sixteen

Dylan lost track of time. The DJ mixed songs together and Toni kept on dancing. Eventually, she came over to Dylan, out of breath and perspiring slightly. She stood beside him and put her hand on the back of his chair. She leant over to get her drink from the table. Dylan could see down the side of her gaping top. She took a couple of long gulps from her glass. Dylan watched the movement of her slender neck. She looked just how she did the night they first met.

"You look like you could use some air," he said as she put the glass back on the table.

"Are you joking? It's pissing down out there."

"It's all right, we can get into the main stand. It's covered. We could go and sit there for a bit. Give you a chance to cool off."

"Okay." Toni smiled. There was a glint her eye that suggested that cooling off was the last thing on her mind.

They left the club and found seats in the back row of the stand. As Dylan had expected, they were the only people outside. He sat back in his seat and took a deep breath. Toni leaned close to him.

"We're all alone," she said, just louder than a whisper. Her voice was so laced with sexual intent that it made parts of Dylan's anatomy spring to attention. "Is there anything I could do for you?"

"I just wanted to talk," Dylan said. "That's why I came out here. You can't even hear yourself think in there."

Dylan paused. Toni waited.

"Toni, there's no easy way to say this, so I'll just come out with it. No! Let me finish..." He held up his hands to stop her interrupting. "Please. I care about you, I do. I mean that, but I don't feel the same way about you that you feel about me."

"Dylan..."

"Let me finish. I don't think it's such a good idea for you and me to keep going on the way we have. It's not fair on you. I just can't give you what you want from me."

"Dylan..."

"I think it would be better if we split up. There, I've said it."

Tears welled in Toni's eyes. She sat silently. The dams burst - first the left, then the right. Dylan watched the two tears streak down her face like a river flowing along a dried-up bed after the first rains of the autumn.

"You don't mean that? You're just teasing me?" she managed to say through the silent tears.

"I'm sorry, Toni. I am. Really. But this is for the best. Believe me."

"Best for Who?" she screamed as the trickle became a torrent. "Best for me? Oh, I don't think so. I love you, Dylan. You can't just abandon me."

"I'm not abandoning you..."

"Oh, so you'll be back for more when it suits, will you? Is that what you think of me? I'm just some little slut that you can use whenever you feel like? Well, I'm not!"

"That's not what I meant..."

"I don't care what you meant!"

"I think it's best if I leave you alone for a while."

"That's right, run away. No, come back. I'm sorry. Please, Dylan. I didn't mean that. Come back. Please."

Dylan left Toni sobbing at the back of the stand.

Dylan entered the club and found Stacey and Julie waiting for him.

"Well?" said Stacey. "Have you done it? Have you finished with her?"

"How did you know..."

"She told me. Don't look at her like that. I made her tell me. I can be quite persuasive when I want to be. Have you done it or not?"

Dylan hung his head. He spoke quietly. "Yes."

"You bastard," said Stacey.

Julie remained silent.

"You foolish bastard! She worshipped you. Did you know that? I told her how misguided she was but she wouldn't listen. She wouldn't hear a word said against you. But I was right. You're just like all the others. She would have done anything for you. Anything! But you were too stupid to recognise what you had. I tell you now, in two months time you will realise what a huge mistake you've made. By then it'll be too late to get her back. You'll see."

Dylan kept his eyes down throughout the tirade.

"Nothing to say? Why am I not surprised? Where is she?"

"Outside."

"Well, dur! I mean where, exactly?"

"She's in the stands, at least she was."

Stacey stomped out of the club in search of her friend. Julie stood in front of Dylan.

"I think you need a drink, something stronger than usual." She handed him the glass she had been holding. "Scotch. I took the liberty."

"Aren't you going out to Toni?"

"Not now Stacey's out there. At least not yet. Not in the mood that she's in. I'm sorry about that Dylan, I didn't want to tell her but when she noticed Toni gone ... Well, like she said, she can be persuasive."

"It's okay. I understand."

"I don't know if Stacey's more pissed at you because you've upset Toni, or because she's likely to miss out on shagging Darren. Another notch on her bedpost."

Dylan huffed and cracked a small smile.

"How did it go? No, don't answer that, it's a stupid question. For what it's worth Dylan, I don't agree with Stacey. I think you've done the right thing. She's right that Toni worshipped you, and she's right that you could have got her to do anything. Even in the biblical sense, but that would have been wrong. You'd have been using her."

"Thanks, I guess. I think I might go. It could be awkward if Toni comes back in."

"Don't be silly. Try to have a little fun." She saw the look on his face and added, "Or not. Just sit in the corner and get pissed. I have a feeling that Stacey might take Toni elsewhere, and it'll be worse if you happen to bump into them. At least if you stay here you can be sure to stay out of her way."

"I suppose you're right, as usual. What would I do without you, Jules?"

"You know, it's funny but everyone seems to say that. I guess I'm just indispensable. I'll see you at the nine o'clock lecture tomorrow."

Julie held Dylan's arms and gave him a small, friendly kiss on the cheek before leaving the club. Dylan skulked over to his table. Empty chairs surrounded it, abandoned by his friends who gone to dance. He flung himself down into a chair facing the dance floor. With a heavy heart, he watched his friends as they danced. He knocked back the shot of whisky that Julie had given him in one go and winced as it went down. He wasn't used to the taste. He put the empty glass on the table. He noticed that his glass from earlier was still half-full, so he picked it up and drank that too.

The rain fell heavily but Stacey didn't notice. She stood on the edge of the pitch and peered into the deserted stand. She couldn't see Toni at all.

"Toni?" There was no answer.

"Toni?" Still no answer.

Stacey cursed Dylan under her breath and hoped that Toni hadn't wandered off into night alone. Then an idea struck her. Stacey raced around the side of the building to find the alleyway that Toni had taken Dylan.

Toni leaned against the back wall of the club. Her hair and clothes were soaked, and the rain mixed with her tears, causing green streaks from her make up to cover her cheeks. She turned her head as she heard Stacey approach. The tears became stronger and her whole body heaved with the effort of sobs.

"Look at the state of you," Stacey said as soothingly as could. "Come on. Let's get you in the dry."

"I'm not going back in there. Not for people to laugh at me."

"We don't have to," Stacey countered in her best maternal voice. "Let's get you undercover, in the stand or the dugouts."

She put her arm around Toni and led her back around to the front of the building. Toni chose to go to the dugouts rather than the seats in the stand, the scene of her humiliation.

They sat down and Stacey produced reams of tissue from her tiny handbag, rather like a magician pulling handkerchiefs from his pocket. She handed them to Toni, who blew her nose with one, and used the others to dry her face and wipe away the tear-smudged make-up. Stacey remained silent; her hand on Toni's knee, just to let her know that she was there for her.

"I can't believe..." Toni began but tears took over and wouldn't allow her to finish.

"I know," said Stacey. She hid the anger that she felt towards Dylan. "I know."

"Stace? Toni? Where are you?" It was Julie.

Stacey popped her head out of the dugout. "Jules, over here!"

Julie came over to them, holding her coat above her head to keep her dry. "I thought you'd gone."

"Not yet," said Stacey. "I think Toni's stuff is still inside, we're not going anywhere without that."

"I've got it here," Julie replied.

"Oh, Little Miss Thinks of Everything," said Stacey.

Toni didn't notice the tension between the two girls she considered her closest friends.

"I guess we should make tracks then," continued Stacey. "I've got a large, unopened bottle of Vodka back in my room. I think that should do us nicely for starters."

Dylan sat alone and stared at the revellers on the dance floor. They were carrying on as if nothing had happened. Dylan considered that for them, nothing had.

How the hell did I get into this situation, he thought. Just three months ago, I was looking forward to starting University, I had a wonderful girlfriend who I and who I thought would stick with me no matter what. Now I've lost her thanks to fling with someone else, and gone on to ruin that as well.

"Merry Christmas, Dylan." He raised the refilled glass of Scotch in a toast and then tipped half of contents down his neck. He burped loudly, "Merry Fucking Christmas indeed."

Stacey had the taxi wait outside the off-licence with the others still inside. She nipped in and brought two bottles of twenty/twenty, the sickly sweet, fruit flavoured fortified wine. The drink of choice for girls looking to get pissed in a hurry. She paid the man behind the counter and flashed him the smile that so many others had given in to. Then she raced back to the taxi and back on up to the hall.

Jo was dancing with Nat and Andrea. She saw Dylan sitting alone at the table. He had brief conversations with Dave and Mark, both of which ended with Dylan being brought another short drink.

Jo hadn't spoken to Dylan since the Physoc Revue, but she knew enough to have guessed what had happened. Her instincts told her to leave him alone because he might lash out at her. But her heart ruled. She was determined not to let him wallow in self-pity for the rest of the night.

She leaned over to Nat and bawled at her. Nat indicated that she couldn't make out what Jo had said. Jo got as close to her friend's ear as she could.

"I said that I'm going to get a drink and have a sit down for a bit."

"Oh, I'll come with."

"No, stay here for a sec, I'll get you a drink but I want to have a chat with Dylan. He looks a bit down."

"You're not trying to muscle in on Toni's man are you? You know she won't like that."

"I don't think he's Toni's man anymore, Nat."

Jo brought the drinks and carried them over to the table where Dylan sat alone and sullen.

"Hey, Spud," she said, jovially. "What's up?"

"Hey, Jo." Dylan spoke so quietly that Jo could barely hear him above the music.

"You've done it then?"

"You're either very perspective or I'm as easy to read as a book with large pictures of a dog called Patch and not many words of more than one syllable."

"Well, you're not exactly the life and soul of the party tonight. And the three stooges are nowhere to be seen."

"I thought you and Julie had been getting along lately."

"We have, that's what she refers to the three of them as. You know, I don't think she likes Stacey too much."

"That's an understatement if ever there was one." Dylan sipped from the pint glass in his hand and continued to stare out at the dance floor.

"How did she take it?" Jo asked as casually as she could manage.