Prologue: Intruder!

"Halt, intruder!"

"If he makes one move, slit his filthy throat!"

That was all I heard before I fainted. I might have felt the sharp pike against my neck, but that might also have been my imagination. I don't have a strong heart, and I was already half-trembling from nervousness of being all alone in that creepy place.

My name is Eric, by the way. I was on vacation with my mom and dad. This was, of course, incredibly boring, so I decided to get the hell outta there and get wasted. I took my stash from its hiding place, and walked away from the trailer park. In my happier state, life sucked a lot less, and I wandered on into a dark forest that I, in my right mind, would never have even gone close to. In fact, we had been strongly warned about it. It was thick with trees and other vegetation, and we'd heard they could be poisonous. I got scratched quite a few times as I squeezed myself between trees and bushes and needles, but I was high! I hardly felt a thing, and didn't think about the dangers of being stung by poisonous needles. I had stung myself with one less than an hour ago, hadn't I? Well, in a manner of speaking.