'll also let you do my ass every night for the next two years. I'll even blow you afterwards! I won't even ask for you for regular sex or to kiss me and cuddle with me afterwards. You can use me any way you want like. I'll be your and only your exclusive whore! I'll take that as my form of punishment until we get this all worked out.

"I know that you'll still be mad at me for a while until we get this all worked out, and you'll probably be rough with me until it's out of your system, but I can handle it until you do. But we can fix this! We can fix this together!" said Katie excitedly with shinning eyes.

I saw the look of the depressed woman before me disappear with this revelation. Now with a new purpose in life her face took on a look of determination.

By the videos I also knew that Katie had had some pretty rough sex while she was away from me, so I was quite sure she in fact could take anything I dished out, if I was ever inclined to touch her again.

I realized I missed my mark and she had no intention of backing away.

As a side note I realized that she had quit trying to pretend that she hadn't cheated and was now focusing on minimizing the number of men to reduce the damage. Katie was now admitting to cheating, but was trying to act like it once or twice that she had done it instead of the multi man gangbangs it actually was.

"Oh, so that's your newest plan? It's to suck me into submission as a way to make me forget that you failed all the lie detector tests about cheating on me? Are you cra ... wait, scratch that. Have you lost your ... DAMN IT! What is wrong with your way of thinking!

"This has nothing to do with my getting a turn at your skanky ass. I didn't marry a whore who I should need to get in line to get a turn with. I married someone who was supposed to be my partner and only be doing those things with me. I never should have needed a turn! There shouldn't have been anyone else but me," I said hotly.

"But Jason, give me a chance! I'm told I'm quite good at it. I can make you forget everything you think you know because of those test! I'll make you feel better than anything we've ever done before together if you let me do that for you! I can fix this if you let me!" said Katie as she started to tear up.

I could tell that this wasn't going as she figured it would. I guess all she thought she needed to do was something like this or she was going to lose me again, too bad that ship had already sailed off into the night.

"You honestly think a blowjob is going to fix this? Katie we can't be fixed! We're done! Everything I asked you do with me early in our marriage, that blowjob, anal sex, oral by me on you, you refused me. You flat out refused to even consider any of it. You refused me anything but how you wanted it done.

"You said those things were nasty and demeaned you. You said you would never be caught dead doing any of that and if I didn't stop asking you would divorce me and take the kids. You know, those very same acts you failed the lie detector test on that proved you were doing those things other men?

"I have six months, I mean six full months of lying in bed waiting for you to get whatever it was out of your system. And during that time you were cheerfully give up everything you denied me and I know that there were some things you were doing that I would never ask you to do. And that was after I had already gone months without.

"So now I've already gone almost a year, while you were out pleasing other men sexually and not giving me a second thought. Do you know how it feels to know your wife is avoiding sex with you so she can use those skills she's never shown you, ones that are only to be used for her lover's pleasure? Do you know what it's like to find out from a lie detector what she's done because she can't stop lying to you while still trying to cover HER OWN ASS!

"Katie you need to let me go. You need to stop trying to prevent me from getting away from you and let me get on with my life. You've done nothing but cause me pain by your actions and those actions have caused the destruction of our family. You need to get on with your life as well, but without me.

"The longer you're forcing this issue you're also forcing me to relive this pain by not allowing me to get free of it. Your failure to see that is keeping the pain of your betrayal at the forefront of my mind daily. If you ever loved me at one time, please, please do the right thing and let me go," I said softly in exasperation.

I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

While we might have been seated across from each other, Katie slowly lurched to her feet. She had tears streaming down her face. For whatever reason I noticed that her robe was hanging open and the white gown she was wearing underneath was starting to get soaked with her tears.

Also for some reason I flashed back to when she told me she was leaving me to go live with Teala and she had that diamond necklace and a gold diamond ring on that I hadn't ever seen before. For some reason "now" it dawned on me it must have been a gift from someone she was sleeping with.

But I mistakenly stood up also thinking she was going to tell me she was going to set me free and then leave the room.

Stupid me.

I really must have "Stupid Fool" tattooed somewhere on my forehead, don't I? I must not have noticed that Fate was sitting in a chair somewhere close by in the room watching this play out.

"NO! I WON'T DO IT! I WON'T LET YOU DIVORCE ME! YOU'RE MINE! YOU LOVE ME AND I LOVE YOU! WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS IF YOU LET ME FIX IT!" screamed Katie

I looked around round to see that the few patients and their visitors who were further away from us in the visitor's room were now staring at us. I was embarrassed for us and wanted to calm Katie down. I remembered I was told that I wasn't to get her excited.

But that wasn't what made me look back at my wife when I did.

What did it was when I suddenly felt Katie frantically trying to work my pants to get them open.

I was wearing a new style belt with a clasp she was unfamiliar with. Given all the sex and men she undressed over the last year I would have thought she would be very familiar with just about any type of men's garments.

"Katie stop! Stop it! Let me go! Let go of my belt! You're not giving me a blowjob!" I said as I struggled to make her let me go.

"NO! I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME! I JUST NEED YOU TO LET ME DO THIS AND IT WILL FIX US! I JUST NEED TO REMIND YOU OF HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME!" screamed Katie as she continued to struggle with me.

Now everyone was staring.

Some were staring at me trying to fight off my wife who was trying desperately to pull down my pants. And some were staring at Katie who was trying desperately to give me a blowjob right there in the visitor's area while everyone watched.

Katie must have been very comfortable in large gatherings doing things like this of a sexual nature, because she didn't give it a second thought as she struggled with me to get my pants down.

I had no idea the strength behind Katie's actions. I could hear my blue jean pants starting to make tearing noises as Katie fought hard to undress me. These were semi new jeans!

But just as I thought I would have to get physical with her to make her stop, four orderlies and a nurse dashed into the room.

Two orderlies grabbed Katie by her arms and two grabbed me by mine.

As soon as I felt them grab me and saw the orderlies grabbed Katie I stopped struggling and went lax. But Katie continued. She fought with them as hard as she could. It was as if they were taking her to her execution and she was unwilling to face it.

"NO! STOP! LET ME GO! I NEED TO FIX THIS! I FINALLY KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS! LET ME DO THIS! I NEED TO FIX THIS SO JASON WILL LOVE ME AGAIN! I NEED TO FIX THIS SO I CAN HAVE MY FAMILY BACK! I NEED TO DO THIS!" screamed Katie as they drug her struggling backwards out into the hallway.

I guessed they were taking her back to her room, but I had no idea since she had always met me in the visitor's area after I arrived. The other two orderlies, once they saw I wasn't fighting them, let me go so that they could help their friends.

Katie was giving them all they could handle as they tried to drag her out.

Then I saw one of them rush and get a gurney. They put her on it and strapped her down. Then they took her away still screaming, and eventually I couldn't even hear her screams any more.

"What is wrong with you? You know you can't excite the patients. You know better than to proposition her like that! Why would you do that?" hissed the nurse in anger as she started in on me, but tried to keep her voice down.

Thankfully she waited until all the commotion was down.

Everyone had been watching the action in the hallway and was now starting to ignore me, after while they went back to their own conversations and ignored me completely. I could tell the nurse wasn't happy with me, but as she started in on me something snapped.

I dropped back into my chair and dropped my head into me hands and just sat there as I let all the stress that happened a little less than a year ago wash over me. Crying wasn't something I normally could do, but for the first time in my life I believe I could have done it if pushed just a little bit harder.