Chapter 1: Joey's Life

I read a lot of stories for a young guy. I decided to write about the average Joe, that's guys like me. I'm not a super hero or a vampire, nor am I a secret agent, nor have I been in the special forces. In fact, I haven't even been in the military. When it comes to sports, I didn't even play chess.

In the sexual department I don't have a twelve -inch tongue and can't breathe through my ears. I'm just an average Joe. If you looked up the word average in the dictionary, my picture would be next to it. My dating life up until I turned twenty was almost nil. I don't stand out in a crowd.

When I was six years old my mom, dad and little sister were killed in an auto accident. According to my Aunt Trudy, our car collided with a semi truck. I was the only one to survive, and even so spent over a week in the hospital.

It was traumatic for me my aunt told me; I couldn't even go to the funerals. When Aunt Trudy came to see me, she cried when she told me what happened. She said not to worry, that she would take care of me.

When I was released from the hospital Aunt Trudy and Uncle Ralph took me in. They already had four kids of their own. Two were older than me and two younger. Aunt Trudy said something about being my godparents.

Aunt Trudy was my mom's sister. Mom had three brothers also but she wasn't as close to them as she was to Aunt Trudy. According to my aunt, my dad's family didn't want much to do with us. They were mad that my dad quit college and got married. I guess they blamed my mom; I hardly remember my grandparents on my dad's side.

After arriving at my new home, living with Aunt Trudy and Uncle Ralph, I became very withdrawn; I guess I felt I didn't quite fit in. They took me to the cemetery to see the graves of my family. There were still a lot of flowers on the graves but they were dying. It made me cry.

Aunt Trudy said I ran over to another grave where there were fresh flowers. Before she could stop me I took some and brought them back to put on my family's grave. The gardener at the cemetery started to stop me till he realized I was the little boy who had lost his family.

After putting down the flowers, I stopped crying and went with Aunt Trudy to begin my new life. They had a big house and even had rooms in the basement. One of my cousins and I shared a room.

Over the next week my aunt and uncle took me to my old house. We gathered most of my personal things and brought them back to their house. After that I was told that different family members went to the house and got items that they could use. I know that I got my bedroom set and we also took a few other items.

Aunt Trudy told me that my parents had rented the house and we had to get everything out of it. I really didn't know what happened with everything except I got my stuff and some pictures of my mom, dad and baby sister. It was all I had to remember them by.

Life as I remembered it wasn't the same. Aunt Trudy always treated me nicely but Uncle Ralph gave me the impression that I was just another mouth to feed. I did find out sometime later that as my guardians, they received six-hundred dollars a month. I figured that was the only reason Uncle Ralph let me live there.

I could tell Aunt Trudy really tried to spend some time with me but she had her own family to raise. I felt like a fifth wheel at times. When it came to sports, I wasn't very good. Uncle Ralph yelled at me when I couldn't catch the ball as good as his kids.

I did ok in school and got decent grades but I had to study. It didn't come easy to me. I didn't have a lot of friends but wasn't geeky enough to be picked on by the bullies. I guess sometimes it's good to just be average.

I was born Joseph Wayne Holder. Most everyone called me Joey. I didn't mind; it probably fit me better than Joseph and Joe sounded more like some big guy and I was just your average Joe.

My cousins and other relatives were nice to me but I never really felt loved. I guess I'm not the only person to ever feel this way. At Christmas, Aunt Trudy always made sure there was something personal for me.

When it came to TV, I watched whatever everyone else wanted to see. Usually it was Uncle Ralph watching sports. I would go on the porch or down in the basement and read books. They had a bookmobile that came to the school and that worked well for me because I didn't have any money to buy anything.

For my tenth birthday Aunt Trudy went to a garage sale and bought me a used bike. I was so happy; now I didn't have to ask my cousins if I could ride theirs. I kept my bike in good condition and rode it all the time. When I turned eleven I asked Aunt Trudy if I could be a paperboy. She said she would talk it over with Uncle Ralph.

They said I could, and every day after school I delivered my papers. Uncle Ralph told me when he was a kid he delivered papers and it was much harder. He had to collect the money every week from his customers. Nowadays everyone paid directly and I would get paid when I picked up my papers on Friday.

I was told that I could keep half my money to spend as I saw fit. The other half I had to save for a rainy day. After about six months another route opened and I took it as well. Now I felt almost rich, having my own money.

My younger cousins and I would go the movies on Saturday. I paid my own way. Every once in a while I would pay for my cousins if they didn't have the money. I felt proud that I could.

When it came to my other relatives, they seemed caring but distant. They were nice to me but just not close. I guess a lot of people have trouble dealing with a kid who has had a tragic background. Even when we went to family outings or other events, I was introduced separately. An example was at Uncle Ralph's company picnic. He would introduce his family like this: "This is my wife, Trudy, The four brats here are mine and this is my nephew, Joey."

I guess just about everyone knew about the death of my family so people were nice to me but somewhat distant. Maybe that's part of the reason I kept to myself a lot. Even through high school I was somewhat of a loner. I had friends at school but I didn't hang with them after school. Everyone seemed to be in sports or band except me, I just wasn't good at it.

Since I was on the quiet side, I was afraid to ask girls out. Everyone likes the cute girls. The cheerleaders and the girls that played sports were out of my league. I wanted so bad to ask some of them out but they didn't give me the time of day.

Now don't get me wrong. If I talked to them, they answered me. Most of them were nice students, it's just that I wasn't the kind of guy most girls wanted to be with. I even asked one of the geek girls out and she accepted, but it didn't go well. Her interests were over my head and all she wanted to talk about was the different colleges she was choosing from.

Other girls I asked out either had boyfriends or said their parents didn't let them date. I asked one girl to the prom and she accepted. I was on cloud nine for a couple of days until she asked to talk to me privately.

"Joey, I'm sorry but I can't go to the prom with you. Randy, my boyfriend, and I are back together. I'm so sorry, I didn't want to hurt you but I'll be going with Randy."

"It's ok, I understand. I hope you and Randy have a nice time," I replied.

At least she let me down easy. I should have known it was too good to be true. When I went to a couple of school dances I was lucky if even three girls danced with me. I guess everyone wants someone a little better looking or smarter; I was just average.

At sixteen I gave up my paper routes and got a job in the supermarket. I bagged groceries and brought in the carts and I made pretty good money. I worked a lot of weekends since most kids wanted off for sports events and dating. I had nowhere special to go, so I worked. I did give it my all; even though I might not have been a brain, I did work hard. My manager liked me and gave me a lot of extra hours.

I saw a lot of the girls from school come in the store. I always said "Hi," hoping to get a happy response and maybe perk some interest. Usually I just got a "Hi Joey," and they went on.

The young checkout girls all had boyfriends. They were nice to me because I helped them pack the customers' groceries. I asked a couple out but got negative responses or excuses. The older cashiers treated me better. I often wondered if I should ask them out. It seems there were a lot of divorced ones, but I was afraid of being turned down and looking like a jerk. After all I would be jail bait till I turned eighteen not exactly what most women were looking for.

At least I could buy some adult magazines and take them home and read them. I can't tell you how many times I pictured myself as the stud in the magazines.

The manager told me that a person could make a good living working for the super market. They had a lot of turnover since they hired a lot of high school students who would then move on, but those that stayed got the better jobs. He told me he started out bagging groceries, just like me.

When I turned seventeen, I got a promotion to stacking shelves and helping empty the big trucks from the warehouse. It was a change, and I got a decent raise out of it. It was at that point that I decided that I would stay in the grocery business after I graduated.

I applied for a part-time job as an assistant manager in the dairy department, my first step toward a management position. I held that position until I graduated. I had made enough money that I was able to use some of my savings and Uncle Ralph and I went to find a cheap used car for me. My insurance cost more than my car; Uncle Ralph said it was part of becoming an adult.

My Uncle Ralph and Aunt Trudy asked to talk to me one evening. They told me that after I graduated I would have to move out. I knew what the problem was.

They had told me time and time again that I should go to college. They would see that I would have the money to at least start college. I explained to them that I was not college material and was happy to stay in the grocery business.

Since I wasn't going to go to college the income they got for me living there was going to stop. At this point they were receiving almost a thousand dollars a month for me living there. They had been getting increases throughout the years.

I thought about asking them if I could rent from them but decided against it. If I was going to pay rent, I wanted to be on my own. I felt sad but tried to act brave and not try to show it. I did my best not to act rejected. They did tell me that I didn't have to rush but that I should find a reasonable place to live like an apartment. They would help me move my stuff when the time came.

Aunt Trudy cried and gave me a hug. She was the closest thing I had to a mother. I knew if it was up to her I could stay there; for Uncle Ralph it was all about the money.

I talked to my manager at the super market about being put on full time after graduation. He said there would be one opening in the grocery department but it was a night shift job. The midnight crew emptied trucks and set the shelves up before the store opened.

He was pleased with my work the past couple of years and said the job was mine if I wanted. I would get a decent salary and even health benefits. I couldn't have been happier. Aunt Trudy was happy for me. I told her since I was graduating the following week, I would start looking for a place to live.

Aunt Trudy and Uncle Ralph as well as my four cousins came to my graduation. They even had a small party for me at the house. My other aunts and uncles as well as my grandparents on my mom's side came to the party. Some of the people I worked with also showed up. I felt pretty good that everyone took the time to come to my party.

I started my new job the following week. It sure was different working all night and trying to sleep during the day. I know Aunt Trudy and my cousins tried to be quiet but I still kept waking up.

On a bulletin board at work people posted things for sale or rent, and one day I spotted an ad for an apartment. It was within a couple of miles of the store. I decided to check it out.

When I knocked on the door an older woman answered. I mean, she wasn't old. I'm just guessing here but I figured she was probably in her forties. I remembered seeing her come in the store.

"Can I help you?" she asked.