Chapter 13: Cherries, Kids, and Cops

Dexter looked at the item and then asked, “Where’s the cherry?”

“We’re out of cherries,” the kid behind the counter said.

“Are there any in the back?” Dexter asked.

“Yes. We got a couple big jars of them,” the kid answered.

“So get some cherries out of the back, and put one on my sundae,” Dexter said.

“We’re too busy,” the kid answered.

There were thirty people in line with twenty of them being kids. Only two people were working the counter. He didn’t have time to go rummage around in the storage room in the back.

Dexter said, “I want a cherry on my Ice Cream Sundae. It isn’t a sundae without the cherry.”

The man standing behind Dexter said, “Forget the stupid cherry. The kid is busy and you’re holding up the line.”

Dexter turned around to face the man standing behind him. He wasn’t upset with the man. In fact, he probably would have said the same thing if their positions had been reversed. However, he wasn’t going to back down.

He said, “How about if he runs out of ice cream? Will you be happy with an ice cream sundae without ice cream in it?”

“He’s not out of ice cream,” the man argued.

Dexter held up a hand with four fingers extended. He said, “A basic ice cream sundae has four parts. The ice cream, the chocolate topping, the whipped cream, and the cherry. If you leave off one of those ingredients, then you don’t have an ice cream sundae. I ordered an ice cream sundae and I expect to get one.”

“It’s just a cherry!”

The kid said, “I’ll get some cherries when things slow down.”

“That’s not going to get a cherry on my ice cream sundae,” Dexter said.

A guy at the rear of the line shouted, “Hey! What’s the hold up?”

“We’ve got a jerk here making a big deal out of not getting a cherry!”

“Well, give him a cherry.”

The kid behind the counter shouted, “We’re out of cherries.”

Dexter shouted, “They aren’t out. They have them in back, and he won’t go get them. Nobody is going to get a cherry.”

A kid shouted, “I want a cherry on my ice cream.”

“See? I’m not the only one who wants a cherry,” Dexter said.

The man behind him had been waiting in line for a long time. He was beginning to lose patience.

Irritated, he said, “Just pay for your ice cream, and get out of here.”

“I’m not paying for an incomplete ice cream sundae,” Dexter said.

“It’s just a stupid cherry,” the man argued back.

“No, it isn’t. It’s a principle,” Dexter said. “It’s supposed to have a cherry on it.”

A kid shouted, “I want a cherry!”

“Mister, are you going to pay for this or not?” the kid behind the counter asked while holding out the ice cream sundae for Dexter to take.

“Not until you put a cherry on top of it,” Dexter said.

“Come on! Let’s get a move on,” one of the customers shouted.

Another customer said, “At this rate, we’ll never get any ice cream.”

One of the kids started crying and shouting, “I want my ice cream.”

The kid’s mother said, “Stop crying. You’ll get an ice cream.”

“Mister, I don’t have time to get a cherry,” the kid said.

“It’ll take you thirty seconds,” Dexter said.

“Jesus! What an asshole!”

“Mommy! That man is swearing,” one of the kids said.

The other kid behind the counter shouted, “No swearing. There are kids present.”

“I wouldn’t swear if that jerk would just pay for his stupid ice cream and get out of here,” the man shouted.

One of the mothers was at the end of her patience. Looking down at her young kids, she said, “Let’s go kids. We’ll get ice cream some other time.”

Her youngest kid started jumping up and down while shouting, “I want my ice cream. You promised me an ice cream with sprinkles on it. I want my ice cream.”

Half of the people started rubbing their foreheads in an attempt to keep from getting a headache. The other kids started making noises about wanting their ice creams. The volume of noise in the ice cream parlor tripled.

Dexter shouted, “I’m not paying for something that I didn’t order.”

“You ordered an ice cream sundae!” the kid behind the counter shouted.

“That’s right. I’m not paying for anything less than an ice cream sundae,” Dexter shouted. He turned to the kid behind the counter and said, “Can’t you get that though your thick head?”

A deep voice interrupted, “We got a call of a disturbance here.”

Dexter turned to look at the door. A very large policeman filled the entrance to the ice cream parlor. The man was standing with his right hand on the grip of his pistol.

Dexter had visions of getting handcuffed and led off to jail. He could just imagine the headlines, “Man Arrested in Cherry Riot at Ice Cream Parlor.”

“I called you,” one of the men shouted. “That jerk won’t pay for his ice cream.”

All of the kids who had been screaming, stopped upon seeing the very large policeman. With very wide eyes, they watched him walk to the front of the store. The sudden silence in the place was appreciated by the adult patrons.

The police officer walked up to stand behind Dexter.

He asked, “What’s the problem?”

The kid behind the counter said, “He won’t pay for his ice cream sundae.”

“Pay the kid,” the police officer said.

Dexter asked, “Do you notice anything missing on that ice cream sundae?”

The police officer looked at it and shrugged.

He said, “There’s no cherry.”

“Right! I’m not paying for it until he puts a cherry on top,” Dexter said.

“It’s just a cherry,” the policeman said.

Not backing down, Dexter said, “A basic ice cream sundae has four parts: the ice cream, the chocolate topping, the whipped cream, and the cherry. If you leave off one of those ingredients, then you don’t have an ice cream sundae. I ordered an ice cream sundae, and I expect to get one.”

The man behind Dexter groaned, “Not with the ingredients list, again.”