Chapter 18

Two days passed before I came fully awake; I'd become partially conscious a few times to eat or drink but not for more than a few minutes.

The room I was in was dimly lit, rain pattering on the window and roof merrily and urging me to return to sleep. I laid there for a while, listening to the sounds of people moving about. By the scents around me, I knew I was in Mathias's house still and that someone was making lunch or maybe dinner.

The smell of cooking meat called to me and, moving very slowly and cautiously, I crawled out from under the blankets, planting my feet on the floor. I was stiff and achy, like I'd just gotten over the flu; I wasn't sure if my serious wounds had been healed and I'd been left with the minor things or if it was a by product of having slept so long.

I was also icky. I'd been wiped clean of blood and whatnot but it wasn't the same as a shower. The need to be clean outweighed my need for food momentarily and I went in search of towels.

By the time I was through washing, I was shaking and exhausted, limping a little to avoid the sharp, tearing pain that erupted when I put all my weight on my left leg. I could feel the healing spells that were working on me, still trying to help heal the damage I'd taken.

I examined myself in the mirror while the water was heating and I wasn't thrilled with what looked back. My usually lighter than tan complexion was still a little pale from blood loss, the circles under my dull gray eyes were deeper and darker and I looked like I'd been ill, about twenty pounds lighter than I had been; no real surprise there.

I'd also managed to collect an impressive array of new scars. My left thigh looked exactly like a chunk of something had been stuck in it: a pink, tender scar about the size of my closed fist with jagged edges. The pain I'd felt on my back when I'd been brought to the Witch had apparently been a bullet; I had a dime-sized pucker between my right shoulder blade and my spine. Three narrow pink lines ran from my thigh to my waist from the Vampire girl's attack, though they looked to be months old in comparison to the others. A few more abrasions and odd scratches had left their mark from my trek in the wild but, considering I was still alive, I didn't feel like complaining.

Once back in the room, I collapsed on the bed, a cold sweat breaking out on my forehead for my effort.

"You look like hell," Talon said from a dark corner, making me jump. "I'm sorry," he said quickly, half standing and reaching for me even though he was across the room. "I keep doing that and I don't intend to. I'm sorry I scared you." Sighing heavily, he rested back into his chair.

"Well, maybe I'll get you some bells," I told him, a tired smile on my lips. I flicked on the lamp because it had gotten darker and for comfort.

"We found your human, Jordan," he told me and I felt my stomach seize with guilt; I'd forgotten about her. "In one of your copasetic moments, you told us to go back and look for her and any other survivors. I'm sorry; there were only two others that made it."

The tears came as anger and frustration warred within me. I wanted to tear every one of those monsters to pieces for what they'd done, but at the same time, I wanted to curl into a ball and weep.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I should have gotten there sooner." I felt his guilt for a moment before he hid it from me like he was hiding himself in the shadows.

"How did you find me?" I asked, wiping my eyes.

"I'd like to say I could find you anywhere through our link," he sighed, "but I'd be lying. It seems you are bugged to hell and back; do you have a habit of disappearing or something?"

"Huh?"

"You're bugged. There's a tracking piece in your ear, left foot and right butt cheek I was told, as well as having multiple seeking spells attuned to your blood." He explained it all matter-of-factly and I just stared at him. "I guess this means you didn't know."

"You could say that," I choked out, not sure whether I should be pissed off or not, considering at least one of them had worked to find me. "What did you mean about our link? And was that really you talking in my head?" I suddenly wondered if what I'd thought had been my imagination had actually been him.

"I told you on the way back home that I could hear you calling me." He sounded a little smug, or at least as smug as he ever did. "I can also call to you."

"And I still call bullshit because I know I'm not telepathic."

"Aside from the inborn talent," Talon said, "in what other instances does a telepathic bond occur?"

"You're trying to make me think on an empty stomach?" I groused instead of answering, my stomach growling loudly enough to make him laugh a little, a sound that seemed painful to him.

Wrapping the towel more firmly around me, I hobbled over to the dresser; in the Alpha's house, spare clothes were kept on hand for those who'd Changed. I pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants, finding a pair of panties in the dresser as well that were brand new.

Without any real hesitation, I dropped my towel and struggled into the clothes, my wet hair making things difficult.

"Oh gods, I'm sorry, Ramirez," Talon said softly, his eyes averted after a quick glance.

"What?" I was looking at him, alarmed.

"If only I'd gotten there sooner. As it is, you're scarred for life, because of me." Shame, anger and regret coursed through him as he clenched his fists and jaw.

I laughed. I couldn't help it even though it hurt and I had to sit back down. Maybe I was punch-drunk, maybe I was slightly insane; whatever the reason, his reaction struck me as funny. "Do you really think scars bother me?" I asked him, stifling any remaining giggles. "Did you ever get a good look at my body before this all went down?" I pulled the shirt back over my head and turned my back to him. I knew he'd see what looked like pale tiger stripes with a few jagged places from teeth; the results of my life with the pack. "Those aren't birth marks, Babe, and they aren't new."

"You're so beautiful," he breathed after a moment, so quiet I almost missed it, though his comment made me flinch; that was one accusation I rarely heard. "All of your forms are. You are a gorgeous predator, an incredible feline." He sighed when I didn't respond. "I think I should go."

"What? Why?" I blurted, alarmed, turning to face him as I struggled to get the shirt back over my head.

"I made a mistake," he said sadly, almost regretfully.

"You don't want me?" I asked, looking away so I could try to hide the pain that asking that question caused me.

"I never want to be without you," he replied, pain and dark humor coloring his voice. "But you shouldn't be tied with a monster."

"What do you mean?" I was torn between anger and confusion, as seemed to be the case lately.

He sighed heavily, leaning forward slightly. "From the first moment I saw you, I wanted you. Something about you just captured me and I couldn't force myself to turn away. Because of that, I did something I never should have done."

"What are you talking about, Talon?" I asked, striving for calm despite the enormity of the situation.

"I bonded myself to you," he said slowly, his eyes on my face, studying me. "I knew that you were my soul mate, at least once I finally gave in and asked Marcus about our connection." He easily read the confusion on my face. "I lied when I told you I'd never fed from you before you first offered. But not by much. It was on the plane, going back home. Do you remember?"

"Yes," I whispered. He'd been so angry at my being hurt, and then he'd kissed me for the first time. It wasn't something I was likely to forget.

"I told you I wanted to make sure what you felt towards me then was real," he explained, "so I took a little, using it to put you into a trance so I could enter your mind." He paused for a moment. "I was so afraid to lose you that I did the only thing I knew to do; I strengthened the link we'd developed, making it more of a bond, something not easily severed. I should never have done that. I'm sorry."

"Why?" I asked, pulling my pants on. "I'm not sure I understand your regret. And why did you call yourself a monster?" He didn't answer. "Is it because of your true form?" He shrugged slightly.

"You were afraid of me, before," he said. "I can't stand for you to be afraid of me, and when you pulled that knife-"

"Put yourself in my position," I interrupted gently. "Two Demons, one very bad and the other unknown, fighting very viciously. They both disappear." I paused, my voice catching on the knot that was suddenly in my throat. "I thought you were dead." I took a few deep breaths and quick glances in his direction to calm myself enough to push aside the pain of that moment and continue. "I was upset, hurt and in shock. A figure, coated in blood, comes walking out of the dark towards me, one who I couldn't really see? Damn right I was scared and would find a weapon. I didn't know it was you," I told him softly, "not until you proved it. You have to give me credit for being conscious, much less thinking and defending myself."