Chapter 1

I used to think that trust was something that you needed to give someone unconditionally until they broke it. Innocent until proven guilty, I suppose. Certainly it was an innocent view, but my aunt had always told me I was far too generous and trusting when I was growing up. Not surprisingly, I no longer think that - now, my belief is more that while you can trust people, you can only trust them to do what is best for themselves. If you can align your wants and needs with theirs, you can bend them to your will. Schemey and tricky I know, but hey, I learnt from the best.

My name is Mike (michael to my mother), and I am currently ... well, lets just call it 'existing' ... in Darwin, northern Australia. I am hiding in this god forsaken hole as its the furtherest I could get at the time I needed to run away - $278 got me a single flight to obscurity with Qantas. I have been here more than 3 years now - ever since I escaped from my life coming down around my ears. Why did I escape you ask? Well...

A bit over 3 years ago, I was living in Melbourne happily engaged to someone I considered my best friend. We did everything together, and she was the reason I existed. We had met at work, well my work, and hit it off almost instantly. At the time I was driving trams (or streetcars as you yanks call them!), and she was working an admin job in the office of a company that imported cheap widgets from China. You know the types, the kind of stuff they fill show bags and McHappy meals with. The day we met I was driving into the city in one of the relatively new trams the tram operator had. Now this particular tram had a big enough drivers cab that there was room for a second seat - it was designed like that for training purposes. As such, it was at a 90 degree angle facing the driver so the trainer could observe the drivers actions.

On this particular day it was rather dark, gloomy and wet. I was coming through during the peak, and as such, the tram was packed. Annoyingly, every stop someone wanted to get either on or off, and as a result, at every stop more wet and miserable passengers tried to board. Now normally, I don't take great pleasure in other peoples misery, but on this day, I was in a bad mood. I can't remember what its reason was, but I was having great delight in watching the poor passengers who couldn't board having to resign themselves of a bit longer of a wait in the rain for the next service. That was until I saw her.

We all hear of stories of 'love at first sight', but I never believed it before. Still don't as a matter of fact, but there was just something about her that grabbed me. I don't know, maybe it was lust? Amy was a smaller woman, standing at what I later learnt was just 162 cm (5"3'). What I first noticed was her long brown hair which was plastered to her head, her brown eyes, and cute little button nose. I have always liked the smaller - fitter, if you will - ladies and she was certainly a sight for sore eyes. Think Natalie Portman's body shape. She was dressed in a standard business attire that showed trim legs and just a hint of cleavage from her perky b cups.

It had been bucketing down and she had obviously been waiting a while. I had noticed that when the tram stopped, she allowed other people to push in front of her. Well, maybe not 'allowed', I could tell she wasn't happy with their rudeness, but she wasn't exactly what I would call imposing, and as such, was limited in her options. I don't know why I did it, and it wasn't something I had ever done before to a passenger, but I stared at her until she caught my gaze and looked at me. I could only imagine her thoughts on my gaze, but she wasn't expecting me to point at her, and then at the empty seat next to me. In what would become her 'hook' if you will (I could never say no to her when she did it!) she tilted her head on the side and gave me a puzzled look. Indicating with my finger, I pointed to her and then to the front door of the tram.

At this stage, I stood up out of the seat and opened the door into the passenger cabin. I got much angry noises from the passengers that had to get back off the tram so I could open the door, but when the passage way between me and the exterior door was clear, she poked her head in and gave me a puzzled look. Much to the interest of other passengers (always a bunch of busy bodies!), I asked if she wanted to get out of the rain. Within seconds she was sitting out of the rain next to me, and we were on the way again.

We got chatting, and to my surprise she rode with me until we reached the terminus. Much to my amazement, when I went to change ends on the tram (Bi-directional tram) she shyly admitted she had meant to get off ten minutes ago, and hadn't wanted to get off. Well, I know an opening when I see one, and as she got up to disembark at her correct stop I asked if she would like to get together at another stage.

Bad mood? What bad mood!

Coffee led to a date, which led to Amy moving in to my apartment 6 months later (much to her parents disapproval!).

At 26 she was younger than me, but she was everything I had ever wanted in a partner. Funny, smart as a whip, sexy (and enthusiastic in the sack!) and most importantly she got on well with all of my family. A little too well I was to learn at a later stage, much to my disadvantage. Her family was in Adelaide and while I only got to met her parents once, I had met her younger sister, Elisabeth, a couple of times when she came to visit.

At this stage, I suppose it is important to introduce the other 'actors' in my sorry sordid tale. I came from a large family, and have 4 younger brothers. At the time I was living in Melbourne and was 32. Robert, the next down was 26, Jason was 24, tom 21, and Tim just 14 and they all lived in Hobart with my parents. My parents were in their mid 50's and happily married to each other. We had always been close as a family, and as we had grown older and moved we had always made a point to get together a couple of times a year. We all had the same biting whit and fast minds, which lead to lots of jokes and kidding around - oh, and we all loved to pull a practical joke!

5 months after meeting Amy, it was time for one of our family get-togethers. This particular trip had been long in the planning stage, but we had decided to rent out a rather large house boat on the Murray River. We were going to pick it up at Murray Bridge in South Australia, and spend 2 weeks exploring the river. Splashing out on a bit of luxury, the boat was large enough for each of us to have a separate cabin, with each cabin sporting a queen size bed. After much deliberation (is it too soon?), I hesitantly broke the news to Amy. Suggesting she might like to join me and meet my parents led to an amazing night of what can only be described as full on "monkey sex".

As the oldest son, I took my job as chief mischief maker very seriously. As such, I didn't tell anyone that Amy was coming. To be totally honest, I had only really hinted about having a girlfriend at all, so nothing was expected. I won't go into detail, but it was easy to see that Amy was a hit amongst my family. I remember that my father pulled me aside at one stage to tell me that she was a keeper and that he expected me to treat her like a princess. I sometimes look back on this, and wish there had been similar advice given to Amy, although I don't expect it would have made much difference.

The holiday was a lot of fun, and we came away more - well, lets call it 'attracted', shall we? The L word still hurts. In hindsight, one of the things I do remember about the holiday was how well she seemed to get on with my brothers, often taking long walks with them while I relaxed or did something else. At the time, I was just happy that she had gotten on so well with everyone. It also lead to me inviting her to move in with me - naturally being male I made the 'official' request weeks after the actual event!

12 months later and 18 months after meeting Amy we attended a family reunion at my parents house. About an hour before dinner one night I had pulled my mother aside (after making sure Amy was out of ear shot) and showed her the ring. At the time, I put it down to sadness of 'losing' her eldest son, but her first emotion to me seemed to be sadness. She quickly hugged me, and told me it was a beautiful ring, before excusing herself to find my father. I was so excited and nervous myself at the time that I didn't pick up on her unease, but once again, in hindsight it was clear that something wasn't right.

That night I proposed. After much shocked silence (and I think my face was turning blue from holding my breath so long) she said yes. It wasn't the amazing "yes, yes yes!" (queue throwing herself at me) I was hoping for, but at the time the way she said yes wasn't important. What was, was that she had said yes.

In the weeks that followed our engagement we talked a lot about our ideal relationship, what we wanted, and what we thought the future held. Up until that point we had sort of skirted the issue like any new relationship - me not wanting to be the first to bring it up so as to not appear 'needy' or anything. She admitted that I had surprised her with my feelings, and that she needed time to come to terms with things and work out here 'head space', whatever that meant. Being the generous soul I was, I insisted she take as much time as she needed, and that there was no need to set a date until she felt comfortable with it.

Weeks later, Amy announced to me that she had been invited down to my parents house for a 'girls' weekend with my mother. I was particularly surprised at this as I hadn't thought that she had been in touch with my mother - or even the rest of my family. She explained that she didn't want it to be weird, but she wanted to just get away for a weekend by herself for a change to let loose and have some fun. I knew she didn't have many friends in Melbourne so to me it sounded reasonable - plus I was delighted that she had gotten on so well with my mother. On the friday night after work, I had driven her to the airport. During the drive, Amy had seemed distracted and pre-occupied, but I had just put it down as stress - after all, up until that point I had always been there with her whenever any of my family were around.