Chapter 4

And though she was wearing panties, which I found oddly erotic looking at, she was also sporting a fairly impressive looking erection, which also looked rather interesting pressed so tightly against the dainty material.

But that is also when it dawned on me. That cock, that prick, that turgidly hard member would soon be sliding in and out of my pussy. I was about to be fucked, truly fucked for the first time in my bizarre little male-she existence.

"Look, I know how you must be feeling right about now Howard, because I'm feeling it too. I'm looking at you as a woman at the moment, a very attractive, sexy woman. And yet inside, I know ... you're a man. And you ... looking at me as a man, a man with a hard cock, something I know must be foreign to you to even contemplate. But you have to keep in mind, I'm very much a woman inside. A woman who is very much attracted to men, and yet ... here I am as a woman, about to fuck a woman in the physical. But we both have to find a way around that logic, that mentality, or we'll never accomplish what we absolutely have to do here."

"Any suggestions?" I asked feeling a little silly at the moment, apprehensive and uncertain for sure.

"Maybe ... something that might help, but it's also a bit dangerous in some respects. More so for you than me maybe, only because I've been living like this for a lot longer than you have, and have learned how to control it, deal with it. But let me ask..." Chris walked over to the bed sitting down on it, drawing me down next to her. Both naked, the inevitable only moments away now, she took my hands in hers. "Have there been moments when you've sort of felt yourself losing your identity? I call it crossing over. It's when your thoughts, even though they're your own, almost feel like they're hers. If that even makes any sense to you."

"Actually, it does. There have been times when I have this mental image of myself, and see myself shaking my head, as though doing so to clear my head, my thoughts. Realizing I was thinking as a woman, and not as who ... and what I am. Almost as though I was actually becoming my cousin."

"Good," she said smiling at me. "Good in the sense that ... that is what we need to do here now. Only we have to allow the cross-over to some extent, albeit only briefly. But like I said, that's where it's more dangerous for you than for me. I've learned how to accept that, and feel myself as Chris, and not as Christine. You need to do that now ... Faye," she said calling me by my cousin's name. "From here on in, while we're doing this, getting familiar, getting comfortable. You have to become Faye, just as I will be ... Chris. Think you can do that?"

I looked down at her groin. "It might help if you were to take the panties off," I told her. "I'm finding that weirdly erotic, and not necessarily in a good way either."

Christine laughed, standing up again, and hurriedly stripping off the black lace panties until she stood in front of me, her hard stiff cock sticking straight out in front of her. I now knew, she'd become Chris, just as I was about to let myself go, and actually become ... Faye.

It was in a way again ... like having an out of body experience, only wide awake. I had to force my mind's eye to see myself as Faye ... not as Howard. I began to draw on the various sensations I had learned about her body, how each of these felt when I first explored my new self. I remembered the intensely electrifying tingles when I had first touched her breasts. Feeling the super sensitivity in having done that. The way the electrical pulses, surges of arousal and desire had traveled so foreignly down between my legs, to my clit ... my clit. Not Faye's clit, not even Howard's clit ... but my clit.

My clit. I was neither Faye, nor Howard. I was a woman at the moment without a name, but that almost seemed more appropriate, more acceptable under the circumstances than anything else. I needed to be anonymous, and I needed Chris, Christine to be a stranger in a way to me as well. Someone I didn't see as either one. I reached out, wrapping my small delicate hand around his thick hard cock, squeezing it, familiarizing myself with the length and girth of it, finding it arousing as I did that. It had been so long, or so it seemed anyway, since I had actually felt myself holding a dick ... a cock, a prick ... in my hand.

"Turn out the lights now," I told him. "And fuck me."

When the lights went off, about all I could see was a bit of shadowed definition. It was the perfect cloak ... for the moment anyway, to submerge myself into this new persona. My lover now ... as I came to think of him, leaned over, sucking my breast. I felt that all too familiar tingle of delight, the surge of arousal and ecstasy as he mouthed my tit. I could feel the anticipatory pulsation as my clit began to throb in hopeful expectation. Hearing a moan escape from my lips, a whispered breath as I fully succumbed to the almost overwhelming sensations. Especially when next his fingers reached down in exploration, quickly finding the nerve center of my sex, tweaking it. I moaned again, even louder this time. Likewise reaching out again myself now, finding that rigidly hard tumescent member as I began to stroke it, exploring it, and familiarizing myself with the object that would soon be sliding in and out of my very depths.

And then he groaned. And I smiled inwardly, finding delight in this simple pleasure, this intimate contact that was rapidly escalating in want and desire for us both. I took delight in the surge of pearly like fluid that leaked from the tip of his prick. So slick, so erotically hot as I smeared it over and around the head of his dick, just as he was likewise coating, teasing and slicking my clit up with my very similar female lubrications. Laying there in the darkness, hearing the sounds, which were so familiar to me in many ways, and yet hearing and sensing them all so differently at the same time. That slick, squishy sensual splurge as I stroked the helmet of his blood engorged shaft. The same holding true for me as well, though the furrow of my sex now basically dripped and pooled my pre-spending that made more of a splat sound as his palm now cupped, pressed and half-spanked the entire area surrounding my pubic mound. I lifted up my ass in wanton greeting to that, the desire building now, the unknown before me. I needed it, wanted it...

"Please ... please, fuck me. Fuck me ... stick your cock inside, and fuck me."

I was half expecting it to feel a little like the way it had when Sharon had slid that fairly realistic looking dildo inside me, when we'd fucked. I was pleasantly surprised when it didn't. Not really. There was a noticeable difference. There was nothing real, nothing alive about the phallus that had filled me then. Pleasure yes, and even that in a different sense. This was real. This had internal warmth, a heartbeat of its own perhaps, a throbbing that was born of need and desire, now matching my own. It was so unlike the sensation I'd felt when Sharon had fucked me. This had depth, a sense of being ... of joining, unlike anything I had ever felt before. I felt nerve endings come alive inside me, somewhere deep, all encompassing. I met each thrust, each lunge with a complimentary contraction, savoring the exquisite friction. Almost involuntarily, I gripped, held, and fought to hold on, yet finding pleasure and delight in the inability to do so. And then welcoming again, the forceful intrusion, that spearing heat that sliced into me, pummeling me, hammering the depths of my very soul.

It ended all too sweetly.

Nowhere's near my own climatic release, I felt the sudden eruption, the quick pulsating throbs. I didn't feel the actual spurting as much as I did feel that. A throb, a sense of release, knowing that as I did, he was emptying his seed deep inside my womb.

"I'm sorry ... like I said, it's been a while."

I felt oddly frustrated. So close, and yet so far away. "It's ok, I understand," I said in response to that. "And besides, this was mostly about getting through the awkwardness wasn't it?" I said reaching over then, turning on the light. Chris rolled over, pulling up the sheet covering himself, as though he ... now she again, felt as shy and embarrassed as I might have. I remained comfortable in my skin, standing up moving off into the bathroom to freshen up a bit. "I could use a smoke," I said laughing. "And I know for a fact that neither Faye nor I even smokes."

Now Chris laughed. "I hear that. I used to. Though my husband never did. And the way I see it, he'd never forgive me if I were to cause him to start to."

And that was yet again another interesting observation. What fall out, if any might there be when and if Faye and I once again returned to our own bodies? Would I ... recall and remember any of these sensations I'd experienced? Would they remain with me as part of my memory, or would they fade in time with the inability to experience them in quite the same way again? I even wondered if I'd ever stand up to pee again, already used to sitting down now.

I came out of the bathroom, Chris already getting dressed.

"For sure, we're going to need to do a lot of practicing," he told me. I slipped into my own robe again, leading him back out of the bedroom into the kitchen area.

"That's for sure ... especially if we're to hope to even come remotely close to experiencing an earth-shattering, simultaneous orgasm together. Since that's what you say we need to do. I'll be perfectly honest with you Chris ... I wasn't even half way close to getting there myself yet."

"I know," she said a bit sheepishly. "Which is why we really do need to do this again ... and soon, and often," she added to that. "But I also need to get a few other things in motion now too. I suggest we plan on doing this again in a couple of hours, provided you don't have any other plans for the day."

"No plans really. But I do have one small minor concern. My neighbors. Explaining your presence here could cause me a few problems after all this is over and done with." Without going into a real lengthy explanation, I did inform her that I had gotten involved the past evening with my two lesbian neighbors. She did laugh at that.

"Well, I can't say as I could actually blame you for doing that under the circumstances. But yes, I can see how that could possibly cause a few problems after all this is over with. So ... tell you what. As a cover story, you tell your neighbors that I am an Uncle. That I came here because of you, and because of Howard. We should only have to worry about my being here for another day or so. After that, we'll have moved the entire operation to a far more suitable place, once the rest of my teams here."

That seemed reasonable enough, so I agreed to the story.

"So you'll be back then in a couple of hours?"

"Roughly yes. And don't go doing anything, as much as you might want to. It will probably help and benefit us both if you remained aroused, unfulfilled. That may help in getting the two of us closer to climaxing together the next time. So try and refrain from masturbating, or even more importantly, doing anything else with your neighbor friends, as tempted as you might be."

It made sense, but it also sucked. I was horny and still aroused. "Ok, I'll wait. But try and come back here as soon as you can then. I really do think we need to practice a lot. Lots and lots ... and lots ... of practice!"

Chris laughed, nodded her head in agreement, as I walked her towards the door. As luck would have it though, just as Chris stepped out, so did Jillian from across the way. She looked at me, inquisitively. There was no way around it now, though luckily, we'd already discussed a reasonable cover story.

"Jillian? This is Howards Uncle Chris," I said introducing the two of them. "He heard about Howard of course, and immediately flew out here to see how he was doing. Probably be staying with me a couple of days." Jillian smiled then shaking his hand.

"Nice to meet you. Chris was it?" She asked again looking past him towards me, her curiosity however saying something else. I'm sure it was because of the way I looked ... nothing more than a robe on, and looking as though I had just rolled out of bed, which was actually the truth of course.

"Yes," Chris said, turning, kissing me on the forehead. And then saying to me, though I know it was for Jillian's benefit. "I'll call you from the hospital as soon as I learn anything more." And then with that, he left, leaving Jillian and I to stand out there alone together.

"So ... no other news yet huh?"

"Not really, no."

"Hey ... I was just thinking about coming over and seeing if you'd be interested in going out someplace for lunch? How about it?" Jillian asked.

"I'm a mess," I told her. "I need to shower, get cleaned up ... maybe you should go on without me."

"Nonsense. I'll wait. In fact ... I could probably use another shower myself," she grinned hopefully.

"As much as I'd probably enjoy that, I let you into the shower with me, we probably won't get any lunch. And I am hungry. Not to mention the fact, I promised to meet Howard's uncle later on this afternoon after he's settled into his hotel. And then dinner this evening." I hoped that my explanation would be reason enough to at least temporarily delay any further activities between us, as much as I would have liked that.

"You're probably right. OK, how about you shower, dress, and then come over when you're ready."

I agreed to that, delighted that my ploy and explanation had seemingly worked. She stopped just inside her door looking back at me however, adding: "I might prefer being with women ... but I'd do him in a heartbeat," she told me once more giving me a wink and a smile. "If you two want an additional female to party with ... just say the word!" And with that, she stepped back into her apartment. Only then did I feel a rather funny, unusual sensation. Looking down, and seeing what was no doubt the tail-tail evidence, as Chris's cum ran down the inside of my leg.

Chris called me a couple of hours later just as she said she would. After explaining to her what had happened after she left, she laughed. "Might be better if you actually came here then," she said. "I've already got things nearly in place now. Just finished renting out the entire top floor, two penthouse suites at the Marriott. Had to pay plenty to do that too. One of them was actually occupied at the time."

"That must have cost a small fortune," I agreed. "So the Marriott then? And why two suites? For the staff?"

"Sort of ... they have the rooms just below us. Had to rent out most of that entire area as well."

"Holly shit. You really must be loaded then!"

"Let's just say, I've been fortunate. But ... the other suite is where they'll be bringing my husband. And I've also already made arrangements to have Faye transferred here as well, somewhat secretly of course, and that cost almost more than renting out the two floors did. Had to pull some strings to pull that one off. But it's pretty much all set. They'll be bringing Faye over sometime tomorrow afternoon, after Steven gets here. After that, we'll be spending a great deal of time with one another ... obviously. But it is again important that we get some additional practice in first. I'll of course have my own team of qualified doctors and nurses here with us, keeping an eye on the two of them. But you and I will have a much more urgent requirement behind all of that. And especially after my visit today. I had a personal look at Faye myself, she is indeed coming around. She reacted quite strongly to the light in her eyes when I examined her. She could be waking up any time now. And so that does tend to complicate things just a little. If she does, then we'll both have some major explaining to do."

"Oh my god! What happens then? What happens if she does wake up before we've even had a chance to try and do this?" I asked.

"Only chance we'll even have then. We'd have to find a way to convince her to join us, which makes things even more difficult for all of us after that. Then we're not looking at just a climatic simultaneous climax ... but a three way. And that ... might be virtually impossible to achieve."

"Yeah ... no shit," I replied in kind ... though my thoughts at the moment were in trying to even imagine that. Me ... Faye, and Chris all jumbled together, with Steven laying in a bed next door to us in the adjoining room. Yeah ... that would go over like a fart in a space suit.

"Well, so you ready to get in a bit more practice?"

"Yeah, I think that's a pretty good plan," I told her. "I've been damn horny all day, ever since you left," I freely admitted. "But I was also thinking about something ... something else that might help."

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" Chris asked.

"Well ... I know how you're not really into women and all that, but since I've been in this body, I've really come to love having my pussy licked. Might help out a lot if you were to do that for a while before actually fucking me ... get me a bit closer, more excited and aroused too, ya know?"

"Actually, I was thinking about doing just that. And I didn't say I didn't enjoy being with another woman, I have been. Just said I prefer being with a man. I enjoy eating pussy, and I'm pretty sure, I'm going to enjoy eating yours too. Though that sort of does raise an interesting question I have. How do you feel about giving me a blowjob? I've actually missed feeling that, if you can believe it."

I knew what she meant. I was rather missing that myself. This whole thing was becoming more and more convoluted by the second. And I could also see what she had meant earlier. It was dangerous being Faye. The longer I was, the less it became difficult for me in keeping the two separate. I was beginning to enjoy my time as Faye. And that did worry me ... just a little.

I met Chris in the lobby of the hotel an hour later. Using her special passkey, the elevator by-passed all the other floors, taking us straight up to our own rooms.

"One of the perks of having these," she said smiling at me. "We don't have to ride up with anyone else, unless we choose to do so. Keeps things nice and private too," she added. "We'll be doing that late tonight, long after most everyone has gone to bed. Even then, I've already arranged to have a security escort, temporarily closing off the lobby area when we bring my husband, and your cousin in later. After that ... it'll be up to the two of us ... with a whole lot of luck."

"No kidding," I agreed as I began to undress, just as Chris was. It was still light out however, and she then turned to me.

"We can draw the drapes, make it a little darker at least, if you'd like."

"Actually ... no. I think this time, I do need the visual aspect as a part of this. I need to see you, see what you're doing to me. And I want ... to see what I'm doing, and how you're responding ... to me."

In the light, it was strangely different of course. Christine coming towards me as a woman in a man's body. And me ... just the opposite. It was a little unnerving, and yet ... as I felt her place the head of her cock inside the opening of my pussy again, it felt heavenly. I opened to her, feeling it as she slid inside and slowly began sawing in and out of my soaking went cunt. It felt far less awkward than the first time too. And there was no doubt that I could see the danger, feeling myself succumbing to emotions and feelings I had never felt before. For the moment at least ... I was a woman, I was Faye ... I was no longer Howard as I thrust back, taking Chris's shaft deeper and deeper, faster and faster until I knew I was hovering on the edge of climatic bliss. Chris slowed. It was obvious she too was fighting it, trying desperately to hold on long enough for me to ride the crest with her. But as she slowed, it actually hurt more than helped my own pleasure. I felt it ebb, and then suddenly begin to back away.

"No!" I cried out. "Fuck me Chris! Fuck me ... fuck me hard ... faster! Faster! Faster!"

She did, but in doing so ... the inevitable happened for her. Once more I felt the sudden surge and throb of her prick inside me. Once again so close, though as she emptied herself, finally spending herself, I too felt the delicious tickle of orgasmic release, though it was far less than what I had actually given myself, or even experienced when Sharon had fucked me with the dildo.

We had again just missed the mark, though we had gotten closer. But it was a reminder to us both, just how difficult this would be, if not actually impossible. To achieve a level of nirvana that would allow either one of us to experience this "Little Death", this split second of out of body spiritual ecstasy, was beginning to look bleak.

"I'm sorry," Chris said again sitting up. "That was better ... but still far from what we'll need to achieve. And we're both running out of time here."

"Maybe next time ... we'll do even better," I said hopefully, though the look she gave me didn't mirror my sentiment.

"Maybe."

We both began dressing again, I knew that Chris still had a few things she needed to do in preparation for the arrival of her husband, and my cousin. But I was starting to think this would be all for naught.

"Mind if I ask you something?"

"Sure, go right ahead."

"You mentioned that there were others ... others that you found. What happened with them? You never told me."

Chris walked over taking a seat next to the bed where I remained sitting. "There were three. Well four actually. The first two were never really confirmed much beyond the same simple tests I gave you. But there was nothing to suggest that they weren't telling the truth. There were other things of course, things that are foreign to most men, or women ... and yet they knew of them in explicit detail, much like you did. The problem was, with the first two, both of their spouses, or partners, had already passed. So there was no help for them, or for me for that matter. The only other couple that were together, and who had crossed, had lived that way for the better part of twenty years. By then, they had grown used to their new identities, new lives. Neither one of which wanted to run any risks, or face the very real possibility that something might happen to either one ... or both of them. Needless to say, they were thus content to live out the rest of their lives together, as one another."

I fell back onto the bed, the realization suddenly hitting me that I too might have to permanently accept my own status. Could I indeed adapt, accept, and begin to live a life as a woman ... or rather as a man, trapped inside a woman's body? I had no real answer for that, and was now more than ever determined to find away to make this thing succeed, if that was even possible.

"No others then?"

"None that I've actually met no. There have of course been others, throughout history, which is the reason I've done the research that I have with regards to this. Trying to find the one key, the one thing that might help, that might work. Some of the ancient texts and writings I have found, have suggested that others did succeed, though there is no real substantiated proof of it of course. Mostly word of mouth, hearsay, or writings that many have interpreted as meaning something else. The one really interesting example I did find, that few have ever been privileged enough to see, actually involved a story about Cleopatra, and Mark Antony. You are familiar with history yes?"

"Well, I did see the movie."

Chris laughed. "Hollywood's version of the event. Though history says there was another chapter to that, which was hidden, and remained hidden as far too many either didn't want it revealed, or worse ... explored, or adapted as an additional part of religious teaching and belief."

I sat up again, interested in hearing this as Chris continued.

"The story goes, with the Roman army on Cleopatra's doorstep, about to invade her palace, and already fearing that Mark Antony had been killed outside in her defense, she chose to end her own life rather than having it taken from her. She then allowed a King Cobra to bite her, thus ensuring she would indeed die by her own hand. Just as she collapsed, though not yet dead herself, Mark Antony broke into her private chambers, just barely ahead of the Roman's who were pursuing him. Upon seeing what she had done, he was determined to take his own life as well ... thus joining her. Taking out his knife, he thrust it into himself, giving himself a mortal wound. As he then collapsed ... it is believed that their spirits just then began to leave their mortal bodies. Somehow, someway, in this neither world, this spirit world ... this cross over point, they saw one another. And in the excitement, in the belief that somehow, someway they could have one last moment together ... they returned, but in the confusion of it all, did so in re-entering the wrong forms. What was translated for me, written on some ancient papyri, was an interesting exchange, supposedly heard and witnessed to by several Roman soldiers who just then managed to break into the chambers as the two of them lay dying ... again ... together. Cleopatra was then heard to say, looking over towards her lover..."My Queen ... my queen. And he, looking somewhat startled, though quickly responding back to her in the old Egyptian language and dialect, which he never did learn how to speak, called her My Antony!" They both succumbed to their wounds and poisons once more shortly after that."

"Wow," I said trying to digest this interesting little twist on history. But it was again yet another reminder just how difficult this was proving out to be. And the likelihood, that I and Faye may very well be trapped inside these bodies ... just like Chris had been, and thus all of us remain that way forever.

"I refuse to end up like Cleopatra ... or anyone else for that matter. This has indeed been an interesting experience Chris. But one way or the other ... I will be Howard again. And Faye ... will be Faye."

"Then we just need to see to it, that we do everything in our power to see to it that that happens," she agreed. "There are a couple of other things I'm also going to try and do to see to a better chance of success for us both. While I'm doing that ... and making the final arrangements and preparations for both Steven and Faye for this evening, I want you to start doing something as well."

"And what's that?" I asked.

"Well, don't laugh ... but I think it's important that you do this. I want you to start arousing yourself. I don't care what it takes, or what you do ... but you need to make yourself as horny as you've ever been ... unfortunately, you cannot under any circumstances, allow yourself to have an orgasm. You need to begin the process of building up the desire, the want ... the need, to levels that are just short of reaching that. When the time comes ... no pun intended, you and I need to be so close to that moment, so physically aroused, that we'll join in that split second of time ... outside of the bodies that we currently posses.

"So you want me to get aroused."

"Yes, as much as possible."

"And so do whatever I want..."

"Yes, just don't climax ... you need to be very, very horny tonight."

"So anything I want."

"Yes ... I'll even tell my staff to see to it that they get you whatever you need. They're reliable, and trustworthy. They'll do whatever you ask them to do. There is just one more thing we'll need to be cognoscente about if this actually does work however."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"That we don't get confused, and get drawn into one another's bodies instead. There is a danger of that actually happening, and that would just make things a hell of a lot more complicated than they already are."

"You can say that again!" I said now even more worried and concerned. Maybe being in a man's body again wouldn't be quite so bad ... but it would also be giving up ten years if not more of my own life looking at it that way. Entering into an older body. And though Chris didn't look half bad, and especially with all that money, it really wouldn't be mine anyway, and it would just necessitate the two of us thereafter living, and very possibly having to work together, like it or not.

"Like I said ... we have to make this work."

"No shit," I said in agreement. "Because I think we're only going to have one shot at this ... either way."

I sat on the bed trying to think of something to both arouse and amuse myself. Unfortunately, this wasn't one of those places where you could order in adult movies on the TV, so I was stuck trying to come up with another solution when it suddenly presented itself to me. A soft knock on the door followed by the sound of a woman's voice.

"Yes?" I gathered the robe I had on around me. Though I already had thoughts bouncing around inside my head as the door opened. Sure enough, it was one of Chris's staff members. I had seen her briefly before next door setting up and preparing the adjacent room.

"Chris asked me to stop by and see if there was anything I could get or do for you," she said. I chuckled seeing her look.