Chapter 4

At this point, I have to rely on hearsay. I only got the fine points of this much later from Marjory Trafford.

Apparently, when I left, Zoe stood watching me and didn't move even when I was out of sight. They had to lead her away and take her back to their quarters; she only toyed with her meal and spoke in monosyllables.

"Do ... you want to tell us about it?" Marjory tried to penetrate Zoe's defences, only to have her break down in tears.

"He's gone ... he left me..."

"Darling, he brought you back to us, knowing you'd be safe."

"I know I was a burden to him ... that I was in the way ... but ... he listened to me, and he didn't judge me, he just accepted me and helped me, treated me like a lady."

"So ... justify his trouble. Make his efforts worthwhile. Make something of yourself. Maybe ... he'll be there when you're both ready, or maybe there's someone else out there for you."

"I ... just miss him already, Mummy. I want him..."

"Zoe, dear, we need to sort some things out. We'll see a doctor tomorrow, get you checked out, and Doctor Smith gave us the name of a therapist that he thought could help you."

"Alex did?"

"He did. So, in a way, he's still looking out for you, isn't he?"

Zoe sniffed and accepted a handkerchief from her mother.

"And, Zoe, I had a word with your father. He really loves you, you know and won't try to control you. Treat him with respect and he'll treat you as an adult. We won't stop you dating, but we'd rather you waited until you saw how things were going with Professor Waters."

"I'm going to see a professor?"

"Yes. Don't get the wrong idea, though, she's a friend of Doctor Smith's, so, I suspect she's not your run-of-the-mill academic."

"Professor Waters is a woman?"

"Yes, dear. Women can reach the top, too, you know. I gather, not just from Doctor Smith, that she's pretty special; glowing reports. Actually, she'd been suggested even before, when we were still looking for you..." It was Marjory's turn to get emotional. "Zoe ... we were so frightened for you. We thought we might never see you again..."

"If it wasn't for Alex ... you might not."

Marjory gave her a sleeping tablet that night – Thursday. She woke feeling dozy, but at least she'd had a full night's sleep. The doctor examined her thoroughly and sent off specimens for every test she could think of. There appeared to be no serious damage ... only time would tell if she had any diseases. As she left, the doctor prayed she wouldn't find HIV antibodies.

That evening, the Traffords sat down with Zoe.

"Zoe, this is going to sound unfair, I know," Colonel Trafford began, holding up a finger when she opened her mouth to say something. "Your mother and I would prefer you didn't try to see Doctor Smith. Give him time to ... think about things. Give him space to get on with his life. You slept with him, didn't you?"

She looked at her father, not sure how to answer.

"I'm not angry with you, or him."

"Yes, Daddy. I ... had sex with him, but it was me that started it. I ... think he ... well, the first night he was really angry with the hotel for giving him a double room, rather than a twin room. I stopped him complaining. I told him I wanted to sleep with him. I told him ... I told him I was nineteen..."

"Well, darling ... as I think you've found, sex changes things. Especially for someone like Doctor Smith, who is, I think, a good man. All I'm asking is you give him a chance to get over you."

"He gave me an email address, Daddy. Can I at least say you've asked me not to see him?"

"Oh, I think that'll be okay."

Sunday night, she got my email and watched the news. Monday morning she saw the first item. Tuesday evening, the police released the name of the 'victim', adding that he was known on the street as 'Cobra'. Her jubilant, "Yes!" could not help but draw her parents' attention.

"Was that the man?" Her father asked.

"That was him ... Alex is still looking after me."

"Doctor Smith..."

"No, he didn't kill anyone. I think he's got ... contacts," Zoe explained.

They got her into school and arranged for tutoring. She was a bright girl and worked hard to catch up the almost two years she'd missed. She took G.C.S.E.s at seventeen instead of sixteen, and got her 'A' levels at nineteen with grades good enough for most universities. But that came later.

First, she had to confront her experiences. She'd not taken money for sex... 'Cobra' had done that, but she had been used ... as a sex-toy, as, effectively, a prostitute. She saw Professor Waters... "Call me Trudy, dear, will you? My title makes me feel old nowadays and I hate my full name." And felt comfortable with her almost immediately. Her sessions, of course, were far from comfortable, but every time she felt reluctance to open up about something, she remembered her promise to me, gritted her teeth and faced the monster head on. Trudy Waters, much later, told me she thought Zoe was one of the strongest and most determined young women she'd ever counselled.

Her test results came back, requiring a lengthy course of powerful antibiotics, but her HIV test was negative, and the repeat six months later was also clear.

With a good, regular diet, she filled out a little and time did the rest. By September, she looked good enough to attract the attention of several boys and, as promised, her parents allowed her the same leeway in dating as her peers. One or two of them pushed her too hard and she wouldn't date them again. Some others, she saw several times, enjoying her dates but never going further than kissing. "None of them," she told her parents, "are a patch on Alex. I really miss him."

Colonel Trafford was (still is, actually) an astute and resourceful man. He contacted my former employer and was told I'd left the company, but still did some consulting for them. If he'd like to write care of the office, they'd make sure I got the letter. No, they wouldn't give out my address. He thanked them politely and then pulled some strings. It wasn't too hard for him to track down Alex Smith, the security consultant, particularly as I was quite nearby. It came as a bit of a shock, though, when he turned up on my doorstep.

I recognised him, of course.

"Could I have a moment of your time?" He was very polite...